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Chapter 1

Two months had passed since the dreams had started. Two months...so much had happened in such a short time. Willow hadn’t gone down the deep end, no thanks to her. Oz had come back, talked to her for a while and left again. Nobody knew what was said in that talk, but afterwards Willow had stopped hunting down Warren and the other two boys and started grieving for Tara like she should have from the beginning.
Xander and Anya had solved their problems and tried to start anew. It wasn’t perfect, but they managed it.
And Dawn? Her little sister had grown up so much that it made her afraid sometimes. She wasn’t her little sister anymore, but one of her friends now. Someone she could trust, no matter what. So after all, life was good as it was. If just the dreams would stop. She didn’t know what to do anymore, was afraid to sleep at all. It wasn’t Spike, she was afraid of, but Spike with Angelus and everytime she dreamed it was the same:
Spike would try to rape her, she would fight him off, but then the door to the bathroom would open to let Angelus in and then...she screamed and woke up to Dawn sitting next to her on her bed, trying to get her to calm down. During the last week the dreams got more violent, Angelus would join Spike and instead of declaring his love he told her that it was all her own fault, that she wasn’t able to feel anything but hate and self-disgust. That it was her destiny to be alone.
“Screw you, Spike! I’m not going to listen to you, no matter if I’m dreaming or not. You’re wrong. And now I’m even talking to myself. I hate you!”
“Buffy, are you okay?” Xander had just put his dead through the doorway. As Buffy looked at him, she could see concern etched on his face, but also fear. Fear of her reaction. She knew that she pushed people away, even more so in the last weeks. Spike´s words came back to her: Destines to be alone. She pushed the thought back in her mind. The last thing she needed now was to let her dreams interfere with her life – more.
“Oh, sorry Xand. Yeah, I’m okay, as okay as...”
“Hey it’s okay Buff.” Carefully he stepped in her room. Clothes were scattered all over the floor. “Ähm, Buffy, don’t you think, you should maybe...” With his hand he indicated her room.
“I should, but-“ And suddenly she started crying, big tears rolled down her face.
“Buffy.” Unsure Xander took a step in her direction and took her hand. “Tell me.”
Defeated she sank onto her bed, pulling Xander to sit next to her. “After he, you know, tried to...I hated myself more than him, because I believed him. When he said, that he loved me, I started to believe him.” And she started crying again. Heartbreaking sobs escaped her trembling lips and Xander could do nothing but to take her in his arms. “It’ll be okay, I swear.”
And just for a moment she wanted to believe him, denying the fact, that it wasn’t exactly his love she was afraid of, but his hate combined with the torturing words he whispered to her, while Angelus stood their laughing.

“Peaches, I swear, if you tell me one more time not to loose my defenses, I’m gonna kill you.”
“You have to be ready, no matter the distraction.”
“But it’s not fair.” Spike took a step back. “You look too damn stupid to not be distracted.”
With a sigh Angel sat down, the neon pink trousers just a bit too tight and the mint-green shirt too green. “It´s not like I want to wear these things.”
“But you do.”
“Yeah, and whose fault is that?”
Two sets of eyes moved to Lorne, who stood in front of a large mirror. “Hey, I just wanted to help. And if our Angel Baby would loose a bit of weight, the things would suit him just fine.” The warning growl coming of Angel made Lorne silent once again.
“But why do I have to wear these things while we are training? Or did you two made a pact about embarrassing me as much as possible?”
“No, baby, but you need to train in these clothes, so you get used to them when you have to wear them in battle. The order of the Kralla – demons just love the 70es, so to fit in you have to look like this.”
“Besides peaches, if this pact exists, I would have made you were a bright orange, contrasting to your hair...peaches.”
“And why can Spike wear his usual clothes? These things would fit him way better than me.”
“Ey, stop it? Me and these nancy stuff. No way.” Noticing the glitter in Lorne´s eyes he backed away. “Forget it, no way!”
“But...no? Okay, you should be fine in your duster, they also have a soft spot for guys in leather...heaven knows why that is. Now, I’m gonna leave you to train. Behave.” With that he left the room, leaving one pissed off vampire and one that could barely hold back his smirk.
“So, let’s get back to training – you have to get used to it.”
“Shut up!”

TBC...

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