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warning: cheesy romantic moments ahead ;-) Also, I'm cuting all the chapters like this because I only wrote a couple of very long chapters on my website and didn't want to rename them all. Lazy lazy...


CHAPTER 3: Evesdropping, part 2


"Buffy? Are you there?"


"Hi Will! I'll be down in a sec." Buffy's voice came from upstairs. "Grab a few weapons from the chest, I'm almost ready."


A few minutes later, Buffy made her way downstairs where Willow was waiting for her, already holding and axe and a crossbow.


After Willow came back to Sunnydale, having spent some time in a coven in England, she had moved back in at her parent’s place. Buffy and her mended their friendship, but decided it would be better this way. Too many bad memories. And a little space is always good between friends. They were now trying to get back to being as close as they used to be, so they were spending as much time alone together as possible.


Buffy smiled at her friend. "Ready?"


"Yep. As ready as one can be to go back to high school"


Buffy put on her leather jacket and they walked out into the early night.


They made their way in almost complete silence, save some comments on people, weather and other banalities. They were unaware of the shadow following them closely. Though Buffy did turn around a lot, frowning at the vague feeling in her guts.


After a good fifteen minutes of this little game, Willow couldn't take it anymore. She stopped dead in her tracks. "Buffy!"


"What?" The slayer looked genuinely surprised, and maybe a little guilty.


"What the hell is wrong? You keep looking behind us and you're not paying attention to what I say. Is there something distracting you?"


"No. No, I'm fine. Just being paranoid. I thought, maybe.. never mind. Let's go. I wanna get this over with so we can do something more fun."


They walked the rest of the way to the cemetery close from the high school in silence again, but soon, Willow's curiosity got the best of her."


"Buffy, I thought we agreed never to lie to each other anymore. To never keep se.."


"I'm in love with Spike and I miss him. There. I said it. "


Floored, Willow stopped to look at her friend who kept walking past her like nothing happened.


"So not what I expected." Willow finally managed to say to no one in particular. "Buffy! Wait up!" She tried to catch up with Buffy who had kept on walking.


"Buffy!.."


The Slayer stopped and turned to face her friend. "I've been trying to find a way to say this for weeks now. I know I promised never to hide anything from you ever again, and I was still doing it. I'm sorry Willow. I just didn't know how to say that."


"Well... 'I'm in love with Spike' was a good way to say it. Pretty straight forward… Clear. No ambiguities. Yep, I'd give it a 9.5 out of 10. You lose .5 points for the shock factor. Very bad for my heart."


Buffy laughed and hung her head low. "So... you're not gonna rip my arm off and bash me over the head with it repeating 'dumb, dumb, dumb'?"


"Oh Buffy! Where do you get those ideas? I'm your friend, I'm not here to judge you. And there's not much to judge anyway. Besides, do I look like the saint who could throw you the rock? Miss: I date a werewolf, then turn lesbian, then try to end the world." She stopped for a second and observed Buffy who was still looking at her toes. "So, it's serious huh?"


Buffy finally lifted her head to look at Willow, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.


"Oh Buffy..." Willow pulled her into a hug. "That bad?"


"Yeees" she whined through her tears. "I pushed him away! He's never coming back. I did it again... pushed another guy away from me, and it's all my fault. And I'm never gonna be able to tell him. And I did nasty things to him. And I realized too late that I love him. And I said horrible things to him. And I'm a bad person. And.. And.. you despise me."


"What?! Buffy, no! Why would you say that?" She looked at Buffy with wide eyes.


"You said it once. You said I was pathetic."


"Buffy!! I was drunk on evil powers. I didn't mean that!"


"Must have come from somewhere inside of you. Some part of you must have believed it. You're just too nice to say it."


"Evil me just used something I knew about you to hurt you. It doesn't mean that I think you're pathetic."


"You don't think I'm pathetic for falling for another vampire? A soulless vampire?"


"No. We don't chose who we fall in love with. You think I would have chosen to be in love with Oz? Or to become a lesbian? Talk about complicating your life! It's not a choice, it just happens. If it were a choice, everybody would be happy. There would be no more heartaches. I don't think you're pathetic,” the redhead added sadly. “I'm just very sad for you. He's..."


"Kinda not here?"


