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Chapter 2

Soft music played over the stereo upstairs in Spike's apartment. The living room was aglow in soft candlelight. Dishes and food lay scattered on the kitchen table, the remains of a romantic dinner now forgotten.

Spike sat on the floor in front of the couch, shirtless with a cigarette in one hand. He looked down lovingly at the woman with her head in his lap as he played with her short spiky hair.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked her softly.

Her almond eyes stared into his unblinkingly.

"More than anything." She answered with no hesitation and then she studied him. "What about you?"

He answered automatically. "Of course it is." He tried to ignore the hazel eyes and blonde hair that he could see in his mind's eye, but they still captured his attention. He refused to even acknowledge the pain and loss he felt when they flashed at him.

Because he was so caught up in ignoring the woman from his past who was only in his head, he didn't notice the hurt look on the face of the woman with him. He never saw the way her eyes dulled as she watched him get lost in his memories of someone else.

"I bought something special to wear for this occasion. You stay right here, I'm going to get changed." The happy carefree voice she affected along with the kiss she placed on his lips as she stood up brought Spike back from his thoughts.

“I can’t wait to see what you bought.” He told her with a leer. She winked at him before darting into their bedroom.

Spike had met Raven a few weeks after he and Lorne had opened the club. When the tiny Asian girl had come in looking for a job, with her knee-high, blue velvet Doc Martins, her short leather skirt, tight white T-shirt with 'The Ramones" printed across it, and spiked black hair tipped in bright blue, Lorne had assumed she wanted to work as a dancer or a waitress. When she explained that she was there about the bouncer position, Lorne didn't know what to say.

Spike, who had been interviewing bartenders near by, overheard the conversation and had sauntered over to laugh directly in her face. She took his taunting and in response challenged him to a fight.

The two sparred for about 15 minutes and Spike learned quickly that what the girl didn't have in strength, she made up for in skill. She had been trained in several different forms of martial arts and her speed made it difficult for Spike to really get an edge on her.

After taking great pleasure in pinning Spike to the floor, she let him up and explained that she was from a small town in Japan that was built over a Hellmouth. The Japanese people being very insular, had not wanted to contact the Watcher's Council for help, so they trained their own fighters to protect the people. Raven had come from a long line of these warriors and had devoted her entire life to protecting the village. Then Buffy and Willow had cast the spell activating all the potential Slayers and suddenly the Japanese people had Slayers of their own to protect them. Leaving Raven without a job or purpose.

Spike agreed to hire her on a trial basis. He amended that after her first night on the job when he watched her diffuse a potentially dangerous situation easily. The capable way she handled herself along with the cheeky comments she threw out at their troublesome clientele endeared her to him right away. Spike told himself it had nothing to do with the fact she reminded him of Buffy when he had first met her.

Six months after he hired her, Raven moved in with him.

Spike knew he was lucky to have found this amazing woman. She was perfect for him; Raven could be equally at home in a mosh pit at a concert or dressed up at the opera, she loved punk music almost as much as she loved a good brawl, she was educated and had exquisite taste in art and literature. In fact one of their favorite activities was to stay up all night and debate the merits of different poets and authors.

The best part was she loved him. She truly loved him totally and completely, never hesitating to say it or show it. Even with all she had been through protecting her town from demons and vampires she never judged him because he was a vampire. The fact that he was a vampire rarely even came up between them.

Spike asked her once, in the beginning of their relationship how she could be so open-minded after all she had seen. She had simply told him, that unlike the Watcher's Council her teachers understood that you had to deal with every living creature as an individual. That was the only allusion she ever made about Buffy.

Spike had never told her about Buffy, he never talked about Buffy at all to anyone. He talked about Drusilla from time, but talking about Drusilla didn’t bring up the pain thoughts of Buffy did. It wasn’t that Spike was trying to keep his past relationship with Buffy a secret, he was just afraid of the emotions speaking of her would bring up. He was certain he had done the right thing years ago by not tracking her down, but he never really got over the desire to go to her. Now Spike believed if he just shut her out of his mind he would be free from the pull of her.

