Ch. 5: So Don’t Knock Down My Door


Buffy was still gazing up at Spike when she felt a gentle hand on her arm. When she turned to see who it was, she was taken aback to be looking into the large brown eyes of Angel.

“Hello, Buffy,” he said softly.

Buffy clenched her jaw tightly. “Why are you here?”

Angel looked down. “Because I just noticed how much of an ignorant jerk I was toward you. Because I noticed something tonight that I never thought I would.” He looked up, tears pooling in his eyes. “I don’t love her, Buffy. I never did. But I do-”

“Don’t,” she spat. As much as she tried to be angry, she felt her resolve crumbling away. Her voice began to tremble. “Don’t say it, Angel. Please.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper, but to him it seemed like she was screaming.

“Buffy,” he pleaded. Tears were now slipping down his cheeks, and his voice was shaking with emotion. “Please. I love you. I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry, and I love you so much.”

“Angel...” she trailed off because of the lack of trust she had in her voice. When she felt herself being pulled into his embrace, she didn’t resist. Buffy looked at him through shining eyes. “Why?”

He kissed her forehead tenderly and pulled her closer. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Spike looked down at the couple in front of him and flared his nostrils angrily. He turned around to face the band. “Change of plans. Get ready for ‘Goodnight Sweet Girl’ instead.”

Gunn looked confused. “But what about ‘Slither’?”

“We’ll get to it later,” snapped Spike. He turned to face the crowd. “Thank you. You guys are fantastic.” The moment he began to speak, Buffy looked straight at him. He held her gaze unblinkingly as he stepped closer to the microphone. “This next one is a little bit slower. It’s called ‘Goodnight Sweet Girl’. I hope you enjoy it.” He gave a slight nod as he began to play his guitar.

♪Are we done for now
♪Or is this for good
♪Will there be something in
♪Time with us, there should
♪Only girl for me is you
♪There can be no other one
♪If I didn’t have faith
♪I would come undone
♪So much promise in your eyes
♪Seems that I can only see
♪It always makes me wonder
♪If you save it all for me
♪Maybe you do
♪Maybe you don’t
♪Maybe you should
♪Probably won’t

The guitar began to pick up speed, and Spike and Buffy’s eyes remained locked, while Angel remained oblivious.

♪’Cause there will be...

The rest of the band joined in and Spike turned away, instead looking down at his hands drifting effortlessly over the guitar. Buffy sighed dejectedly and turned to dance with Angel. Spike and Xander continued to play a little guitar duet as they jerked their heads in time with Oz, Gunn, and Wes.

♪There will be other guys
♪Who will whisper in your ear
♪Say they’ll take away your sadness and your fear
♪They may be kind and true
♪They may be good to you
♪But they’ll never care for you more than I do

Buffy nearly fainted as Spike’s voice gained a sexy rasp as he sang the high notes. She couldn’t help but notice his eyes fixed on her yet again.

♪I’ll be always there
♪Here to the end
♪I can’t do much
♪But be your one true friend
♪To the end
♪To the end
♪Our lives to spend
♪With each other to the end
♪Of time

Spike was practically screaming onto the microphone. He held out the note as long as he could before resuming his duet with Xander, this time with increased intensity. He then branched off into a solo; Xander, Wes, and Oz playing backup chords. His fingers danced over the frets of his guitar, enchanting the crowd with every note.

♪Still see the promise in your eyes
♪And still wonder if it’s for me
♪But I know it’s still there
♪Even when you sleep
♪So I say
♪Goodnight, sweet girl

The last note went nearly unheard by the club’s patrons, as well as the pain behind it, because of the rapturous applause. Spike was panting, not out of exertion, but out of anger at seeing Angel’s arm snaked around Buffy’s tiny waist. Lorne must have noticed, because he was in front of Spike, mic in hand, withing seconds.

“Well how about that, huh? All right, while our band takes a short break, our resident DJ Robin Wood will keep you all entertained. Give it up for our band!”

*****

“What the bleeding hell is wrong with that bloody woman?” Spike bellowed. Wes visibly flinched as his new friend kicked an empty crate across the room.

Oz opened and closed his mouth several times before asking, “Who?”

Spike rolled his head around in a circle. “Buffy. She just went back to him. Just like that.”

“Who?” Xander gulped as icy blue eyes flashed in his direction.

“Who do you think, you sodding whelp? Angel. Tall, dark, and forehead. After what he did to her, she just accepted him with open arms.” He flexed his fingers. “I’d wager he whispered a few sweet words to her. And she ate it up like it was bloody chocolate. It’s all bollocks. Every bit of it.”

Xander’s face hardened. “She’s back with Angel?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know!” Spike continued his angry pacing for a few laps around the storage room before he stopped in front of a concrete wall. “Why would she do that? To herself?”

Oz took a deep breath. “To herself, or to you?”

Spike clenched his jaw for a few seconds before letting out a feral roar and punching the wall. The rest of the band flinched at the resounding crack of bone meeting concrete. Spike looked down at his bloody knuckles before he began laughing hysterically.

