With This Ring by Lilachigh
Chapter 13 Going Barmy
Buffy followed Spike back inside the barn. She’d stopped to collect another torch from the car, knowing that the remains of the one they’d smashed earlier were still in the tunnel.
Spike lifted the trapdoor and she followed him silently down into the darkness, pulling the cover back over their heads as she went. She didn’t want CordyT to see that they’d come back to explore.
As she neared the bottom of the ladder, she felt his hands reach up to her waist to lift her down the final few feet. It wasn’t necessary; she knew he was only doing it because that was what they did in this Sunnydale - use every available second to touch each other.
Buffy felt the scalding tears burn at the back of her throat and couldn’t stop herself from tensing. She knew that Willow’s spell had almost vanished, as far as she was concerned. She didn’t really understand why Spike was still pretending that he loved her.
Silently she pulled away from him and could sense bewilderment and hurt. But she couldn’t help it. They weren’t really in love. It was a spell. Magic. She had to keep telling herself that.
“Right, pet, here we are again, and I can still smell a faint trace of XanT down here,’ Spike said quietly. Then he frowned. “There’s another scent, too, but....no, bloody hell, I’m going barmy, that can’t be right,” he muttered under his breath.
Buffy wasn’t listening. All she wanted to do now was find XanT, get him home to Tara and then get herself and Spike back to their own world, where their relationship was clearly defined, Slayer and Vampire, with no love, no feelings and definitely no sex.
She flashed the torch around, noticing for the first time that of the three tunnels leading out of the cave area, one headed back towards the house. “We don’t want to go that way. It must come up somewhere indoors. CordyT could hear us. Which way is the XanT scent the strongest?”
Spike half shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he nodded towards the right hand passage. “That one. Definitely. But as I said before, sweetheart, it’s bloody odd. The scent is in the air - almost as if he wasn’t touching the ground at all.”
Buffy frowned, then bit her lip. “You mean, he might have been carried?”
Spike looked grave. He nodded silently and headed off down the passage. That second scent had started a strange suspicion growing second by second inside his head, but there was no way he could tell Buffy. What if he was wrong?
The air grew colder as they walked further. Buffy began to shiver. How could it be so cold when it was so hot above ground?
“I’d loan you the duster to warm you up, but it might be a bit big on you,” Spike commented with a grin. “Teach you to run around wearing bits of cotton with little strings holding it up.” He ran a finger lovingly over the bronze rounded top of her arm.. “You’ve got goose bumps, luv.”
“Chilly down here,” Buffy replied, not wanting to admit that the goose bumps were mainly caused by his touch on her skin, not the dip in temperature.
“I could warm you up in a second, sweetheart,” he drawled in her ear and she shuddered as she laughed and moved swiftly ahead of him.
‘I shuddered because he’s a vampire,’ she told herself firmly. ‘Not because I want him. Vampire. Evil. No soul. Just remember last time you gave your heart to a vampire and saw it smashed to pieces. You don’t love him. It was just a spell. And now it’s wearing off. Oh god, Willow, I could kill you. If only you hadn’t been so unhappy about Oz, none of this would ever have happened.’
“You want to go back, don’t you?” Spike said suddenly. He knew he should keep his mouth shut but then tact had never been his strong point in either Sunnydale. “You would rather live in the other world, the one where we’re not married!”
Buffy hugged her arms round her cold body. “Spike, I don’t want to get into this now. We’ve got too much to do here.”
Spike stopped and leant against the rocky wall of the passage. The light from the torch swung up and caught the high cheekbones, the slanting scar on his eyebrow, the gleam of bright blue eyes.
“I think we have to get into it, pet. Bloody hell, Buffy, you’re my wife! I love you. OK, not in the other place, but it’s hard to remember that when I'm here. And anyway - ” he paused, then went on, “I love you there, too.”
She shook her head. “It’s a spell, Spike. Magic. You know it is. You don’t really love me here. Or there. And I don’t love you. Of course I don’t. You’re a vampire. I’ve got a boyfriend, Riley, you know I have.”
“Not in this world you don’t.”
“But that’s just the point! Don’t you see, I’m not two different people. I’m me, Buffy Summers. If I’m your wife here, then I’m cheating on you with Riley, and cheating on Riley with you! And I just...I just can’t cope with that any more.”
“I’m not two different people, either. And I know exactly how I feel about you in both worlds. That won’t change. And I know damn well you love me in this world.”
“No, it’s Willow’s old spell that - ”
“For God’s sake, Buffy. Why are you always looking for an escape clause in life? You just think, oh magic, must be the spell that’s making me feel something for Spike. You’re not honest, Slayer. Not to me and not even to yourself.”
Buffy felt her fists clench, anger coursing through her. “Well, many thanks for the character assassination. If I wanted lessons on my morals, I think I’d have better people to ask than William the Bloody.”
“Oh right. Who, for example. Red? The whelp? Your Watcher? What the hell do they know about love, Buffy? They’re too weird, too young and too old!”
“Old? Excuse me, Mr over a hundred years and counting. Weird? Look in a mirror sometimes, why don’t you - oh no point is there, you haven’t got a reflection to look at. As for young - ”
“Hush!”
“What?”
Spike’s hand was across her mouth and for a second she struggled, then realised he was being serious. She nodded slightly to accept what he was doing and he gently took his hand away and pointed down the passageway.
“Voices,” he murmured, his lips brushing her ear.
“How many?”
“Two or three.”
“XanT?”
Spike shook his head, absentmindedly. “Maybe. But ....” The scent he’d found in the air earlier was stronger now. He couldn’t believe it, but his nose wasn’t lying to him.
He hesitated. Should he tell Buffy now? He opened his mouth to whisper, but she was already moving away. She’d covered the face of the torch with her fingers so only a faint pink glow showed her the way.
Spike followed, the duster swishing behind him. This could get really messy.
The passage swung sharply and Spike realised it was getting lighter ahead. A jumble of big boulders littered their path and Buffy crawled cautiously across them.
The voices were louder now. They were chanting, deep and monotonous. Buffy hooked her fingers over a rocky ridge and pulled herself up as far as she could. She stared down into a big cave. The entrance to the outside was covered with green undergrowth and enough light came in for her to see quite clearly.
She froze, only vaguely aware of Spike’s body pressed next to hers. There in the centre of the cave, XanT was staked out on the floor, a gag in his mouth, his shirt torn open to expose his chest.
Three people were kneeling around him. CordeliaT, her eyes gleaming as she swayed from side to side, HarmonyT, her bright blonde hair a mass of curls, happily chanting as she stared down at XanT.
And between them, broad-shouldered, dark hair tousled, chanting in a low voice and holding a shiny silver knife over XanT’s chest, was her ex lover, the man she would cheerfully have died for. Spike’s grandsire.
It was Angel.
tbc
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Buffy‘s not in denial, but just dreadfully muddled in her feelings. As always she wants to do what is right, not what she feels is right. When you’re actually married to Spike, this can be difficult!