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Chapter 5
by Starshine
 
Buffy turned to Spike for a moment, her shadowed eyes beseeching as she silently conveyed her intent.
 
He crossed his arms, hating the whole situation. He had hoped to buy her some time, give her some measure of peace. It would have been a pale comparison to what had been stolen from her, but still; he had wanted to give her more of a break before she was forced to deal with a situation like the one in front of her.
 
But, no...in typical Scoobie fashion, her so-called friends proved that they cared only about their own selfish needs and had ruthlessly thrust this confrontation upon her.
 

Buffy had been back less than a few hours and nearly every minute of that time she had found herself fighting. Fighting to claw her way out of a cold, dark coffin. Fighting to readjust to a world she thought had been left behind. And now another battle, not with a big nasty demon or newly risen fledgling, but with them...the people that were supposed to love her.
 
He would have gladly chased them away, made them stew in their fear and confusion, force them to suffer the way she had, but the decision wasn't his to make. This was Buffy’s fight; all he could do was sit back and watch.
 
She continued to stare at him waiting for confirmation that he would allow her to handle this.
 
Spike closed his eyes for a moment, nostrils flaring as he drew in a deep, unnecessary breath, then nodded slowly.
 
Buffy turned around, looking down at Xander and offering him a hand up.
 
Hesitantly, he accepted her hand, raising to his feet. She held on, gripping tightly to let him know that if he had tried his previous course of action once more, there would be serious repercussions. Visibly startled at her show of strength in defense of the evil undead, he yanked his hand away from Buffy and hurried to join the rest of the group.
 
Xander stared at her in shock. Coming back from a hell dimension must have left her pretty confused. Maybe she needed to be reminded of what they were to her, of how much more they meant to her than the worthless creature sitting on the stone sarcophagus behind her.
 
"Look at yourself, Buffy. Spike's working you and you don’t even care!" he bellowed. "You'd never let him touch you before, it's this coming back from wherever you were that has you all screwed up!"
 
"I let him do more than touch me on the night I died, Xander!" Buffy yelled.
 
Four pairs of eyes widened and four mouths gaped open in shocked surprise as she continued.
 
"Besides, who are you to question my ability to gauge right from wrong? How dare you, after what you guys just did?" she said, her voice low. "As for Spike taking advantage of me? You’re making a lot of assumptions."
 
“He bit you!” Xander yelled.
 
“And I let him. I wanted him to,” Buffy admitted. “But that's between me and Spike.”
 
“Buffy, we know you've been through a lot. You were in a hell dimension, probably surrounded by things like him. But we're your friends, remember?”
 
Buffy clenched her fist trying to calm herself.
 
“My Friends?” She questioned.
 
“My Friends who left me to crawl out of a coffin.” She absentmindedly ran her fingers across the bite marks on her neck. “Spike felt me. He was the one that dug me out. He was the only one that was there. Where were the rest of you?” Buffy questioned.
 
“We didn’t know. I swear, Buffy!” Willow cried.
 
Buffy looked at her best friend. She searched for an inkling of remorse in the redheaded witch's expression, but found none.
 
“You didn’t know... That’s pretty obvious. What did you know when you decided to rescue me from the hell dimension, Willow? Did you know for sure I was there? What told you that I was suffering so much that you had to play hero? A dream? Some prophecy?” Buffy goaded.
 
Willow took a step back toward Anya.
 
“No we just thought…”
 
“Did you!” Buffy yelled, tears flooding her eyes. “Did you stop to think for one moment that things might be the way they were supposed to be? Did you stop to think maybe I was all right? That maybe I was…”
 
Buffy swayed on her feet for a moment. As she fought to regain her balance, she felt two strong, cool hands holding her up by her hips. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, feeling the calm he sent through his touch.
 
Dawn looked at her sister, her tortured words swimming around her head. She let out a horrified gasp.
 
“You weren't in a hell dimension were you?” she asked her voice trembling.
 
Buffy looked down, shaking her head.
 
“You were...”
 
“At peace,” Spike interjected, wrapping her in his arms. She immediately turned, accepting the comfort he offered.
 
“Oh God, Buffy we…”
 
“Thought you knew where she was Red? Locator spell and all,” Spike spat out, his narrowed eyes never leaving Willow's flushed face. The Wicca was so jacked up on dark mojo she could hardly finish a coherent thought.
 