“Hey, uh, you boys ready to go back onstage? They’re waiting for ya.” Lorne had poked his head into the back room, a look of worry etched on his face.

Spike inhaled deeply and plastered a fake smile on his face. “Yeah, we’re ready.”

Lorne smiled before he caught sight of Spike’s bleeding hand. “Hey, slim, what happened to your knuckles?”

“Nothing. We’ll be out in a second.” Spike flexed his fingers to test their mobility before nodding to his friends. “All right. We go out there, play ‘Slither’ and ‘Hanging by a Moment’, and then we’re done. Got it?”


Everyone nodded and silently followed Lorne back onstage, where they were greeted by a roar from the crowd.

*****

“Buffy, take me back?”

Buffy’s breath caught in her chest. “I....Liam,” she choked, “I can’t.”

Angel laughed weakly, panic and disbelief evident. “Why not. Buffy, please.”

“Angel, you will always be in my heart. Know that. But, our time is over. There’s no going back. Not for us. Not after what you did.”

He nodded, tears streaming freely down his cheeks. “Okay,” he said, backing away. “I love you.”

“I know.”

*****

Spike walked to his place onstage to see Buffy standing alone, a single tear falling slowly down her face. He took a deep breath as he turned to the band. “One, two, one, two, three, four.”

The band launched into the song, and Spike was impatiently waiting for the tempo change. He smiled when he heard it, and began to sing.

♪Hey...hey....hey
♪When you look you see right through me
♪Cut the rope, fell to my knees
♪Fallen, broken, every single time

The crowd was pumped yet again, flocking to the impromptu mosh pit. Gunn laughed when he saw Fred jump up and begin crowd surfing. Willow and Buffy had reunited and were head banging to the music, goofy smiles plastered on their faces.

♪Always keep me under finger
♪That’s the spot where you would sue me
♪Might see some type of pleasure in my mind

As the tempo seemed to slow, Buffy quit her frantic thrashing and began snapping her hips side to side with the drums. Spike inhaled sharply as she reached back and pulled out her hairtie, causing her golden waves to cascade down her back and shoulders. He had never seen anything so beautiful. One look into her eyes, and Spike had nearly forgotten his previous anger, if not the throbbing in his hand. Almost.

♪Yeah, here comes the water
♪It comes to wash away the sins of you and I
♪This time you see

The tempo picked up again and Buffy resumed her head banging, laughing as her hair whipped around her face.

♪Hey....hey...hey
♪When you seek me you destroy me
♪Rape my mind and smell the poppies
♪Born in blood in every single time

Spike was nearly ready to abandon his guitar, grab the mic off the stand, and crowd surf as well. His intuition, however, told him to stay put, so he did. He was rewarded with the sight of Buffy being hoisted into the air, a look of ecstasy on her face.

♪Always keep me under finger
♪That’s the spot where you might linger
♪But I see some type of pleasure in my mind

Buffy didn’t know what it was, but she felt some sort of connection to Spike when their eyes met as she returned to the ground. In his sapphire blue eyes, she saw a swirling vortex of emotion. What hit her hardest, though, was the heartbroken pain that seemed to reside in a place hidden behind excitement, and something nearly unidentifiable. She had the sneaking suspicion, however, that she knew exactly what it was. Lust. She had a similar suspicion that the same lust could be seen in her eyes, thought she’d never admit it.

♪Yeah, here comes the water
♪It comes to wash away the sins of you and I
♪This time you’ll see
♪Like holy water
♪It only burns you faster than you’ll ever dry
♪This time with me

Spike held out the last note as long as he could before closing his eyes and leaping into a solo. The pain in his hand seemed to disappear as his fingers slid effortlessly over the frets of his guitar. His solo seemed to go on forever, but his eyes soon snapped open as he opened his mouth to continue singing.

♪When you look you see right through me
♪Cut the rope, fell to my knees
♪Fallen, broken
♪Every single time
♪Yeah, here comes the water
♪It comes to wash away the sins of you and I
♪This time you’ll see
♪Like holy water
♪It only burns you faster than you’ll ever dry
♪This time with me

Buffy was tempted to crawl up onto the stage with Spike, but decided against it as the band began jumping around erratically. She flinched as she saw the head of Gunn’s drumstick fly off, but laughed when it hit the back of Xander’s neck.

♪Hey...hey...hey

The crowd erupted into cheers as the song diminished. Spike was still slightly angry, but the look on Buffy’s face calmed him, albeit minimally. It was as he looked into her bright emerald eyes that he realized how true the words of the next song were. Though he barely knew her, Spike was falling in love with Buffy. More surprisingly–he welcomed it.

He reached up a hand to wipe the sweat from his brow as he stepped closer to the microphone. “Well now, wasn’t that fun? Alright, we’re gonna slow it down...again...with a song that we like to call ‘Hanging by a Moment’.” Spike covered the mic. “Xander, you can take this one alone, right?”

Xander had a deer-in-headlights look before nodding the affirmative.

