That night, Buffy had trouble falling asleep. She had received a call earlier that evening from the police department, telling her that several other girls had come forward to testify against Lindsey.

‘So apparently I’m not the first girl he hit,’ she thought, sighing as she opened her eyes and looked outside. ‘Who knows how many others there are, even. I guess it really was a good idea to turn him in. There was no reason for me to protect him- he’s abusive and deserves to be in jail.’ She took a deep breath. ‘And thank god I didn’t fall for his pathetic excuses or lies.’ She closed her eyes again. ‘I can’t wait for a lawyer to throw the book at him. He deserves to be made some guy’s bitch in prison.’ She giggled to herself and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Some time in the night, she began to toss and turn, getting tangled up in her sheets as she had a flashback dream she didn’t particularly want to relive.

Buffy came home from the funeral and sat on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen.

‘My mom is gone,’ she thought, tears forming in her eyes. ‘She’s dead…buried…I’m never going to see my mother again.’ She began sobbing for perhaps the tenth time that day. She was beginning to calm down when she heard the doorbell ring. She stood up and walked to the door, furiously trying to wipe off her eyes and cheeks so that it wouldn’t appear that she was crying.

When she was faced with Spike, she looked at him, both surprised and upset that he was there.

‘Of all the people who could’ve shown up on my doorstep tonight, it’s him,’ she thought, crossing her arms. She raised an eyebrow when he sighed and put his hands in his pockets.

“Hi, Buffy,” he said quietly, noticing that her eyes were red and her cheeks were splotchy.

‘She may be hell on wheels, but she doesn’t deserve to live through pain like this,’ he thought. ‘Especially on her own.’

“Where’s Hank?” he asked, looking around.

“He went back to L.A. for the night,” she answered, looking down. “He has some stuff to finalize at work before he moves here to run the gallery for a while.”

“You’re by yourself?” he asked, and she nodded, biting back tears.

‘I never used to be here alone,’ she thought. ‘Mom was always here. Always.’ A tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek. Spike saw it and extended his hand to gently wipe it away with his thumb. She looked at him and saw that his eyes were watery, too. Before she could think about what she was doing, she hugged him and buried her face in his shoulder, sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to be strong for her, even though he was crying with her. As her shoulders began shaking from the force of her sobs, he stroked her hair and tried to calm her down.

‘But how do you console someone who just lost their mum?’ he thought sadly. ‘There’s nothing you can do to make it better.’

She broke away from him and wiped off her eyes, thankful she hadn’t worn mascara that day.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, not looking at him. “Your shirt looks horrible.” He waved it off.

“Just a shirt,” he replied. “Doesn’t matter.” She smiled softly and looked at him. He managed a small smile. “Are you okay, luv? Do you want me to stay?”

“I…I don’t want to be alone,” she said, slowly moving closer to him again. His eyes widened as she leaned up to kiss him.

‘What is she doing?’ he thought. ‘This isn’t right…oh, screw it.’ He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back gently, still confused and surprised by the sudden change in her. As the kiss intensified, Buffy pushed Spike’s jacket off of his shoulders and broke away to look up at him.

“Will you stay for a while?” she asked anxiously, taking his hand in hers as he nodded. She pulled him towards the stairs, but he stopped her before she could step on the first stair.

“Pet, doing anything more than kissing probably isn’t a good idea,” he said, mentally kicking himself for suddenly having a conscience. “We’re both sad…I don’t think it’s right.”

“I need you,” she said, looking at him, and he could see the sincerity in her eyes. “And I know that we’re both sad, but maybe we just need to comfort each other.” He took a deep breath before kissing her again. She smiled against his lips. “Now, can we go upstairs already?”

“Okay,” he said, nodding. She led him up to her bedroom and closed the door behind them. “Isn’t it just us here?” She nodded, looking at him. “So why did you close the door?”

“I don’t know,” she answered, frowning. “Just seemed like the right thing to do, I guess.” He smiled at her and kissed her, pulling her close to him. She worked on unbuttoning his shirt while he kicked off his shoes and took off his belt. She slid his shirt down his arms and off, letting it fall to the floor. She looked at his exposed torso and unconsciously licked her lips.

‘I always knew he had to be somewhat muscular,’ she thought. ‘And I definitely wasn’t wrong.’ She ran her hands slowly down his chest and abs, stopping when her fingers reached the closure of his pants. She looked into his eyes, searching for permission, and was surprised to see how lust-filled his eyes suddenly seemed to be.

“Are you sure about this, Buffy?” he asked quietly. “Because if we start, I don’t know how easy it will be to stop.” She slid off her shirt and unclasped her bra, tossing it aside, before looking at his reaction. He looked at her dreamily for a moment before his gaze became hungry once again. He rested his hands on her hips and slowly slid his hands up her sides before gently cupping her breasts in his hands and smiling when she moaned quietly from the contact.

“I’m sure,” she answered, undoing the button on his pants and sliding the zipper down before pushing his pants down his slim hips and letting them fall to his feet. She looked at his impressive erection and bit back a smirk.

‘Always thought he’d be well-endowed, too,’ she thought. ‘And thank god I wasn’t wrong about that.’ He watched her evaluating him and smiled.

“See anything you want, sweetheart?” he asked in a low tone, and she looked at him coyly.

“Yeah,” she answered, wrapping her hand around the base of his erection, getting him to groan loudly. “Is this alright?”

“It’s bloody fantastic,” he managed to say as she began to move her hand up and down his shaft, applying a slight amount of pressure. “Take anything you’d like, baby. You can have anything.”

“I’ll take anything I can,” she said, looking into his eyes.


She bolted upright in bed, breathing heavily and sweating slightly.

“It was all my fault that night,” she said quietly, trying to regulate her breathing. “This has all been my fault.”





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