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A newly bleached-blonde souled vampire paced the floor of his new home contemplating his next move. He had decided to finally pull himself together because even he was getting sick of his bouts of insanity. It was time to get a grip on things and acting like a bloody wanker wasn't getting him anywhere. He had resolved to act like nothing had happened the past months including the last incident that occurred in the Summers' bathroom that fateful night, and he would not allow himself to feel guilty over something he believed wasn't any of his fault. Of course that could all be the demon talking yet he shrugged the guilt off. He wasn't going to be anybody's lapdog, punching bag or whatever else they considered him to be. The soul he owned gave him a conscience but he wasn't in any mood to deal with it at that very moment. He had better things to do… mainly killing any demons that crossed his path.

**********

Buffy and Dawn had been walking through the cemetery for over 45 minutes without any action with the exception of the two fledgling vampires they dusted before that.

"So, this is fun," Buffy said sarcastically. Dawn looked at her sideways. "Come out vampires. Come out, come out wherever you are."

"Hello, cuties," Spike stepped out from behind a crypt and both girls jumped.

"Jeez…Spike!? Lurk much? What the hell are you doing?" Buffy was exasperated.

"Just casing the joint for would be baddies. Hey there nibblet."

Dawn stood motionless, poised with her stake at the ready, vehemently staring at the vampire she once considered her friend. Spike stared back knowing full well how his lil' bit felt about him, the hatred apparent in her eyes.

"Don't call me that or I swear I will stake you right here and now."

"Alright then," and he turned his attention back to Buffy just as Anya came up behind the girls.

"Hello all. What's going…Spike? How? When? Where?"

"All very good questions, pet. I take it Buffy didn't let anyone in on my return back to this fair town?" he asked with a smirk.

"Anya, what are you doing here?" Buffy ignored the vampire with annoyance.

"I was taking a shortcut, besides I knew you were out here, so I had nothing to worry about, right?" She answered sweetly. "Say, Spike, what's with the…" she asked as she waved her hand up and down towards him.

'Oh God she knows', he thought quickly. "So Slayer, keeping my whereabouts a secret, eh? Is there something you want to tell me, luv? Missed me…"

"Shut up, Spike," Buffy and Dawn snapped in unison.

"Spike", Anya began again, her eyes wide. "You have…"

His voice grew louder and more irritated. "So what's the soddin’ problem with you bints? I try to say hello, and I get this, this, whatever this is? What have I possibly done now for you…"

Dawn piped in, with disgust rolling off of her. "Let's see, maybe trying to force yourself onto my sister? Maybe, just possibly trying to rape her?"

"I did no such thing. Besides, she likes it a bit of rough and…" Before he could finish or take any of it back, a fist connected with his nose.

"I said, shut up, Spike." Buffy backhanded him across the face.

"You…were…wrong." She accented each word with a punch in between. Buffy kicked him in the stomach and he fell hard to the ground.

"You did force yourself on me, you bastard." She leered over him. "I told you to stop, gave you plenty of chances to stop, but you didn't listen. I had to kick you off. And you think you did nothing wrong?" He laid there dumbfounded.

Buffy spun away huffing. "Come on, Dawn. We’re going home. Anya, you better hurry on home, too."

Anya turned back to Spike who was now sitting up holding his head in his hands. "Spike…why didn't you tell…"

"Just sod off, Anya, and leave me the bloody hell alone…please." The last word was hardly audible.

"Goodnight," she whispered and turned to leave.

"Guess that means I'm not as welcomed as I thought. So, what's new?" He slowly stood and watched his two girls walk away from him.

**********

A few days later, before dusk, Spike had been marching back and forth once again, mulling over his failed attempt at talking to the Slayer and her little sis. He knew he should have just bit his tongue when he lost his cool, but he was never capable of keeping his trap shut when he needed to. He had been feeling remorseful all along, not only for the things he said the other night but for all the other times especially the night he did the unthinkable. He had hurt Buffy, the woman he loved so desperately, when he had promised her he would never, ever hurt her. But he did and now he had to suffer the consequences again.

Confusion was setting in and fought to stay in control of his feelings. What should he do now?

Spike walked over to a table and pulled back the black velvet cloth that lay folded in half across it. In the middle of the fabric sat a rather large ornate cross he had stolen, or borrowed as he told himself at the time, from a nearby church. He wanted to purge this guilt from his body and the only way he could come up with at the moment was self-mutilation. As he picked the cross up, tendrils of smoke wafted up and he gritted his teeth though he didn’t make a sound. That changed, though when he placed it on his bare chest, a blood curdling scream erupted from his mouth. Shakily he placed the cross back down as quiet tears rolled down his cheeks. He fell to his knees and wept silently.

**********

Xander came through the Magic Box doors with a young lady on his arm chatting away just as Anya looked up at the distraction. Xander smiled and waved. "Hey, An."

The demon’s eyes grew big. "Nancy? How are you?"

"I'm fine, Anya, thanks. Ronnie hasn't been around since we last talked. I ran into Xander last night so we sat and talked for over two hours. It was nice…I never had that kind of thing with Ronnie."

"Oh, well that's…well that's just great," Anya tried to sound happy for the girl. She noticed Xander flirting with this woman and knew it was a ploy to make her jealous.

"We came, or actually I came to drive you home. Nancy I just ran into down the way. Unless you'd like to come to The Bronze for a bit-o-fun with us, get a few drinks, dance a few dances? Whatta ya' say?"

"No, don't think so, I'm quite exhausted. Been a long day. You two go and fun it up if you want." Did she sound bitter? He was her ex by the way so he had every right to have fun with anybody he chose to. It still was hard.

