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Chapter 20


Buffy sat through the graduation ceremony, feeling extremely insecure. She
felt as if everyone had their eyes on her instead of Mayor Wilkins. Judging
her life, her choices, her protruding stomach.

She now wished she’d talked her mother out of the silly tradition of walking
across a stage to collect a piece of paper. A piece of paper that Buffy would
never even use. Sure, she had to have it for a lot of things in her life,
but all that was necessary was the record of her earning a diploma, not
going through the actual ceremony of receiving it.

Buffy took a deep breath as she stood with her row, moving forward toward
the stage. She impatiently waited her turn, letting her eyes scan the
crowd. She saw her mother with a bright smile, snapping pictures every two
seconds.

Buffy offered her a halfhearted smile, before her eyes traveled to the back of the crowd. She saw the teachers standing behind the rows of parents. Her eyes briefly met with Spike’s and
she could feel her breath catch in her throat before turning away with tears
in her eyes.

* * * * *

Spike watched as Buffy walked across the stage, smiling politely and shaking
hands with the Mayor when he handed her the diploma. He kept a close eye on her
as she carefully descended the stairs, feeling his heart calling to her. In
spite of everything that had happened over the last few months, he felt proud of her.

Spike stood quietly as the ceremony came to a conclusion. He made pleasant
small talk with a few of the parents, watching Buffy out of the corner of
his eyes, always keeping a close eye on her. His attention was drawn to her as she began hugging her mother
and friends, tears in her eyes as she clutched at Willow.

* * * * *

“Mom, I’m going to go.”

“Buffy…already? It’s so early,” Joyce said in a disappointed tone.

“I know, but it will be dark soon, and I just want to get out of here. It’s
all too hard.”

Willow and Xander walked up to Buffy. They had both been so supportive of
her decisions, even though Xander didn’t know who the father was. Willow
had promised not to tell him until they were graduated and she knew that
Xander would be able to take the news without searching out Mr. Bradley.

“Buffy, you’re going?” Willow asked sadly.

Buffy nodded, hugging Xander before turning to her best friend. Both girls
had tears streaming down their faces as they embraced each other.

“You were supposed to room with me,” Willow said sadly, never letting go of
her friend. “The whole first year of college and the adjustments and now…”

“I know,” Buffy said in a choked whisper before slowly pulling away. “I wish it could have worked out that way, but I’ll call you later, okay?”

Willow nodded as Buffy turned to hug her mother.

“You have your cell phone?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly. She pulled away, taking off the cap and gown.
“And I’ll see you in a few weeks, right?” she asked, her voice filled with
insecurity as she handed the items to her mom.

“You won’t be able to keep me away,” Joyce said with a watery smile, clutching the items to her chest.

Buffy smoothed out the wrinkles in her black dress, trying to keep her mind
occupied. “I’m going to go,” she whispered.

Everyone nodded, offering one last hug before Buffy turned and began
walking away. She felt a tingling rush over her skin and looked up to see
Spike watching her from several yards away. She stopped for a moment,
staring into his eyes, memorizing the planes of his face before giving him
a slight nod and walking away.

* * * * * *

Twenty minutes later, Spike’s thoughts were still on Buffy as he said his
good-byes. He needed to talk to her, he knew that, but he was being a
coward. He had to tell her he would be there for her and the baby.

“No time like the present,” he muttered to himself, walking toward his car.

A few minutes later, Spike pulled in front of the Summers house, getting out
of his car with a feeling of trepidation. Taking a deep breath, Spike
knocked on the door, feeling his heart drop into his stomach when Joyce
Summers opened it. Her teary eyes soon turned to anger as she looked at
him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Look, Mrs. Summers, I don’t know if it’s been explained to you-“

“That you got my daughter pregnant and I should have your ass thrown in
jail for statutory rape? Yes, it’s been explained.”

“I see,” Spike said quietly.

“So, I ask again- what are you doing here?”

“I need to see her,” Spike said quietly. “I need to talk to her and
explain-“

“She’s not here.”

“What do you mean she’s not here?” Spike asked, his voice taking on a panicked quality. “Where is she?”

“She doesn’t want you to know.”

“What?” he asked in disbelief.

“You’ve made your feelings about my daughter perfectly clear. She wants to
start fresh and she’s gone to do that.”

“She left town?” he asked in shock.

“Yes,” Joyce said quietly.

“But I…”

“I’ll tell her you stopped by,” Joyce said, her tone softening slightly.
“But don’t expect much.”

Spike felt short of breath as he slowly walked back to his car. He’d lost
her.

* * * * *

Buffy sat on the beach, staring out at the waves of the ocean. She’d been
on her way out of town. Her new car, a graduation gift from her father for
missing the ceremony, was all packed and ready to go, but Buffy had stopped,
needing to get her bearings on what she was doing. She needed to say
goodbye to a place that had been her home for so long.

Buffy slowly reached around her neck to unclasp the chain. Letting the
diamond eternity band fall into her hand, she stared at it for a long
moment. The last rays of the sunlight caught the diamonds, making it
sparkle as the sun continued to set.

‘A ring represents the endless devotion of one person to another,’ she
thought sadly. ‘How can endless devotion just…end?’

For a brief moment, Buffy considered throwing the symbol into the ocean.
Wanting the waves to swallow the evidence of their time together…except it
wouldn’t work. The evidence was in her belly. Spike left her with
something more tangible, even though he may not want it. She wanted it.
She needed this baby and that was all that mattered. A simple ring wasn’t
going to erase the past, whether she disposed of it or not. Slipping the ring
back onto the chain, she clasped it around her neck again. Not wanting to
think about why she was keeping it close to her heart.

With a sigh, Buffy watched as the final rays of the sun dipped below the
horizon, putting an end to one day, only to begin another. Buffy took a
deep breath, knowing that the same was true for her. The end of this life
was ending, but what she had to look forward to was a new beginning. One
that she would do everything in her power to make right. Her life was about to begin.





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