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16. Soulless.

Tears ran down Buffy’s pale face, and silent sobs shook her thin body. When Willow came into the library that day, she felt sorry to see Buffy in such a state.
“I’ve done nothing but cry” Buffy admitted; not even bothering to dry her eyes.
“I thought I had no more tears to cry…but I had…”
“But...are you ok? This morning, on the phone, you were so weird”
“I told my mom I still had a headache and I stayed home”
“With…him?” Willow asked.
“No” Buffy shook her head. “Willow, I’m desperate. I don’t know what to do. I gave him my love, my blood…and my body. All of myself…and it wasn’t enough. It’s never enough” Buffy started to cry again.
“Shhh” Willow warned her. “If Mr. Giles comes back and sees you like this, how could you explain it? Don’t you think he would suspect something? We have been good at telling lies until now…but what can you tell him?
“I don’t give a damn!” Buffy told. “I’m sure he loves me. He just can’t admit that…”
“Who, Mr. Giles?”
“Willow, please!” frustrated, Buffy blew her nose noisily. “Angelus. Last night we were together, and it was…wonderful. Sublime. Then, this morning he left. And he was so cold…so nasty. He broke my heart, Will…because I know he’s lying. He must be lying”
Willow embraced her friend. “And if he’s right, Buffy?” she whispered, caressing her golden hair. “And if he knows that you have no future? He’s a vampire, for God’s sake…he has no soul. Don’t you know what this means? There’s no love or happiness for you. Your love for him has already been dangerous for you...two days ago you were dying. Maybe you should be thankful for the fact that he’s wise enough to try to keep away from you…or he’s just too nasty to care about you. In either case there’s no future for you, and he knows that. I’m sorry, but you should accept that…and try to live without him”
Buffy pulled away from Willow. “I don’t accept it…understood?” In her pale face, her vivid green eyes shone.
Willow nodded. She knew better than anyone else how difficult it was to accept human limits. But you could try to push them …just a bit…
“Hey girls, what sad faces you have!”
Buffy and Willow turned suddenly. Xander was standing at the door, and he was looking at them with a disappointed expression.




The doorbell of the Magic Box made a sweet sound, like an afterlife invitation in that little space devoted to occult sciences. The innocent citizens of Sunnydale thought that the modest shop full of ancient dust was only the latest eccentric thing…but Jenny Calendar admired the goods on the shelves.
There were a few people interested in magic in Sunnydale, and the shopkeeper of the Magic Box was among them.
“Good morning my wonderful lady. I guess you’re not here to buy a love spell: with such a lovely face and body you don’t need one”
Jenny smiled, gratified. “In fact I’m here for something more everlasting than love…and more satisfactory…for a long term relationship. I would like a globe of Thesulah”
“Oh, dear lady, you’re right…you don’t speak the sweet language of love, but the cruel one of vengeance…I’ll give you the last one I have…but believe me, it will be useful only as a paperweight. The spell you’re searching for is lost”
“I’m workin’ on it” whispered Jenny, smiling sweetly.
“Well…you look like you know what to do” the shopkeeper wrapped the opalescent globe and took Jenny’s credit card. “But be careful. Here in Sunnydale it can be very dangerous to buy these things”
“I’ll be careful” answered Jenny, and she went away with the globe in her large leather bag.


“My lord…the night’s shuddering. The night’s tinkling. Bad things will happen at dawn…shh…I’m shaking”
“Be careful Dru” Angelus replied briefly, in a very bad mood. “It’s evening time. Sleep a bit”
“Yeah, you both should sleep” Spike replied, reading the newspaper. “I’ve got a headache. It looks as if someone is like a cat on hot bricks”
“No, I’m not” Angelus replied softly, raising his eyes to look at his irritating companion.
“If you’re sure…” Spike replied with a sarcastic smile. “Your mood proves the contrary”
Drusilla stood up suddenly, and started to shout.
“Make her stop it!” Angelus ordered.
Spike showed him two fingers, and went upstairs.
Furious, Angelus covered the vampiress’s face with his hand, until she fainted in his arms.