He was sure Lorne and Clem, who worked for them bartending, had told her the whole sordid story by now, but she had never pushed him to talk about it.

For the past five years Spike had lived happily with Raven, he thought they had everything. The perfect relationship and the perfect life, well perfect for a souled vampire and an ex protector of a Hellmouth.

Then one night not long ago, after a late night poker game Clem asked when Spike was going to take the plunge and make Raven his mate.

Spike hadn't known what to say. He had never even thought about asking her. Deep inside he knew it was because some part of him still held out hope that he and Buffy would find their way back to each other again. Spike spent the next few days thinking long and hard about what he wanted, before finally deciding that it was time to shut the door on the past and the dreams of the Slayer that still captivated his imagination.

Spike had been so nervous when he finally asked Raven, but he shouldn't have worried. The happiness in her eyes and the "yes" that came out of her mouth before he could finish asking her made his heart swell with love for her.

Spike knew this was something Buffy would never have consented to. He knew she would never have allowed herself to be so open and vulnerable with anyone, least of all him. Raven was the perfect match for him in every way.

That's why Spike couldn't understand why the dreams of Buffy had been occurring almost constantly since he had proposed to Raven last week. Dreaming of Buffy was nothing new to him. It seemed he had dreamed of nothing but her since he had realized his feelings for her all those years ago, but this was different. These dreams seemed real to him, each time she would appear to him crying uncontrollably, she would tell him how sorry she was and beg him to stop hurting her. Several times now he had woken up in a panic, looking around frantically for her, not realizing that it had only been a dream. Each time he had been surprised to see Raven's short dark hair next to him instead of Buffy's honeyed locks.

Spike put out his cigarette determinedly. It was just the past trying to hold onto him, knowing he was finally ready to move on. Tonight he was going to make Raven his mate. Tonight he was going to leave his past behind...

Spike's head shot up and whipped towards the door. He was in vamp face and growling when Raven reentered the room moments later dressed in a blue satin corset.

"So what do you think?" She asked seductively. When she saw where his attention was focused she immediately grabbed a sword off the wall behind her and stood behind Spike defensively, uncaring of her state of undress.

A knock sounded at the door, but neither one of them moved. After a moment there was another knock this time it was followed by Lorne's voice.

"Uh, Spike!" He called nervously. "Hey partner, I'm sorry to interrupt, but there are some people here who need to talk to you."

Raven watched as Spike visibly tensed even more.

"What's going on?” She asked him, but before he could answer there was a loud pounding on the door.

"Damn it, Spike, open the door." A male voice Raven didn't recognize yelled through the door. "We know you're in there and we're not leaving until we talk to you." He followed this up with more pounding.

Spike snarled and stalked over to the door and threw it open.

"What in the hell do you want, Peaches?" Spike focused on Angel and didn't notice the other people standing behind him.

"It's the Apocalypse, Spike. We've received information on what they are planning and its pretty bad. If we don't stop them now..." Angel spoke quickly.

"Oh please." Spike interrupted. "Haven't we done this before? The first time I burned to a crisp and got trapped inside a piece of jewelry that belonged on Liz Taylor and the second time I was almost flattened by a dragon. Fight your own battles, I'm out of the save the world business." Spike went to slam the door on Angel, but before he could Xander shoved his foot in the way.

"Just hear us out Spike." Xander spoke out. Spike's eyes grew huge as he recognized Xander almost immediately. He seemed taller and leaner, but it was still unmistakably Harris. Spike scanned the hallway for any other Scoobies or Buffy. He was relieved Illyria and Lorne were the only others present.

"Look Spike, I know we never got along. Mainly because you were a soulless killer who threatened to kill my friends and I on numerous occasions and once kidnapped me; but even after you started helping us I never cut you any slack. Now I've come halfway around the world to find you to ask for your help. That's how serious this situation is." Xander spoke quickly and earnestly trying to make Spike see the sincerity of his words.