"Yeah... That. Do you think he’s gonna come back?"


"I don't know. I don't think so. Let's just say we didn't part in the best of terms. We had a hell of a fight. That's why he left. I don't think he'll come back."


They started walking in direction of the high school again.


"I don't know Buffy. He loves you, you know." she said quietly. "When you died... he was... He probably never told you because he's proud, but we stopped him quite a few times from ending it. And for at least a month, we had to almost force feed him. He was a wreck. Dawn finally got through to him, but I don't think he would have ever gone back to being his old self again. It was like all life was gone out of him and the only thing that kept him going was Dawny. So knowing all that, I seriously doubt he would be able to stay away from both of you forever. But Buffy, the question is, do you think you're ready to face your feelings? What if he comes back and the two of you just fall back into the same patterns again? You didn't tell me much about it, but it didn't sound like a very… healthy relationship..."


They almost reached the school and stopped walking.


"Yeah, I know. But I'm ready. I want this now. It's a little late to realize it though. But even if he's gone, I'm still trying anyway. See? I told you, didn’t I? I also told Giles and Dawn. It's a good step, right? No more hiding for Buffy. If he ever comes back, there won't be anymore hiding. There won't be anymore lies.. to myself, or to others. No more being scared of getting judged by people even if they're my friends and I care about their opinion. It's my heart, and my love life. I'm the one living it and dealing with the consequences. And most of all, there won't be anymore shying away from love in case I would get hurt. You know, Xander told me something once that I thought I understood at the time, but I’m just starting to realize now how important his words were. He was talking about Riley leaving then, but it applies to any man I could fall in love with. He said something like "if you really think you can love this guy ... scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need ... if you're ready for that ... then think about what you're about to lose, go after him." Well he was right, and I didn't apply it. And I lost again. But I'm ready to fix it, if I have the chance. If Spike comes back..."


"You mean when Spike comes back."


Buffy smiled. "When Spike comes back, things will be different. No more pain. I'd like to let myself be happy for once, and make someone else happy in the process. That'd be a nice change."


Willow hugged Buffy again.


"I don't know if I can talk for Xander, but that's all I want for you. You haven't been happy in a long time, and I think it's your turn now."


"What do you say we go check out what's going on over there so we can get it over with and hit the ice cream shop?"


"Great idea."


"I swear to God Will, I've had so much comfort food lately, I'm getting fat!"


Willow laughed.


"You’re not fat! You're just... less skinny."


"What?! I'm not skinny!"


"Are too."


"Are not!"


The two girls kept bickering playfully until they reached a high metallic fence surrounding the construction site. There were 'Keep out' signs placarded to the fence, and not so friendly construction guys all over the perimeter. One of them actually told the girls to get lost. Buffy gave him her answer as a very unlady like gesture that made Willow laugh. They just kept walking around the site, not daring to cross the fence.


Far behind, Spike followed them slowly, still in complete shock after the conversation he had just overheard. He stopped behind a tree to light up a cigarette, and took a look at the surroundings, trying to spot something unusual. It didn't take him long. At a good distance from where he was standing, behind the well-guarded fence, stood the girl that he saw at the bar the night before. She was far, but he was almost completely sure it was her. She was talking to a group of people, one of them showing her a map. But what sent


Spike’s senses into overdrive was the other man standing in the shadow behind the brunette. Spike stared, not sure of what he was seeing, trying to get closer in order to get a better view. But before he could be a hundred percent sure of what he saw, the man disappeared. Spike crushed his cigarette under his boot.


*Bugger... not enough bloody trouble as it is..*


He looked around for Buffy, but she was out of sight. Cursing himself for letting his guards down, especially now that he knew she was in more danger than he could ever imagine, he started looking for her. If the guy he had seen was who he thought he was, the wanker could be trying to kill her at this very moment.


The blond vampire walked around for almost two hours before making his way to Buffy's house to make sure that she got home safe and sound. When he got there, everything was dark and quiet. He climbed up the tree and hopped on the roof to look inside her bedroom.


The slayer was there, undressing, getting ready for the night. She was standing naked in front of her mirror, brushing her hair. If he had breath, it would have caught in his throat.


