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One month later

Buffy stood behind Spike as he signed copy after copy of his book, finally published and on the shelves. It was called ‘Revelations'.

She'd almost convinced him to write the sequel so the audience could get
their happy ending. He told her it would ruin the magic of the story and
that the happy ending he'd wanted for Brandon was the happy ending he'd
gotten as Spike. She'd realized he was alive; she'd figured out his love and
returned it. Buffy, that is. However, there was one small glitch.

She hadn't told him yet.

She chewed her bottom lip as she contemplated how to go about telling
him. She'd never said it before. Well, aside from her family and pets. Oh,
and to the most comfortable pair of pajama's she'd ever worn in her life.
She kind of figured that saying ‘I love you' to Spike should be a big deal. It
was her first time saying it, and his first time hearing it. From her. She
quickly disregarded telling him during sex. She'd been moved to tell him as
they made love, but she didn't want him to think it was because their
hormones – was it hormones or pheromones? Dammit, she couldn't keep it
straight. Anyway, she didn't want to fall into the cliché of saying ‘I love you'
during sex. Not that he didn't tell her when they were in full throttle. He
never shut up when they made love. She loved that about him. She always
knew just what he was feeling and what she was doing to him. It wasn't a
mystery. Cosmo would sing him praises. She pretty much had a clear map
to his pleasure points. She knew how to make him growl and keen with
pleasure. Like just the night before when she'd playfully nipped at the spot
behind his ear, he'd growled and she'd found herself pushed into the bed
and then he'd taken her with –

"She's so pretty," an old woman was saying, smiling at her.

"Isn't she? She doesn't realize it though," Spike was saying, smiling at the
old lady.

"You tell her everyday?"

"Every day, ma'am."

The old woman patted his arm and hobbled away.

Buffy's face was on fire. She'd been having naughty thoughts in the
presence of an old lady. In the middle of a bookstore.

Spike looked up at her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. He
smirked at her and she gave him a ‘look'. He chuckled and turned back
around.

Okay, so. How to say I love you? Over dinner? She almost told him last
week when they were at the hot dog stand on the corner and he'd gotten
mustard on the tip of his nose. It'd been so cute; she wanted to tell him
then. She'd also wanted to say it when she'd stumbled into the kitchen that
morning and he'd been cooking breakfast for them in the boxers she'd
bought him as a joke with red hearts all over it and his signature black t
shirt. She'd laughed at how unmatched he was. Just perfect. Just so. . .
Spike. Her Spike.

But were those the right times to say it? Or did it have to be at a time
when there were fireworks going off and they were drinking champagne
and he was in a tux and she was in Versace? She just didn't know.



"Buffy, you should have said it at any of those times. When you feel the
urge to say it, that's the best time to say it," Willow told her later on over
the phone.

Buffy swiveled in her chair. "Really? When did you tell Oz?"

"I told him while we were doing dishes one morning. I just said it. He
smiled and said it back. When does Spike say it?"

"Any time, all the time."

"Then why don't you return it when he does it?"

"Because it'll be my first time saying it! I want it to be special."

"Buffy, the man is over the moon for you. Has been since high school. You
tell him you love him in a sewer and it'd be special for him."

"So you think going out to dinner isn't a good idea?"

"I think it's very sweet of you, but I don't think it's needed. Just tell him
Buffy."

"I will. Tonight. At the French restaurant that I can't even pronounce."

Willow laughed. "Let me know how it goes."



Buffy was in a foul mood. She'd gone to get her hair done for the night and
as luck would have it, it started to downpour as soon as she'd left the
saloon. It'd fallen completely down despite her best efforts to run and duck
under awnings on the way home. She had an allergic reaction to the new
makeup she bought and her right cheek was raw and red. Spike was late
and she'd torn her nylons. Her shoes didn't match her dress as they had in
the store and she was just not in the mood to go out anymore.

She'd told him to dress up and be at her place at seven, but he'd gotten tied
up at the recording studio. It was almost seven and Buffy realized that by
the time Spike got there now, they'd lose their reservation. She was a mess, she decided as she looked at herself in the mirror.

The buzz of the door jolted her and she started for the door, stubbing her
toe on the way. Limping, she opened the door to reveal Spike in a tux. God,
he was gorgeous.

Promptly, she burst into tears at the sight of him.

