The next morning Buffy awoke to the familiar smell of breakfast cooking and a pounding headache. She searched her mind for bits and peices of the night before. Kissing Spike, fight with Spike, home and bed. A sigh passed her lips as the recollection of the car ride home burned into her brain. It had been quiet, neither one spoke a word, and yet it was a comfortable silence, even after the argument. She hastily retreated to her room as they entered the Summers' home, mumbling a promise of talking the next day. She hadn't gone to bed immediately, she just cried for hours on end, feeling sorry for herself as per usual, or so it seemed to her. She missed her friends, even though they were right here, missed her sister and even felt herself missing the old Spike. The vampire Spike. That awarded her body a little tingle. What the hell is wrong with you Slayer?
Buffy rolled out of bed and onto her feet reluctantly. Today was the next day. Oh so not looking forward to this.
The Slayer lazily threw herself on the couch, her head was still banging from the crying herself to sleep. And the inevitable chat this morning promised was wearing at her nerves. Buffy felt a slight tug at her heart when she saw Spike, who was still hovering over the stove, slightly turning towards her and nodding, barely acknowladging her presance. So Buffy lay still, an arm swept over her eyes, straining to block out the impending sunlight. She wasn't sure how long she had been laying there before a gruff voice awoke her from her half sleep. "Breakfast's done."
Buffy stood slowly and made her way into the kitchen. As she sat, a plate was slammed down in front of her. "Thanks." She mumbled, still staring at the pancakes. They were absolutely adorable. Little heart shaped pancakes. Buffy looked up at Spike, tears in her eyes. "Thank you." She said, the confusion fully out of her voice, replaced by gratitude.
"S'alright. Decided it was my turn to apologize." Spike didn't even turn her way. He was busying himself, making a big show of cleaning up after himself. When he finally turned around and looked upon her face, Spike's eyes clouded with regret. He stumbled over to her, still almost half asleep. "Luv, please don't cry. I'm sorry."
Buffy didn't say a word, she just buried her head into his chest and had herself another cry.
God, how was it she made him feel this way? He thouroughly enjoyed the way Buffy had latched onto him, warming his cool skin. The tears had his shirt sticking wetly to his chest, and Spike let a sigh pass through his lips. He would have done anything to stop her from crying. This...this thing that was between them, whatever was between them...Couldn't even be stopped by another demension Buffy. She was his Buffy, still the same girl. Slightly more mature and more heartbroken than his other Slayer...But his none the less.
He slowly pet her hair and whispered reassurances in her ear, soothing and comforting her. Buffy pulled back and Spike reluctantly let go. "I'm ready to tell you now."
Spike was dazed. He was angered that this Riley fellow had hurt her, but wasn't sure who was worse off. Riley screwing up with the woman he had presumably loved....or other demension Spike....Who never even had the chance.
"I ran as fast as I could." Buffy said darkly, poking her fork at her heart shaped pancakes. "But it wasn't fast enough."
Spike snorted which earned a look from the Slayer. "Blokes a bloody imbecile to be running from you, luv. If I had a girl like you I wouldn't bloody let you out of my sight."
"Well I know...you never did." She laughed.
"I guess we're talking about vampire me then, huh?"
Buffy nodded. "You're always following me, stepping in when you think I need protecting. Confessing your love to me constantly. Always trying your hardest. One time you even chained up your sire and me and said you'd stake her for me." She ran a hand subconciously through her golden locks. Spike licked his lips. If only that could be his hand. But he promised himself he'd back off. After hearing her story with Riley, he wasn't sure a man on her heels would be what she needed, much less what she wanted.
"And how do you react to him...well me?"
Buffy jerked her head up to him, eyes wide with sadness. "I never give you the time of day...Just a good beating." She grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry."
It was Spike's turn to stare at the linoleum floor. He suddenly remembered the fight the night before, her cocking her fist back and threatening to punch him, thinking it was what turned him on. He wasn't sure what should be going through his mind right now. The fact that she treated him like a bint hurt him. But there was also the vampire and slayer hurdle that still needed jumping. He had no doubt in his mind that this Spike was in love with her.
