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Chapter 27


“So, how’d it go?” Gunn asked later that night as he watched Spike finish
his beer. “I’m guessing not too good, since you’re here with me instead of
curled up in a nice comfy bed with her.”

“It wasn’t exactly the way I had planned, Charlie-boy,” Spike replied
sullenly.

“I’m sure it didn’t go that bad.”

“She’s with someone else,” Spike muttered, staring into the bottle.

Gunn gave him a sympathetic look. “Man, that sucks.”

“Yeah,” Spike said softly.

“Is it serious?”

“They’ve been together for a year,” Spike replied. “That doubles the
relationship I had with her, so I’m guessing…yeah.”

“Does she love him?”

Spike finally raised his eyes to his friend. “Does it matter?”

“Is that a ‘no’?” Gunn asked with a smile.

Spike sighed, looking back to the bar. “She said she doesn’t believe in love
anymore.”

Spike’s eyes flew up to look at his friend when Gunn started laughing
uncontrollably.

“I didn’t think it was particularly funny, mate,” Spike spat out.

“Spike, my man, you are so clueless,” Gunn replied, controlling his
laughter. “How long were you with this girl?”

“Five months,” Spike responded skeptically.

“And this new guy has been in her life for a year?”

“Are you going to get to a point anytime tonight?”

“You said that she fell in love with you while you were together. Shouldn’t
she feel the same thing for a man she’s been with even longer?”

Spike’s brow furrowed as he tried to decipher what his friend was saying.
“She was young,” Spike muttered in response. “She was impressionable…she
didn’t know if she was in love with me.”

“She’s young now, Spike,” Gunn said with raised eyebrows. “That doesn’t
mean she can’t understand who she wants to be with. You share a child
together. You’ve been in love with her how long? And you’re just going to
give up? You’re going to let another guy have her? What happened to the guy
I knew who would fight for what he wants?”

“If she wanted to be with me-“

”She would what? Come running back to you with open arms? Spike, you told
me what happened. You broke up with her and then you rejected her. Do you
really expect her to risk coming back to you and getting hurt again? You’re
going to have to make the first move. Call the girl and talk to her.”

“And ask what?” Spike asked, losing his temper. He couldn’t control
anything about the situation and it was eating away at him.

“Ask her to meet you. Get her someplace that has a lot of memories for both
of you.”

“That would be my classroom in the high school,” Spike replied, finally
cracking a grin.

“Okay, that was way more information than I needed to know.”

Spike chuckled before responding. “Truthfully, it would be on my desk…lots
of good memories on that desk.”

“You’re killing me here, Spike,” Gunn replied, shaking his head before
reaching into his pocket and pulling out a cell phone. “It’s still
early…call her,” he insisted firmly.

Spike took a deep breath as he picked up the phone, staring at it for a long
moment before finally dialing her number. He gave Gunn a nod as he stood
up, walking out of the bar to get some more privacy.

“Hello?”

“Buffy.”

“Spike? Is something wrong?” Buffy asked nervously.

“Can I see you tonight?” he asked quietly.

“I…I don’t know, Spike.”

“Please, Buffy,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he leaned his head
against the brick wall. “Come by the house later.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” she whispered.

“I just want to talk about Michael.”

“What about him?”

“Please, Buffy,” he repeated, his voice taking on a needy quality that was
very unlike him. “I need to see you.”

Buffy stayed quiet for a moment, obviously thinking about it. “Okay,” she
said softly. “Give me an hour…I’ll be there.”

Spike breathed a sigh of relief as a smile briefly fluttered on his lips.
“Thank you, luv.

* * * * *

Buffy hung up the phone, feeling as if she was moving in slow motion. She
sat still for several long minutes, not sure why she felt so much anxiety at
the thought of seeing Spike again.

Buffy looked up, hearing the soft knock on the door of her bedroom.
“Honey,” Joyce said quietly as she opened the door for her. “Angel’s here
to see you.”

“And so my night is complete,” Buffy muttered, letting her head drop into
her hands. “Tell him I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay,” Joyce said quietly.

Buffy stared at herself in the mirror. She could see so many different
reflections looking back at her. The loving mother, the attentive
girlfriend, and somewhere, buried deep, was the girl who she had once been.
The girl who had stayed after school for a tutoring session and ended up
finding a man who she would hold in her heart forever…and who in turn, would hold her heart forever.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy stood up, walking down the stairs, gripping the
banister as she got to the bottom and saw Angel standing there with a
sheepish look on his face.

“Outside,” Buffy said softly, walking past him and out onto the front porch.

“I came by to apologize,” Angel said quietly as the door shut behind him.

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, closing herself off to the man in
front of her. “I guess I owe you one, too.”

“This is just a lot for me to deal with, Buffy.”

“I know,” Buffy replied, swallowing hard. “But it’s hard on me, too,” she
whispered with tears in her eyes. “And I really needed your support, and you
haven’t even…”

Angel took a step forward to comfort her, mildly surprised when she stepped
back.

“I think we need to spend some time apart,” she said softly, avoiding his
eyes.

“Buffy-“

“It’s for the best, Angel. I need some time.”

“Because of Spike?” Angel asked through gritted teeth.

“Because of a lot of things,” she whispered.

“Like what?”

“It’s just…Angel I don’t love you.”

“I know that,” he replied calmly.

“And if I never love you…you’re okay with that?”

This was the same conversation they’d had several months before, but things were much different now.

“I don’t know,” he replied truthfully.

Buffy took a deep breath. “You’ve been so good to me and Michael…and no matter what, you’re always welcome to see him, but…”

She trailed off, not knowing how to go about doing this.

Angel took a deep breath, obviously trying to control his temper as he
nodded.

Buffy felt tears spill down her cheeks as he turned and walked away. She
watched as he pulled out of the driveway before telling her mother that she
was leaving, as well. She decided to walk to Spike's, needing some time to
herself.





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