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The Show Must Go On Part2

I walked with Angel down long corridors and into an elevator. He pushed a button for the 13th floor then looked at me.

“About four hours ago a woman came in screaming. She said she saw a man fall out of the sky. He had a star shaped scar on his chest.” I looked Angel square in the eye and he could see what I was thinking, what the hell does this have to do with me?

I don’t care about men falling from the sky. I just want Spike back. It’s been roughly 6 hours and I can’t stand it. How can I go on without him? This same question going round my head and I still get the same answer, I can’t.

“I know this all sounds strange but just hear me out ok?” I nod and he continues. “I sent Wesley and Gunn out there to check it out and they brought him back. It turns out, once he knew he was in LA he asked Wes to take him to Angel. Just as well Wes knew me.”

“Angel, this is all very interesting but this doesn’t help me. I’m trying to find…….” And it hits me. Is he talking about Spike? No he can’t be. But then I think back to the phone call Dawn got and I put the pieces together. That’s impossible. He’s dead. Buffy’s a wreck. And it all makes sense. He’s here.

“He’s here. Isn’t he?” I almost start crying again. I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much.

“Yeah” He replies. Then lowers his head and starts to walk down another long corridor. I follow and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Angel stops suddenly and I nearly run into the back of him.

“There’s something else you need to know”

“What?” I’m so desperate to get into the room I might burst.

“He doesn’t want to see you” My heart misses a bit and I start laughing. How could he not want to see me? Angel’s crazy.

“I’m serious Buffy. He said this was your chance of having a normal life and he wouldn’t stand in the way. He told me not to contact you.” Tears fall down my face as I realize Angel is telling me the truth. My heart breaks but I still have to see him.

“I still need to see him Angel.” And he nods. He knows what I’m feeling because he was the same.

He knocks twice on the door then pushes it open. He then smiles at me and leaves.

The thing is, can I go into the room? I can here the radio playing softly and can’t help but notice it’s nothing that Spike would listen to.

I enter the room and see a bed in the middle,. There’s a chair on the balcony and I can see a mob of brown peeking over the top.

This isn’t Spike. I don’t know who it is but it’s not Spike.

I can’t believe I was fooled into thinking he was alive. I go to leave but the strangers soft voice stops me in my tracks.

“It’s me.” He stands up and turns to face me. And I drop down into a faint.

I come too and see the back of his head. He’s on the balcony and I need to see his face. I make some noise pretending to just wake up and he comes rushing in.

“Hello Buffy” So polite. “How you feeling?”

“Umm… not sure at the moment Spike.” There was no mistaking it was Spike. Apart from the missing scar along his eyebrow and his hair was brown, the rest was him.

“Understandable. You just had a huge battle with very little sleep.” He’s very nervous and I don’t know why.

“That’s not the reason Spike and you know it” I reply, a little too harshly.

“I’m here Buffy. You asked me to be here and I am. But guess what? I don’t want to be here. I was gone for an hour and you wanted me back. I lived without you for 147 days! You went a few hours. I was happy, I might never get that again because of your selfishness.” I’m crying in earnest now and the tears won’t stop.

“I’m sorry” I get out between sobs and then I run. I run as fast as I can back to my room and I don’t stop until I get there. It takes a bit of time because I couldn’t remember what floor I was on, but eventually I make it and slam the door behind me.

I take off my clothes and slip under the covers. I grab a pillow and hold it to my chest. My tears are soaked up by it and it also muffles my sobs and screams.

He doesn’t want me. He said he’d come back for me. I don’t know what’s worse at that moment. He’s right, I am selfish. I did to him what Willow and the others did to me. I know what he’s going through. With these thoughts I fall into a restless sleep.

I’m walking through the desert and it’s so hot, I feel like I’m on fire.
It then turns colder and I came to a clearing and I know I’ve been here before. I see the fire and I take a seat on a large rock.

“Ok now what?” I ask.

“Do you know why you’re here?” A voice asks. I’m looking for the face but there’s no one here.

“Umm no, can’t say that I do.” A body materializes on the other side of the fire and it takes me awhile to realize who it is.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me?!” I whine.

“Nice to see you too” He replies in that annoying voice of his.

“Cut the crap and tell me why I’m here” I demand. He’s looking at me and it makes me nervous.

“What you did was right.” I’m confused, what did I do? ”With William. It wasn’t his time. The place where he was, was like a limbo. He wouldn’t have stayed there for long. It was a small reward for saving the world. However it doesn’t discount the century of killing that he did. He will be needed in the near future, but not by us, by you.” I’m astounded. I was right to bring him back? If so, then why do I fell so guilty about it? Why is Spike upset that I brought him back?

“I know you have questions and you should. But I can’t answer all of them. Although I can tell you this, William is a champion .You made the choice for him to be yours. Angel was supposed to be, but you changed things yet again. Over time, the PTB discovered that William had a higher purpose, even your Watcher thought so, and now you’ve made it clear.”

“Ok don’t leave it there. What is it?” I’m frantic because I can feel myself awaking.

“You have to figure it out Buffy. I’m just the messenger. But before you go you need to know that this comes with a time limit. You have 7 days to find out what his purpose is. If you don’t then William will be sent to hell for all eternity and you will never be together again.” As soon as this is said I’m awake and my dream was gone.

I get up and walk into the bathroom. I get into the shower and turn it on as hot as I can and go over the dream. How the hell am I supposed to know what Spike’s purpose is? Maybe I’ll just go ask him. That seems like the easiest option.

I get dressed in a pair of low riding jeans and a tank top. I put on a little make up, cause I have to make an impression right? Right! A pair of boots and I’m off.

I know the way to his room. I don’t know how I remember but I do. I can feel a tugging at my heart that gets stronger with each step I take and then I’m there.

I raise my hand to knock but it falters when I hear laughing coming from inside. I can hear bits of the conversation but all that registers is that he’s talking to a woman and he sounds happy. I can hear the laughter even more and it feels like they’re laughing at me. Oh god. I can’t take this. It’s almost as bad as when he died. I step back until I hit the wall and then fall down it. The tears are falling and I don’t care anymore. If he doesn’t want me then why should I go on?

I don’t know how long I sat there hugging my knees and sobbing quietly. But I do feel when arms are placed under me and I’m being carried. Words of comfort are whispered into my ear but I don’t hear them, all I can hear is my heart breaking into a thousand pieces.
TBC





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