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Chapter 6


Saturday morning dawned bright and clear, and Spike hadn’t slept a wink.
He’d spent all night working on the song.

He’d lost count of how many cigarettes he’d smoked, how many times he’d reached for (but so far resisted) the bottle of whiskey – he needed to keep a clear head – and if he started drinking now, he knew he wouldn’t stop.

He’d also thought about calling the whole thing off. Conceding to her, letting her think she was right, that he didn’t have a ounce of romance in his entire body – but that wasn’t true. And he knew, deep down, that Buffy knew that that wasn’t true either, she wanted to see for herself just what he was capable of when he put his mind to it.


*************


“So we thought a DVD and a pizza, interested – Spike could come too”

“Um actually Will, Spike and I are, well, a little busy tonight – I’m not exactly sure what at the moment, but it’s pretty important so rain check on that”

“Oh, is it slayer stuff, need help?”

“Oh no, it’s well, look, don’t worry. I tell you what, you can all go to my house to watch the DVD, my TV is bigger than Xander’s, then if Spike and I make it back in time, we can join you”

“Great!” Willow smiled sunnily at her friend


**************


“Clem – wow, you’re early, it’s only what, twenty past four now, and your date’s not until 10pm tonight!”

Clem followed Spike into his crypt. He was holding a bunch of daisies, or rather he was holding a bunch of stalks rather too tightly out of nerves, and petals and flower heads were dropping all over the floor.

“I know, but I’m nervous – do I look okay? I bought this stuff a while back now, when I had got a date before, but I never got to wear it as she cancelled”

“Really, when was that?”

Spike asked, thinking that Clem hadn’t said anything about a date before…

“1967 it was, the Beach Boy’s had just released ‘Then I kissed her’, it was my favourite song”

Spike surveyed his friend, and tried to keep the frown off his face.

Clem looked, for all the world as if he was going to an ‘Austin Powers’ convention, he was wearing original 60’s ‘groovy gear’. A lime green nylon shirt, opened to the waist showing off a large gold coloured medallion, and purple ‘bell-bottom’ pants.

“I can’t decide whether to wear the shirt like this, showing off my medallion, or to wear this?” he took something out of his pocket and held it up.

“What is it?”

“It’s a cravat – if she see’s me with my shirt open, do you think she’ll think that I want to have sex with her?”

Spike became even more confused

“What? – I mean why would she think that?”

“Because I’m showing her my body…oh gods…do you think I could have a cigarette please?” Clem plonked himself down on the comfy chair.

“A cigarette, sure but, you don’t smoke”

“It might help calm my nerves”

“Oh Clem, you’ve got nothing to be nervous about, relax, be yourself, you’ll be fine!”

Spike offered Clem a Marlboro, which he took. Snapping his Zippo shut, Spike had to smile the way Clem held the cigarette between his finger and thumb, and gingerly took a puff and blew the smoke straight out.

“So, where are you taking her?” Spike asked

“Taking her? – I thought you said we could use this place as you were out tonight” Clem looked panicked.

“Yeah, sure, but, well, aren’t you going somewhere first, THEN coming back here for a nightcap, and you know, you scallywag!” Spike winked at him and grinned, but Clem just blinked at Spike.

“Um, I th-thought we’d watch TV…and um, talk of course, but I don’t know what to talk about. I bought her these flow – oh, um…I’ve ruined them – oh gods tonight’s going to be a disaster!” Clem looked at the mangled daisies in despair.

Spike ran a hand through his hair and muttered a ‘bleeding hell’, how many times had he thought those very words himself this morning over his and Buffy’s date tonight!

“Look, never mind those, there’s been two funerals yesterday, there are plenty of flowers around, Why not take her for a drink first?”

“You think? – But she works in a bar. And all the poker school will take the piss out of me if we go to Willy’s” Spike knew that was true enough

“Okay, well take her to the movies then”

Clem took another puff on the cigarette and nearly choked, this alarmed Spike as suddenly, Clem’s face sort of erupted, if that was the word, antenna
shot out from his forehead, nose and mouth, all unfurling and waggling in the air, just for a second, but it was un-nerving all the same.

“Sorry – that happens when I’m nervous. And excited…and sometimes even when I’m scared!”

“Does it? Wow…” Spike had never seen anything like it

“Where was I…oh yeah, movies?

“Not really, 10pm they’re over” Clem said

“True. Well, how about a walk in the park or something?”

“A walk? Um, okay”

“Did you bring anything for a nightcap – you know, a drink to offer her?”

“Erm…I didn’t think, sorry”

“Well, look don’t worry, there’s a decanter over there with some claret in it, you can have that”

“Really – you are a good friend to me Spike”

“And um, well, in case you get lucky, I’ve put clean linens on the bed”

“Oh god!”

“What?”

“What if I can’t, you know…make anything happen?”

“What do you mean?”

Clem was going all colours with embarrassment, some quite alarming too.

“You know…I believe the term is…get a stiffy?”

“Get a stiff – oh – oh you mean, um, well, what can I say? It’s never happened to me of course, but er, well…um…” Spike was desperately trying to think of what to say.

“Well, er…who do you think of when you, you know…do things yourself?”

“Do things myself – ow, um, can I put this out, it’s burning me!”

Spike handed Clem an ashtray, and tried to think of another subtle term for ‘having a wank’

“Go on, do things?” Clem looked innocently at Spike

“Um okay, you know when you wake up, and have got a, a ‘stiffy’, and it um, well, needs help to go away, who do you think of, while you help it?”

Clem went all colours again and mumbled something

“Sorry, what?”

“Usually Agnes” Clem said

“Well, there you go, if she gets your motor running when she’s not there, she’ll get it running for sure when she’s lying right next to you, no worries!”

“You think?”

“Yeah!” Spike stood, at least this had kept his mind off the impending rendezvous with Buffy…

“So, did you get your song finished – I’d love to hear it!”

“You would? – Oh – well alright then…I could do with a run-through, I’ll just get my guitar”

Spike sat on the stool, Clem sat up straight in the comfy chair, all ears waiting for his friend to start.

After the first verse, Spike saw Clem’s face begin to crumple and it un-nerved him. By the end of the second verse, tears were running down his face, and when he’d finished, he was almost sobbing.

“Bloody hell Clem, is it that bad?”

“N-no, no! It’s…it’s the m-most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Really – oh, um, thanks…er let me get you a, here, Kleenex”

Clem took a tissue and blew his nose, and all his proboscis and antenna shot out again for a second or two.

When he was all composed again, Clem said,

“If I was Buffy, I’d love you”

Spike just swallowed and looked at Clem and said,

“Let’s have a little Dutch courage, eh mate? Just the one though”

He poured them both a double measure, and handed one to Clem and announced,

“Here’s to a successful evening”

“Here, here!” Clem said, and they both downed the raw spirit in one, winced and then grinned at each other. Spike put the bottle away so they wouldn’t be tempted, and they sat playing cards for a while.

Soon the time came for Spike to leave, and he and Clem exchanged solemn back slapping hug, and a firm ‘good-luck’ handshake.

At nine o’clock, Spike left for Buffy’s house, with everything he needed in the trunk of his car.

He’d told Buffy to wear whatever she liked, but to think ‘beach’, and to be ready at 9pm.

Buffy slicked on some pearly pink gloss on her lips and fluffed her fringe. There, she was ready. She’d chosen a black tiered peasant style skirt and a pretty little white top, quite low-cut, she decided on a shawl to complete the ‘gypsy’ look, she put on some mules so she could easily slip them off and walk through the sand bare-footed. She looked at the clock, it was 8.54pm, Spike would be here soon…………





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