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chapter fifteen - a tear in reality

“Ouch!” muttered Fred as her shin smashed against something sharp in the darkness. Sliding her hand down her thigh, she rubbed the injured spot on her leg. She didn't feel anything moist. No blood, just sore. Real sore. Apparently, her little trip out of hell wasn't going to be that easy if she was surrounded by lots of pointy, jagged things, nipping away at her flesh. She lifted her arms and stretched them wide, reaching out into the blackness on either side, wiggling her fingers, searching. “Okay, then,” she sighed, pleased to find nothing. She turned to her left, and took three more steps.

“Damn!” A razor-sharp ridge scraped her other leg. “Two out of four doors closed,” she said quietly and took another left turn in the dark. Another three steps. Another curse. “I guess it's this way, or no way.” Her legs had taken enough of a beating, Fred decided, so she reached out with her hands again, turned left for the final time, and took a few very careful steps forward. “So far so good,” she whispered, her hands still leading the way. Two more steps. Still good.

“Fred.”

“Huh?!” she squealed, stunned by the sound of a familiar voice in the darkness. “Angel?”

“Yeah.”

“You can see me?”

"Actually, I heard you first. But yeah, I can see you now.”

“Okay…vampire, I forgot about that…,” she said absently, then added loudly, “What are you doing, here? And where in the hell is here, anyway?”

“I'll tell you in a minute. Just keep walking straight ahead. Don't turn left or right, just head straight to me,” Angel said calmly. “Follow my voice. That's right. Keep coming toward my voice.”

Fred took a few more steps and hesitated.

"Don't stop! Keep walking…to me!” he said sternly.

Three quick long strides later and she was in his arms.

“Wow, what was that all about?” She glanced over her shoulder to see the darkness she'd just walked out of closing shut with a fierce snap. She looked up into Angel's face. The phrase brooding brow didn't give his expression full justice. That brow, combined with the concern in his eyes and the tightness of his jaw, made her stomach drop.

“That close, huh?” she murmured.

“Could say that.”

They started walking arm in arm, away from the beast that had almost swallowed Fred, toward a precipice overlooking a giant chasm. She took a deep breath. They could have been looking into the Grand Canyon, except that the colors were off. Pink and purple rocks, white trees and a red river with what looked like orange waves. Not likely the Grand Canyon, concluded Fred.

“We're in the Zek dimension,” said Angel. “But not for long.” He moved closer to the edge of the cliff and peered down. “I need your help.”

“You know, I really am one of them,” Fred said, ignoring Angel's request for the moment and not wanting to ask how they got to Zek.

“Me too,” Angel replied blandly.

“I knew that.” A mixture of scents that reminded Fred of carnivals in Texas drifted to her. The sweetness of overly ripe fruit and fresh-spun cotton candy teased her nostrils as the air became dense with the sugary fragrances. For Charm, these odors were familiar and reminded her of the reason she was there.

“I'm looking for Spike,” said Fred. “He's not here, is he? He's at Wolfram and Hart? Right?”

“He is…and as I said before, I need your help, Fred.” Angel turned and placed his hand under her chin, raising her face to his. “We both need your help.”

“You think I can –,” she started. “I'm not that stable you know.”

“I believe in you.”

She smiled. “Okay, Angel, I understand what I need to do.”


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Moments later, Angel stood shoulders slumped and head down, in front of the entrance to hell. Stifling an angry laugh as he leaned against the entranceway to Lilith's kingdom, Angel wished he had forgotten her. “Lilith,” he whispered. It had been a long time.

He paused, sensing Buffy nearby. He had to focus. The fate of the world depended upon his keeping Buffy occupied long enough for Fred to do what had to be done.

“Angel?” queried Buffy as she took several slow, deliberate steps toward him.

“I guess you've finished baking,” he said.

“What?”

“Nothing…just thought of something you said once,” Angel rubbed his forehead with one hand, the other rested on his hip. He was going about this all wrong. He'd known what might happen between Spike and Buffy when he'd given Spike the ring. No point adding that pain to this madness, he decided. “We have to talk –.”

“No, you need to get out of my way!” Buffy interrupted, as Angel eyed the long steel sword that swiftly appeared from behind Buffy's back and now rested comfortably at her side.

“I can't let you go to Lilith,” Angel braced his body, becoming rigid in anticipation, as he prepared for the attack he expected to come. “You'll end the world if you do.”

The first strike of Buffy's sword caught him in his shoulder. He dropped to the ground, immediately using his good arm to catch his weight as his left leg snapped beneath her feet, dropping Buffy onto her butt. Almost immediately she jackknifed onto her feet in one smooth motion, her sword, surprisingly, still in hand. Angel ducked the next thrust and leaned forward, catching Buffy's left cheek with a smashing forearm before she had a chance to strike again. He didn't anticipate the next blow, though. Her free fist landed fully on his jaw, and an instant later she jumped from both feet, scissor kicking him full in the chest.

“Come on, Buffy! You've got to do better than that!” Angel had stumbled backwards but quickly regained his balance.

“I think I'm doing just fine,” she shouted as she spun and connected with another roundhouse kick, breaking at least two of Angel's ribs.

