Author's Chapter Notes:
Awards Won; Best AU runner up at the Dark Moon Awards (second round) and Best WIP in the Of Stakes and Spells Awards (last round)! Yay, awards make me happy! (And so do reviews!) :D
Present Day

Knock knock knock.

Buffy walked over to the door, her nerves making her palms sweat and her knees shake. She didn't even need to look through the peep hole to know who was at the other side of the door. She had been expecting him. Quickly readjusting her skirt and smoothing her hair, she let out a deep breath to attempt to calm her frazzled nerves and swung the door open.

The sight that greeted her was a familiar one. Though she could tell the man that stood before her wasn’t exactly the same. He wasn't her William. Not anymore. Sure, he had the same platinum hair, high sculpted cheekbones, an air of predatory confidence that screamed "Bad boy", though she knew it was merely a facade that served to hide the romantic nature she knew he possessed. But she only had to glance into the cerulean depths of his eyes to notice the difference. Where there had once been sparkle and life was now emptyness. Gone was the happy twinkle, the spark he had when they were together, and in its place was a dullness, a hollow nothing that only spoke of one emotion: sadness. He was a broken man. Just as she knew she had never felt whole after he had left.

She snapped out of her reverie, knowing she had to make this inevitable meeting worthwhile. Tears stung the backs of her eyes, though she refused to let them show. Without further hesitation, she stepped forward and wrapped him in an embrace, reveling in the way it felt to be in his arms once again, though knowing it would never again be as it was before. She buried her face in his chest as his strong arms tightened around her, as though he was afraid she would disapear if he let go.

Buffy allowed herself to close her eyes and enjoy the moment before reality once again intervened. After a brief pause, she spoke.

"It's good to see you again, William."

"It's good to see you too, Buffy." He buried his face in her golden hair, breathing in her scent and silently cursing the misfortunes that had changed their lives so drastically. "I've missed you." He whispered, barely audibly.

With that Buffy reluctantly pulled back from his embrace, looking up at him with a sorrowful smile. "I missed you too."

She stepped aside, gesturing for him to come in. He gave a nod as she granted him entrance into her apartment, and once again, into her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flashback


Buffy raced up the stairs, unwilling to waste any time waiting for the slower-than-molasses-in-January elevator. Her short legs exerted themselves to the limit to carry her up three flights in record time, barely able to contain her excitement as she came to a halt in front of her apartment door, breathless and frantically digging through her purse to find her keys. After several frustrating moments of searching, her small hand finally emerged triumphant.

‘Damn purse’ She thought ‘How is it the keys always manage to bury themselves in the damn bottom’ She fumbled with the key, finally managing to turn the lock and push the door open.

“William! Babe, I’m home! And you’ll never guess what happened to me today!”

She was so caught up in her excitement she hadn’t even noticed him sneak up behind her. A squeal of excitement and surprise escaped her lips when she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist from behind while he leaned in to nibble on her ear lobe.

“And what’d that be, pet?” his husky voice purred, warm breath tickling her ear. She turned in his arms, looking into the eyes of her husband of nearly a year before bringing her arms up to wrap around his neck, her fingers playing in his soft platinum curls.

“Guess” She said with a coquettish smile, not caring she sounded like a giddy schoolgirl. He arched a scarred eyebrow in response.

“Hmm, let’s see . . . you got an amazing deal on the cutest pair of shoes – “ he started in a mocking high pitched voice, abruptly cut off when she slapped him playfully on the chest.

“No, you jerk. Guess again” She withdrew herself from his embrace to slip out of her coat and hang it on the hook, turning to face him with her arms crossed as she awaited his response.

“Uuh, you thought about me all day and got your friends all jealous over my tight little body?” He curled his tongue behind his teeth suggestively, earning an annoyed eye roll from Buffy.

“Um, conceited much?” He chuckled at that. “And that’d be another big No. You suck at this guessing thing” She pouted, sticking out her lower lip and giving her best puppy dog eyes.

“Oh, pouty – look at that lip – gonna get it –“ He said as he walked towards her, bending down with every intent of ravaging her mouth good and proper, until she put her hands on his chest to halt his advance.

"Hey, no smoochies until you hear me out, mister." She poked him pointedly in the chest to punctuate her words. Now it was his turn to pout.

"Alright then. Come with me to the kitchen while I check on dinner and you can tell me all about what happened."

She followed him into the kitchen, watching while he busied himself stirring spaghetti sauce and making sure the garlic bread in the oven hadn't burned. Once he was finished, he turned to face her.

"So what happened kitten?”

Buffy leaned against the counter, barely able to contain her excitement anymore as she bit her lip.
“Well I found out something today. . .” She started, trying to look as innocent as possible before she finally let it slip,
“I’m pregnant.”

Silence.

Buffy started to fidget, suddenly incredibly nervous due to his lack of response. William just continued to stare at her, his face an emotionless mask.

