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Rupert stayed to help his son and Buffy until her wounds had healed considerably and she could almost move around on her own again, before returning to England. William was glad that his father was there for support, though they had never been particularly close, as he and Jenny had divorced when William was 18, which was when he had moved home to England. Though Rupert always remained in contact with his ex-wife and son, making frequent phone calls and visiting when he could.

Once Rupert left and the initial trauma wore off, Buffy became increasingly withdrawn and closed off to the world, barely even spending any time with her friends Willow and Xander. She spent more and more time at the gallery (which she had taken over after her mom’s death), and devoted all of her time to her work. Buffy hadn't even shed so much as a single tear since the accident, not even at Jenny's funeral, though William could tell she was hurting. Whenever she saw a small child, a flicker of sorrow would etch across her delicate features. William always saw it, but whenever he tried to comfort her, to get her to talk about anything even remotely related to the accident, she would instantly close herself off and say she didn't feel like talking.

William couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t Buffy – it was just an imposter walking around with her exterior, nothing more. For his Buffy was full of life, full of spark, and this one was nothing but an empty, hollow shell.

William started to go out more and more so as not to have to deal with the pain of losing his wife on top of everything else. He had lost his mother, his child, and now he was losing Buffy, too. Maybe not physically, but he could see that she was distancing herself from him, and he didn't want to have to face that reality. So instead he went out drinking with Clem, because if he came home drunk he didn't have to think about the pain.

Both were afraid to face the pain, so they kept it all inside, closed off to the world. Everything had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long and it was bound to boil over, which it eventually did. It was the night that made them realize things needed to change, that they couldn’t keep going on like this, and the consequence of their self involved actions finally reared its ugly head. It was the night all hell broke loose.


Flashback

Buffy untied her smock and set it aside, taking a step back to admire her work. She threw down her brush with frustration as she surveyed the end result.

‘My work just hasn’t been the same lately’ She thought bitterly. Maybe it was just her being overly critical, but especially her being blind in one eye seemed to severely affect her work.

‘Well, at least I didn’t actually lose an eye like poor Xander. Eye patches wouldn’t exactly complement my wardrobe.’

Buffy practically jumped right out of her skin when she looked up to see William standing in her doorway, looking rather unhappy.

"This ends now," He growled. Buffy just stared blankly at him, confused.

"What does?"

William took a menacing step closer. "Who the hell is Angel? And why did the ponce leave a message confirming your date for tomorrow?" He demanded, head tilted as he surveyed her reaction, "Are you cheating on me, Buffy? Is that why you've been avoiding me lately?"

Buffy's mouth dropped open, completely shocked by what he had just said. "How could you accuse me of cheating? I'd never cheat on you, Will!" She had no idea where all this was coming from, but she didn't like it. " In case you've forgotten, that's exactly what my father did to my mother. You think I'd want to repeat the pattern?" She exclaimed, arms crossed tightly over her chest as she huffed.

"Still haven't answered the question, Pet."

Buffy shook her head in disbelief. "Angel is a potential buyer for some of the most valuable pieces in the gallery. We're discussing business over lunch tomorrow. Happy now?" William was still watching her intently, his voice unwavering.

"Then why didn't you tell me, Buffy? Why are you keeping all of this from me?" He raised his voice a little, taking another step closer.

"Will, what are you talking about?"

He was now standing directly in front of her. "You've been closing yourself off to me, Buffy. You barely even talk to me anymore. You keep pushing me away!"

Buffy sighed loudly as she met his gaze with defiance, "We're not talking about this right now," She stated matter-of-factly, moving to walk past him and out the door.

Before she could, William grabbed her by the upper arms and roughly pinned her against the wall, preventing her escape.

"Yes, we bloody well are!" He said through gritted teeth, "I'm your husband, dammit, and you're trying to cut me out of your life!" He accused, and as he leaned closer, it was then that she smelled the alcohol on his breath. She cowered slightly under his glare before raising her chin and speaking calmly.

"Will, you're clearly drunk. Again. Maybe now's not the best time to talk about these things." She tried to wriggle free but William only tightened his grip on her arms, pushing her more forcibly against the wall.

He leaned closer, his face now inches from hers. "Now's as good a time as any," He replied coldly. "So tell me, pet, why have you been shutting me out?"

Her eyes widened. "I haven't been shutting you out!"

"Really, you coulda fooled me," He snorted, jaw clenched.