He grimaced. “Want to send me to hell, again, huh, Buffy?”

“What do you mean?” she hesitated.

“My first visit to this hell dimension was courtesy of Buffy Summers. You remember?” He paused, searching her eyes to make certain she understood. “That's where we are now, Acathla's hell dimension.”

“No, we're in the Zek dimension; I recognize it from m-my vision…when I was dying.”

“Same difference. Zeks, Acathla, L'Quaratong. Hell. It's all the same,” Angel took a step closer to Buffy. “Besides, I was here a thousand years. Believe me, I know this place.”

“Angel, please,” she pleaded. “This is not the time.” Buffy titled her head slightly. “...Acathla was a Zeklar demon?”

“No, Acathla was a Zeklar god, and yes, it is the time,” spat Angel bitterly. “Did you know that vampires can love without a soul, Buffy? Like Spike and Dru. They loved each other. They even loved me…in the beginning.”

“What?” Buffy said tightening her grip on the sword.

Angel shook his head. “I never cared about them. Not Spike. Not Dru. I guess I felt something for Darla. But there was nothing compared with the love I had for you, even when Angelus –“

“No,” said Buffy quickly. “Angelus couldn't love.” She was circling him now, holding the sword firmly in front of her.

“But I am Angelus. Just like I am Angel. Just like you are Buffy and Color and I am –,” he paused, changing his mind. “In Zek, Angel and Angelus co-existed as one entity. Together, we were strong, and ruled a million L'Quaratong Wiccans…with Lilith at our side." He looked down at Buffy's sword. "And we held the Zeklar armies at bay for nearly a thousand years."

Angel's voice dropped, his tone deep as he added, “You'll kill us all, if you go to her,”

“Part of me knows that…another part of me – Angel, I can't help myself.”

“Yes, you can.” Angel relaxed his body and stepped closer to her.

Buffy was no longer circling Angel. She stood completely still in front of him, staring, her mouth agape.

"You are Color and Buffy. You can hold us all together or tears us all apart.” He was pleading to Buffy. “Are you strong enough to save the world, Buffy? To kill the man you love?"

“Stop it, Angel, please stop. Why are you telling me this?" Buffy sounded panicky, her voice tinged with dread. "You want me to do this again? To put a sword through your heart and send you back to hell?"

"We're already in hell, Buffy. And I wasn't talking about me."

"Spike," she whispered.

“Yes, your lover,” Angel snarled. “You must kill him to save the world. Sound familiar?”

“No.” She shook her head, her eyes glazed over.

“He's Beauty, the sixth Wicca.”

“I know,” Buffy muttered, glaring at Angel. “I don't know how, but I know that…I also know there has to be another way.”

“No,” Angel replied. “There isn't.”

“What if I don't love him? What if I still love you?”

He laughed. "You do, and you don't love me...regardless, you still have to kill Spike to save the world."

"But Lilith wants me to come to her." The sword was dangling from Buffy's hand now.

"I can handle Lilith. You must go back to Wolfram and Hart and find Spike," Angel said. "It's your duty. You are the Slayer." Buffy looked at Angel, her eyes filled with tears. Then abruptly she turned, moving away from him. She took three more steps and disappeared.

That was too easy, Angel thought. Still, he couldn't be overly concerned, not now. She was gone, and headed back to Spike – not to Lilith – but to Spike, and Fred. That had to work for now.

Angel dropped his head into his hands. It was time to go back in time to where he'd hoped he'd never have to be again. Sure, he hadn't always been aware of this destiny. Not for the past five or more years since returning to Earth's dimension had he been consciously aware of Zek. Of course, he had to admit that he'd known – deep down – he'd known. Couldn't help but know that for his demon, hell was a destination that was always one step away.

Angel squared his shoulders and jumped feet first into the portal that led to the bottom of hell.


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Fred was standing in the middle of her lab at Wolfram and Hart. All of the dimension hopping and use of portals as routine modes of transportation was getting on her nerves. She really felt that a few days in a nice dark cave would do a world of good for her state of mind. That wasn't going to happen anytime soon, though. She had a job to do. Angel and Spike were counting on her. Even if she wasn't all in one place, so to speak, there was enough ‘Fred' in her to create one more multi-dimensional vortex. She was the queen of portals, even if she was the only one to say so. Sure, this was going to be her biggest challenge. But the math was in her head. She knew all of the equations. She understood the physics and all of the ingredients were in the lab, too. All except one. Spike. But he would do his part. She just had to be willing to do hers.

“I've got to find Spike before Buffy gets here,” Fred said aloud as she grabbed a few items and threw them in the duffle bag she pulled from under her desk.

Moments later, she was taking what felt like a last glance at the laboratory. Fred then looked down at the index finger of her left hand. The ring Angel had given her appeared to shine even though the room was dimly lit. He'd said it would help her later. He'd said it had a special magic. She wondered if it could make certain Spike would be safe. That was very important to her. She loved Spike, and had to try and save him.

"We all need help...all the help we can get," Fred said as she closed the laboratory door behind her.


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to be continued...





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