For the second time in his existence Spike felt the uniquely excruciating experience of dissolving into ash. Only this time he didn’t have the luxury of losing consciousness. This time even though he knew it shouldn’t be possible, he still had full awareness of himself, in all his pieces and particles, and all of them were in sheer torment.
He wanted to scream, but of course he had no mouth to scream. Of course he didn’t have any ears with, but it seemed as though he could hear.
“WAKE UP!!!” A voice demanded.
Spike sat straight up, every muscle in his body was thick with tension. His mouth was opened wide, but even his vocal chords seemed to be taut with fear.
“Wake up half-breed.” The voice demanded again.
There was disorientation, then flying through the air, than an abrupt and painful stop.
This was getting to be a bit repetitive.
Spike shook himself as he got his bearings. Solid floor underneath him, the same one as when he went to bed.
His body was solid, not translucent, and it appeared as though all his parts and pieces were still attached. He quickly pulled up his zipper when he noticed his pants were still undone.
A snort escaped him, followed by a chuckle, then a full-bodied laugh.
“I did not hit you hard enough that your mind should have been damaged.” Spike looked over at Illyria standing next to his bed and started laughing even harder.
Illyria turned her head to the side trying to understand what was happening to him. “Is this what they call hysterical laughter?”
Spike couldn’t answer her, he was laughing so hard.
It took him several minutes, but he finally managed to calm down and stop laughing. “Don’t look so alarmed, I’m all right.” He stood up and began to look for his cigarettes. “Just a nightmare, is all.” He finally found them and lit one up, smoking with relish.
“A nightmare caused you that amount of terror?”
Spike didn’t answer her; instead he began to look through his bags for a clean T-shirt to throw on.
“I could feel your fear across the house.” He persisted.
Spike found a simple black T and threw it on.
“What time is it?” He asked still ignoring her questions. “Anyone else up yet?”
“The Hogoshas left a while ago. I heard them talking, they did not think I understood their language; they were going to the hospital to check on the wounded soldier. Xander has not left Willow’s side since he awoke; she still has not regained consciousness. Angel has not yet gone to bed he has been up making travel arrangements.”
“Travel arrangements? He going someplace?” Spike grabbed his bag with the clothing in it, he had been astonished when he went to pack for this trip how many of his black T’s had been replaced with dress shirts and jackets. He grabbed a few more before they had left, and Raven had bought him some grey and white T’s to wear as well. He slipped on one of the grey ones now.
“No they are for his son.”
Spike looked at her quizzically. Angel didn’t have a son, something there must have gotten lost in the translation.
“The Watcher?”
“I believe he is still resting.” Illyria wondered if she should mention the Watcher’s illness to the vampire.
“The Rouges?”
“The males have been closeted away with the soldiers, except for the young human. He is with Dawn pretending to translate the prophecy. I do not know where the Cat has gone. I also do not know where the flying creature is. She worries me, I have no sense of her.”
“What do you mean?”
“She does not appear to me in any way except when I see her. She has no residual signature I can read.”
“So if you don’t see her, you don’t see her?”
“Correct.”
“And with her ability to take other forms and shrink to a spec of light that could be a problem.”
“Again, correct.”
Spike sighed, one more thing to worry about.
“Has Buffy…?”
“The damaged Slayer is in the training room working on meditations type exercises as well as her fighting skills.”
“Really?” Spike smiled. “Good, I need to have a chat with her.”
It was Illyria’s turn to laugh now. “You really do have a death wish don’t you?”
Spike studied her for a moment. It was true he was the first to accept that Fred was gone and Illyria had taken her place. He had mourned the loss of his friend, still missed her, but he had been able to move on from that. He didn’t even really blame Illyria for what happened. She didn’t pick the shell she was going to be reborn in. That was all that idiot Knox.
However, whenever he heard Illyria laugh he always was struck with a sharp pain of loss that rivaled the pain he experienced when they first lost Fred.
She had always been such a happy and hopeful person. The sound of her laugh had been contagious and had brought a smile to his face on several occasions. To hear such a similar sound come from Illyria, only with out the warmth, made him feel her loss profoundly.
