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Chapter 40 – Cost of a Choice


A/N Some of this dialogue belongs to Mere Smith and Joss Whedon- I’m simply borrowing it.



6 Months Later


“What are you doing?” Buffy asked, looking down at Spike’s head as he pressed his ear to her swollen abdomen.

“What does it look like?” he retorted, looking up at her with a smile as she affectionately ruffled his hair.

“Can you hear the baby?” she asked, giving him such a tender look that he could have sworn he felt his heart beating.

“I can,” he murmured, sitting up to tuck a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. “She’s moving a lot.”

“We don’t know if it’s a girl, Spike,” Buffy said.

Spike merely shrugged. “My opinion. And she’s going to be just like her mum.”

Buffy smiled as she pushed herself to her feet and unconsciously placed her hands on her belly.

“Where are we going, luv?” Spike asked, standing with her, his brow furrowing in concern.

“I just need to stretch,” she said with a soft smile, rotating her arms and walking toward the door.

“Outside?” Spike asked skeptically, feeling a sense of déjà vu wash over him as an uneasy feeling crept up his spine.

“What’s wrong?”

“You said you wouldn’t patrol anymore,” he reminded her.

Buffy sighed, remembering how her mother and each one of her friends had repeatedly lectured her over the past few months, ever since they found out she was pregnant- and the initial shock had worn off.

“Did I say I was going to patrol?” Buffy asked, a little bit of irritation creeping into her voice before turning and walking up the stairs.

“Buffy…”

Turning around when she was halfway up, she saw Spike’s worried gaze as he followed her every step of the way. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I know I’m being irritable lately. I’m just going to go change and I’ll be right back down.”

Seeing the soft smile that graced his features before he turned back to the living room, Buffy sighed in contentment before turning around. Not paying enough attention, she gasped when her foot slipped on the hardwood, sending her flying backwards. She never even had time to realize what happened as everything went black.



“Buffy? Buffy!” Spike shouted, cradling her bruised body against his.

“I’m okay,” she said, pulling herself into a sitting position and frowning when she looked around her living room, still hearing Spike’s voice calling her name. “Spike?”

Turning around as she stood, Buffy gasped when she saw herself being held against the man she loved. Panic began to flow through her as she stared at her limp form before looking down and making sure that she was still attached to her body- in one form or another.

“Your heart’s beating,” she heard him murmur to himself as he listened intently to her. “And the baby’s is, too.”

Gently picking her up in his arms, Spike slowly moved her to the couch before running for the phone and pressing the button to dial her Watcher.

Seeing a shadow circle the room, she tried to make herself snap out of the shock she was in before gasping when a huge demon materialized in front of her.

Immediately throwing her fist into his face, Buffy groaned when her non-corporeal hand went right through him.

“I’m Skip,” he said, ignoring the punch and laughing when Buffy’s eyes widened in shock at his cordial nature.

“Who are you? What the hell is going on?!”

“You have questions. I get that. And I'll answer them, too, but first we got to get out of here.”

“But why? Here is good. I feel really comfortable here. I-I like here.”

“But you see, there is a slight problem- you don't belong here anymore.”

“Am I dead?” Buffy asked in apprehension.

“Not yet,” he replied. “But you will be very soon…unless you come with me.”

Glancing at Spike and seeing him reassuring Giles on the phone that there was no sign of damage, aside from her being unconscious, Buffy hesitantly turned back to the demon.

“I don't wanna die,” she whispered.

“So don't.”

Swallowing her doubts, Buffy took his hand, gasping when the world seemed to spin before they ended up at the very empty Bronze.

“What are we doing here?” she asked, looking around the area and seeing a television set up in the corner.

Following Skip as he walked toward it, Buffy frowned when she saw a pregnant Darla lying in an alley with Angel holding her hand. Their lips moved, but no sound could be heard.

“What is this?” Buffy asked, looking at the demon.

“This is the way it should have been…that was the baby that’s meant to be born.”

“What do you want me to do about it?” she asked, shrugging her shoulders and trying not to show how nervous she was with the unfamiliar situation.

“We want you to make it right. We want to start over.”

“Start over?”

“Correct things that should never have taken place.”

“Like what?” Buffy asked skeptically.

“You weren’t supposed to lose your hearing,” he said plainly.

“And why are you telling me this? Can’t the Powers that Whatever just fold the fabric of time and send me back if that’s the way it’s supposed to be?”

“They can. But it has to be your request.”

“What changes?” she asked, wanting to hear what he had to say, knowing that it would be impossible for her to let go of this life. “What’s in the other ‘reality’ that needs to happen?”

“I can’t tell you,” Skip replied, shaking his head.