Spike considered the man before him. "All right. I'm not jumping on this train of yours, but I will hear you out." He glanced behind him at Raven still standing there in her lingerie wielding her sword. "Better go get dressed, luv, we've got company." He said resigned.

Fifteen minutes later after Raven was more appropriately dress and the introductions were made Angel began explaining the situation.


"The Watcher's Council assumed since they had so many Slayers now it would be inevitable that they would start turning the tide on the Apocalypse. Unfortunately they didn't take into account that just because the girls were Slayers they weren't necessarily battle ready. They lost almost half of the new Slayers in the first two years, but by the time they realized and corrected their mistake several of the Hellmouths and demonic hotspots around the world had become extremely dangerous. They had to concentrate most of their efforts in pushing back the forces that had gathered there.

Only recently did they find out that this was all a ruse to distract them. Giles received word from one of his contacts that Wolfram and Hart has been amassing an army in a distant country in Asia with almost no contact to the outside world. They have also joined forces with The First Evil."

"Bloody Hell!" Spike exclaimed. "That's quite the recipe for trouble there."

"Oh don't worry it gets much worse." Xander said cryptically. Spike just stared at him in disbelief.

"Giles also received word that another coffin has gone missing from the Deep Well." Angel continued.

Spike gave a mirthless chuckle. "Old boyfriend of yours coming for a visit Blue?" He commented to Illyria.

"His name cannot even be pronounced in your language. The closest translation is 'Thunder Dragon'. He was the first of my kind to be imprisoned in the Deep Well. It was the only time we all banded together, but we knew if we didn't he would have only grown more powerful and destroyed us all. Even with all of us combined we almost failed to overthrow him."

"Sounds lovely." Spike commented. "So Wolfram and Hart, with the help of the First Evil, plan to resurrect this Thunder Dragon and use him to take over the world. Even the evil plots are old hat. What makes them think it will work this time? Blue hasn't exactly set the world on ear."

"You are a fool!! Even a fraction of his power would be greater than mine was at full strength." Illyria snapped at Spike. "It also seems he was smart enough to not choose a human to be his vessel."

"What do you mean? His vessel?" Raven spoke for the first time.

"There's a prophecy that says they're going to use a warrior of stone to call him into."

"What the bloody hell does that mean?" Spike asked irritated.

"Well, we have our best people working on that." Xander said apologetically.

"Oh really. Who's that? Andrew?" Spike asked.

"Dawn and Willow are helping out too." Xander said defensively.

"Just wonderful." Spike muttered. "Well," he said standing up. "I heard you out and I'm still not interested. I'm sure your army of Slayers together with..." He paused. He couldn't say her name, if he said the name out loud it would just make her real again. Tonight he was letting go of the past. “the veteran Slayers you'll do just fine."

Angel and Xander exchanged glances. Then Angel looked Spike directly in the eyes. "We don't know have any veteran Slayers left." He said gently.

Spike fell back into his seat. He didn't even notice the hand Raven laid on his shoulder.

What did Angel mean? Buffy couldn't be dead. He would know if she were dead, he would feel it. She couldn't be dead again.

"Faith was killed 3 years ago in a rescue mission." Spike waited for him to continue, waiting for him to tell him where his Slayer was. His Slayer, Buffy. She would always be his Slayer, even if he made Raven his mate, in his mind Buffy would always be his Slayer.

Spike just knew Angel was waiting for Spike to ask. He was going to make him say her name out loud for the first time in years. Spike swallowed thickly.

"And Buffy?" His voice came out as a whisper.

"We don't know." Xander answered him. "We lost track of her shortly after Faith died."

"Lost track of her? What does that mean? What aren't you telling me?" Spike felt sick inside.

Angel shook his head. "She wasn't the same Buffy either of us knew, Spike. She was..." Again Angel hesitated.

