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Chapter 3



Work was pure torture for Spike that afternoon. Between several horrible customers and thoughts of Buffy swirling in his brain, Spike was more than ready, after six hours, to go pick up Dawn from school. ‘What do I tell her? Do I even tell her anything?’ he asked himself, tapping his fingers along to the beat of a song that was playing on the radio. ‘How do I tell her?’

As he waited for Dawn to walk out of the building, his thoughts drifted back to Buffy. It was only a few hours ago when she had been standing in his apartment. It wasn’t long after he admitted what would forever be frozen in his memory, when Buffy had excused herself, walking out of his life again- if only temporarily this time, he wasn’t sure. Not that it mattered when she left, or so he told himself, considering he had to go to work. However, he still saw the pain in her eyes, the tears she was holding back that threatened to spill over. He couldn’t believe she had returned at all. He was still convinced it was just a dream.

‘Or a bloody nightmare.’

He saw his daughter walk outside, a smile plastered across her face as usual, accompanied by Janice, her closest friend. He exited the car and smiled, trying to put up a façade of everything being as normal as possible.

“Hi, Daddy,” Dawn said, stopping in front of him. “Janice asked me to come over. Can I?” Spike looked a couple of cars over, seeing Janice’s mother smiling at him, nodding. He inwardly groaned- Janice’s mother was single and constantly making sure that Spike knew it. It was a rare occasion that he wasn’t aware of the crush that the older woman had on him. With a shake of his head to clear is, Spike turned his attention back to his daughter.

“Sure, Little Bit,” he said, leaning down to hug her and kiss her cheek. “I’ll come over after dinner to get you, okay?” She nodded. “And be sure to be good over there. Don’t get in any trouble.”

“Of course, silly,” she giggled, taking Janice’s hand in hers before they walked to her mother’s car. “I love you, Daddy,” she called over her shoulder as she climbed in the car.

Spike sighed with a gentle smile on his face. “I love you, too, Nibblet,” he murmured, before getting in his own car. His thoughts were jumbled as he made the short drive back to his apartment, but he did his best to keep Buffy clear of his thoughts. Of course he was unsuccessful, but he did his best.

Walking into his apartment, he threw himself down on the couch and flipped through TV channels mindlessly. His brain was still going into overdrive. ‘I’m going to have to tell Fred, aren’t I? She deserves to know Buffy is back.’ He frowned, definitely not liking the idea of that impending conversation, before another thought occurred to him.

‘But is she back? It’s just a visit, right? So I wouldn’t necessarily have to tell Fred. Buffy will finish her business here and leave, and Fred would never have to know.’

“Yahtzee,” Spike said, getting up to go and get ready for dinner with his girlfriend.

***

Hours later, he picked up Fred at her apartment, and headed to one of the local restaurants. He remembered the time when he and Buffy went to this same place, when they had just started dating. ‘Great, let’s reflect on that, you ponce.’

He sat across from Fred in a booth and looked at the menu. The couple hadn’t spoken much since he’d picked her up, and Fred was obviously becoming more than a little worried.

“So, how was work today?” she asked, trying to get his attention. He shut his menu, almost violently as he shrugged.

“The usual,” he answered in a sullen tone. She frowned and studied him, noticing that he seemed preoccupied.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, growing more concerned as she watched her. He looked at her and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, inwardly kicking himself for lying to her. ‘I can’t tell her. No, it’ll cause more trouble, and I’m happy with her. Right, play it cool, mate.’

“How was work for you?”

“It was a good day,” she answered, folding her hands in her lap and giving him a hesitant smile. “A couple of the troublemakers were absent, so the rest of us had a nice time. A couple of finger-paints fell and splattered across the floor, but it turned out all right.” She noticed him not paying attention to what she was saying. “And I got married to Bob Dole and we’ve decided to raise penguins in Guam.”

“Right, penguins,” he said, looking at his hands on the table, nervously tapping a steady beat on the hard surface. He suddenly raised an eyebrow and looked at her. “What?”

