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Chapter 9 – Helpless


Spike quietly shut the door behind him when he entered the training room. Not that it mattered since he could slam it and it wouldn’t have affected her. He saw Buffy sitting on the pommel horse, letting her legs swing lightly as she looked down at her hands. He patiently waited by the door until she noticed him, not wanting to scare her.

“Don’t hover by the door, Spike. Come on in.”

He had to smile at the fact that she didn’t even need to look up to know that it was him. Spike slowly walked across the room until he was standing in front of her. Buffy calmly raised her eyes to his, and Spike felt his heart clench at the unshed tears that were glistening in her eyes.

“How’re you holdin’ up, Slayer?” Spike asked, letting his hand come up without thinking and gently caressing her cheek.

Buffy unconsciously closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. His cool fingers ghosted over her skin until she was practically trembling at his touch.

Opening her eyes after a moment, she felt herself relax even more when she looked into his eyes and saw nothing but compassion and concern. “Do you want the truth or the answer that they want?” she asked, gesturing to her unseen friends on the other side of the closed door.

“Why don’t we give the truth a shot,” he replied with a gentle smile as he reluctantly pulled his hand away and sat down next to her.

“I hate this,” Buffy whispered, looking down at the floor as she battled tears. “I hate that everyone looks at me like I’m going to crack under the pressure. I hate feeling helpless.”

Buffy gasped when she suddenly felt herself propelled backwards, landing with a thud on the mats and pinned down by a fully vamped out and snarling Spike. Kicking him off of her, she felt her heart race as she straddled him, one hand on his throat to hold him in place, the other on his chest.

Spike’s human face fell back into place as he looked at her. Panting heavily from the surprise of the moment, Buffy looked at him as if she’d been betrayed.

“What the hell was that?” she asked, her eyes filled with pain that the one person she thought she could trust had turned on her.

Spike calmly extracted her hand from around his throat and slowly brought it to his lips, leaving a tender kiss on the palm. “You’re not helpless.”

Buffy’s lips parted in comprehension as she looked into his eyes, seeing what he was trying to do. Taking several deep breaths, she gave him a soft smile. “You’re sneaky.”

“Vampire,” he said as an explanation.

“Sneaky vampire,” she said with a smile that Spike returned.

The mood noticeably changed as their smiles faded. Buffy’s hand began tingling where it was still resting on Spike’s chest. She could feel the hard muscles beneath her fingertips and sat up, subtly dragging her hand down his chest and along his abs.

Spike’s eyes widened as she moved, feeling the familiar stirring in his groin when her body brushed against it. He hurriedly sat up, nearly pushing Buffy off of him while he climbed to his feet.

A curious look crossed her features, but she didn’t push the issue. At this point, she was more eager to understand what was mentally going on between them. If there was something physical happening, it would have to wait…and Buffy wasn’t sure if she was ready to admit that there was something physically.

“Spike-“

Buffy was cut off when Spike gently touched her arm and gestured to the door. She turned around and saw Giles looking frantic as he jogged toward her.

“It’s Riley…he’s collapsed.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open as she looked back and forth between the two men before she turned and ran out of the room.



Spike waited with the rest of the Scoobies in the waiting room of Sunnydale General. He didn’t really care what happened to Captain Cardboard, but he knew that Buffy wanted him there. She hadn’t asked him, but…he knew it.

Spike hadn’t seen Buffy since she’d disappeared with Giles in tow a few hours before, but he wanted to wait as long as possible, hoping to see that she was holding up alright.

Sitting next to the window, he knew he would have to leave soon. The sun was about to rise, and he definitely didn’t want to be on the receiving end of it.

“Riley’s going to be okay.”

Spike’s head snapped around when he heard Buffy’s voice. She was standing next to Giles, and she looked exhausted. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and her shoulders were tense. Spike wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and offer whatever comfort she would take, but he knew that it wouldn’t be a wise idea with her friends practically standing guard around her. They had ignored Spike over the past few hours, but that didn’t mean they had all accepted him.

“Giles was able to get through to the Initiative and they sent a doctor…he had surgery and he’s going to be fine.”

Spike slipped out of the room as her friends enveloped Buffy in a group hug.

Lighting a cigarette before he was even out of the hospital, he took comfort in the nicotine that flowed through his dead lungs.

“Spike!”

Turning around at the sound of her voice, Spike frowned when he saw her running towards him.

“What’s wrong, Slayer?”

Instead of answering, Buffy ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him to her for a warm hug.

“Thank you for being here,” she whispered into his leather-clad shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist.

Breathing in her scent, Spike’s eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of holding her close.

“I know you don’t like Riley, but thank you for staying.”

Reluctantly, Spike pulled away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he gave her a soft smile. “Anytime you need me, Slayer, you know where to find me.”

Buffy smiled, looking downward as a faint blush came across her cheeks. “We do need to figure out what’s happening,” she whispered.

“I know.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to his after he spoke. “How are you doing that?”

“Like you said, pet,” he replied with another smile. “We’ll figure it out.”





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