“When you took over Fred’s body you said she was gone.”
“That is correct, her spirit was destroyed with her physical organs.”
“Then how do you explain the lingering emotions you still have that belonged to Fred?” Spike questioned her.
“Ghosts created by the memories that are still inside.” Illyria answered succinctly.
“Isn’t that part of Fred, though, her memories and emotions?”
“Why are you asking these questions?” Her voice came out suspicious and angry. No one had inquired about the shell’s previous occupant since Wesley had been killed.
Spike raised one eyebrow at her and Illyria felt her anger grow. He acted like she had just proven something to him.
Spike saw her face darken and sighed. “Look, that dream I had last night was about Buffy. I’m not even sure it was a dream.” He sat on the bed and looked up at Illyria. “I was like I was inside her head and she her personality was broken up into theses pieces. Slayer, vampire, and then there was this little ghosty Buffy. Whenever she was making with the happy thoughts she would turn all solid, then if anything upset her she would fade away.” Illyria’s anger faded and she began to feel something else as he confided in her.
“I was just wondering if, given the chance, the remnants of Fred’s emotions you feel grew would Fred’s presence grow too?”
Illyria hesitated in answering. It was unusual for someone one to initiate conversation with her. Even though she worked by Angel’s side day after day, he usually ignored her unless they were talking about the mission at hand.
The one eyed human tried to be friendly towards her, but she believed that was because he saw similarities between her and his deceased fiancée. For someone to not only confide in her, but then ask her opinion was quite a novelty. It was almost like a friendship.
She weighed the possible outcomes of sharing honestly with him. He could use this information to try and get rid of her in an attempt to restore Fred to this shell.
Yet that did not seem likely. He was too caught up in trying to win back the damaged Slayer. Plus he was the only who treated her fairly and she knew he did not hold her responsible for Fred’s demise.
She decided to trust him.
“If given the opportunity, these emotions could grow. I do not believe Fred would return, but I would become more like her in all probability.”
Spike nodded. “Thanks.” He thought over what she said.
“I would be willing to help you. If you desire it.” He looked at her surprised.
“Help me?”
“With the damaged Slayer.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“I may still make you my pet someday. I like my pets to be happy.”
Spike burst out laughing. “Blue, you cracked a joke.” He stood up and opened the door. “And a funny one, at that.” He gestured for her to go before him in a rare display of the gentleman he once was.
“It was not a joke.” Illyria protested.
“Sure it was.” Spike answered as they walked down the hall to the stairs. “And to answer your question, yes, I could use your help. Wanna come train with me?”
“How will this help you win the damaged Slayer?”
Spike winced. “Could you maybe not call her ‘the damaged Slayer’? Buffy or just Slayer will do. I’ll know who you mean.” They went down the stairs. “I just want you to spar with me so I can get in some training and read Buffy’s emotions and such when I talk to her. Then let me know if you sense anything later on.”
He saw Xander walking towards them from the kitchen, the cat woman was next to him with a steaming cup in her hands.
“Harris.” He greeted the other man. He eyed the Cat Woman, wondering what they were doing together. Spike hadn’t had a chance yet to tell them about their theories of who the Rogues were really working for. He hoped Dawn had.
“You missed it, Mate, Blue here cracked a joke.”
“A joke, really. And I missed it.” Xander shook his head, with regret. “But was it funny.”
“It was not a joke.” Illyria repeated her earlier denial.
“Sure it was.” Spike answered her the same way, much to her irritation. “It was pretty funny.”
“I always miss the funny ones.”
Spike found that now that wasn’t acting like an ass he actually liked Harris. Actually, now that they were no longer openly hostile to him, he found himself becoming quite fond of all the Scoobies. He understood why they had always been such and important support for Buffy.
“How’s Red doing?”
“She still hasn’t woken up.” Xander said tiredly. “She’s started crying in her sleep again. Last night Helena made this tea that helped her rest easier, so we’re going to try it again.”
