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“I’m sorry, Buffy. I’ll make it up to you. Tonight we’ll…we’ll have a girl’s night, okay? Just the two of us.”

“Okay, Mom,” Buffy said with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. Go. Experience this thing called work. I’ll be fine.”

With a wave, Joyce walked out the door as Buffy turned to go upstairs and finish getting ready for school. Joyce had received a call from the gallery and discovered the shipment delivered last night was the wrong one. Buffy knew she felt guilty for making her walk to school, but it wouldn’t kill
her.

Rifling through her wardrobe, she pulled out a pair of form-fitting khaki pants and a black sweater, quickly dressing and looking at herself in the mirror. Buffy sighed at her reflection before pulling her long blonde hair back into a clip, bravely keeping it off her face. She shrugged as she looked at her reflection. ‘I can always take it down later…the joys of having long hair- it can be used as a shield if I don’t want anyone looking at me.’

Smiling at her insane, but yet somehow accurate logic, Buffy grabbed her backpack and walked out the door to start the twenty-minute trek to school.

Five minutes into her walk, she noticed an unfamiliar car slowing down before coming to a complete stop next to her.

“Buffy? Buffy Summers?”

“That’s me,” she replied, recognizing the boy in the car as a senior from Sunnydale High.

“I’m Cameron Walker. Do you…need a ride?”

Buffy was about to politely decline when she saw the familiar Desoto driving down the street.

“I’d love a ride,” she said with a smile, timing it perfectly as she got into the car and suppressing a smirk when she saw William’s shocked expression. Of course, the need to smirk left on its own when she saw her smug-looking former friend in the passenger seat.

Cameron kept up steady chatter about the swim team and his impending scholarship from UCLA while Buffy sat quietly. Pulling into the school parking lot, Buffy was about to jump out of the car when she saw William and Drusilla exit the Desoto. A frown came over Buffy’s face when she saw the
new tight jeans and black leather duster that William was sporting. She almost snorted before she realized that Cameron was still talking to her.

“Thanks for the ride, Cam,” she said with a friendly smile, cutting off whatever he was about to say. “I’ll see you around.”

Being a little earlier than she planned, Buffy walked through the school and entered the library. It was already starting to get on her nerves how everyone was staring at her, but she knew that most of them were just wondering if she was okay. At least, that’s what she hoped.

Killing time until the first bell rang, Buffy idly walked through the stacks, letting her fingers trail over the musty books. She loved the old library. She loved that she could come in here at any time and have a few minutes to herself.

No sooner had the thought left her head than she turned the corner and saw William walk through the double doors. Darting back behind one of the tall shelves, Buffy said a silent prayer that he was going to talk to his father, knowing that Giles was probably in his office by now. Peeking around the
corner, she saw that he was gone before she quickly walked toward the doors and promptly crashed into William as he rounded a corner.

“Buffy…what are you doing here?”

“Trying to get away from you,” she snapped as she pushed him away and began walking toward the door.

“I have study hall this hour,” he said quietly. Something in his voice caused Buffy to stop and turn around to look at him. One glance in the office told her that they were the only two in the library.

“What are you doing?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what the hell are you doing?!” she demanded, her voice rising.

“I don’t know what the bloody hell you’re talking about!” William yelled back, his temper snapping.

“Let’s get one thing straight right now. I don’t want to see you, Will. After all of our time together, you dropped me for that vapid ho and then expect me to make small talk before school?!” Buffy noticed the tic in his jaw, but he wisely kept his mouth shut. “I don’t want to know you,” she whispered, fighting the tears in her eyes.

“You’re the one who demanded that I do it in such a public place! I would have rather talked to you, just the two of us, but you-“

“Shut up! Just shut up! Stop trying to justify what you did! You hurt me…you embarrassed me, and after…”

Buffy trailed off, swallowing the lump in her throat before continuing. “Why am I even talking to you? You don’t give a damn about me.”

“I do…I just…the feelings that I have for you now…they’re just different. I wish things didn’t have to be this way.”

“Yeah?” Buffy replied, anger clouding her vision. “I wish I’d never slept with you.”

The hurt look that crossed William’s face almost gave her the vindication that she was looking for. Almost.

Refusing to feel sorry for anything she said, Buffy continued to stare at him with an impassive expression.

“Do you really mean that?” he asked quietly.

Buffy looked away, thinking for a moment before meeting his gaze. “Let’s just say that the feelings that I have for you now are different.”

Satisfied that his hurtful words had been thrown back in his face, Buffy turned and stormed out of the library, bypassing Giles as she passed.

“Everything okay, son?” Giles asked, looking at the door that was still swinging.

“No.”

* * * * *

Buffy furiously tried to keep the tears out of her eyes as she walked down the hall. Not watching where she was going, she realized too late that she had just knocked Jonathan completely off his feet.

“Ooomph.”

“I am so sorry,” Buffy apologized, helping him up. “I wasn’t watching where I was going, and then it was just…bad. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said with a shy smile, quickly gathering his books.

“If there’s anything I can do…”

Buffy helped him grab his books and awkwardly handed them back to him.

“Would you want to go to the movies with me?” Jonathan abruptly blurted out.

Buffy blinked.

‘You’re not ready…he’s a nice guy and you would only hurt him…but maybe you
need a nice guy. Besides, who says it has to be classified as a date?’

“I’d love to.”

