dreamgirl4eva - The notion of sensing familial vampires through sire-childe bonds is a fan fic invention and not something that was explored on the show, therefore it's not something I choose to use in this fic.

hollowtear, Steph, Bernardette, Pin, Franchesca, s.p. hudson - Thank you kindly for the lovely reviews, encouragement and support. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

***

Chapter 2

He held the unconscious Slayer through most of the night. She was out cold, but still very much alive. Taking some of her blood was the only thing he could think of to subdue her without hurting her and it was also a way for him to reclaim her. He needed to get through to her and help her remember their past. Until then, he was content enough to hold her close and listen to her heart beat. She was alive and still young. And definitely as beautiful as he remembered, despite a few changes here and there to her appearance. He was full of hope as he fell asleep.

When he awoke she was gone. He wasn't entirely surprised, but he was a little amazed that she hadn't killed him in his sleep. His eyes squinted against the morning sun as he sat himself up. He inhaled deeply and turned his head in her direction upon catching her scent. She was standing not too far from him in a clearing, watching him in fascination. He stood and boldly walked towards her until they stood six feet apart. Buffy looked up to the sun, then back at him. Her brow furrowed, not able to comprehend why he wasn't burning.

"Buffy?" he spoke softly. "Do you remember me? Spike?"

"Spike?" she repeated. The name was familiar, but she couldn't quite turn the corner in her mind. Her hand closed tightly around an amulet that hung around her neck. Spike focused upon it, making out that it seemed to be like onyx, black and shiny.

"I know I'm in there somewhere, love. What about Dawn? Your sister?"

"Sister....Dawnie? She...she died. They all died." Now both hands were holding the talisman and Spike found himself unnaturally attracted to it.

"You're not alone, Buffy, not anymore. If you could remember me, you'd know it would all be alright. I love you."

"You're a monster." Her comment stung but he let it go. As she spoke she'd touched the healing puncture wounds on her neck.

"Had to do it, pet. You were trying kill me at the time." He spotted a tiny glimmer from her talisman that seemed to emanate from inside and was not reflected from the sun. "What have you got there?" He took a step forward and she rushed backwards. Spike halted and raised his hands in supplication. "Woah! Not going to try and take it from you. Talk to me, please."

Still clutching her amulet, she searched her mind for the right word. Ever since early that morning when she'd waken in Spike's loving embrace, she'd felt an emerging familiarity with him. She understood the words he spoke, but his presence was like that of a long faded dream.

"Wi...Willow." Spike smiled, delighted that she was drawing on names from her past.

"Got that pretty bauble from Willow?" Buffy nodded. "Can I see?" The moment he opened his hand to her, the Slayer from the night before returned. Her face grew stern as a veil seemed to fall over her and Spike knew he'd misstepped. He'd thought she was going to attack, but instead she bolted into the forest. Spike snapped into action and followed after her. He wasn't about to let her out of his reach after finding her again. She knew her way around these woods sure enough, but Spike tracked her easily. "Bloody hell, Buffy! Stop running!"

When he saw his opportunity, he took it. Rushing at her lower half he tackled her down to the ground. Because her hands still clutched her necklace, when she went over it was torn from her and propelled out of her hand. She screamed as they both watched it fly through the air. It shattered against a rock. Buffy's small body suddenly arched in a violent spasm and her cry reverberated through the air. Spike watched, horrified, as her body was enveloped in a blinding light.

When it was over she lay beside him sobbing, shaking and writhing. He remembered what it felt like for him and understood her pain. He understood the trauma of suddenly having your soul restored.

***

Everything was bright and loud and Buffy was unable to control the sobs that wracked her body. Spike crawled over and held her until her sobs turned to coughs, then quiet whimpers. They lay in the sun for a time, until finally Buffy composed herself. She sat up, sighed heavily and looked at Spike. Her emotions were plain enough to see. She was anguished, but grateful he was there with her.

Spike rose to his feet and offered the Slayer his hand. Buffy accepted and rose as well. She tugged him towards the direction of the monastery, but Spike resisted and pulled her in the other direction. "Have to go back for m'pack, love. Got a few things with me I need. There's a few things for you, too." She acquiesced and followed as they strolled back through the forest.

After another two hours of walking the monastery came into view. It was small by comparison to others of the region and so secluded and hidden among that trees that one could easily miss it. It was made of primarily black granite that had been polished to a smoothness only centuries of weather could achieve. It was breathtaking. The inside was clean and sparse with an open air garden in the center of what were two walls of cells and two walls of other rooms, such as a kitchen and a dojo.

