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A/N: Includes some excerpts from "Out of My Mind"

Chapter 37:

Buffy burst through the doors of the emergency room looking for her sister. Spike was right behind her. From one moment to the next, Buffy couldn't decide whether she found his presence comforting or not. It had certainly been nice on the ride over, having her arms around him as she pressed her cheek against his back. But Spike meant a whole other set of issues she had to deal with and if something was wrong with her mom, she didn't know how she would manage.

They found Dawn sitting in a hall playing with a stethoscope that was hung around her neck.

"Hey. How's Mom? Are you okay?" Buffy asked her sister while enveloping her in a big hug.

"I'm okay."

"And your mom's doing just fine," said a young man in a doctor's coat.

Buffy let go of Dawn and stood up to face the newcomer.

"This is Ben," Dawn introduced him. "He gave me his stethoscope."

"Lent you his stethoscope. Buffy, right?" He held out his hand to her. "I'm Ben, I'm an intern here. I've had the pleasure of hanging out with the renowned Dr. Dawn here while your mom's being tested."

Buffy shook his hand. The intern began to explain to her about her mom's condition. Reassuring Buffy over and over that there was no reason to think it was anything serious. It could be something as harmless as low blood sugar.

Buffy was trying hard to pay attention, but Dawn was flitting back and forth playing with the stethoscope. She listened to all of their hearts in turn. When she came to Spike, she giggled. Buffy wanted to roll her eyes, or shake her sister. Didn't she realize how serious this could be? Instead of paying attention to the doctor, Dawn was trying to listen to a heart that didn't beat.

Dawn was also making Spike nervous. His emotions were as all over the place as Buffy's, but when Dawn placed the stethoscope over his heart he became jumpy, even if he seemed to retain his normal cool on the outside. Buffy just figured his heart was sort of a sensitive subject.

"Hey." Buffy reached out to stop Dawn.

"S o r r y," Dawn replied sarcastically and sat back down in her chair, pouting.

"Why don't I take you to your mom?" Ben said, seeing the tension between the two sisters. "She's still got some tests, but I'm sure she's pretty bored and would like to see you."

Buffy nodded and followed Ben into one of the rooms where her mother was sitting in a hospital gown. Buffy and Dawn rushed forward to hug their mom while Spike hung back by the door.

"Hi," Joyce greeted her daughters.

"Hey. How are you?" Buffy asked.

"Oh . . . embarrassed, mostly. I'm sorry to put you through this. Hopefully these tests will be done soon so we can go home." She looked towards the door. "Hello, Spike. I've been wondering where you were. Come in, sit down."

"Uh, thanks." He moved clumsily into the room and took a seat to one side.

Buffy was relived to find her mom was still mom. Joyce easily took over the conversation, comforting her daughters, including Spike, and keeping everyone's mind away from the fact they were in the hospital with her usual grace.

There were more tests. When the doctors promised there would only be one more, they realized for the first time they didn't have a car. They decided that Spike would take Joyce's keys, ride his bike back to the Summers' house and bring her car back.

By the time he returned they were ready to go and he drove them all home.

For a little bit, Buffy sort of forgot about Spike. She could feel him hovering there at the edge of her house, not interfering as Buffy convinced Dawn that both she and their mother needed to get some sleep.

Finally, the house had quieted down. There was nothing left to do except confront the vampire who was lurking in her living room.

"Are you all right, pet?" he asked as she trudged down the stairs.

"Spike, you have to go," She couldn't deal with this right now. Not when all she wanted was for him to hold her and tell her that it would all be all right.

"Right," he mumbled and headed for the door. Then he turned back. "No, look. Love I know you've had a rough night, but I have to tell you something." He raised his hand to silence her as she started to protest. "It's nothing to do with us. It's probably nothing to do with. . . but it's something to do with something."

"Spike." She plopped down on the couch. "I really can't do cryptic tonight."

"Right. Sorry." He sat down next to her. "Do you remember, back in L.A, when you mentioned your sister, and I couldn't remember her?"

"Yeah, but what-"

"Just listen. I thought. . . well I thought maybe it had to do with the chip. I mean, for a moment there, I couldn't remember her existing at all. And then, just like that, I knew exactly who she was. So anyway, I went back to the doctor. Had them look at me brain again." Spike chuckled. "He was real upset. Claimed he didn't do anything wrong. Went on about how people always blame the brain surgeon first."

She just stared at him blankly, wondering why she was letting a vampire who could kill her or her family babble in her living room.

"Uh, well. Guess you had to be there. Anyway, he said it had nothing to do with the chip. It was a memory spell. He couldn't tell me much more, not quite his area, you know? So I've been up and down the coast, visiting every witch-doctor and mystic, trying to figure out this spell I'm under."

"Spike, what does this have to do with anything."

"It's Dawn. She's not. . . I don't know what she is, but she's not your sister. Look pet, I finally found someone to tell me what the spell was. It's her. I mean she's not the spell. But someone put a spell on me, and I'm guessing everyone else to make us think the nibblet was your sister."

"That's absurd. You're saying my sister is what? A demon spy?"

"No. . . I don't know what she is. Don't think she's a demon, though. She's got a heartbeat and all that, she even smells human. . . Oh! I could bite her, see if she's-"

"YOU ARE NOT," Buffy remembered her mother and sister were asleep upstairs and lowered her voice. "You are not biting my sister. Look, I don't know what this is about Spike, but this is the most ridiculous attempt at getting back together I've ever seen."

"This isn't about getting back together," he snapped back at her. "I'm trying to warn you. . ." He desperately looked for the words, after all he didn't know what he was trying to warn her about.

Buffy wasn't paying attention to that. She'd been so sure that whatever Spike had been up to, it was about her. About trying to get her back. She was hurt to know that he wasn't even trying to be with her.

"So you don't want to get back together?" she asked quietly.

"What? No. I mean, yes. I mean. . . Of course I want you, I just didn't think. You said. . . I didn't think. . . that is. . . "

Spike gave up on trying to find the right words. Instead, he fell back on what he knew best. He took her face in his hands, and before she could protest or move away, he kissed her.

It wasn't a kiss of crushing and overwhelming passion. It wasn't a long kiss, either. Just the barest brushing of their lips. But even so, Buffy could feel the deep longing in both of them in that brief moment.

It was too much. She'd been saying that to herself all night, but this time it really was. A damn broke inside her and once again she was crying in his arms. He held and rocked her. Whispering to her that it was all going to be okay. When she fell asleep, he carried her upstairs, tucked her into her bed, and kissed her goodnight.





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