“So show me,” she replied, gesturing toward the TV. “You expect me to just go along with this without having any idea what I’m going up against? I don’t think so.”

With a sigh, Skip turned toward the monitor, snapping his fingers and letting the image of a pretty brunette eating Jell-O take up the screen. “You would get a sister,” he said vaguely as Buffy watched the girl speaking with her in what must have been an alternate reality.

“I would get a sister?” Buffy asked in disbelief.

“A girl who you were meant to protect.”

Buffy folded her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes. “And why would this take place in a ‘different’ reality and not take place in this one?”

“Because you weren’t strong enough to protect her in this one. You were vulnerable at the time that she was meant to be brought to you. She was turned into something else in this reality, but she was formerly a ball of energy for you to protect or else it would cause the end of the world.”

“And apparently she’s fine, ‘cause hey, no apocalypse. What else would change?”

“Just…little things,” he said vaguely.

“And why do I not believe you?” Buffy asked, her jaw tightening. “What do I lose?”

“Why do you think you’d lose something?”

“I’m not making a decision until I know exactly what I’m walking into,” she said, looking back at the screen and frowning when she saw her mother lying in a hospital bed as she and her ‘sister’ sat beside her, talking and obviously trying to be cheerful.

Looking around in confusion, Buffy focused her gaze back on the demon.
“What’s going on?” she asked. “Mom’s sick? If she is, why wouldn’t she be sick now?”

Quickly snapping his fingers to erase the images that she wasn’t supposed to see, Skip could tell the Slayer wasn’t going to back down. “Because the energy that was used to ‘create’ your sister, would have affected her in a not-so-positive way,” he mumbled in a low voice.

“So let me get this straight,” Buffy said slowly. “I would get a ball of energy as my sister, my mother would be sick and I wouldn’t be having this baby?”

“No. That prophecy would be designed for a different Slayer. You’re not meant to have this baby, and if you continue this pregnancy to full term, you’ll die.”

“Apparently this baby is meant for me,” she snapped, choosing to ignore his last statement for the time being. “Considering the baby is inside me right now.”

“You have to realize that because of the temporal shift, the ‘imbalance’ if you will, things were put in place that shouldn’t have been.”

“I wouldn’t be with Spike,” she murmured in comprehension, raising an eyebrow.

“I can’t tell you that. It could very well be what happens.”

“But not in the relationship that I have now,” Buffy said with an understanding nod. “I don’t have to be a genius to figure it out. I’d find out that he loves me and I’d use him. I remember my exact feelings toward him before I lost my hearing. So my answer is no.”

“Did you not hear what I just said?” Skip asked in confusion. “If you keep this baby, you’re going to die.”

“I’m going to die anyway,” Buffy said with a resigned smile as she shook her head. “At least this way, my death will have a purpose. I’m not going to give up whatever precious time that I have with the man I love to go back and be the person I was supposed to be. I like the person that I am now. I have a purpose. I have a child who means more to me than anything and I will not trade this baby for any promises that you might want to give me.”

“I respect what you're trying to do. It's noble and heroic, and all that other Russell Crowe 'Gladiator' crap.”

“You've seen…”

“Didn't love it. The fact remains that you’re not strong enough to have this baby! Period. I can’t change that.”

“Then don’t,” she replied quietly. “I know my purpose in this world and it includes this baby. My answer is no.”

Skip sighed, looking at the stubborn Slayer for a long moment. “It was an honor being your guide, Buffy Summers.”

Buffy gasped when a blue light seemed to explode around her before she bolted upright, looking around frantically and seeing that she was sitting on her couch.

“Buffy!”

Feeling herself enveloped in a strong embrace, she clutched at Spike as if he were her lifeline.

“Are you okay?” he asked, pulling away to look at her, his hands cupping her cheeks as he stared at her.

“I’m fine,” she said, offering him a weak smile.

“Giles is on his way. I…I didn’t know what to do,” he said in a choked voice.

“Spike, I’m okay,” she whispered, pressing a tender kiss to his lips and fighting the tears that were burning her eyes. Now was not the time to tell him about the newest revelation in her life.



A/N In spite of the obvious angsty premise, I promise that there will be minimal angst.


Thanks so much to: spufette, Kimber, Isabel, Laine, gypsy_jin, dusty273, Seraiza, Cordykitten, Rana, Kate, Alicia, Jenn, Crystal Pegasus, Franchesca, Sevvy_O, Spikes Eternal Lover, Bridget, Steph, Bernardette, Caitie, gattaca, Reciprocity, pj, BuffyandSpikeForever, blondiebear & songgal1 for reviewing!





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