She sighed irritably, "Will, I really don't want to talk about this right now." She put her hands up to his chest to try to push him out of the way, but he wouldn’t budge, intent on finishing the conversation.

"Then when, dammit!? When are you willing to talk, because it's been months now and still nothing's changed. So tell me, princess, when have you decided is a good time for us to bloody talk!" William seethed, fire burning in his eyes, "Or maybe I could ask your boyfriend, Angel," He added through gritted teeth.

Buffy's chest was heaving now, her heart thumping faster as her anger grew. "What the Hell is your problem?" She demanded.

"My problem is you won't soddin talk to me! All you've been doing is painting your stupid bloody pictures, and you hardly even look at me anymore!" He retorted, his grip on her arms now bruising.

"Yeah," Buffy said with pure venom in her voice, "Well maybe I can't stand to look at you, at what you're becoming. At least I don't come home drunk every night!" Buffy stared back at him with an icy glare, nostrils flaring, "So have you been taking lessons from good old Rupes, Will? Is that what you want, to be a chip off the old block, looking for answers at the bottom of a fucking bottle? Turning into a pathetic drunk like dear old daddy?"

Those words made William see red, and in one quick move he raised his arm and backhanded Buffy across the face. Hard.

She instantly raised a hand to her stinging cheek, eyes wide and mouth open, completely stunned. William had never hit her before. And the second he realized what he had done, he regretted it, instantly sobering up at his harsh actions.

“Oh God, Buffy, I – “ He reached a hand toward her but she backed away, flinching. William closed his eyes and felt his heart clench. The last thing he wanted was to make Buffy fear him. “Pet, please don’t be afraid, I-I didn’t mean to hurt you, I-“

Buffy just continued to stare at him tearfully, unmoving. William met her gaze, pure sorrow and regret etched across his features, before leaving the room.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Hours later, Buffy laid in an empty bed, staring blankly at the ceiling when she heard the front door open and close. Knowing William was home, she instantly closed her eyes and feigned sleep as he entered their bedroom.

He stood completely still for a moment, gazing at his wife’s sleeping form, watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed, before making his way over to her side of the bed. He knelt beside her, listening to her breathing to see if she was awake. William stayed in that position for a long while, just staring at her, cringing when he noticed her swollen cheek in the soft glow of moonlight where the imprint of his hand remained clearly defined. Ghosting his fingers tenderly over the sensitive area, he began to speak.

“I’m so sorry, Buffy.” He whispered tearfully, receiving no response from his sleeping wife. He continued, “I love you so much, kitten. I always will.” With those words he slowly bent down, lightly brushing his lips across her forehead.

He stood then and took one last longing look at his wife, trying to commit every single detail to memory, before turning and walking out the door.

*****

Buffy woke up alone that morning, her eyes instantly coming to rest on the folded sheet of paper that sat on the vacant pillow beside her. Her hands trembled and her stomach sank as she opened the note and began reading:

Dear Buffy,
Words cannot express how much I regret my actions last night. I had no right to hit you, and knowing that I hurt you tears me up inside more than you could know. You were right, I am turning into my father. But he was able to overcome his addiction, which is what I intend to do as well. I have a problem, Buffy. As you said, I can’t look to the bottom of a bottle to solve my problems, not anymore, which is why I am going to England. My father has been through all this before, so he can be there to guide me as I fight this addiction. I think it’s for the best that we face our problems alone. How can we fix our relationship when we are both broken people? I don’t trust myself around you anymore, not until I get better. I don’t want to risk hurting you again. Things should never have gotten as out of hand as they did last night, and I fear we’ve been ignoring our problems for far too long. We’ve been shutting each other out because we’ve been too caught up in our own pain and selfish needs to realize that things just haven’t been the same since the accident. But just believe that I’m not leaving you, Buffy, I’m leaving us, just for a little while. I want to become a better man, a man worthy of being in a relationship with you, a man that doesn’t rely on drinking to solve his problems. I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye, but I felt it was for the best, that it was less painful this way with no chance for us to change our minds, because I really think we need this time apart. I will call you as soon as I arrive in England, and I hope that the next time I see you I will be a changed man. I promise that once this is all settled I will come home to you, Buffy. Please believe that, and know how much I love you. I always will, until the day I die, and nothing will ever change that. You’re my heart and my soul, and I’ll miss you every second while I’m gone.
Love always,
William

When Buffy finished reading, tears were streaming down her face as she clutched the letter so tightly to her chest that her knuckles turned white. She knew he had been right last night, that she had been shutting him out along with everyone else, and that she was just as much to blame for their problems.