“Uh, Will, aren’t you gonna say anything?” At her words he seemed to snap out of his daze, locking his gaze with hers.

“A baby?” He asked, eyes suddenly lighting up. She nodded hesitantly.

“Yes, honey, that’s usually the end result of pregnancy.”

He began to walk toward her, a smile creasing his handsome features. "We’re having a baby?” Buffy nodded again, this time with more assurance when she saw the brilliant smile that lit up his face. She grinned back at him.

“Luv, that’s wonderful news!” It seemed to finally click with him as he quickly enveloped her in a tight hug, spinning her around in a circle as she giggled wildly. He placed her back onto her feet and stepped back slightly so he could look into her eyes, bringing up his hands to caress the sides of her face. She felt like she was drowning in those cerulean depths, mesmerized by the love shining from them.

“We’re gonna be parents.” He murmured. She nodded again, raising her hand to stroke his chiseled cheekbone.

“You’re gonna be a great father.” She smiled up at him, and the smile he returned could have lit up all of New York City.

“And you’re gonna be an amazing mum.” He paused to run his hand through her golden tresses before letting it trail downwards, finally coming to rest on her stomach. He watched in amazement as his hand made gentle circles, caressing the place that housed his child. “God I love you” He murmured when he met her gaze again.

“I love you too W-“ but she was cut off as his lips descended upon hers, taking her breath away. He kissed her passionately, his tongue tracing her bottom lip, demanding entrance, which she didn’t hesitate to give. His arms tightened around her waist while hers wrapped around his neck, their tongues exploring each other’s eager mouths.

Buffy moaned as William ground the evidence of his arousal against her, feeling like she would collapse if not for his arms around her. The kiss went on and on for what seemed like an eternity yet when Buffy finally pulled away to inhale some much needed oxygen, it felt far too soon. She gazed into his lust filled eyes, knowing hers were mirroring the desire.

Suddenly, she broke out of her daze, wrinkling her nose as she sniffed the air.

“Uh, I think the bread is burning.” She chuckled. Spike growled impatiently.

“Sod the bread” He responded huskily as he bent down and swept her up into his arms, carrying her to the bedroom with Buffy giggling uncontrollably the whole way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present Day

William entered her apartment, taking in his surroundings. It was just the way he remembered it, only this time it felt different, as if the air itself that filled the room was burdened with the same sorrow he felt every day. He knew there was so much to discuss, so many things to get out in the open. Many secrets to be revealed, many apologies to be made, many stories to be told. William shook his head, wondering how it had all come to this. Life certainly has its way of throwing you for a loop, and he couldn’t believe that not even two years ago they were togetherand blissfully happy, completely in love and devoted to each other with a baby on the way. At the time, they both felt like they were on top of the world, until the world itself seemed to have been ripped out from under them. How had it come to this?

Buffy closed the door behind him and followed him into the living room. He settled himself onto the leather couch, looking slightly uncomfortable and apprehensive, and she knew he was just as nervous as she was. They hadn’t seen each other in months. After what felt like an eternity she finally broke the deafening silence.

“You look good, Will.” He offered a tight smile in response.

“So do you. Just as beautiful as I remember.” She met his eyes then, feeling those familiar butterflies that even after being with him for 3 years had never gone away. She was still in love with him, of that she had no doubt. He was everything she had ever wanted in a man, kind, loving, passionate . . . . . and they had been so happy, until a cruel twist of fate turned their entire lives upside down, and everything changed. The veil was lifted and suddenly she knew she could never be that same naive girl that still believed in happy endings, for those didn't exist. Fate didn’t seem to want that for her. But as she gazed upon his familiar form, she couldn’t help but envision a future with him, hope that circumstances could work in their favor for once. The house, the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, why couldn't they still have it?

But reality once again slapped her in the face as she remembered why they weren't together in the first place. Too much had happened. There had been heartache, deceit, lies . . . . too much had been against their relationship for it to ever work in the long run. When and if they reconciled, where would they go, what would they do? How would things change?

Both sat quietly as they contemplated what to say next, desperately wanting to make it count, to convey all the emotion they had been forced to keep bottled up for far to long. Buffy offered William tea, which he politely declined, before leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Her heart leapt into her throat as she realized now was the moment, now came the conversation that could make or break them, that could change everything.

It was time to bring it all out into the open once and for all. William raised his head and met her gaze, blue meeting green, and for the first time she saw just how vulnerable he was, laying his soul bare before her.

After a long hesitation, William let out a breath and began to speak, hoping against hope this was when the healing could finally begin.




A/N: OK, so there's the first chapter. It's kind of just a set up for what is to come, so hang in there. There will be plenty of action and plenty of drama (and romance!) to come. Hope you like it so far - let me know what you think. Should I keep going with this story? Pssst - Hint: Writer loves reviews :) Hehe

Oh, and I almost forgot the all important disclaimer. Joss & Co. own everything, and I'm just a peon who owns nothing 'cept my own crazy imagination. And boy is it crazy ;)





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