Chapter 17 – In a Heartbeat


“Spike!”

Immediately on his feet, Spike turned toward the door as Buffy ran through, stopping when the door slammed behind her.

“What are you doing here, Slayer?”

“I had to see you,” she said, panting lightly from her run. “I…I know what happened.”

“Bollocks,” Spike muttered, looking around the crypt for anything resembling alcohol. He wanted to be completely numb by the time Soldier Boy came looking to make good on his threat. “What do you know?”

“I know that Riley threatened you,” she said softly, taking a few more steps into the crypt. “I know that he told you to stay away from me. And I know that he doesn’t care about me.”

Spike finally looked up into Buffy’s eyes, seeing the emotions swirling around in them. The pain, the hurt, the betrayal. Her eyes had never been so expressive, and it was more than a little unnerving to him. The Slayer had always been very closed off, and he realized that now, when she had been stripped of one of her most basic senses, she was opening up in ways he didn’t even think she was aware of.

“He cares about you, luv,” Spike said with a heavy sigh. He hated defending the wanker, but in Riley’s twisted, black and white version of good and evil, he knew that he really did care about Buffy. He obviously cared enough to want to be with her at all costs when he felt the relationship was threatened, even if it wasn’t for the best reasons and his actions could have cost the Slayer her life.

“How do you know?” Buffy asked, feeling the full effects of what Riley had done now that she was able to slow down enough to think.

“He’d be a bloody fool not to,” Spike replied, looking directly into her eyes.

Buffy felt the warmth spread through her when the comforting resonance of his voice broke through the fog and entered her subconscious.

Noticing her shoulders slump, Spike tilted his head to look at her. Buffy smiled when she finally raised her eyes to look at him again. “I can hear you,” she whispered, relief evident in her voice. “It’s just…I missed that.”

Spike watched as tears came to her eyes before she hurriedly blinked them away.

“I don’t want to stop patrolling with you, Spike.”

“Look, pet, I don’t think it’s such a good idea, considering-“

“I broke up with Riley.”

“Bugger,” Spike muttered, biting his bottom lip as he looked down. Captain Cardboard was definitely going to have it in for him now.

“He doesn’t even care enough about my well-being to trust me around…to, um…to trust my strength,” Buffy said softly, looking away when she realized what she’d almost said. Why would he be worried about trusting her around Spike? It’s not like she thought of him in a sexual way. It’s not like she looked at the lean torso that was both hidden and enhanced by the tight black t-shirt he wore. It’s not like she studied the hard lines of his body- his broad shoulders, his slim waist, leading even lower to…

Spike’s head nearly snapped up when he caught the scent of her arousal filling the room. Quickly looking away before she realized what he was thinking and ran out with her virtue fluttering, Spike hid the smile on his face as he turned around, pretending to want something to drink and desperately wishing that he knew what she was thinking.

“So the connection isn’t gone?” he asked with his back to her, deciding to change the subject and test his theory at the same time.

“If you mean, can I still hear you when you’re not facing me, I think I just answered that.”

Spike turned around with a smirk, crossing his arms and smiling when she nervously licked her lips, her eyes traveling over the exposed muscles of his forearms and biceps. Oh yeah, he knew what she’d been thinking of.

“We never have really talked about that,” he said with a grin. “I’m surprised your Watcher hasn’t been researching it in every spare second.”

“Who says he hasn’t?” Buffy replied with a shrug. “I’m not exactly in the loop anymore.”

Spike frowned at the despondent tone of voice. “You’re the Slayer,” Spike replied in confusion.

“Thanks for telling me. I never would have figured that one out without you.”

“Careful now, Slayer. It would seem I’m the only friend you’ve got.”

“Is that what you are?” Buffy asked quietly. “A friend?”

“Is that what you want me to be?” Spike countered, watching her carefully.

‘What do I want him to be?’ she wondered silently.

“I want someone I can count on,” Buffy said softly, raising her eyes to his.

“Then that’s what you’ve got,” he replied honestly.

“So what do you want me to be?” she asked, insecurity creeping into her voice. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to know the answer to that question.

“What do I want you to be?” Spike repeated, opening his mouth to answer before he snapped it shut as a word echoed through his head. ‘Mine.'

Shaking his head to clear it, Spike looked into the wide hazel eyes of the young woman in front of him. “Would it be redundant to say the same thing back to you?” he asked with a smile, trying to cover up what he was thinking.

Staring at him for a long moment, Buffy closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his lean waist. She needed the reassurance of this moment. She needed to forget the flashing neon signs over their heads that screamed ‘Mortal Enemies.’ She needed to be a girl taking comfort in a man she considered to be a friend.

Spike’s arms wrapped around her waist in surprise. He could have sworn he felt his heart begin beating at her close proximity when he realized that it was hers. The soft thudding against his chest reverberated to him, creating an echo inside him that made him feel alive. Swallowing the gasp of surprise, his arms tightened around her as he let his eyes close, enjoying the feel of her in his arms.

Resisting the urge to brush a kiss to the top of her head, Spike lowered his head, preparing to say something to her, even though he didn’t know what to say.

Opening his mouth, his eyes snapped open when he realized what he was preparing to say- ‘I love you.’ Gulping back the fear that welled up inside of him, Spike slowly pulled away from her. He didn’t want to love. He didn’t want to love the Slayer of all people, but looking into her eyes, he knew it was inevitable. Distancing himself from her, Spike took an unneeded breath, avoiding her strong gaze.

“Do you want to patrol?” she asked quietly.

“Sounds good,” he replied, trying to keep his voice normal and cringing when it was much higher than he was used to. Yep, he was in trouble now.





Thanks so much to: shippy, Seraiza, prophecygirl, Kar, Rana, Rachel, vampkiss, Bridget, Mari, Crystal Pegasus, Alicia, Mariana, Isabel, Pin, Pari, Franchesca, Jenn, Darla, Kate, samica, gattaca, Raven, Dee, blondiebear, Cordykitten, Steph & BuffyandSpikeForever for reviewing!!





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