Spike again eyed the Cat Woman suspiciously.
“Blue and I are head for a bit of training, if you need us for anything.” He directed his words at Xander, but his eyes never left Helena’s. She tilted her head, acknowledging the fact that he was suspicious of her.
Xander was as always oblivious.
“Ok. Have fun getting beat up.” Xander said, before starting to climb the stairs.
“Better watch out Illyria, he has a tendency to develop crushes on women who beat him up.”
Spike growled. Well, most of the time Harris wasn’t an ass to him.
“He doesn’t trust me.” Helena commented to Xander as they walked back up the stairs to Willow’s room.
“Well, it isn’t like you guys have done much to earn our trust. Spike is going to be one of the hardest to convince about your intentions. He tends to get a bit protective where the Summers girls are concerned.”
”He once had a relationship with the Slayer? Isn’t that unusual for a Slayer to be involved with a vampire.”
“You want unusual, try the fact that she also used to be involved with Angel, but I’m sure you know all about that.”
“No, we do not communicate outside of mission parameters. Each of my teammates is a stranger to me. Often we won’t see each other, but for a few times a year for the bigger missions. Usually we work alone.”
“Oh. So you guys aren’t all friends?”
“No, I don’t have any friends.”
Xander looked at her strangely. “That must be a lonely kind of life.” He commented.
Helena just shrugged. “Before I was changed I had many friends among my tribe, but afterwards they were all afraid of me. That is the case with most humans, they are afraid of what they do not understand.”
”Don’t I know that.” Xander commented wryly.
They walked the rest of the way to the room in silence. Just before they entered Xander turned to face Helena. “I just wanted to thank you. Willow is my best friend, has been forever. There’s this whole story involving yellow crayons, but I won’t bore you with that. The thing is, you helping her like this means a lot. And if you aren’t actually plotting to kill us, then hey, double bonus.”
“I do not always understand your English.”
”Neither do most Americans.” They opened the door and heard Willow whimpering in her sleep. Xander rushed to her side and helped her to swallow the tea.
“You are a very devoted boyfriend.” Helena commented as she watched him.
“Thanks, but I’m not her boyfriend. Will isn’t really into guys.”
“Oh!!” Helena’s eyes got wide. “I’m sorry I just assumed.”
“Its ok. I haven’t played the dating game since my last date was a demon, who tried to kill. I finally just gave up.”
“That is a shame.” Helena said quietly.
Xander looked up at her and they shared a smile.
Locked away in Shadow’s library, Shadow, Simon, and the still bound soldiers sat and spoke with a dark figure.
“So they refused to help us?” The figure asked his voice sent sparks of fear through the soldiers.
“That is correct, they claim to run a fair establishment. Now, I find out that there is an association between the owner and the vampire. If he is now aware of what we tried to do, he will be less likely to trust us.” Shadow said.
“I will take care of this matter, then. The vampire cannot be allowed to live.” If his voice was frightening before, it was downright terrifying now. One of the soldiers was openly weeping.
“I fail to see how this one vampire can be such a threat to your plan.”
“This vampire has proved to be very troublesome in the past.” The figured let out what could be considered a sigh. “Has he had a chance to interact with the Slayer?”
“Yes.” Shadow replied, knowing that he wasn’t going to be happy with that.
“And was there a problem?”
“She almost killed him.” Shadow said, with pride. “I, however, stopped her, not knowing what your plans for him were.”
“Be glad you are my son, if you weren’t you would be killed for that offense.”
“Not anticipating your whims? No wonder it has taken you this long to mount a good offensive.”
“Remember your place, Shadow.” The being hissed. “You were born from the darkness for this purpose and you can be returned there as well.”
“I am doing everything you ask, Father.” Shadow sneered. “Just make sure you remember what you promised me.”
“It has already been agreed upon. You will be the consort to the Thunder Dragon after it is reborn into the Slayer and your Fyarl will head up the extermination of the human race.”
“Now I must go call on an old acquaintance regarding the vampire.”
“Should I make a point to keep him away from the Slayer?”
