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A/N Thank you for all of the reviews! I am getting more support for this story than I ever expected.



Chapter 10 – Conversations


Spike wearily knocked on his cousin’s door later that night. Xander’s eyes
widened when he opened the door.

“Spike…what the hell happened to you?”

“She left me, Xander…I told her I loved her, and it was too late.”

Xander turned to his wife and motioned for Anya to stay in the house as he
walked out on the front porch, shutting the door behind him. “Drusilla left
you?”

“No, you git- Buffy! Buffy left me.”

“Oh,” Xander replied in a shocked voice. He had been the only one that
Spike had confided in about his affair, and it was a surprise that Buffy
would just up and leave. “Why?” he asked in confusion.

“She just…left town. Said that she couldn’t stay and walked out of my
life.”

“Spike, man, I’m sorry,” Xander said sympathetically, patting his shoulder.

Spike fell into the porch swing, dropping his head in his hands. “It’s my
fault,” he muttered. “I just kept pushing and pushing until her only option
was to leave.”

“What?”

Spike looked up, his eyes unusually bright. “Dru wants to have a baby. It
was just the final straw.”

“And you love her? Buffy, I mean.”

“I do,” he whispered.

Xander merely nodded, knowing there was nothing he could say to make any of
this better.

* * * * *

“Is it done?” Drusilla asked later that night, sitting in the darkened corner of the bar.
“Is she gone?”

“Yep,” the man replied, lighting a cigarette.

“How’d you do it?”

“Didn’t need to,” he said, exhaling a puff of smoke. “She left town…on her
own.”

“Really?” Dru asked with a pleased smile. “Well, that makes it a lot easier
now, doesn’t it?”

* * * * *

Buffy knocked on her mother’s door two hours later. Her eyes were bloodshot
and puffy, and she was constantly sniffling. She hadn’t stopped crying
during the entire trip to Los Angeles.

Joyce Summers opened the door and immediately opened her arms to her
daughter. Buffy didn’t hesitate as she ran into them, sobbing as her mother
stroked her hair and offered the comfort that only a mother could provide.

“How are you, sweetheart?” Joyce asked gently.

Buffy pulled back, her chin trembling. “I know you didn’t just ask me
that,” she said, trying to lighten the mood.

Joyce smiled before hugging her daughter to her again. After a few
minutes, Buffy finally pulled away and let her mother lead her into the
house.

“Hi, Buffy.”

She turned and smiled at her sister. “Dawnie? You’re all grown up.”

“And she’s getting her driver’s license next week,” Joyce said, rolling her
eyes.

Buffy offered a slight smile and a wink to her sister before giving her a
hug. “Are you okay?” Dawn whispered.

“I’ve been better,” Buffy said with a sigh as they walked into the living
room.

“How was Spike?” Joyce asked as they sat down.

“Not good,” Buffy replied, shaking her head. “About the same as me.”

Buffy almost regretted introducing Spike to her family. She’d never lied to her mother about their relationship, but she hadn’t expected Joyce to warm up to him the way she had. Considering how Buffy’s father had cheated on her mother for so long, Buffy had expected the lecture to end all lectures, but Joyce had simply told her daughter that she would trust her judgment.

When Buffy had introduced Spike to Joyce on one of her mother’s trips to Sunnydale, Joyce had been so impressed with the adoration that had shown in his eyes toward Buffy, she had offered her support. Buffy had been shocked, to say the least, not only at her mother’s attitude toward her relationship, but also for her reasoning, when Joyce told her how much he obviously cared for Buffy. She had argued with Joyce that their relationship wasn’t about feelings as much as it was about other things, but her mother had merely patted her arm with a smile, saying she knew what she was talking about.

Spike had almost turned into the son she never had, calling Joyce to chat with her, making sure that she and Dawn were getting by, when Hank didn’t bother to send his alimony payments. Now, Buffy was taking that away.

She had called her mother the night before and explained the situation, immediately accepting the offer to come stay with her until school started after Labor Day.

“Do you want anything, Buffy?” Joyce asked. “Tea? Hot chocolate?
Something to eat?”

“I’m fine, Mom. I think I’ll just go lay down for a while. I didn’t get
much rest last night, trying to get packed.”

“Okay,” Joyce said. “Sleep well, honey.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Buffy replied, giving her mother another hug before grabbing
the only bag that she’d bothered to bring inside and heading upstairs.

* * * * *

Buffy was almost asleep when she heard her cell phone ringing. She sighed
as she rolled over, grabbing it from the nightstand where she’d left it and
looking at the caller ID.

‘Spike’

As if she couldn’t have guessed. Buffy took a deep breath, knowing she
shouldn’t answer, but knowing and wanting are two completely different
things.

“Hello, Spike,” she said softly into the phone.

“Are you okay?” his concerned voice floated to her.

“Spike, you shouldn’t be calling me. We need a clean break.”

“I don’t want a clean break, Buffy. I want you.”

“I’m hanging up now,” she said in a gentle tone that let him know it was
the last thing she wanted to do.

“No! Please don’t, luv. I…I just wanted to make sure you got to your mum’s
and you were okay.”

“I’m fine,” she whispered.

Spike stayed silent for a moment, as if debating with himself whether he was
going to ask her something. “Buffy…is there someone else?”

“Spike-“

“I won’t be mad,” he said in a tone that nearly broke her heart all over
again. “I realize it wasn’t fair to you…the situation I put you in. Having
to…wonder, all the time, what I was doing.”

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed softly. “But there was no one else. Only the date
with Angel, and you know that didn’t amount to anything.”

“Yeah,” Spike said, shutting his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose as
he tried to fight another round of tears. “I miss you. All those times
where I could have been with you, and I just…”

“I miss you, too.”

“Then come home,” he whispered.

“You know I can’t.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t know. I just want you here, Buffy.”

“I can’t live like that anymore. Please don’t make this harder by asking me
to,” Buffy said, sniffling slightly.

“You’re right,” he murmured. “I was a pillock for so long. I took you for
granted, and I never should have.”

“I should go,” Buffy said softly.

“When can I see you again?”

“I don’t know,” Buffy said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I don’t
think that’s such a good idea.”

“Please, Buffy,” he whispered.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you,” Spike whispered, feeling relieved at just those simple words.
“Buffy…I’m willing to give you the space you need. I won’t come after you…unless you want me to.”

“Thanks,” Buffy said with a soft smile. She was moderately surprised that he wasn’t waiting for her in L.A. when she arrived, and she was relieved that he was respecting her.

“Buffy?”

“Yes?”

“I do love you.”

“I know,” Buffy whispered. “Good night.”

“Good night, baby.”

As both phones were turned off, two people in different cities
simultaneously began crying, feeling better and worse at the same time.





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