* * * * *

That night, Joyce and Buffy were feasting on popcorn and soda while watching an old black and white movie on TV. Buffy pulled a blanket around her to ward off the chill in the room, reflecting on the days when William would hold her to keep her warm. She frowned and began eating handfuls of popcorn.

‘Whoever said eating comfort food when you’re depressed is bad, obviously never had their heart broken,’ she thought sadly.

Joyce looked at her daughter.

“Is everything okay?” she quietly asked, running her hand over Buffy’s hair.

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” Buffy shrugged, not completely lying. “It was a long day.”

“I’m assuming you must have talked to William since you’re so upset,” Joyce said. Buffy looked down and sighed.

“Yeah, we talked in the library,” she said. “It wasn’t good, by any means, but I had the chance to say some things to him.”

‘That he rightfully deserved,’ she added mentally.

“Things will get better,” Joyce said consolingly. “I know it might not seem possible right now, but things will pick up. You just have to get back on the horse again.”

“Do you remember that pony you made me ride when I was a little kid?” Buffy asked, looking at her mom. “The one that tried to make me fall off?” Joyce laughed at the memory. “Besides, I’m going to mount the horse again this weekend. Jonathan Levinson invited me to a movie.” Joyce smiled warmly.

“He’s a very nice boy,” she said. “He always won the science fairs in junior high, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Buffy answered. “I never really paid attention to that kind of stuff back then.”

‘I was too preoccupied with trying to be popular,’ she thought sadly. ‘Too wrapped up in my own dumb life to notice the things going on around me.’

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have a great time,” Joyce said, watching the movie again. Buffy nodded and grabbed her soda can.

‘Yeah, it’ll probably be nice to get away from thinking about William for once,’ she thought.

* * * * *

When Saturday evening finally arrived, Buffy was somewhat excited to go see a movie with a guy who wasn’t that similar to William.

“A change will definitely be nice,” she said quietly, looking in her mirror as she put on make-up. She was slightly startled when her phone rang. She picked it up, hoping it wasn’t Jonathan calling to say that he wanted to cancel plans for the night. “Hello?”

“Hi,” William said, sounding a little nervous. She raised an eyebrow and sat on her bed.

“Hey,” she replied. “Why are you calling me?”

“Some of my CDs are still at your house,” he said. “All of which I want back. And do you still have the black T-shirt I let you borrow last month?”

“Yeah,” she answered, sighing. “Your CDs are by my CD player and your shirt is in my closet.”

“I’ll be over then in an hour to pick it all up,” he said, and Buffy tensed up.

“I won’t be home, and Mom’s working tonight, so no one will be here,” she said, resisting the urge to rub it in his face that she had plans.

“Where are you going?” he asked curiously. “Out with Willow?”

“No, actually, I have a date,” she said, deciding that she was going to be honest with him.

‘It’s my life, and I don’t owe him anything anymore,’ she thought. ‘Besides, it’s a Saturday night- why isn’t he with Dru? Is there trouble in paradise already? Because that would be refreshing to hear. He dumped me, only to get dumped by the gothic skank.’ Buffy smirked. ‘I’d die to see that happen.’

“With who?” he asked, hoping that he didn’t sound as jealous as he really was.

“Jonathan,” she answered casually, going to her closet and finding his shirt. She threw it on her bed before grabbing a pair of jeans.

“You’re going out with him?” he asked, surprised that she had moved on so quickly.

‘But then again, I guess I don’t blame her,’ he thought. ‘She’s not the type of girl to wait around idly.’

“It’s just a date,” she answered, pulling out a light pink blouse. “If you want your stuff back, I should be home tomorrow afternoon.”

“Fine, I’ll come over at noon,” he said firmly, still slightly angry that she was going out with someone else.

‘I didn’t even know Jonathan was on her radar,’ he thought.

“I’ll be home, and if I’m not, Mom can give you your stuff back,” Buffy said, smiling. “I’m sure Mom would love to see you again.”

‘And would have a few choice words for you,’ she thought, sliding on her jeans. ‘That conversation would be priceless to witness.’

“Well, then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. “Have a good night, Buffy.” She sensed the sadness in his voice and decided not to comment on it.

“You too, Will,” she replied before hanging up. She put on her shirt before looking at herself one last time in the mirror before her doorbell rang. “Well, Buffy, it’s time to delve back into the dating world.” She walked downstairs and opened the door to see Jonathan standing there, holding a small bouquet of flowers. She smiled at him, surprised. “Hi, Jonathan.”

“Hi,” he said, extending the flowers to her. She graciously took the bouquet and looked at the flowers arranged in it.

“Thank you so much,” she said, trying to push away memories of the times when William had given her flowers. “I’ll just go put these in a vase, and then we can head out. Feel free to come in.” He did, closing the door behind him. Buffy went to the kitchen, cut the stems down, and put the bouquet in a vase before looking at it.

‘Stop thinking about William,’ she said to herself. ‘He doesn’t exist anymore to you.’ She fought the urge to cry before walking to the living room and watching Jonathan look at the pictures on her fireplace mantle.

“Okay, I’m all set to go,” she said, grabbing her purse and keys. He walked outside as she locked up behind them and followed him to his car. He opened the car door for her and made sure she was inside before he closed it. He got in on his side and started the car. “Thank you for asking me out, Jonathan.” He smiled nervously at her.

“Thank you for saying yes,” he said before he began to drive to the movie theater. It was then that Buffy realized she had never given any other guys besides William a chance.

‘And that all ends now,’ she thought, looking outside as they drove through the streets of Sunnydale.





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