“Great.” Spike quickly walked over to the side of the stage and carefully deposited his guitar into its stand. He looked pointedly at Oz, who nodded and started sliding his hand up and down the neck of his bass, thus beginning the song.

♪Desperate for changing
♪Starving for truth
♪I’m closer to where I started
♪When chasing after you

Spike deftly grabbed the microphone and walked over to the edge of the stage, leaning out toward the crowd precariously.

♪I’m falling even more in love with you
♪I’m letting go of all I’ve held onto
♪I’m standing here until you make me move
♪Just hanging by a moment here with you

Buffy stood transfixed by Spike, completely ignoring dance requests. Except when Parker Abrams approached her. She slapped him, as much for his lewd comments as being...him.

♪Forgetting all I’m lacking
♪Completely incomplete
♪I’ll take your invitation
♪If you’ll take all of me

Spike heard the chorus approaching and decided to make his move. Before she knew it, Buffy was being pulled up onto the stage. Even when she was completely up, Spike didn’t let go of her hand, and the two blondes locked eyes for what seemed like the millionth time that night.

♪I’m falling even more in love with you
♪Letting go of all I’ve held onto
♪I’m standing here until you make me move
♪Just hanging by a moment here with you
♪I’m living for the only thing I know
♪I’m running and not quite sure where to go
♪And I don’t know what I’m diving into
♪Just hanging by a moment here with you

Buffy nearly fainted onstage. She barely knew Spike, but yet she felt a deep connection that she couldn’t place. It was deeper than anything she had ever felt for Angel. It was raw. Pure yet primal, and it remained unnamed. She knew she was falling for Spike, and the thought thrilled yet terrified her. Her head told her that she couldn’t feel anything so powerful for a boy...man...she just met. Her heart, on the other hand...

♪There’s nothing else to lose
♪There’s nothing else to find
♪There’s nothing in the world
♪That could change my mind
♪There is nothing else
♪There is nothing else
♪There is nothing else

Spike closed his eyes as he dropped Buffy’s hand and began backing up. He inhaled deeply, pausing when he felt the edge of the stage. He opened his eyes and gave the tiny blonde a small smile before falling backwards. Within seconds of his tilt he felt dozens of hands passing him around as he continued to sing.

♪Desperate for changing
♪Starving for truth
♪I’m closer to where I started
♪Chasing after you

Buffy had stopped breathing the second Spike had fallen over the edge, and she didn’t resume the action until he was next to her again. He didn’t take her hand, though. He instead opted for lightly grazing her cheek with one of his long fingers before turning to return the mic to its stand.

♪I’m falling even more in love with you
♪Letting go of all I’ve held onto
♪I’m standing here until you make me move
♪I’m hanging by a moment here with you
♪I’m living for the only thing I know
♪I’m running and I’m quite sure where to go
♪And I don’t know what I’m diving into
♪Just hanging by a moment here with you

Willow and Fred squealed with delight at seeing their friend so obviously taken with the handsome blonde Brit. Even if Buffy didn’t know, the two girls could see the hidden passion as clear as day. No matter what she said, Buffy had never been so blatantly head over heels for Angel as she was for Spike.

♪Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
♪Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
♪Just hanging by a moment here with you

Spike grinned and panted heavily as he looked at the screaming crowd. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect reactions to his music to be as huge as what the Bronze patrons were delivering.

“Thank you, all of you,” he shouted into the mic. “Give it up for Charles Gunn on drums! Wesley Wyndham-Price on keyboard, as well as most of the backing vocals! Daniel ‘Oz’ Osborne– bass! Xander Harris on the electric guitar! And me, Spike Matheson! We’re Black Frost, and we hope to play for you again sometime.”

Spike then handed the microphone over to Lorne, who was grinning like a madman. “And you will! One last time, give it up for Black Frost.” While the audience was applauding, Lorne turned to look at Spike. “Just so you know, I have great contacts at all the major record labels.” He gave a conspiratorial wink before once again telling the crowd to enjoy the DJ’s music.

Ten minutes later, all of the band’s equipment was loaded up, and Spike was on the prowl for Buffy. When he spotted her, he snuck up behind her before purring into her ear, “So, how about that dance, love?”

TBC in Ch. 6: I’m a loser and a user....

A/N: I should prolly say this now. In case you haven’t noticed, the chapter titles are the song lyrics to the Green Day song ‘When I Come Around’, so they really don’t have anything to do with the plot. *Whew* Another long one. I must say, I’m disappointed. I’m not getting nearly the feedback that is desired. If you’re not careful, I may decide to start holding out on you! O_o
I know the emotions seem to be coming forth REALLY quick, but I look at it this way: 1) they’re not all over each other like bunnies in heat every time they see each other, and 2) Spike’s emotions DID come on suddenly for Buffy. I know hers didn’t, but this is my twisted universe and I can do whatever I want. PLEASE review! Beware of the flying esophagus monkeys...

Lyrics: ~ ‘Goodnight Sweet Girl’ - Ghost of the Robot (haha! James actually sings that one!)
~ ‘Slither’ - Velvet Revolver
~ ‘Hanging by a Moment’ - Lifehouse





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