She missed him terribly while he was gone, talking to him on the phone as much as possible, needing to hear his voice. After several months of being apart, William finally kept his promise. He called Buffy, and told her he was coming home.


Present Day

Buffy woke up, feeling well-rested for the first time in months. She panicked for a brief second, wondering if last night had been only a dream, until she felt the warm body pressed against her back, and the strong arms wrapped around her torso. She turned around in William’s arms to face him, seeing that he was still sleeping peacefully. He looked like a little boy in his sleep, so young and innocent, and she smiled at the familiar sight. She couldn’t help but reach out and brush a curl of blond hair off his forehead, running her hands ever so gently over his striking features, tracing his lips with her fingers, light as a feather. When she felt him kiss her fingertips, she snapped out of her daze and looked up to meet a pair of sparkling blue eyes gazing back at her, a slightly amused smile playing on his mouth.

“Hey, you,” he greeted.

She returned his smile, “Hey, yourself,” she responded softly, “Sleep well?”

“Mm, very. You?” He inquired.

“Same.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for several long moments, reveling in the feel of waking up next to each other again. Buffy was the first to snap out of it, sitting up in bed and stretching her tired muscles.

“Well,” She began, “Why don’t we go talk in the kitchen over a nice big breakfast. What d’ya say?”

William nodded agreeably, “Sounds great, pet.”

Some scrambled eggs, toast, and two cups of tea later, it was time to get down to business. William was the first to speak, his tone quiet and mournful.

“I should never have gone to work that day,” He said quietly, regret dripping from his voice. “I had this feeling . . . . I knew something was gonna happen, I knew it. But I thought it was just me being paranoid. You know, being overprotective and always fearing the worst.” He sighed loudly, “Why’d I have to take my soddin’ job so damn seriously? If I’d have just listened to my gut that day, trusted my instincts and stayed home with you, none of it would have happened.” He finished averting his eyes from her gaze.

Buffy knitted her eyebrows together in disbelief. “Will, please don’t tell me you blame yourself?” William didn’t answer, still staring down into his cup of tea in silence.

“Will,” Buffy coaxed, placing her hand over his on top of the table and giving it a gentle squeeze, “None of it was your fault. There was no way you could have known something like that would happen.” Buffy paused for a minute and let out a long breath before continuing, “If anything, it was my fault.” William’s head snapped up at that, confusion apparent in his features.

“Your fault?” He inquired, “How?”

Buffy pulled her hand from his and placed it in her lap, wringing it nervously as she continued. “I was the one driving.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re to blame” He quickly interjected

She shook her head, “Please let me finish, Will,” She waited for him to reluctantly agree before continuing. “Let’s face it, I’m largely to blame for everything. The accident, the separation . . . . You were right. I did shut you out, along with everyone else.” She took in a deep breath and bit her lip, “When my mom died, I handled it. But she died from cancer. I always knew it would eventually come, that it was inevitable, so I had time to prepare. But this . . . . it was my idea to go to the store that day, and I was the one driving. I panicked, Will, and I froze. When I had to swerve, I completely froze. I didn’t even hit the goddamned breaks! I had plenty of time to react and I didn’t, and now because of me Jenny’s dead, and Dawn-“

William finally had to cut her off, not willing to sit back and listen to her blame herself any longer. He shook his head emphatically. “Buffy, the accident was not your fault! It was that wanker’s fault who cut you off in the first place, who didn’t tie down those boards like he should’ve!” Buffy still refused to listen.

“Yeah, well, your drinking was my fault, too. I-I pushed you away. I pushed everyone away! You tried to talk to me and comfort me but I didn’t want to be helped. I felt like I didn’t deserve help, because it was all my fault to begin with. I couldn’t deal with the pain, and I lost you. I drove you to drink because I wasn’t there anymore!”

William spoke firmly, desperately trying to make her see reason. “No, Buffy, I could have dealt with it differently. You didn’t hold a bottle to my lips every night, you didn’t force me to drink. I had a problem and I needed help." He paused, making sure he had her attention, before he continued, "You can’t be held responsible for my actions. I should have been there to help you more, to do something better – “ Buffy once again interrupted.

“But you couldn’t have, because I wouldn’t let you! I’m a horrible person, Will!” She hung her head, ashamed, and William reached across the table and entwined both his hands with hers, willing her to listen.

