Chapter 41 – Breaking the News


Buffy sat at the dining room table, wringing her hands together as she nervously looked from her mother to Giles and finally Spike. The shock and disbelief was plainly visible on all of their faces, and Buffy was suddenly feeling guilty for not keeping this little bit of news to herself. These people were her family and she didn’t expect them to take the news of her impending death lightly, but the silence that hung in the air was making her more uneasy.

“No,” Spike finally said, standing up and angrily shoving his chair away before walking to the window and staring blankly outside. She could hear the emotion coating the single word and another piece of her heart felt like it was being chipped away as she watched the man she loved.

Slowly getting up from the table, Buffy walked over to the blonde and gently ran her hand along his back, doing what she could to soothe him.

“Spike?” she whispered, wishing that he would turn around and face her.

“I just got you, Buffy,” he said in such a soft voice she almost didn’t hear him, never tearing his eyes away from the view of her front yard. “I can’t lose you now…not when…”

Hearing the tears in his voice, Buffy left her hand gently resting on his back before she turned around when she heard her mother’s voice.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Joyce asked tearfully.

“I know this isn’t the news you were expecting, but this baby is so important. I need your help getting through this,” she whispered in a choked voice. Seeing the tears streaming down her mother’s cheeks and Giles hiding his watery eyes all while feeling Spike’s pain was nearly her undoing.

“No, you don’t,” Spike said, turning around to see the shocked face of the woman he loved.

“What?”

“You’re not dying, Slayer,” he said with a hard edge to his voice that left little room for argument.

“Spike-”

“Don’t you remember what the green guy said?” he asked in exasperation, recalling their visit to Los Angeles several months ago.

“Lorne?”

“He said not to trust anyone toward the end.”

“He said not to take someone’s advice,” Buffy replied gently, running her hand along his cheek. “I didn’t. I’m still here. I chose death over being able to live everything again and I think it’s the right decision.”

“No, it bloody well isn’t!” Spike shouted, angrily swatting her hand away and vaguely noticing her Watcher and mother standing up as he advanced on Buffy, his emotions overwrought and taking control. “This wasn’t just your decision to make! There are other people, other factors to consider,” he said through clenched teeth, gesturing toward Giles and Joyce. “Did you not think of what losing you would do to us? Your friends, your family…me?” he finished in a soft whisper, his eyes reflecting the amount of pain he was feeling.

“Spike,” she said softly, trying to get through to him. “If the decision belonged to everyone, the demon wouldn’t have expelled me from my own body to try and make a deal with me. He would have involved the people I love.”

“Not if he’s trying to trick you!”

“If he was, I didn’t fall for it,” she said gently, looking directly into his eyes.

“Spike,” Giles finally spoke up, slowly approaching the grief-stricken vampire. “We need to calm down and think rationally about this.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Spike asked, spinning around angrily to face Giles. “Am I supposed to choose between my child and the woman I love?”

“No,” Buffy said quietly, causing his eyes to immediately settle on her. Seeing Giles gently take Joyce by the arm and quietly slip out of the room, she continued, “Because it’s not your decision.”

“Buffy-”

“Spike, I love you,” she whispered, her voice shaking as more tears came to her eyes, letting her hand caress his cheek. “I will always love you. But this is what I have to do.”

“No,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “No, it’s not. It’s madness. They can’t expect you to willingly sacrifice yourself so this baby can be born.”

“But I am,” she said softly. “They can expect it because it’s what I’m doing. Spike, if my death means that our baby can be born and live to save the world…then I’m dying for the best possible cause.”

“I can’t lose you,” he whispered.

“We knew this would happen,” she said, trying to control her tears. “It’s just a little faster than we expected. But you’ll go on…you’ll live.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head as tears streamed down his cheeks. “I won’t. I can’t, not without you.”

“You will,” she whispered, taking his hand in hers. “You have to protect our child. You have to protect her…I need you to live on. I need you to make sure she’s safe…you have to.”

Wrapping his arms around her, Spike clung to the woman he loved as a choked sob was ripped from his throat. For the first time since her pregnancy, he took little care with her, holding on with such force that Buffy could feel the desperation he was feeling seep into her.

“I love you so much,” she murmured, feeling her own tears spill over as her hand ran along the soft hair at the back of his neck, trying to relax him as much as she could. “You have to be strong for me, Spike…will you do that for me?”

Pulling away to look at her with glistening eyes, Spike nodded. “I will,” he whispered, running his hands along her face and arms, reassuring himself that she was still there. That she wasn’t gone. “I love you.”

Resting her forehead against his, Buffy sighed, closing her eyes and reveling in the few precious moments of contentment they were allowed to share.

“You said ‘her’,” he said softly after a moment, causing Buffy to look at him with a look of curiosity.

“What?”

“The baby…you said ‘her’.”

Snuggling into his arms again, she smiled. “I figured it has to be a girl…you’re so adamant about it that I’m sure you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She could practically feel Spike smile as he nodded. “I always get what I want,” he said softly, sighing when Buffy pulled him even closer.






Thanks so much to: Isabel, Seraiza, ebontier, Bernardette, Kimber, Rana, Kate, spuffette, Ana04, Jessica, Franchesca, gypsy_jin, Cordykitten, Bridget, Reciprocity, jenny, Spikes Eternal Lover, Alicia, Caitie, Sevvy_O, Crystal Pegasus, blondiebear, skywolf_fem2, pj, ilpopi & Laine for reviewing!





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