“I thought so,” she said, nodding slightly, a sad look crossing over her features. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Spike answered a shade too quickly. She looked down again, and he sighed, clenching his jaw as he looked up at the ceiling for a moment to get his thoughts together. “Fred, I have to tell you something,” he began, lowering his eyes to her. Fred looked up at him with wide eyes. “I don’t really know how to say it, so I’m just going to say it.” He saw the expectant look in her eyes and knew he couldn’t back down. He’d have to do this and it was now or…well…now. “Buffy showed up today at my apartment.” Fred’s face fell, causing Spike’s to fall as well.

“Buffy?” she asked, confused. “Dawn’s mother?” He nodded, and she felt her heart pounding. “She came back today?” Spike nodded again. “What…how…wow.” She looked at her hands again and felt overwhelmed by a torrent of thoughts. “Does Dawn know?”

“I was going to tell her tonight,” he answered, his fingers fidgeting. “Probably...maybe…I don’t know.”

“Is Buffy going to stay?” Fred asked quietly. Spike sighed again and shrugged slightly. “Oh.” She looked at him, holding back tears that were beginning to form. She was overcome with emotions and didn’t know why she was reacting like this. Maybe it was natural to cry over things like that. ‘Tears of joy or tears of sadness?’ she asked herself. ‘After all, a girl should have her mother in her life…but on the other hand, what will happen to us?

“How do you feel about it?” Fred finally asked him.

“I…I don’t know,” Spike answered truthfully, his head reeling with possible answers to the question.

“If you’d like, we can leave,” Fred offered, wanting to give him the opportunity to go home and think.

“No,” Spike said firmly before smiling softly. “We came here to have dinner together, and that’s what we’re going to do.” Fred felt a brief flicker of hope inside and smiled back at him.

* * * * *

Willow and Buffy decided to meet up for dinner that night, going to Willow’s favorite restaurant. Buffy hadn’t been able to resist the temptation of letting her best friend know that she was in town.

The two friends walked in and sat at a booth in the corner, as Buffy looked around. ‘I remember this place,’ she thought, but quickly dismissed it to focus on her friend.

“So how did seeing Spike go?” Willow asked when Buffy closed her menu.

“It wasn’t exactly a happy reunion, but I deserved every word he said to me,” Buffy admitted, looking down at her lap. “But he looks good. Things must be going okay for them.”

“They’re both healthy and doing well,” Willow said, her eyes straying to a table on the other side of the restaurant and noticing familiar platinum hair.

‘Oh goddess,’ Willow thought, her eyes widening slightly.

Before Willow could avert her eyes, Buffy followed Willow’s gaze and saw Spike at a table with a pretty, petite brunette woman.

Buffy’s head started to spin. ‘He’s dating someone?’ She couldn’t ignore a stab of jealousy that coursed through her. ‘Who are you kidding, Summers? You’ve been gone for five years- he deserved to move on and find someone. Of course he’d be dating someone, he’s a good looking guy.’ But that didn’t change the fact that seeing him with another woman hurt...a lot. Willow looked at Buffy, seeing emotions swirling in her eyes.

“Is he…married?” Buffy asked in a quiet tone, looking back at Willow.

“No, they’re just dating,” Willow answered, hoping to set Buffy’s mind at ease somewhat. “It hasn’t been a long relationship, only a couple of months.” Willow was suddenly very grateful that Dawn wasn’t there, too. That would’ve caused a disastrous scene, one that she wasn’t prepared to handle.

It didn’t matter to Buffy. He was with someone else now, a very beautiful someone else and Buffy suddenly felt very inadequate. ‘That could’ve been you. You should be the one in that booth with him, happy. But you threw it all away for your own selfish needs. What kind of monster are you?’

* * * * *

Spike and Fred finished their meal at a much quicker pace than either of them were used to. Since neither was feeling up for a conversation, Spike paid the bill and stood up, trying to remain the gentleman and helping his girlfriend out of her seat.

“Spike, I think you should tell Dawn,” Fred finally spoke up, softly as Spike stared at the floor. “She needs to know.”

Spike looked up with a soft smile on his face, albeit a slightly forced smile. “Thanks, pet,” he murmured, leaning forward to brush his lips across her cheek, clearly avoiding her mouth, before turning and guiding her out of the restaurant. Neither noticing a set of hazel eyes that were trailing after the love of her life and his beauty of a girlfriend as they walked out the door, with a solitary tear rolling down her cheek.





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