Chapter 38 – Tough Love


Both men stared at the door for several long moments after Buffy walked through it, each trying to ignore the presence of the other man in the room.

“Did you do something to her?” Angel asked in a low voice, never looking at his grandchilde.

“What?” Spike replied through clenched teeth, looking at the other man.

“I want the truth.”

“No! I didn’t do a bloody thing to her! I was her friend. I was there for her when no one else was.”

“You claimed her…didn’t you?” Angel asked, finally making eye contact with Spike.

“I never did anything that she didn’t want me to do."

Physically restraining himself from hitting the other man, Angel took an unneeded breath.

Both stayed quiet for a moment before Angel finally sighed in defeat. “Do you know where she’s going?”

“My guess,” Spike said miserably. “Back to your hotel.”

“Why do you think that?” Angel asked, looking back at the door.

“Because,” he replied with a sigh. “It’s the one place she thinks that I won’t look for her.”

Chuckling to himself, Angel nodded. “That sounds about right.” Seeing the heartbroken look on Spike’s face, he finally relented. “Give me a few hours. I’ll talk to her…come by before sunrise.”

Looking at his grandsire in surprise, Spike’s brow knit together. “You’re helping me?” he asked skeptically.

“No,” Angel replied, shaking his head. “I’m helping her.”

“Fair enough,” Spike muttered. “Oh, I almost forgot…”

Slamming his fist into the other man’s jaw, a smile of satisfaction came over his face as Angel’s hand flew up to pop his jaw back into place.

“What the hell was that for?” he yelled, ready to attack the blonde.

“No one hurts my girl and gets away with it.”




Knowing that Buffy was in the basement working off her tension, in spite of the damage to her arm, Angel decided to leave her alone for most of the night, not wanting to be on the receiving end of one of her tantrums or worse…one of her punches.

Realizing that the sun would be rising in less than an hour, he slowly made his way down the stairs, seeing Buffy stretching on one of the mats.

“Hi,” he said softly as he sat down.

“Hey,” she whispered, not making eye contact with him as she rolled her shoulders, wincing at the pain in her arm.

“I don’t like him,” he said, deciding to jump right into the conversation, noticing that Buffy’s posture went rigid at the vague mention of Spike. “I doubt I ever will,” he continued. “But…when he loves someone, he doesn’t let go. And if he says he loves you…if he’s claimed you…he loves you.”

“And because of that…he must love Drusilla in the same way.”

“Buffy, I love…I’ve loved you. Trust me when I say that loving you compares to nothing else that I’ve felt in over two hundred years.”

Silent tears fell from Buffy’s eyes as she tried to quickly wipe them away. “But you’re not Spike,” she whispered. “I just…I don’t know how he feels about her and…”

“Everything will be fine,” Angel said, standing up and affectionately running his hand over her silky hair.

“I’m going to get some sleep. I think I’ve got some groveling to look forward to tomorrow night and I’ll need all the rest I can get.”

Offering him a weak smile, Buffy stared straight ahead for several minutes after Angel had gone. Taking a deep breath to get her emotions under control, she finally stood and stretched her arms a little bit as she walked toward the punching bag, ignoring the twinge of pain as her bandaged arm protested. She had too much nervous energy to sit still and she was willing to live with a little bit of pain.

Tensing up slightly when she felt his presence after a few minutes, Buffy didn’t bother to turn around. Knowing that he was approaching, her back stiffened even more and she practically attacked the bag, fighting every impulse inside of her that was telling her to turn around and take out her frustration on the source.

“I don’t know if that’s good for the baby, luv,” Spike said quietly after a moment. He was merely testing the waters since he already knew that she was aware of him.

Never stopping her assault on the punching bag, Buffy finally spoke to him in a strained voice, “Mystical pregnancy, remember? Poison obviously isn’t supposed to hurt it, so I’m thinking a little physical exertion is fine.”

“And what about your arm?” he murmured.

“It’s fine,” she replied in a low voice, adding an extra kick to the bag for good measure.

Sitting down on a nearby bench, Spike clasped his hands in front of him as he watched her move, never getting tired of seeing her in her semi-natural element. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, noticing that she didn’t even pause in her movements.

“Me too,” she replied flippantly, making it perfectly clear that she was sorry for what he’d put her through and she wasn’t sorry for asking him to stake his sire.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Spike said, studying her every movement.

“I doubt that.”

“You’re thinking that if Angel was able to stake his sire twice, why couldn’t I?”

“No,” she said through gritted teeth, finally turning around to face him before tearing her eyes away and walking toward the stairs, angrily ripping the tape off her hands and throwing it on the floor. “I’m thinking…that because I love you so damn much, I wish they would have killed me. At least then it would be easier than having to live with this feeling that I will never be able to measure up to her!”

Spike sat in stunned silence, trying to wrap his mind around everything Buffy had just told him. The ‘I love you’ was practically burning through him before he realized everything else she’d said. Easily catching up to her, Spike grabbed her arm to spin her around, noticing the tears that were streaming down her face. “There is no ‘measuring up’,” he reassured her quietly, pulling her against his chest as she began to sob. “I can live without her. I’ve done fine for years. But if anything happened to you…I would have to stake myself because I can’t bear the thought of being without you.”

Closing his eyes as he held her and gently stroked her hair, Spike let a low rumbling reverberate through his chest. He was trying to do everything he could to settle the distraught woman in his arms.

“I love you,” he whispered, feeling her shoulders gently shake with the soft admission as she buried her head even further into his chest.

He felt tears burn his eyes as he listened to her sobs before barely making out the whisper, “I love you, Spike.”

“I’m so sorry, Buffy,” he whispered. “I never wanted to put you through that. You mean everything to me…I just wish I could go back and prove how much I love you.” Pulling back to look at her, Spike tenderly ran his hand along her cheek. “If she ever shows her face near me, she’s dust.”

“You mean it?” she murmured, unable to believe what he was telling her.

Kissing her forehead, Spike back away to look at her. “No one hurts my girl and gets away with it.”





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