"No need to apologize to me luv. I'm sure that Spike would run blind in the woods for you."
"Blind in the woods?"
Spike surpressed a laugh, biting his cheeks. "As in facing the chances of a branch through the heart."
Buffy's face visibly darkened. "Oh."
Spike took time to rake in her appearance. He hadn't looked at anything but her face all morning, not feeling it right at the moment, but he couldn't bare it any longer, his horomones were kicking into over drive. Buffy decided to go au naturale. Just a regular wife beater with grey sweatpants. He wasn't even too sure she was sporting a bra, at least he couldn't tell from the tiny bumps on her breasts which clearly looked like hardened nipples. He felt his pants tighten uncomfortably. He couldn't take it any longer. Spike buried his long fingers in her hair and cupped her cheek gently with his free hand.
"If he feels the way I feel...He'll never stop loving you."
Buffy's heart was racing as she stared intently at his thick lips. She licked her own nervously and bit her bottom lip. She inwardly wondered if this was what love felt like. A series of butterflies whacking away in the pit of her stomach, heart beating swiftly in her chest, wanting to be close every minute of the day and too scared to blink, fearing she would find herself back in her bedroom, crying over Riley. She wasn't too sure if she was in love with Riley, or if she had been grieving his leaving because it was the same move every man in her life made. Well except for Spike.
Buffy moved her head inches towards Spike's, her heart now pounding so rapidly, she was absolutely sure they both could hear it. If she didn't know better, she would swear it was about to break through her chest. Her eyes fluttered shut as Spike's lips grazed her own. She reached to the back of his head to deepen the kiss, but he didn't budge. Instead, he was flowering kisses all over her face before pulling back to look her in the eyes.
"Buffy I--"
She hushed him and hurried back into his warm embrace before being jolted back by his insistance.
"No I have to tell you something luv. I am in love with you. With this Buffy and old Buffy. It doesn't matter. I love you."
Buffy planned her next words carefully, for this was the most delicate time to say the wrong thing.
Sunnydale--Real time
Willow had the slightest inkling that something was up in Buffyland. But this wasn't the time to think about that, not here of all places. While she was nervously tapping her converse gym shoes against the hard, cold floor of the hospital, the days weird occurances rushed through her mind. First and foremost was Joyce's outburst. The harsh words that flew past the mother's sweet lips stunned Willow into a cold silence, that is until she came down a few hours later, ready for her appointment with the doctor.
The stairs let out a quiet creak, making Willow practically jump in her skin. She whipped her head around, red hair smacking her face, Joyce's face was staring down before her. "Oh hello Willow." A gracious smile was perched upon her lips, surrounding her in a flourecent glow.
It seemed as if she remembered nothing of before, reminding Willow that she seemed nervous and scoffed at the young adult's fears of her doctor's appointment. "No need to worry dear, now we should get going before we're late."
And now, a few hours later, she was still waiting.
Willow's heart sank as a doctor stepped outside. His face was familiar...What was his name...Ben Williamson?
"Hello Doctor." She tried to say, but it only came out just above a whisper.
"Please, call me Ben." So she was right.
"Yes. So about Joyce..."
Ben's eyes grew darker and a sympethetic smile crossed his face. Where it was supposed to bring comfort, only brought Willow's heart closer to dread. Oh Goddess...
"Well Ms Rosenburg. It seems as if Joyce has a clogged vein in the left side of the brain. We're now prepped for an emergency surgery. We will get this fixed right up. But I must warn you, if there is no blood flow to her brain...I'm sorry there is nothing we can do."
Willow's heart melted at the man's words, and was suddenly very, very dizzy. She needed to sit down.
"But I assure you, more often then not, we're able to get in there without any problems." He smiled before excusing himself and heading back into the long corridor.