“You listen to me, Buffy. In my whole life, there’s only one thing I’ve ever been sure of: you.” When she still didn't look at him, he leaned across the table and freed one of his hands so he could tilt her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Hey, look at me." He said, his tone soft and nonjudgemental, "When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you. It’s got nothing to do with me.” A single burning tear blazed a trail down Buffy’s cheek as she listened to his beautiful speech. “I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are," He paused briefly, "You’re a hell of a woman, Buffy.” She smiled weakly through her tears, her heart brimming with love for the man who was now freely baring his soul to her.

Before she had time to think about what she was doing, she leaned across the table and her lips were on his. When their mouths melded and she felt the warmth radiating from him, her body almost broke out in a chorus of “Hallelujah” at how right it felt. He responded instantly, his lips dancing across hers. The kiss went on and on until William finally broke away, standing up so he could pull Buffy around the table and into his arms. He crushed his mouth to hers again, their tongues dueling as hands explored, groped, caressed, trying to feel every inch they could reach, reacquainting themselves with each other’s bodies.

They stumbled towards the bedroom, fumbling while they frantically shed their clothes along the way, mouths fused the entire time. By the time they reached the bedroom, both were completely naked and gasping for breath, hearts racing a mile a minute. William scooped her up and kneeled on the bed with her in his arms, gently setting her down on the firm mattress. He bent over and captured her mouth in another searing kiss, tracing her lips with his tongue, before he moved to cover her body with his. She felt the hard lines of his body pressing her into the mattress, and her hands moved to caress his back, fingertips tracing muscles that flexed under smooth skin. She closed her eyes, lost in ecstasy, and her entire body felt like it was on fire as his mouth abandoned her lips to move across her jaw, trailing burning hot kisses down her neck, nipping at her throat hungrily. Buffy moaned when his roaming hands came to rest between her legs, his talented fingers probing her warm center, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves, damp with the evidence of her arousal.

“Oh God!” Buffy moaned, throwing her head back onto the pillows as she gasped with pleasure. “Need you, Will. Need you right now!”

Without further hesitation, William lifted his head and met her gaze, and in one quick move he was fully sheathed inside of her. Both of them gasped at the feeling, eyes wide as they marveled over how right it felt.

It felt like coming home.

William’s breath came out in short spurts as he struggled to maintain control. After a few moments, he grasped both of Buffy’s hands, pinning them at either side of her head as he laced his fingers with hers. Then, he began to move, setting a slow, steady rhythm, thrusting as deep as he could go.

When he noticed Buffy’s eyes were closed, he bent down and lightly kissed both her eyelids before whispering, “Open your eyes, Buffy. Look at me.”

Buffy’s eyelids fluttered open and she met his gaze, seeing the blue eyes that were now almost darkened to black with pure lust, shining with love for her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her mouth opening and closing as she felt the release steadily building inside of her, the sweet friction William provided driving her wild.

Feeling her body tense with her approaching climax, William sped up his pace, pumping faster and faster as she moaned and writhed beneath him, her eyes glazed over with pleasure.

Knowing how close she was, William leaned down, his warm breath tickling her ear as he spoke, his voice husky and low. “I love you, Buffy." He whispered, " I never stopped.”

With those words Buffy cried out, her entire body bucking wildly as her orgasm washed over her, shock waves of pleasure making her feel as though she were floating and would never return from her high.

William continued to move frantically, desperate for his own release. With one last thrust, he emptied himself within her, burying his face in her neck as he followed her into bliss.



A/N In this chapter I was trying to convey how, in the face of tragedy they let their own insecurities get in the way and were too caught up in their own pain to notice their marriage was suffering. It took that kind of a confrontation to make them realize things needed to change. They both dealt with their pain differently, but didn’t communicate like they should have which is what lead to their separation. They needed time apart to deal with their own problems first before they could work on their relationship, which is the stage they’re at now (healing and rebuilding).

Also I’m sorry there’s been so many flashbacks, but I’ve needed them to tell the story of what happened in their past so far. I know they can be confusing so I promise after this chapter there will be very few (if any) flashbacks, because I want to focus on the present, with Buffy and William rebuilding their relationship.

And yes, I did include a part of the ‘Touched’ speech in this chapter (because I love it so much). And sorry this is such a long A/N – there’s just a lot that needed explaining, LOL.

And special thanks to: Bint, dreamgirl4eva, Dee, BuffyandSpikeForever, melissa, tiggerratty, Kimber, Caitie, and Sevvy_O for your reviews
(OK, I’m done talking now, I promise, lol)





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