“Not if she’s going to do our work for us.”
Shadow smiled. “Before you go there is the matter of the soldiers to attend to.”
“Oh yes, the soldiers.” The figure walked over towards them. When it leaned down the both began sobbing into their gags. It held up both its hands, there was a rushing noise and both the soldiers slumped forward. “Matter attended to.” With that it collapsed on itself and disappeared.
Shadow walked over to them and lifted their heads by their chins. He watched as blackness coated their eyes and seeped inside of them. When it had run its course the whole way through their bodies, their eyes returned to their normal color.
“Now, gentlemen we have some things to discuss.” Shadow told them.
In one of the upper corners a tiny sparkle of light bounced slightly.
Spike and Illyria entered the training room and saw Buffy using a punching bag in the far corner. Even though she had to have sensed them, she did not turn to acknowledge either one.
Spike smiled wide at the sight of her. “Morning, luv, or afternoon by now.” He greeted her cheerfully. She never even paused in her movements.
“What do you want now Spike?” She asked him.
Spike’s confidence grew; she couldn’t even ignore him for very long. “Well, Blue and I were just going to do a little training. I thought I’d take someone’s advice and get m’self back up to par.” Spike began stretching out. “I bet that dose of Slayer blood I had last night is going to help right along with that.”
He was pleased to note, when she slipped and missed the bag entirely.
He turned back to Illyria. “You ready, pet?” He asked Illyria with glee, he knew that calling her that would incite her.
Turns out he was right. He once again lost contact with the ground and flew backwards.
‘Should start collecting frequent flyer miles.’ He thought to himself.
He looked up and saw Buffy looking down at him; he landed only a few feet away from her.
Blue had good aim at least.
“Looks like you’re going to need a lot of work.”
“That’s the thing pet, I don’t have too many options in sparring partners, at least not if I want to improve. Blue is about the best I’ve got.” He stood up and looked at her, considering. “I don’t suppose you would want to help me get back into shape.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes at him. “You have actually hit a new low on pathetic.”
“Hear that Blue? Now that is comedic genius right there. Keep up with those jokes and soon you’re tongue will be as sharp as this one’s is.”
Spike sauntered up to her. “You should give the training thing another think through, Slayer.”
“Why is that?”
“Because it would be mutually beneficial to us both.”
“How do you figure that?” She said, with something close to amusement in her voice, as she turned back to the punching bag.
“You can get me back in shape and I’ll help you get that demon of yours to behave better.”
Buffy turned back towards him slowly. “How do you propose to do that? Seducing it?”
“No, although I can’t help it if it knows a great catch when it sees it. I was talking about getting you to the point where you don’t have to keep it under such tight control. If you can get it to work with you, then you can relax a bit. And believe me, after watching you fight, you need to relax.”
“You don’t ever make sense do you?” She was getting exasperated.
“You don’t have the grace you once did when you fought. You are holding yourself back too much. It isn’t going to give you any trouble unless you go up against a serious adversary, but when you do it will mean your loss.”
Buffy didn’t say anything processing what he said.
“I’ll state right now, that if you get me up to speed I could take you in a fair fight simply because you lost the passion you once felt for the dance. It took away your creativity and to someone with a good eye your moves can be anticipated. You have the superior speed thing going for you so that isn’t usually a problem, but it could be.”
“And how are you going to help me train it?”
“It will listen to me. You can let it out and let it run. I will make sure nothing gets out of hand, and if you don’t trust me, then Blue can chaperone.”
“I’m certain that this is just some attempt on your part to be close to me in the hopes of winning me over.” Buffy stated.
“I won’t deny I want to be around you. Nothing new there.” Spike wasn’t going to hide his intentions. There wasn’t any need. “I can’t even promise that nothing will happen even with Blue here to chaperone.” He raised one eyebrow and smirked at her in invitation. “But you have to know that I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“No, not even in trying to help me?”
“I thought you learning to work with your demon and being able to relax would be a sort of a compromise. It can be a great asset, to you.”
