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Chapter 5


Spike stood outside, smoking a cigarette, an hour later. Buffy was still inside giving Dawn her bath and getting her ready for bed, at the little girl’s request, and Spike was taking a much needed break. It hadn’t been as dramatic as he expected. Dawn didn’t bother asking any serious questions, except where Buffy had been. After that, the two had settled down on her floor to play and Spike had slipped out to get some work done.

Hearing the phone ring, Spike darted back into the apartment to grab the cordless, before stepping outside again.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.”

Spike closed his eyes when he heard Fred’s voice. “Hello, pet.”

“Did you tell her?”

“Yeah,” Spike said softly. “She took it well.”

“Oh…that’s good,” Fred replied a little too cheerfully. “So what happens now?”

“I don’t know,” he said, hating himself already, for not telling her the entire truth. Why should he hide the fact that Buffy was here right now?

“Okay…well…I’ll talk to you later.”

“Good night, luv,” he said, disconnecting the call.

“Your girlfriend?”

Spike closed his eyes again, this time at the sound of the voice that was so familiar and yet, so strange. “How’d you know?” he asked, leaning over the railing as he inhaled sharply on his cigarette, never allowing his eyes to travel to her.

“I saw her,” Buffy said quietly, causing Spike’s head to snap around to her. “Tonight,” Buffy elaborated. “Willow and I were at the restaurant.”

Spike stayed quiet as he turned away again.

“She’s pretty,” Buffy continued, as she stepped forward to stand next to him, trying to mask the hurt in her voice.

“She is,” Spike agreed with a nod.

“How long have you-“

“Why do you care?” Spike asked, spinning around to face her with an angry glare.

Buffy felt her heartbeat speed up at his close proximity, unconsciously shifting her body closer to his, in spite of his rigid form.

“You’re the one who left, what do you care if I’m dating someone five years later?”

Buffy stayed quiet, avoiding his eyes as she glanced downward.

“Buffy Summers is speechless? This has to be some kind of record,” Spike continued, sarcastically.

“I should go,” Buffy whispered, turning to walk away. “Dawn’s in bed, she says goodnight. She's an amazing little girl, Spike...you should be proud.”

Spike clenched his jaw as he watched her walk away. “Wait.” Buffy stopped, but didn’t turn around. “I shouldn’t have said that…any of it. I was out of line.”

Buffy slowly turned around, facing him with glistening eyes. “No, you weren’t,” she said softly, causing Spike’s heart to ache. “Say whatever you want, Spike…you’ve earned it.”

“Yeah, I’ve earned it,” Spike agreed quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down. “It’s still fairly early. You could…stay, if you wanted.” Buffy looked at him, slightly shocked. He was asking her to stay for a while?

‘He’s offering an olive branch,’ she thought to herself. ‘Or a smidgeon of one. Take it.’

“Okay,” she said, blinking away the tears in her eyes, following him back inside and into the living room area. She sat on a couch while he sat across from her on a chair, not looking at her, as he focused more on the ground. “She looks a lot like you.”

“She’s got more of your personality, though,” Spike said, looking at Buffy finally. She smiled slightly.

“She’s not a little rebellious?” Buffy asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“Not as of yet,” he replied, managing a small smile. “She loves shopping- that reminds me of you.”

“Most girls like shopping,” Buffy said, faking defensiveness. “So, she’s in kindergarten?” Spike nodded. “She told me Miss McClay is her teacher. Tara became a teacher?”

“She always liked kids,” Spike shrugged. “I think Willow convinced her to try it.”

“Is she a good student?” Buffy asked, relaxing a little at Spike’s more gentle tone.

‘It’s probably because Dawn is asleep a couple of rooms over. He doesn’t want to wake her up by screaming at me. Which I deserve completely, but he’s being civil. Tonight, at least, so go with it,’ she said to herself, coming up with more questions instantly.

“Yeah, she’s doing very well,” he answered, looking down again. “My girlfriend was her preschool teacher last year who worked with Dawn a lot. She’s a very intelligent little girl.”

“That has to be from you,” Buffy said, trying to mask how jealous she was that the woman he was with was able to act like a mother to her daughter, in her absence. The fact he was with her in the first place was bad enough, but this was just the icing on the proverbial cake.

“Yeah, I think it is,” Spike said, looking at her again and smirking. He saw a hint of sadness in Buffy’s eyes and wished he wouldn’t have mentioned Fred to her.

‘She asked about her before,’ he thought. ‘And it’s not like she doesn’t know Fred exists. I’m dating Fred, and she was Dawn’s preschool teacher. That’s valid information to share.’ He paused. ‘Yeah, if you’re trying to hurt her and push her away.’

“Do you still work at the restaurant?” Buffy asked, wanting to avoid the subject of his girlfriend again. Spike nodded. “You’re not bussing tables anymore, right?” He noticed a slight sparkle in her eyes when she said this and felt overwhelmed with memories of the old Buffy, the one that looked at him like he was her world. The one that joked, and cared, and was there.

‘But she left,’ he said to himself, trying to push aside the thoughts that began to form in his head.

“I’m a manager there now,” he answered, folding his hands on his lap as he leaned forward. “Equally as fun.” She smiled and looked down.

‘Keep her smiling. I missed seeing that. Pictures can’t capture how beautiful she is when she smiles.’

“What about you? You said you live in New York,” he said conversationally, trying to be calm.

“I’m a manager at an art gallery in the city,” she said, shrugging. “It’s not too bad. I work with a shop-a-holic who doesn’t ever do her job, but it’s a pretty good deal, I guess.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to have a career in art,” Spike said, slightly surprised at her profession.

“Me either,” she agreed. “I took a class in Florida that made me enjoy it, and I got an offer to move, so I took it, and that’s what I’ve been doing for the last couple of years.”

“Has there…been anyone in your life?” Spike asked quietly and instantly wanted to hit himself.

‘Why the bloody hell did you ask that? Are you trying to depress yourself more?’

“No,” she answered, avoiding his eyes. She couldn’t explain why she had stayed single. The only reason she had was that she loved him too much to move on. When she looked at him, she saw a little bit of happiness in his gaze and smiled a little. “So, who’s the brunette beauty you’re dating?”

“That’s a story for a later date,” Spike said, noticing the time. It was still early, but he didn’t want to get into Fred tonight with her, not when it was somewhat peaceful between them. She nodded and stood up, grabbing her purse.

“I should get going anyway,” Buffy said. “I don’t have my key for Mom and Dad’s, so I should get back before they fall asleep and lock me out.” He stood and walked with her to his door. They stopped at it, and an awkward silence fell upon them. “Well, good night.” She put her hand on the doorknob.

“Would you maybe want to take her to school with me in the morning?” he asked suddenly. She looked at him, surprised. “I mean, you could see Tara again and her classroom.”

“I’d like that,” Buffy said, smiling. “What time would be good for me to come over?”

“How is 7:30?” he asked. She nodded and opened the door, going out into the hallway. “Buffy?” She hesitantly turned around to look at him. “Thanks for coming over tonight.”

‘Thank you for coming home,’ he thought. ‘Because God knows I missed you.’

“You’re welcome,” she said, taking a long look at him, almost committing his face to memory, before turning again and leaving. Spike shut the door and leaned back against it, sighing.

“She’s only visiting,” he whispered. “So don’t let your feelings get in the way. Don’t fall for her again.”

‘Too bloody late.’





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