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Buffy sat uncomfortably hugging herself while the gang scrutinised her. She looked up slowly and stared at them before saying “You can say something anytime now.” Willow looked up suddenly realizing they were all quiet and started rambling “Oh god Buffy, I am sorry I didn’t know bu but I don’t know what um god I’m…” Buffy watched as Tara hugged before saying “You know its ok, I got to see you guys again so no big right.” Tara looked at her carefully and said “You want to go back”. She wasn’t asking a question just stating a fact but Buffy’s face was enough to confirm it to everyone.

Dawn looked shocked and said “But we just got you back. And you died but your back, can’t you stay back.” Buffy smiled despite the situation and stood up shakily and went over to hug Dawn. Dawn clung to her but not really understanding what was happening.

Buffy pulled back and said “ Ok I know you guys have been busy but I suppose you should know the rest of the story. Yes I already had child in that dimension but I was also pregnant (gasps are heard) and I suppose I could just show you.” She pulled her t-shirt tight showing the hard round bump of her 5 month nearly 6 month pregnant belly. Silence was her response until Dawn put her finger out and poked her belly and saying in awe “Your pregnant still, with um Spike, William’s baby?” Buffy touched Dawn’s fingers on her belly and said “Yeah”. Xander stood up and said “Your pregnant with dead boy jnr’s kid?” Buffy rolled her eyes and said “That is impossible Xander because he is dead, I am pregnant to William not Spike. Two different entities.” Dawn pulled her hand off her belly and said “Your going to leave me aren’t you.” Buffy bit her lip and said “God no, Dawn, I love you, I would never leave you, but I left a 3 year old you and if I don’t go back she will grow up without a mother, you are already grown up and I love the person you have become. I want to make her to be someone half as decent as you are and she would still be perfect.” Dawn eyes were red and sore from crying and she hugged Buffy and said “He doesn’t deserve you.” Buffy smiled over her tears and said “So will you guys help me?”

Willow who had been sitting quietly looked up at Tara and said quietly “I guess I could try.” Willow got up and walked over to Buffy and placed a hand on her stomach and said “I don’t know how we didn’t notice.” Xander stared at them all and said “Are you all crazy, Buffy wants to go and be with Spike. She is having his child and you want to help her get back to him so he can corrupt the kid.” Every person in the room turned to glare at him whereas Buffy could only sigh and say “You know what Xander, you love Anya and she was a demon, I love William and he has always been human. You’re my best friend but you are condemning him for something he never was. Think about that.”

She then turned and walked out of the magic shop trying to decide whether to cry or smile.

####

Buffy sat at the back stairs of her house rubbing her belly and looking at the stars. She stiffened but realized when she felt Dawn come up behind her. She smiled wearily when she felt her sit down and said “Sometimes when I stare at the stars I wonder if he is out there somewhere grieving or in pain or if he has moved on. Xander thinks I only love him because I was in someone else’s body but I don’t know.” She turned slightly and looked into Dawn’s eyes and said “ I couldn’t help but love him even after I became me again. Everything he was and did was for someone else, he never even thought about himself. Tell me is that something a bad man would do.” Dawn smiled and held Buffy’s hand and said “Xander is an idiot who will come around. You ok?”

Buffy squeezed her hand and pulled back and said “When did you get so smart?”

Dawn followed Buffy’s gaze to the stars and whispered “When I lost you.”





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