"Kitten, what's wrong? I'm sorry I'm late, I tried to get here as soon as I
could—baby, please stop crying." Spike was saying to her as he closed the
door and wrapped her in his arms.

"I'm a mess!" she wailed. "You look so good and I'm a mess!"

"Baby, you look gorgeous!"

"Why do you have to be like that! It's not fair," she wailed again.

"Like what?"

"Perfect," she hiccupped and took the hankerchief he offered her, blowing
her nose loudly. "You always know what to say to make me laugh. You're
sweet when I want to be angry at you and then I can't be angry at you."
Hiccup. "You're constantly supportive, always listening to me and you
never give up. You're relentless you know that?" Hiccup. "You always seem
to know what I'm thinking when I don't even know what I'm thinking . . .
You're perfect and brave and I wanted tonight to be special before I got
caught in a rainstorm, bought stupid new make up and tore my nylons and
my shoes don't match and all I wanted to do was take you out so I could tell
you that I love you!"

She barely heard him gasp as she continued. "You swept me off my feet
and I wanted to sweep you off yours but how can I when I look like
someone rubbed poison ivy on the side of my face and now I have raccoon
eyes. And you . . . in a tux! You're gorgeous you know that? I'm Quasimodo
and you're Esmeralda!" She blew her nose loudly.

"Buffy, what did you want to tell me tonight?"

She hiccupped, "I love you," she said mournfully.

Cupping her face in his hands, Spike made her look at him. "Look at me
my poison ivied raccoon," he smiled tenderly. "You love me?"

She nodded.

"Could you say it again?"

"I love you, Spike."

He closed his eyes and Buffy wasn't sure what to do next. When he opened
them again, he was gazing at her with such intensity, her breath caught.

"You just made my entire life," he breathed.

"I wanted it to be special. I wanted to tell you so you'd always remember
it."

"Buffy, luv," he started and then smothered her in a kiss. "Buffy, I don't
care where you tell me. Just that you told me just that you told me because
you feel it. You love me. You do, right? Tell me again."


She couldn't help but giggle at how cute he sounded, wanting to hear it
again.

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

He started dotting her face with kisses. "I've imagined you telling me that
so many times, Buffy. In so many different ways. "

"How? Did it include dinner?"

He chuckled. "Somwhere in there I'm sure it did. But you've told me in my
mind when we're making love, when we're walking the streets of Boston
hand in hand, when we were in high school and we sat together at lunch. I'd
imagine you leaning across to me and whispering ‘I love you'. A million
different ways have I imagined you telling me you love me. Nothing could
have prepared me for how incredible it felt to actually hear it." He kissed
her, passionately. "I will remember this for the rest of my life." he told her
and picked her up, cradling her against him as they walked to the
bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"Let's take a bath. You look a little frazzled. Then I'm going to make love to
you and we'll maybe even eat," he grinned.

"No."

He froze. "No?"

"No, I don't want you to make love to me."

His face fell. "You don't?"

She shook her head. "I want to make love WITH you."

He beamed at her and kissed her so hard; she feared they'd fall over.


Pushing inside her, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and stared up into his eyes, knowing they reflected the love he shone back at her. She leaned up and kissed him sweetly as they moved together, slowly, deliberately. Both of them wanted this to last as long as possible.

"Spike," she whispered and took the lobe of his ear in her mouth.

He grunted.

"I love you," she whispered and he started to move faster within her. "I
love you," she told him again.

"Buffy," he moaned and thrust harder. "I love you."

"I love you," she told him again, this time pulling her head back so that just
the tips of their lips were touching.

"Again," he begged.

"I love you," and she could feel the heat coiling inside her, she was ready…
she was going to…

"Again!"

"I love you!" and they exploded together.

Spike fell on top of her, panting. She stroked his back, trying to reign them
both back down to Earth.

Leaning up on his elbows, he looked down at her lovingly. "I love you so
much Buffy. So, so much. I've loved you forever and now you love me back.
It's the most amazing feeling in the world to be loved by you."

Kissing him, she caressed the side of his face. "Now you know how I feel
being loved by you."





thank you so much to the ones that have reviewed. It means so much to me. I love hearing what you think!! Thank you so, so much....

Oh, and there will be at least 2, maybe 3 more chapters. Unless you're tired of it by now?





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