For the second time in two days, Buffy Summers found herself walking home from Spike's crypt in the early morning. This time she'd woken him up before she left. As his eyes had opened and looked at her, she had simply said, "This can't happen again," and left.

However, strange as it seemed, she felt calm. Like herself again, or as much like herself as she could ever be. A good nights sleep had worked wonders on her emotions. If she had dreamed, she didn't know what those dreams had been, but her subconscious seemed to have busily been tidying itself up.

Not that she had any idea what was going on. She was trying hard not to think about it. She had more important things to think about than Spike. Like Riley, whose truck was parked outside of her house. Crap thought Buffy. Oh well, have to do this sooner or later.

Inside she found him sitting with her mom in the living room.

"Buffy, thank god you're okay," her Mom said, hugging her.

"Yeah I'm fine. Sorry didn't mean to worry you again."

"Then everything went okay last night?" Riley asked.

"A couple big fights, nothing I couldn't handle. I did let some of them get away though. Spread the word, you know. The Slayer's back to full strength."

"How are you feeling Buffy?" her mom asked, "Riley told me about the demon poison."

Oh boy, thought Buffy. Well at least Riley won't have told her about Spike.

"I was still a little out of it last night, but a good nights sleep. . ." Crap thought Buffy. So much for regaining control over my mouth.

"What do you mean? Where did you sleep?" Riley asked.

Here it comes, thought Buffy. This isn't going to be pretty. "Um Mom, could Riley and I. . ?"

"I've got some errands to run, I'll be back later," her mom said as she made a hasty exit.

"I was at Spike's. But nothing happened," she added hurriedly, "It was just sleep."

"So you were tired after fighting and staking Spike, so you just slept there?" Riley asked. From his tone of voice it didn't sound like he really believed it.

"I didn't stake Spike. But the worn out from the fighting part is correct," she added hopefully.

"Buffy! How could you, after what he-"

"He didn't do anything to me Riley. At least nothing, and believe me I hate to say this, nothing I didn't ask for. I wasn't in my right mind, okay, granted. But, it WAS me. I can't blame Spike for what I did. The Charcoal Demon maybe, but not Spike. It's creepy, it's icky, and I wish it wasn't true, but that was me yesterday. Not all of me maybe, but still me."

"So what now you and Spike-"

"There is no me and Spike. It happened, okay. But it didn't mean anything. Hello? This is Spike we're talking about. He hates me as much as I hate him. It was a one time thing. And it hurt you I know. You have every right to be mad at me. It's just. . . Riley, I can't. . . right now I don't know what our relationship is. I need time to think, and if that means. . . if that's not good enough for you I understand."

"So you're dumping me?"

"I don't want to. I want to make it work, I just can't be relationship Buffy right now."

"That's just great. Do you know what I gave up for you? My job, my career, everything I believed in."

"I thought you gave up the Initiative because it was the right thing to do. If you did it for me. . ."

"The right thing? Not everyone believes the government is evil. Do you know how lucky you are. All the stuff you take for granted because soldiers-"

"This isn't about patriotism. And what about the stuff you take for granted? Hello, world not sucked into hell because I killed my last boyfriend. And did anyone ever thank me? So you gave up a job you liked for me? I never asked you to do it for us, I never even asked, but if I had it would have been because what the Initiative was doing was wrong. If you did it for me, then go back. Because you're not cut out for this life."

"I'm not cut out for it? You're the one sleeping with the enemy. And I don't just mean Spike. I could overlook Angel. I don't know how much I buy into this whole soul crap, but I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. But now you tell me that sex with vampires is just a thing you have?"

"It's not a thing. Look, Spike was a big huge aberration. I'm not sure why it happened, but I can't just start blaming my actions on others. I'm the Slayer, I have to be responsible."

"The Slayer. It's amazing. You use that as an excuse for everything. Like you can do whatever you want because of some mystical. . . what? I don't even know what you call it."

"I'm trying to take responsibility for what I did here Riley. But for some reason that doesn't work for you. I think maybe you should just go."





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