Buffy put her brush down, and looked at something he couldn't see. She made her way slowly to her armchair, and picked up... his duster. She brought the soft leather to her face and inhaled deeply. Walking to her bed, she sat down. After looking around the room for a few moments, she turned the light off, and lay down, pulling the leather jacket over her naked body.


He could hear her crying and it brook his undead heart. Unable to take it anymore, Spike stepped over the windowsill, and into the bedroom. He walked quietly to the bed and lay down behind her, passing his arm over her shaking form. She kept crying for a few more moments, then turned to him. Putting her arms around him, she nuzzled his neck, clinging to his body.


"You're not gonna leave me again, are you?"


"Never."


"Spike..."


"Shhh, sleep. You need to rest."


Her sobs quiet down, and after a moment, she finally rested.


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When Buffy woke up, it was still early morning. She carefully opened an eye to make sure she hadn’t been dreaming, but being half-buried under a hard, and rather heavy body, made it difficult to doubt. She wiggled her way out from underneath Spike, trying not to wake him up, and looked at him for a moment. She smiled to herself *Yep, this is gonna be a good day*


After taking a quick shower, Buffy made her way downstairs to prepare some breakfast for Dawn. She got out the pan and everything needed to make some pancakes and turned the radio on. She started singing along in a very off key voice, dancing around. Buffy didn't hear when Dawn walked in.


"Oh boy I love you so, never, never, never gonna let you go, once I get my hands on you. Oh boy I love you so, never, never, never gonna let you go, I hope you feel the same way too..."


Dawn stopped at the door for a moment to take in the sight of a strangely overly cheery Buffy.


"Brace yourself everybody, the Slayer has officially gone mad"


She walked to the kitchen table and sat down.


"What's with the silliness and happy face this morning Buff? And... Are you cooking? You finally decided to end my life?"


Buffy put her hands on her hips and pretended to be offended. "I am not being silly, and there is nothing wrong with my cooking missy!"


"Your pancakes are burning pet."


"Crap!"


Long shriek from Dawn, and before he knew it, there was an hysterical teenage girl wrapped around him.


"Spiiiike! Oh my GOD, you're back!!"


"Actually, I'm not really here. The smell of your sister's pancakes are giving you hallucinations pigeon."


"Hey! I resent that I’ll have you know." Buffy tried to object.


Dawn ignored her sister and hit Spike on the chest, pouting. "Not funny."


She sat back down, a huge grin plastered on her face. "So, when did you get back? Where have you been? Why did you leave?.."


"I'll tell you everything bit, just not now.."


"Oooh I get it.” She said sulkily. “You wanna tell Buffy first, right? How come I never get to be the one who hears things first?"


Spike raised an eyebrow at the girl.


"Fine. But you have to tell me everything... eventually."


"Sure thing, nibblet."


"This is so cool! I'm so happy you're back!!" Dawn said, looking like she might burst from excitement any minute.


"I'm glad to be back too Dawn." he smiled affectionately at her and ruffled her hair.


They both turned to Buffy who was swearing softly under her breath, looking quizzically at the pan on the stove.


"Sorry Dawny. I tried, but the pancakes are officially dead. Want some toasts?"


"Nah, it’s all right. You'll burn them anyway."


"Hey!"


Spike tried not to laugh. It would be more than a little ironic to get staked after being back in Buffy’s life for only a few hours. He stood up. "If you ladies will excuse me, I need to take a shower."


Dawn got up too. "I'll be on my way. I'll leave you guys alooone." she bated her eyelashes at Spike who rolled his eyes. "I'll be gone for a very long time... I'll probably spend the night at Janice's." She grabbed her backpack. When Spike disappeared up stairs, Dawn ran back to her sister. She hugged her fiercely and kissed her on the cheek.


"So everything's gonna be fine then?"


"I think so." Buffy answered with a small, hesitant smile "Lots to work on, but I think things are gonna be ok."


Dawn said bye and left Buffy alone in the kitchen.


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A/N: I don't usually name people who review, but I just have to. Cordykitten, Beth, Rana, and all you guys who left me a review for this story, thank you so much. You guys are the best and I want you to know your reviews are apreciated. And Beth, I saw the review you left me for PMJ and if you know a lot about prison, any idea would be welcomed. Not that I ran out already, but the more the better. So email me!





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