"Okay, that's fine. I still would like to drive you home, if that's alright with you." He sounded sincere.

"Sure, whatever. Just let me put a few things away, and I'll lock up."

Xander and Nancy headed out and Anya soon followed only to witness Nancy cowering behind Xander. She followed what they had their sight trained on and when she saw it, she cringed. Not too far from them squirmed a very large, very ugly worm baring many rows of razor sharp teeth and on top of that, it seemed to be hissing at the couple. No, not hissing per say, but saying something. It was saying Nancy’s name.

Xander, as calm as he could be at that insane moment, told Anya to slowly let them back into the shop. He had no weapons on him and knew he couldn't fight this thing alone. He really wished Buffy was here as well so once inside, he would try to track her down.

**********

Dawn was definitely getting the hang of the patrolling thing as once again her sister and she made the nightly rounds of Sunnydale. This time they kept an eye out for one vampire in particular because Buffy knew he was close-by; she could feel his presence. It was a distinct feeling she had just for him. He had been too quick the other night when he caught her off guard.

The other night; she couldn't believe she was back to beating on him again, but that mouth of his. He never knew when to shut it. Yet she felt terrible that she was back to pummeling the vampire. Something was off about him.

Buffy knew there was something different about him the first day she ran into him, but he had reverted back to his usual cockiness that night. How dare he deny his assault on her. She knew their "relationship" was an unusual one but she never, no, never thought that he would do a thing like that. There had to be a reason, other than his evilness, but she didn't want to really hear it…at least not yet. Her cell phone rang interrupting her thoughts.

**********

In a dense cover of trees and shrubs, he stood watch over his two girls. He realized he may never get another chance to talk to or even see either one of them again but this way he could still be there to protect them as they patrolled. He was also sure Buffy knew he was nearby, almost in the same way he always knew she was near. He should have been able to keep his bloody hole shut, because he knew nothing good ever came out when he was pissed. He should grovel at her feet, beg her for forgiveness, kiss the ground she walked on.

'No', he thought with a snort, 'that wouldn't even work, I'm afraid…need to work this out with her truthfully and honestly.'…"Bollocks, what am I saying? I am turning into the Grand Poof!"

He heard a phone ring, noticed Buffy stop and pull the contraption out of her bag. All of a sudden both girls took off toward town…and Spike was close on their heels.

**********

Xander made sure the gals were as far away from the front of the shop while they helped him gather weapons together and hopefully Buffy would arrive soon. At that thought, the back door slammed open causing the three standing in the middle of the room to turn and jump.

"I'm here, what's going on?" Buffy asked breathlessly.

"There's a giant earthworm, big and slimy, lots of teeth, sharp, out in front." Xander seemed to be calm, for Xander even though he spoke in broken sentences.

"Where did it come from?" Dawn asked thinking that one of them would know the answer.

The stranger stared at her wide-eyed and shaking. "From underground." Good enough answer.

Anya noticed Buffy staring at the other girl. "Oh, this is Nancy. Nancy, Buffy."

"Oh okay. Let me go out the back way and check things out, get a closer look to see what we're dealing with. Dawn, stay here and help gather weapons together. I will be right back."

She slipped back out the door they came in and ran through the back alley to see the monster that was causing all the problems. Just as she neared the end, Spike ran around the corner, almost crashing into her.

"Damn it, Spike."

"Buffy, let me help. I want to help." He sounded sincere.

"Why should I let you?" She glared at him, arms crossed in front of her.

"Because…you need my strength and I really want to help. Keep it distracted while you kill it." Sounding even more sincere.

"I don't want your help." There, the same old stubborn Buffy.

"Come on, Buffy. Just…give me a chance?" Was he whining?

"Well…I suppose I could use a distraction," she said reluctantly. Wow, the whining worked; he would definitely have to remember that. "But so help me, Spike, you mess up or do anything, anything stupid, so help me the street cleaner will be sweeping you up."

He looked at her for a beat. "Got it."

"Let's go, quietly. Distract it long enough for Xander to make it out with some weapons." They slowly ventured out of the alley as Buffy motioned Spike to go around the opposite way. Spike picked up a few large stones sitting around a tree on his way towards the creature.

"Hey, HEY," he chucked the rocks at the worm's head. It turned towards him and hissed. Spike found a narrow alley to escape into while the gang made their way out. Just in time because the monster was ready to do battle, but so was Buffy. She tossed Spike a spear so that he wouldn’t be empty-handed. 'She does care,' he smirked.

The beast seemed very interested in the strange woman standing with Anya and what was it saying this time? Suddenly, Nancy's eyes and mouth grew in size.

"Oh my g…that thing!? It's, no it can't, can it? It's Ronnie…but how?" she cried tearfully.

Anya looked at it then at her in surprise. "I did it, I turned him into…that.”

Xander overheard Anya say this. He felt disappointed. "Anya, is this thing…is it a vengeance wish?"

"Yes," she choked out.

"Can you…can it be undone?"

"I…I don't know…I've never…" she stuttered.

"Anya, Anya, can you try? Just try?" Xander pleaded. He looked over at Buffy fighting the demon worm. It wasn't wearing down any. "Please, An, try."

"I will try," and she began chanting something under her breath.

Buffy and Spike continued the battle and when it knocked her down and lunged at her snarling and hissing, Spike became desperate. He yelled at it again, drew back and thrust the spear towards it. At that very moment, the monster became a man, and as the spear pierced his right shoulder, Spike fell to his knees in tremendous pain. The chip had been activated. Spike was stunned beyond belief as well as Buffy. He knew he never meant to hurt this human. The man looked at him, the pain and confusion evident in his eyes and Spike panicked.

TBC





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