”You mean you don’t actually think it would be better off if I were just dead?” Buffy asked him. He knew she was referring to Angel.
“No.”
“I wonder if you would still feel the same if you knew all our deep dark secrets.” She told him enigmatically.
“There is nothing you could tell me that would change how I feel about you.”
“We’ll see.” Then before the conversation could continue.
“Ok, lets try this.” She said.
They both moved into the center of the room and stood facing each other. Spike’s features shifted as he pulled his game face on.
“Your turn.” He told her.
It took a couple of seconds, but Buffy did release her iron grip on her vampire side and slowly her face shifted as well.
She sniffed at the air and looked around, she appeared to be excited. Her eyes seemed to glow a brighter gold when she took notice of Spike. With a happy growl she leapt towards him.
He caught her before she could pounce on him. She whined when he held her away from his body. “Sorry.” He threw her back onto the mats and took up a defensive stance.
Buffy rolled up easily from the light toss. She narrowed her eyes catching on to what was happening her. She gave him a fierce, toothy smile and attacked. At first she was beating him easily. She landed punches and kicks, knocking him backwards. Then he seemed to pick up on her rhythm and started attacking her back. He moved slowly, but he kept performing difficult maneuvers to throw her off track. She tried to follow him, but she found herself unable to. Frustrated she tried pushing herself again.
“You are going to have to let her go, if you want her to learn what she’s capable of.” Spike said in a loud voice.
Just like that the limits were gone. She could move faster, her body more agile. Spike noticed immediately. “That’s it.” She came after him with a series of spinning kicks that she ended with a leg sweep. He just barely managed to jump in time.
She decided she was having fun.
Spike was having a blast.
He began to get lost in the fight, with her, also releasing the controls on his demon.
She was still better trained than he was, but they were able to tailor the fight so it was a workout for both of them and she wasn’t wiping the floor with him. Back and forth they went across the room.
Even Illyria couldn’t help be impressed with them. They did move together perfectly, it did look like a well-choreographed dance. They didn’t even notice the crowd that gathered to watch them.
His ex lover and her friends entered first. Aside from a faint look of sadness that crossed her face, Raven did not appear to be very affected by their separation. Illyria noticed that a there was also a look of pride and respect on her features after a few minutes of watching them. The other two girls were simply in awe.
The Slayer’s sister came in next; she got a happy smile on her face and sat down to watch the two of them intently.
Twenty minutes later Shadow arrived.
They were still fighting ferociously, neither one showing any signs of fatigue. Illyria felt his presence before he formed out of the shadows next to her.
“What’s going on?” He sounded excited and eager, she noted.
“They have decided to train together. They believe it will help them to overcome their current shortcomings in regards to their fighting skills.” She answered him.
She watched as his demeanor changed.
“It appears she lost control over her demon.” He commented.
“No, that is what they are working on, training the demon so she doesn’t have to have such a tight control over it.”
His face tightened and he walked towards them. “Slayer, I need a word with you.”
Both fighters stopped, Buffy looked at Spike questioningly. “Time to go back in.” He told her sadly. This time there was no struggle on her face as Buffy shifted back to her human form.
“That was a first.” She said.
“I hope I’m not interrupting.” Shadow when he walked up, his voice was as tight as his face.
“He was teaching me to work with my demon.” Buffy said. “Is there a problem?”
“Surely you don’t have a problem with me helping your girl out with her skills.”
Shadow ignored him. “I would think letting the demon out like that would cause the Slayer no small amount of upset.”
“Not so far, but I hadn’t thought of that.” She admitted.
“Maybe it would be best to consider all of the possible outcomes before deciding to try something like this.” He suggested. “I would like to meet with everyone in the living room area. There are some complications we need to discuss.”
Buffy nodded.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
A/N: I know this chap was a long time coming and it isn’t very long, but the next part was going to get a bit long so I decided to end it here for now. I promise to make more regular updates again. Thank you so much for all the nice reviews and comments.
Kyra
Coming up nest: Fight Club…
Kyra
Coming up nest: Fight Club…