Buffy nervously knocked on Spike’s door later that night, offering a soft smile when he answered. “Hi,” she said quietly.

“Hello, pet,” Spike murmured, opening the door for her. Buffy walked in, feeling the awkwardness settle over her as she protectively crossed her arms over her chest.

“Where’s Dawnie?” she asked, looking around the apartment.

“Janice’s.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped up to Spike’s as he slowly walked toward her as he took her hand in his. “Stay,” he whispered. Buffy’s heart swelled as her eyes widened, looking up at him. “Stay the night,” he continued. Buffy felt herself crash back down to earth.

‘You didn’t really think he was asking you to stay, did you?’ she thought to herself.

“And that’s all?” Buffy asked, almost sadly.

Spike slowly pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair as her arms wrapped around him. “I just want to hold you tonight.”

‘I’ll make her realize she can’t leave,’ Spike thought. ‘I’ll make her want to stay…show her how much love is here.’

Buffy nodded, her eyes filling with tears from the different emotions coursing through her. “I’d like that,” she murmured.

***

Spike woke up the next morning, searching for the warm body next to him. His eyes snapped open when he felt the cool satin fabric of the sheets beneath his fingertips.

Sitting straight up in bed, Spike’s eyes narrowed on the note that was left on the pillow. With a trembling hand, he picked it up, terrified at what it could hold.

Dear Spike,
I didn’t want to wake you, but I had to get back and finish packing. Please bring Dawnie by, before I leave. I need to say good-bye to her…to both of you. Last night was amazing, Spike. Thank you for giving me something so perfect, I’ll treasure it forever. I’ll miss you both so much, words cannot express. Please don’t be angry for me leaving you with a note again, I do want to say good-bye in person.
Love Always,
Buffy

Spike closed his eyes as his heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. She was really leaving and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop her.

***

Two hours later, Buffy tearfully hugged her parents good-bye. She had already been to visit all of her friends so everyone wouldn’t be crowded in their house, causing an even more emotional scene.

Spike was currently outside, smoking his fifth cigarette of the hour. He had been avoiding Buffy since he and Dawn had arrived and Buffy had a feeling that he didn’t like waking up alone.

Buffy took a deep breath, before bending down to hug her daughter. Tears were already spilling down both their cheeks as they held each other.

“Why are you going, Mommy?” Dawn asked in a soft voice.

Buffy looked up, meeting Spike’s eyes as he walked through the front door. “I have to go, baby,” she whispered, looking into Spike’s eyes as she spoke to Dawn.

“When are you coming back?”

Buffy turned her gaze back to her daughter. “I’ll be here for Thanksgiving, okay?”

Dawn nodded sadly as Buffy gave her a watery smile, tilting her chin. “Hey,” she said gently. “I’ll just be a phone call away.”

Buffy’s eyes, again, rose to Spike, feeling her heart beat faster as he stared at her with intensity. “Can I get another hug?” Buffy asked as Dawn practically threw herself in her mother’s arms.

After the shortest moment of her life, Buffy realized it was time for her to leave.

“You’re sure you don’t want us to go with you to the airport?” Joyce asked, picking up Dawn as Buffy moved toward the door.

“And go through this again?” Buffy asked with a sad smile. “I don’t think I could handle that.”

Saying good-bye to everyone, once again, Buffy finally turned to Spike. “Can we go outside?”

Spike nodded, as Buffy gave a final wave to everyone in the room. Pulling the door closed
behind them, Spike turned to Buffy, waiting for her to say something.

“Look, Spike, I don’t know how you felt last night, but-“

“Terrified,” he murmured, looking down at the ground.

“Of what?” she asked, tilting her head to study him.

“Last night was...God, I’m such a jerk. I can’t do this,” he said, raising his eyes to the sky as he held back tears.

“Spike.”

“It was the best night of my life,” he whispered. “I don’t know what it meant to you-“

“Yes, you do,” Buffy replied, making eye contact with him.

Spike sighed shaking his head. “Yeah…I hear you say it, but…it just doesn’t feel like it was real. Last night, all I did was…hold you, watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life. So, yeah…I’m…terrified.”

“You don’t have to be,” she murmured.

Spike tilted his head, studying her. “So what’s that mean?”

“I don’t know…does it have to mean anything?” she asked with hope in her voice.

“No,” Spike said, taking a step back and shaking his head. “Not right now.”

Buffy felt her heart sink again, as she nodded. “I better go,” she whispered.

Spike reached out, pulling her to him for a long hug, both letting tears slip free as they held onto each other. Buffy pulled away first, looking up into his eyes and offering a slight smile.

Spike let his lips brush over hers in a tender kiss. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered.

“I’ll miss everything,” Buffy replied.

***

Joyce walked outside, seeing Spike sitting on the front step, smoking a cigarette. “So she left?”

“She didn’t want to stay,” he muttered.

“Did you ask her that?”

“I didn’t have to.”

Joyce sighed, shaking her head as she sat down next to a man she always hoped would be her son-in-law. “Spike, let me tell you something that I’ve noticed about your relationship with my daughter. “You’re both stubborn, willful, and pigheaded.”

Spike smiled slightly as he nodded. “You’re right about that.”

“And you have no idea how to communicate with each other,” she finished as Spike’s eyes raised to hers.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying you love my daughter and she loves you. You have a child together, Spike. She wants to stay, she just needs a reason.”

“I’ve given her a reason,” Spike cried, standing up and pacing around the yard before gesturing to the house. “Her reason is inside that house, crying her bloody eyes out because her mother’s gone…again!”

“And why is she gone?”

“Because she didn’t want to stay!” Spike yelled.

“And why didn’t she want to stay?”

“Because I didn’t…”

Spike trailed off as his eyes widened. “I didn’t ask her,” he murmured, feeling short of breath. “She thinks I want her to leave.”

“You can’t let her make the same mistakes, Spike.”

Without another word, Spike turned around and ran for his car.

Joyce smiled after him. “You belong together.”





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