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"Spike, where are we going?" Buffy asked as Spike nearly drug her out of her office the following day. He'd popped in, announcing he was taking her out. He wouldn't say where though, and Buffy hated not knowing where she was going. In short, she hated surprises. She liked to know what was going on at all times.

"I told you. Out of the office. Away from work. I'm kidnapping you," he grinned down at her and she shivered in reaction. Had his voice always been that sexy? It was so deep and hypnotic. She was sure she could get aroused listening to him recite a phone book or the Gettysburg Address.

"Where are you kidnapping me to?" she insisted.

"Can't just let yourself go can you?"

"It's not in my makeup."

"Why not?"

"I don't know if you knew this, but I'm kind of a control freak."

He smiled, "Think I heard a rumor about that."

She smiled back at him. "I went over the article Harmony wrote."

"The title is going," he told her immediately, "I'm not going to be known as
‘Blondie Bear'."

Stopping in front of his car, he opened the passenger side door. "Mi'lady,
your chariot awaits."

She giggled at him, and took note that she'd been doing a lot of that as of
late. Laughing. Giggling. With Spike, at Spike, around Spike. It was
unnerving and different…nice.

She slid into his beloved black DeSoto and looked around. It was old, but in
mint condition.

Sliding in beside her, he leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose and
waggled his eyebrows. "Ready?"

"I guess," she said on a sigh.

"Trust me."

She let that lie. That was along the same lines as ‘falling' and Buffy just
wasn't ready for that yet.

"Are you going to buy a DeSoto in every color when you're rich?" she
asked a few minutes later.

"Nope. Maybe I'll buy you a car though. What kind do you want?"

She laughed. "You're not going to buy me a car, Spike."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I won't let you. You should invest some of your money—"

"Buffy?"

"What?"

"No shop talk, remember?"

"My mistake."

"Have you spoken to Willow lately?"

‘Uh, yeah. I just saw her last night."

"How's she doing? I haven't seen her much since she and Xander moved in
with their significant others."

"She's good. Busy prepping the apartment and making it all Willow like. Oz
seems like a really great guy."

"He introduced you to Angel, yeah?"

"Yeah," she said slowly.

"Not all that nice then," Spike said and grinned at her.

She hit him playfully on the arm and he snatched her swiping hand and
kissed the fingertips. "In case I haven't told you recently, I love you."

"Spike," she said on a plea.

"Just want to tell you is all. Here we are."

Buffy looked down and took note that they were still holding hands. She
took her hand away so he could park along the side of the road and they
climbed out. They were at the park. Buffy inhaled deeply on the scent of
lilies and closed her eyes. When she opened them she found Spike smiling
tenderly at her. "Smell the lilies?"

She nodded, smiling shyly.

Opening the trunk, Spike took out what appeared to be a picnic basket.

"You're taking me on a picnic?" she asked in disbelief.

He nodded and took her hand once again. "Yup. You need some fresh air.
Can't have my girl all cooped up inside. Fresh air so you can have a clear
mind when taking care of me."

She followed him, thinking that an afternoon in the peaceful park with the
green grass under her and the scent of lilies surrounding her was a perfect
way to clear her mind. Following Spike to find the perfect spot for their
picnic a thought started nagging at her.

"Did you do this for Harmony and all those other girls?" she blurted out.

Spike stopped and looked down at her, dropping the basket. He brushed
some hair away from her face. "No. Picnics weren't exactly what they had
in mind."

She took her hand from his grasp and stepped back. "Or yours probably."

He sighed, "Pet, I didn't want to do special things for them like I do for
you."

"So this is what it is? Doing special things for me so I'll leave Angel?"

"Don't do this Buffy, please. I wanted to take you out today. Get you away
from work and see you outside of that place and away from New York. I
wanted to get you in a place where we could talk and laugh and, I don't
know, enjoy each others company. I just wanted you to relax and enjoy
yourself, possibly with me."

He looked so earnest and yet crestfallen that she'd doubted his attentions.
She pointed to the basket and squinted up at him. "So what did you pack
for lunch?"

He grinned and handed her the blanket he had draped over the basket.
"Help me with this and I'll show you."



Buffy had her mouth full of fluff and peanut butter and she was trying not
to laugh with her hand over her mouth as Spike recounted his short lived
stint working in a preschool while he'd been away at school.

"So then Timmy walks over to me and he's whining and telling me that
Jessica called him a bad name. So, I said, ‘Tim, what did she call you?' And
he stops and he furrows his brow and I can tell he's thinking really hard.
Finally he turns around to Jessica who's at the table coloring and says
‘Jessica what did you call me?'"

Buffy swallowed and burst into laughter. "What did she say?"

"She said, in this real snotty voice, ‘nothing Timmy!'"

When their laughter died, Buffy cocked her head to the side. "Sounds like
you really enjoyed it there. Why did you leave?"

"Schedule changed, didn't have much time during the day anymore."

"Not very often a guy works in daycare. Mostly it's women."

Spike shrugged. "Well, I've always liked kids and it was at that time that I
was taking education classes. Thought I was going to be a teacher like my
dad."

"I remember. Your dad was a tough teacher. You probably could have
filled his shoes perfectly." She grinned devilishly.

Spike grinned back and poked her. "Troublemaker."

"So what made you change your mind? Did you have an epiphany? A
stroke a genius one night and suddenly the words were flowing from your
pen like water?"

He raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged. "Guess it's a montage that I always pictured happening
with authors."

He chuckled. "No, actually writing is something I'd always enjoyed doing.
Just never thought I'd amount to anything doing it. I got praise from the
writing groups I was part of, but I guess I didn't have the self confidence in
myself to do it."

Her eyes bugged. "You? Not have self-confidence? You've got to joking."

Spike smiled shyly. "Not secure on everything Buffy. It took a professor,
whom I considered a mentor, to get me seriously thinking about it. It was
with his help that I submitted my work and, well, here I am now."

"Wow, that's impressive. I think in interviews you should expound on that.
Give other writers out there—"

"Buffy."

"Right. No shop talk. What can I say, it's ingrained in me. Always one step
ahead."

He cocked his head to the side. "Are you now?"

She looked at him. "Yeah, except with you."

"I'm not going to pretend that doesn't make me happy. Don't you think it'd
be boring if you always knew what to expect?"

"Depends on how you look at it. If say, you're going along thinking someone
is the bane of your existence and their sole purpose in life is to torment you,
and then they drop the bomb on you that they've been in love with you all
this time. . . It tends to throw you off center."

They stared at each other for a minute before Buffy cleared her throat.

"So, what other things are you insecure about?"

"You," he said simply, quickly.

She was stunned. "Me?"

"Yes, you. I've dated girls before Buffy, I've been top of my class and done
outrageous things just for the fun of it or to gain some prestige. But you
make me insecure."

"How?" she asked dumbfounded.

"Because you hold the power in your hands to either let me in, or leave me
hanging. While I'm so sure that I'm hopelessly and helplessly in love with
you, I'm unsure if you'll ever reciprocate those feelings back. You terrify
me."

"Well I guess we're even then."

"How so?"

She met his eyes. "Because you terrify me."





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