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Chapter 4 – Love/Hate


Buffy tossed her magazine onto the couch when she heard the knock on the
door. She forced herself to stay expressionless when she opened the door to
see Spike standing there, looking as cocky as ever. It had been four days
since the ‘anniversary dinner that wasn’t’, and Buffy was still letting her
anger simmer under the surface, camouflaging how she hurt she really was.

“What do you want?” she asked, not bothering to open the door any wider.

This of course didn’t phase Spike as he pushed it open, forcing Buffy to
take a step back.

“Now, now, luv. Is that any way to treat your man?” he asked with a smirk
as he kicked the door shut.

“My man,” Buffy repeated with a harsh laugh as she turned and headed back to
the couch.

“And just what does that mean, kitten?” he asked, following her.

“Nothing,” Buffy mumbled as she picked up her magazine again and pretended
to look through it.

“No,” Spike said in a low tone as he pulled the magazine from her hands and
tossed it away. “You obviously want to say something, so say it.”

“You really want me to?” Buffy asked in a challenging tone. “Alright. It
means that the man that I met isn’t you.”

“Oh, he’s me, baby,” Spike replied in a low voice. “You just didn’t bother
to see him until you were falling for me.”

“Who said anything about falling for you?” Buffy asked angrily as she jumped
up from her seat to stand in front of him.

“You can’t help who you fall in love with, Buffy,” Spike replied with a
smirk that let her know he knew exactly how she felt for him.

“I hate you,” Buffy said through clenched teeth.

Spike’s smile only broadened at the declaration. “And I’m all you’ve got,”
he said, reaching out to pull her close.

Buffy let a small smile come over her features. “You think so, don’t you?”

She watched as Spike’s face seemed to harden. His jaw clenching, making his
cheekbones stand out as his eyes narrowed to look at her. “What the bloody
hell does that mean?” he asked in a menacing voice.

“What does it sound like?” Buffy replied, feeling the need to make him think
twice for a change. “You’re never here, Spike,” she said in an innocent
voice as she pulled away from him to offer an unapologetic shrug. “You
can’t expect me to go without, when you’re obviously not doing the same.”

Buffy swallowed her gasp when she felt her arm seized in his strong grip.
She wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction that he could intimidate her.

“You better be kidding, Buffy,” Spike said, his eyes practically shooting
sparks as he stared at her.

“Look at you,” Buffy said, smiling in spite of the grip on her arm. “All
jealous, just because I may have had some company over the past few months.
I was hardly a virgin when we met, Spike.”

“Close enough,” Spike replied in a tone that allowed no argument. “And if I
found out that any other bloke has touched you, I will personally break
every bone in his body…among other things.”

“You are such a hypocrite,” Buffy said, pulling her arm out of the punishing
grasp as she turned for her bedroom. “You go home to your little wifey
every night but expect me to stay home alone?” Buffy turned around to face
him before walking through the doorway. “You should really reevaluate
these guidelines you have set for yourself because I don’t plan to follow
them.”

Buffy gasped a moment later as she found herself falling to the bed.
Flipping over, she saw Spike advancing on her like a predator. Letting her
own smirk come over her features, she looked him up and down. “Well…I knew
I’d get a rise out of you, but I didn’t expect one of this variety,” she
said, letting her gaze linger on the tented fabric of his pants.

“Shut up,” Spike growled as he covered her body with his own.

“Make me,” Buffy replied, not backing down as Spike’s hands moved to her
skirt, pushing it up over her hips.

“Oh, I’ll make you,” he said, smashing his lips onto hers while
simultaneously freeing himself from the confines of his jeans.

Buffy’s mouth pulled away from his as she cried out, arching against him as
Spike plunged into her. Once he was completely enveloped inside of her wet
heat, Buffy gasped for air as he stared down at her. For a moment, just the
briefest of seconds, Buffy thought she saw his true feelings for her. For a
moment, the man that she’d met had come to the surface. But now he was
gone.

She moaned, gripping his arms as he slammed his hips against hers. Her
hands slid up his chest, loosening the buttons on his shirt before gripping
his shoulders for leverage as she wrapped her legs around his waist, digging
her nails into his flesh as he thrust into her. Buffy could feel her orgasm
approaching and began to speed up her movements before crying out in
frustration when his hands caught her hips and brought them to a halt.

“Spike…?”

“Tell me it’s just me,” he commanded.

Buffy’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him. “Fuck you,” she hissed as he
pulled out slowly, only to sink right back into her.

“That’s what I’m trying to do, baby,” he said, tilting his head and
smirking. “Now…tell me.”

“No,” Buffy said, clenching her teeth together but unable to stop the gasp
that erupted from her as he rolled his hips against hers, effectively
grinding himself into her most sensitive areas.

“I know you want to come, baby,” he whispered huskily as he took long, sure
strokes. “It would be so easy,” he breathed into her ear.

Buffy moaned, trying her hardest to arch against him, but his hands held her
firmly.

“Say it,” he whispered, changing positions to angle himself upward, finding
that elusive place inside of her with every stroke. “Say it,” he repeated.

“You,” Buffy whispered through his erratic breathing, choosing her needs
over her pride. “Just you,” she moaned, becoming mindless with her need for
release…for him.

“Only me?”

“Yes,” Buffy gasped as his thrusts sped up. She could feel herself
unraveling as her body began to hum with pleasure.

Spike let go of her hips, smiling when she began writhing beneath him.
Buffy screamed out her orgasm as she felt her body melt against his. Spike
pushed into her a few more times before pulsing deep inside of her,
shuddering with his own climax as he collapsed on top of her.

Both stayed still for several minutes, trying to catch their breath, before
Spike rolled away and began straightening his clothes. Standing up, he
zipped his jeans and buttoned his shirt before turning back to the bed.

Spike frowned when he looked at Buffy’s back. She had never turned her back
to him, in all the times that he had to get up to leave, and he felt his
heart sink at the implications of her simple gesture of rolling away from
him. She accepted it. For the first time since this crazy relationship
started, she accepted the fact that he would be leaving again. Spike sighed
as he moved back to the bed, spooning himself against her and gently kissing
her neck and shoulder.

Buffy stiffened slightly at the unnatural feel of the tenderness that Spike
was showing her. She let herself relax slightly when she felt his lips
affectionately brushing over her skin. Buffy felt the tears shimmering in
her eyes finally spill over at the gesture. She could handle a lot of
things from Spike, but this hurt too much.

“I can stay a little longer, pet,” he whispered against her neck.

Buffy closed her eyes against the flow of tears. “Go home, Spike,” she said
in a choked whisper, swallowing the sobs that threatened to escape.

“Buffy-“

“Go home,” she repeated sadly. “I’ll be here when you come back.”

Spike slowly got up from the bed before gently running a hand through her
hair. “I know,” he whispered.





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