Spike allowed himself to admire the pond of koi surrounded by tiny red Chinese maples. The sound of falling water from a fountain into the pool echoed all around them. This place was still a holy one; still a sanctuary. He was glad to have found Buffy here and hoped that even without her soul, she'd been able to find peace here. Her grip tightened on his hand he turned back to look at her. She was still crying, but her eyes were full of light and life. Already the change had come upon her. He'd been right all those years ago when he'd named his soul a spark. There were fires burning in her again and the girl he loved and remembered was coming back to him.

"Can you say my name for me, love? Show me you remember just a little?" he bade.

"Spike," she replied instantly, smiling to herself and proud that she'd got it so quickly. But then her brow furrowed and she let go of his hand.

"What is it? Buffy?"

"William." Her hand covered her mouth to muffle a scream. Seconds later her hands were gripping tightly to the leather of his coat as a new wave of anguish enveloped her.

"Buffy?!"

"Oh god, they took him from me...William. I have to find him, please help me!"

"William? Do you mean me?" She shook her head. All her memories were coming to the forefront of her mind. Images, sounds and feelings assaulted her psyche that had been repressed for centuries. Her mind and her soul had locked itself upon one person and it wasn't the one who stood with her now.

"My...my son." Spike flinched and closed his eyes. He told himself he'd heard wrong, but her reaction confirmed her turmoil over a lost child. The skies above had begun to cloud over and it would begin to rain soon.

"Let's get inside, love. Then we'll talk."

Holding her close he guided her around the perimeter of the garden until she indicated where it was that she slept. The room itself was clean, but sparse and not particularly welcoming. It felt cold to the vampire, and in more than just temperature. He dropped his pack and guided her over to sit on the bed. He knelt before her and took her hands in his, mirroring a scene they'd played together eons ago. He was scared to hear this story of hers, remembering another little boy named William that had been lost. But he owed Buffy this moment and would gladly give her much more.

"What happened to him, love? Your son?"

"I...I didn't want to let him go, I swear I didn't."

"Of course not."

"I loved him! But he was in danger...because of me."

"On account of you being the Slayer?"

She nodded, her voice barely coming out as a whisper. "He was so tiny...so perfect. He looked so much like his daddy, so beautiful. I barely had any time with him...they took him away."

"Who did, sweetheart?"

"I...I don't remember! Why can't I remember?"

"Shhh, pet, give it time. When was this?"

"I don't know."

"Who was there with you? Was Willow there?"

"She said she could take away my pain....she gave this to me...It was Willow! " Her hand left Spike's and went to her throat where her amulet had been. Finding it missing she grew frantic, but he moved on to the bed with her and pulled her close.

"Willow took your soul away, so you wouldn't be able to miss your son. I don't care if she thought she was helping, it was bloody cruel."

"I want my baby, Spike." She looked at him with eyes full of woe, and tears streaming down her cheeks. He kissed her forehead and encouraged her to lay down. He covered her with a woolen blanket. Without much of an internal debate, he lay down with her, enveloping her in his arms. She cried for a while longer until sleep claimed her. With a heavy heart, he cuddled her small, shaking body and whispered his love in her ear.

He woke up to the sound of pouring rain, the echoes of which surrounded the small room like a symphony of textured sounds as it beat upon the roof. The wind hissed through the trees and made the hollow bamboo wind chimes outside wail like lost souls. His position hadn't changed in the few hours he'd slept. It was the middle of the night, with dawn still many hours away. Buffy was seated at the foot of the bed, her knees hugged close to her chest as she watched him.

"You always looked so peaceful when you slept. I never forgot. Even when I didn't remember who you were or what we were to each other, I still kept the image inside my head. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you right away though," she said, a rueful smile coming to her mouth. "I've missed you, Spike." He reached out and touched her toes, finding them cold. The blanket was over him and he quickly sat up and lay it over her.

"Coming back to yourself a bit, love?"

"Yeah, bit by bit. Oh, Spike, this is so strange. It's like waking from a dream and not knowing if this is the real world or if the dream was." He pulled her into his lap, bundling her up in the blanket and the length of his duster. She fingered his collar, then patted his chest. "This isn't the same coat."

"Nah, lost the original ages ago...it happened in Italy when Angel and I...nevermind."

"Go on, please. Do you still see him, is he alive?"

"Last I saw of him, yeah. It's been sixty years though. Still hear about him. It's out there, big brooding champ as always. Do you remember that Angel took control of Wolfram and Hart? The lawyers? He and I got sent on this wild goose chase 'round Rome."

"You let yourself slip. You died wearing your coat. How did you come back?"

"Was trapped inside the amulet."

"For how long?" The vampire cleared his throat and look away, outside the open window opposite them. The storm was growing in intensity. "Spike? For how long?"

"Nineteen days."

"You never came for me."

"No, I didn't. I tried to, so many times. I was a coward. I was with Angel, 'course. We were in Rome, so were you, but then we got wind that you were with the Immortal and....I just gave up."