Dawn stared at her sister, her heart breaking. “This is my fault. I'm sorry, Buffy. I thought you were being tortured. If I knew you were..I would have never let them do it.”
 
Spike, still holding Buffy tightly in his arms, looked at Dawn with wary confusion.
 
“What do you mean?”
 
“She used her.” They heard a quiet voice say from the door of the crypt.
 
Tara MacClay hesitated for a moment before slowly entering, her eyes running over Buffy with an expression of immeasurable sadness in their depths. Buffy stiffened for a moment, watching the blonde witch carefully as she tried to gage her involvement in tonight's events.
 
It was plain to see by the look on Tara's face that she too felt betrayed.
 
“How?” Spike asked, his eyes flickering gold for a moment as he glared at Willow.
 
“The Monks used an Animation Spell to make Dawnie. It brings life to that which is not living.”
 
Dawn hugged herself tightly, her head lowered as she stared at the ground.
 
“You used her? Like some sort of battery? Willow you could have killed her!” Buffy screamed.
 
Willow gulped hard. How did all this turn out so twisted? All she had wanted was Buffy back. She'd convinced herself that she was doing the right thing. Dawn needed her sister. Willow was a poor substitute for the fallen slayer. Dawn needed so many things that she couldn't give her, things she was still learning herself. She was barely 22 and suddenly she was a teenager's surrogate mother?
 
Tara walked over to Dawn putting her hand around her shoulder.
 
“I know why you let them do it, Dawn. You just missed your sister.” Tara looked at Willow. “But you...You said you wouldn’t do it. You promised me. I told you this could happen, but you did it anyway.”
 
Willow and Xander exchanged a look.
 
“We thought we were helping,” Xander said quietly.
 
“Well you thought wrong,” Spike snarled.
 
“Oh and you're so much better than us? Don’t get all self-righteous on us Spike! Don't tell me you're not happy. Look me in the eyes and tell me when you saw Buffy alive, that that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence!” Xander challenged.
 
Spike flinched. As angry as he was, the whelp was right. The ache that been his constant companion was gone; replaced by the warmth of Buffy, alive and in his arms. He couldn't deny it.
 
“The difference is; he listened,” Dawn whispered. She lifted her head to gaze at her sister.
 
“I told you all what Buffy said to me before she jumped. She told me to take care of everyone, and that we were supposed to take care of each other. To be strong. She said she'd figured it out and that she was going to be okay. We didn't listen. But Spike did."
 
Buffy buried her face in Spike‘s cool chest. She wanted to forgive her sister, to take her in her arms and tell her it was all right, but she couldn't. Not yet.
 
Spike lifted her chin with a finger and looked into her eyes. He could feel her distress rapidly escalating once more.
 
“Spike? No more. Please, I can't...” she choked out.
 
He nodded, kissing the top of her head. "Come on, pet. Let's get you tucked in."
 
“Buffy, this is insane!” screamed Xander.
 
“SHE SAID NO MORE!” Spike roared.
 
Dawn flinched. Seeing her misery, Tara gathered the teenager in her arms.
 
“Leave it,” she commanded in a no-nonsense voice. “Buffy, we’ll be here when you’re ready, and not before." Her eyes hardened once more as she glared at the rest of the group. "We should all go now.”
 
Anya pulled Xander toward the door. When he resisted, she yanked viciously on his arm. "Xander Harris, move it. NOW!"
 
Tara looked at him her eyes pleading him to follow his girlfriend’s lead. Defeated he walked out.
 
Holding a crying Dawn, Tara smiled softly at Spike. “I’ll take care of her.”
 
She ushered Dawn out, pausing for a brief moment to look at her girlfriend then slowly walking out.
 
Willow stood watching as Spike guided Buffy toward the stone sarcophagus, gently sitting her down. He turned, walking toward her with his eyes still filled with rage.
 
She backed hurriedly out of the crypt until she stood right outside the doorway. She looked at Buffy sitting there with her eyes closed, arms tightly wrapped around herself.
 
“Please, Spike. Tell her I didn’t understand.”
 
Spike looked at each one of them for a moment, then back at Willow.
 
“That’s the thing about magic, Red, There's always consequences….Always.”
 
He slammed the door, leaving them all standing there feeling shut out, each wondering if they would ever be forgiven. Wondering if Buffy would ever let any of them back in.
 tbc

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