"She didn't want anything to do with us." Xander picked up the story. "She left the Council right after Faith's death and told us to leave her alone. Willow was able to track her for a while. Just so we could know she was safe, but then we lost her in the Congo and we haven't been able to find her yet."

"Do you think she's dead?" Spike addressed Xander. Harris seemed more capable of speaking of this than the Soul King.

Only this time it was Angel who answered. "We're fairly certain she's not." Spike could hear regret in his voice.

Spike was about to stand up and demand answers from them when Raven suddenly spoke up. "I think we should help them." She said. Spike looked at her in shock.

"What do you me 'we'? This isn't your responsibility." Spike told her.

"Of course it’s my responsibility, just like watching over the Hellmouth was my responsibility." Raven insisted.

"Not that we don't appreciate any help that we can get," Xander began. "But this is a pretty dangerous situation we're talking about here."

Raven smiled at him. "Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, she took Spike down the first time they met." Lorne interjected. He had been keeping himself occupied with fixing himself drink after drink while the others talked and this was the first comment he offered to the conversation.

Xander laughed. "What is it with you and women who beat you up?" He asked.

Spike was seriously considering breaking his neck when Raven spoke again. "So where exactly is it that they are raising this army?"

"Bhutan. The land of the Thunder Dragon."

"That makes sense." She said. "Are you gathering in Kathmandu then?"

"We don’t know yet, right now we're meeting at the Watcher's Council in England in three days time." Angel explained. "We have some more people we want to try and track down. We'll form a more definite battle plan from there. We want to be on the ground in Bhutan by the end of next week though."

"That doesn't give us much time to find someone to look after the club." Lorne told Spike.

Spike shook his head and stood up. "Are you two both daft?" He addressed Raven and Lorne. "I haven't agreed to go anywhere."

Spike started pacing, trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened in the last hour. Everything that was trying to rip his nice, quiet, happy life apart. Apocalyptic Battle. Harris in his apartment, being nice. Faith dead. Buffy missing, possibly dead.

Buffy couldn't be dead. His mind asserted again. He would know. He thought back to the dreams he'd been having for the last week. Was she hurt somewhere trying to reach out to him? He almost shivered at that thought.

Raven and the others sat and watched Spike pace and mutter to himself. Finally Raven turned to the others. "I think we need some time alone to talk about this."

"Actually we have a plane we need to catch." Xander said smoothly. "Whatever you decide thank you for at least hearing us out." He addressed Raven. She nodded at him, but her eyes were focused on Spike. Angel looked like he wanted to add in more, but Xander just shook his head and turned to walk out the door.

Spike didn't even look up as everyone filed out. Angel turned and looked back just before he walked out. "We'll leave the details with Lorne." He offered, but there was no response so he just closed the door and left.

After they had gone Raven watched Spike pace. "I know why you don't want to go." She told him.

"Because I don't feel like rushing to my death again, only to have it mean nothing, because there is just another apocalypse around the corner." Spike said snidely.

"No. You're afraid of Buffy."

Spike froze mid step. She had said Buffy's name. Raven had said Buffy's name. Buffy, his Slayer.

Raven continued unwilling to let him avoid this again. "You've tried to shut her out, but she's always with you." Her words unknowingly echoed Drusilla's from so many years ago. Spike shut his eyes, but he couldn't shut out her voice. "From what I understand she treated you horribly and she never could let herself love you. Yet, you carry her memory inside of you like a shrine. Do you think I haven't heard you saying her name in your sleep? Do you think I don't know who you go to when you disappear inside your head?"

Spike opened his eyes and looked at her. He could see the pain and hurt on her face. He had thought he had been so careful.

"Raven, I'm so sorry..." He began.

"No. There's nothing to be sorry for. I know you love me and I love you, but you also love her and I can't compete with a ghost. We need to do this. You need to face your past and put it to rest so we can move on with our lives together."

Spike nodded his head. What else could he do at this point? He was defeated.

"Let's go to England then."





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