"You would've been too late. William was already gone."

"And so was your soul?"

"Yes." He took her hand in his and tightened his grip on her small body, letting her know she was safe with him.

"Tell me about him, your son."

"He was perfect. How could he not be? He was ours." Spike swallowed the lump that he suddenly felt in his throat while tears immediately sprang to his eyes. It would do no good to berate himself for being a fool and not going to her the second he'd re-corporealized. But it was there nonetheless. The guilt. The anguish. The rage and regret and the infinite sadness that stripped his soul bare in a matter of seconds. Buffy continued and he held on to her every word.

"You can imagine how shocked I was when I found out I was pregnant. I knew our night in the basement was special, but I hadn't expected that. You were a vampire afterall. But I was so happy. I promised I'd make up every bad thing I ever did to you by giving your child the best life I could. I was sad you weren't there, especially when he was born. After one look at his face, I was so at peace. I didn't think I'd be a good mom...I was always so hard. I was good though. All these instincts came alive. I loved him so much."

"Wha...what happened?"

"The Immortal. He wanted William because of who he was; the son of a vampire and a Slayer. At first he played nice, tried to get close, but I didn't trust him. The way he looked at my baby scared me. It was evil. Willow said William had power inside him, and I knew the Immortal wanted it. We thought of everything, I swear we did!"

"Shhh, pet, I believe you."

"Willow said there was a place she could take him. But I couldn't come with him, I had to keep the Immortal away from him. He was three months old. I was still nursing...she said it was for the best.....that...that he'd be safe. I kept telling them, Giles, Dawn, everyone, that it didn't need to be this way, I could protect my own son...but.." Buffy's tears were coming in great deluges as she tried to finish her story. "In the end Willow had to use magic while Dawn took him from my arms. I wanted to die in that second when I lost contact with him. He was crying for me. Willow put the amulet around my neck and said a few words and all of a sudden I didn't care. I could still hear William crying in the distance and I just didn't care...about anything. I felt like that silly robot, programmed to do what I was told, what was expected of me." Her entire body shook and Spike could no longer keep the reign on his emotions any longer.

"Forgive me? Please!" He trembled and she squeezed him with all her might.

"Forgive me, too?" They were silent for a long time, while their tears ran their course and they could conjure the words that had yet to be said. "When were you in Italy?" Buffy said, still cleaving to him and he to her.

"It was May."

"William was gone a month or so. The Immortal and I were dating, if you can call it that."

"Did you ever...you and he?"

"I don't remember. I don't think so. I hope not."

"It's okay, love. Doesn't matter now."

"How long has it been? I know it's been a long time. I know everyone's gone. I don't know why I'm still here."

"It's been almost three hundred years."

"William's been gone a long time then..." Her tears started a new.

"Don't think of it, love. He's grown. Had a family of his own, grown old and left behind a multitude of grandchildren. He's not gone. He's not gone. I had a another, Buffy...and I called him William too."

Buffy was struck by many emotions with that, but loved him enough not to show her jealousy that a little boy other than her own had know his father.

"I'm glad, you deserved that happiness. Were you married?"

"Yes, her name was Naomi. Lovely girl with curly black hair and so full of life. You and she were nothing alike, except you were both strong in spirit. She died and one day after he was born, he did too. He was born too soon, there'd been a car accident. But I'd held him, kissed his face and seen his eyes and loved him."

"How long ago?"

"Almost as long, centuries. There's been no one since." She'd begun stroking his cheek and jaw as he spoke and he leaned into her touch.

"I loved you, Spike, in the Hellmouth. I love you still."

"I'll always love you, Buffy. I love you."

"We're lost Spike." Pressing their forheads together, Spike smiled sweetly.

"Feels like we've just been found, I'd wager."

"But where do we go from here?"

"I don't know, love. For right now though, I think we should sleep until morning's come."

"It feels like we haven't rested in centuries."

"God knows we haven't. Lay with me, Buffy. Let me hold you." They returned to the sleeping positions of before, but this time facing each other. Despite the tears, a few tentative brushing of lips and smiles crossed between them. "Maybe later you could tell me more about our William?"

"I'll tell you everything I remember. He was a real kicker in my last month."

"Bet he was, my boy after all. Another of the miracles I've been graced with beyong my deserving." His voice wavered and Buffy's palm against his cheek soothed him.

"Maybe...maybe we could. I mean, we did before, so maybe..."

"Have another?"

"I know it's like, way too soon...but we can imagine. Can't we?"

"We can. We can dream about it."

She nodded and snuggled down into him. The profundity of what he'd learned this night kept his mind racing and his eyes open for many hours, until he heard the birds singing despite the rain, and let them lull him to sleep.





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