Chapter 5


“Spike, you’re going to wear a hole in that rug keep walking up and down like that” Clem said, sitting in the comfy chair, watching Spike pace up and down his crypt.

“Hmm, what?”

“Something on your mind?”

Spike stopped pacing and held onto the back of the chair, his arms stiff.

“You could say that yeah” He reached for his smokes, took out the last one and lit up.

“Well, you know what they say, a problem shared, and all that. I take it this involves Buffy I some way” Clem said

“Well yeah, we had a row”

“There’s a surprise!”

“Clem!”

“What – look, I’d be more surprised if you said, ‘everything is great between us, we DIDN’T have a row”

“’Kay, point taken, but I made a rash promise”

Clem looked steadily at his friend, and Spike continued

“I said I’d do something romantic for her – because she mocked me – she said I didn’t know the meaning of the word – and now I don’t know what to do. I haven’t a bloody clue, and whatever it is, it’s got to be ready by Saturday!”

“Saturday, huh? Okay then, flowers?” Clem suggested

“Na. She’d only think I’d nicked them off a grave………”

“Candy then”

“Nuh uh. Too obvious besides which, I’d probably get the wrong ones, I get hard centres, she likes soft, or vice-versa or she’d get spots from eating too much chocolate – anyway, it would just go wrong, I know it”

“Perfume?”

“It’s not romantic though, is it? ‘Here, you smell, wear this!’ I like the way she smells anyway, if she didn’t smell of jasmine body lotion and Pantene, she wouldn’t be my Buffy”

“Okay…well try looking at this from a different angle. You were with Dru for a century, what did you do for her that was romantic?”

Spike stopped and thought, then frowned and said,

“Really, you DON’T want to know the details, but I usually bought her somebody young and sweet for her to eat – or we’d indulge in a spot of mindless trashing of others property and possessions…fun stuff like that”

“I see, hardly Buffy’s bag then”

“Exactly”

“Well, what did you do before you were turned – there must have been somebody you were sweet on?”

Spike looked at Clem, and the mere thought of Cecily, poetry, and the total embarrassment of reading out allowed had Spike’s gut tighten with dread.

“Clem, this isn’t Victorian England – no, it needs to totally knock her off her feet, and I don’t mean in the literal sense – I just want her to be surprised, but in a nice way. And another thing, it has to be cheap, I’m broke”

“You HAVE got a problem then…well, you and me both”

“Really – what’s up then mate?” Spike pulled up the stool and sat, stubbing out his last cigarette.

“You know that new, well she’s been here a few months now, that little waitress at the demon bar in town, her name is Agnes”

“That Cyclops with the personal hygiene prob-um “

Spike could see the hurt look come over Clem’s face, and tried to rectify his ‘opening-his–gob-without-thinking lack of tactfulness and he added,

“She’s nice, yeah, as long as you’re down wind of her – she has nice eyes –eye I mean, she um, has a, a n-nice eye”

Spike screwed his own eyes up and he bit his bottom lip, he turned away, realising that he had been as subtle and diplomatic as a jackhammer there…

“I wish I had the courage to ask her out” Clem said with a sigh

“You asked females out before, haven’t you?”

“Unsuccessfully…I mean, who’d look at me twice, huh? With all this (he wobbled the spare rolls of flesh on his arms) she’d laugh in my face – and anyway, I couldn’t take her back to my cave, it’s leaking now, and there’s moss and fungus growing all up the walls…”

“Well, tell you what, you help me think of something, and I’ll ask Agnes out for you, and you can bring her back here – on an arranged night of course”

Clem’s eyes lit up

“Yeah – ow wow!”

“Sure, now all we have to do is to get Buffy to think I’m the best, most romantic thing ever since chocolate dipped strawberries”

“Why don’t you join that class and learn to salsa dance too – you’d be killing two birds with one stone then, one, you could keep a beady on the teacher, and two, Buffy would have you to dance with when the lessons have finished”

“I’d actually thought of that, but there’s a fly in the ointment there”

“Oh – she’d think you were spying on her still?”

“That, and the fact that they dance in front of mirrors”

“Oh. Oh I see, or rather, we wouldn’t. See you I mean. Hmm…oh, look at the time, can I put on Stargate?”

Spike sighed, stood up and said,

“Sure…I’m nipping out for some more fags, want anything?”

“You could get me some Cheezo’s”

“No, think Agnes, think about getting toned and fit” Clem smiled and sat up straight.

“You’re right! No Cheezo’s!”

Spike smiled and grabbed his duster and left the crypt.

Clem put on the TV, and saw the end of the chart show. A soft ballad was playing, with a guy strumming his guitar, and the video of the song had a split picture, the other half was the girl he was obviously singing about, going about her life, looking wistfully at the singers photograph…

Ten minutes later Spike came in carrying a brown carrier sack.

“Spike, I’ve been thinking”

“Oh, what about?” Spike put his purchases in the fridge, and closed the door. He began to fold up the carrier.

“Do you still have your guitar?”

“My guitar? – You mean my Gibson…um, it should be under the bed, why?”

“Well, I just thought that ………………………………”

“Clem, you are a GENIUS!”

“I am?”

“Yeah, now come on, never mind about this old tosh on the TV, go get your glad-rags on, and I’ll meet you by the cemetery gates in what, say twenty – we’re going to that demon bar, and I’m going to ask Agnes out for you!”

Clem beamed a smile and was up and out the chair in seconds.

*************


Following Evening

“Y-you are…you are the…sunshine…(Spike changed chords on the guitar) after the rain………Are my comfort……… when I’m in pain (he changed again, and wrote it down).

“Spike, SPIKE, HHHHHEEEELLLLL-OOOOOOOOOO!”


With a twang and cuss or three from Spike, he quickly hid his guitar under the sofa, and his scribbling’s under the cushion and looked around to see if there was anything that would give the game away.

“Spike – SPIKE – Oh THERE you are, didn’t you hear me calling you?”

“What – oh sorry, must have dropped off – ughh – uuuuuuurrrrraahhhh!” Spike feigned a yawn and a stretch.

“What have you been doing?” Buffy smiled and Spike, out of sheer indignance said,

“NOTHING!”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t accusing you of anything…I just wondered about all the screwed up paper, that’s all!”

Spike turned to see the wastepaper basket overflowing with screwed up pieces of paper, there was a sea of them on the floor too, where he just ripped off sheets from his notepad, screwed them up and threw them without looking towards the bin when he’d got something wrong or he’d changed his mind.

He quickly strode over and scooped them all up, forcing them down into the basket.

“Trying to write a – a letter, yeah, a letter for um, Clem. So, what can I do for you?”

“It’s twenty past midnight, you said you meet me at eleven thirty to patrol”

“Is it that time already – oh god yes, sorry – I lost track of time. Well, I’ll just get my coat”

“I saw the funniest thing earlier”

“Did you?”

“Yeah, I was crossing the railway track, by the bridge and I could hear somebody counting breathlessly, one, two, three, four – and I peeked over to take a look, and there was Clem, dressed in Bermuda shorts and a vest, with a towel around his neck, doing exercises! Knees bend, arm stretches, running on the spot!”

Spike slipped on his beloved duster and held open the crypt door for her.

“Well, immortality isn’t an excuse for letting yourself go, you know pet!”

“I know, it just looked funny – I mean Clem, exercising, how funny is that?!”

**’Bout as funny as me thinking I could write a song** Spike mused to himself, as they went towards the gates.

“Don’t tell him I told you, but he’s got a date”

“A date? As in he and a female, hooked up?”

“Yes” Buffy giggled and covered her mouth.

“Is she blind?”

“No, she’s – don’t be mean! She’s a Cyclops, she only has-“

“One eye, I know, oh well beauty is in the eye of the beholder I suppose.” Buffy looked at Spike, her curiosity was bursting

“So…all set for this romantic um, ‘thing’ on Saturday then?”

“Getting there”

“Really…so what shall I wear?”

“Haven’t really thought about it yet pet”

“But you must know where we are going!”

“Not really, I’ve several ideas, and you’re not getting it out of me! You’ll just have to wait until Saturday”

Buffy grinned and said,

“Wanna bet – I’ll get it out of you!” And before you could say ‘odds-on-favourite’, she had thrown him against a crypt, and had his flies open and she’d thrust her hand in and was now fondling his rapidly hardening manhood!

“YOU don’t play – f-Fair – ooooohhhhh!”

Dragging all his willpower together, Spike swiftly ran his hand up her skirt and pulled down her panties, carefully as he could, he disengaged himself from her grasp, and twirled them around, pressing her against the cold stone.

“Tables turned now pet, and I say, you WON’T get it out of me!” And with that, he thrust home, letting out a growl as he sank into her fiery hot depths.

Her knees nearly gave-way until supporting herself around his neck she hooked one leg over his hip, and Spike supported her bottom while she wrapped the other leg around him. He then carried her to a marble topped grave, and proceeded to thrust and grind at her at a furious pace, she could hardly get her breath.

Her nails dug into the soft leather of his coat as she felt herself hurtling towards orgasm, which she hit with a sharp cry, Spike didn’t let up, he pounded into her until he felt the second one upon her, then he allowed himself to fly with her and he came with strong hard thrusts, grunting an making Buffy jerk hard and go cross-eyed with the wondrous sensations.

She fell back limply, and Spike eased off her carefully, and tidied himself as Buffy neatened herself.

“Please babe, just wait until Saturday will you?”

With a twinkle in her eye Buffy said,

“Okay, but it was worth a shot, wasn’t it!”

And with a grin, Spike HAD to agree, it had DEFINITELY been worth a shot!





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