“So? What’s up, girls? A bad mark?”
“Xander, it’s none of your business” Willow answered. “Buffy…”
“No, let’s tell him everything” the Slayer replied. “He has to know. He has to laugh. Are you happy Xander? My new boyfriend has left me. I guess you’ll like this news”
“Who, the blonde one?” Xander asked, already confused at seeing Buffy crying.
“No…another one.”
“Another one? Buffy, what…?
“I haven’t lost any time” she replied. “ Like you when you left me for Cordelia”
“Are you still angry?”
“Not at all” Buffy replied, uninterested and near to crying again. Angelus…
Xander noticed something he hadn’t seen till that moment.
“What the hell is that…Buffy?”
The two girls followed his glance.
Buffy’s mini-kilt didn’t cover her thighs well when she walked. On her left leg there was a wound. A…bite?
“A dog…a wild dog” Willow stated.
“A cat…an angry cat” Buffy whispered simultaneously.
Xander looked at them both.
“Was it a…cat, a dog or…an over-passionate lover?”
The two girls looked at each other. Buffy covered her legs immediately, but she couldn’t resist slowly touching her wound, enjoying the painful heat it provoked in her…reheating her blood…
“I really would like to understand you, Buffy…but I can’t - I haven’t for a long time. You do know that, right?”
She nodded. She had no more doubts: when she had given her blood to Angelus, all the bonds with her past had broken. She even had doubts about her relationship with her mom: God, if she only knew what she had done in that house, in her virginal bed…Spike was right. Angelus had taken everything from her, even her reason…without giving anything back.
Almost. She hoped that he really loved her…that if he had wanted, if it had been possible for him to eradicate the evil in himself, then he…
“I have to do my homework” she stated, distantly, picking up her books. She just wanted to go back to her room, the one in which she had been with Spike and Angelus, and cry. And then, cry a bit more.
Xander and Willow watched her leave.
“She doesn’t look good” Xander stated. “And she doesn’t look happy”
“No, she’s not” Willow admitted, embarrassed at being alone with him.
“And I’m not happy without you, Will” replied him. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Going out with Cordelia is a torture. She doesn’t deserve to be deceived…no one deserves it. But I have to listen to my heart”
Willow stepped backwards, until her back was against the shelves. “Xander, I…”
“Shhh…” he told her. “Please Will…give me something”
Willow closed her eyes. Hesitating a bit, she reached out her hand…and Xander took her sweetly by her wrist, putting her hand on his jeans. She gasped. With the other hand, Xander unzipped his trousers…and he helped Willow take hold of his erect penis with her pale and nervous fingers.
“Yeah…like that…”
Willow kept her eyes closed, following the rhythm he gave her, and she smiled to hear him moan. Xander took her sweetly by her head, putting her down in front of him.
Willow opened her eyes. What…did…he want her to do?
She would never know.
Because at that moment Cordelia came in.

“What’s your plan?” Darla asked, furious. She couldn’t believe her eyes: Faith, that dangerous snake, was seated on the Mayor’s desk and he was smiling. What a couple! “I told you I would take care of Angelus…and this little bitch has poisoned him!”
“Your Angelus is fine” the Mayor stated. “This morning he left the Slayer’s house…the other Slayer of course”
“Who saved him with her blood” Faith stated. “They’re perfect together”
Darla sat down on a chair. Drusilla had told her Angelus was safe; she had come to her to give her the good news, but Dru wasn’t properly sane…and she had forgotten to tell Darla what the “cure” was: Buffy Summers’ blood.
Darla felt horribly angry. She wanted to erase Wilkins’ stupid smile…and turn Faith into a mass of blood.
And she would have done that…if someone else hadn’t arrived.
“Darla is right” the newcomer stated, in his husky drawl with the marked Texan accent. “You really don’t know how dangerous…and…impulsive your actions have been”.
Darla turned around. Faith concentrated her attention on him, and Wilkins stopped to smile.
Lindsey Mc Donald, a Wolfram & Hart junior partner, certainly knew how to make an entrance.



And the same was true of Cordelia Chase, “Queen C.”. In fact she was the most popular girl at Sunnydale High. And she was also the most furious.
“You…with this zero…kneeling down…in front of you? What the hell does it mean?”
Willow stood up slowly. It had been fun, and she wasn’t feeling embarrassed or guilty at all. No, she was secretly satisfied. The beautiful Cordelia. The rich Cordelia. The popular Cordelia.
But Cordelia’s boyfriend had come to the nerd Willow Rosenberg. Maybe I’m not so insignificant, Willow thought. She looked at Cordy with shining dark eyes, and the Homecoming Queen took a step back…as if she faced a primordial and unknown power.
“It means that it’s over.” Willow whispered, in a strange voice.
“This girl needs an exorcist…and to stop hanging out with your freaky former girlfriend. Freaky and bitch…Are those the kind of girls you like?”
Xander looked at them both. Willow was his best friend, and also his secret obsession…since that night they had kissed each other in the toilet at the Bronze.
But Cordy was his girlfriend…and his reward. His ticket to social inclusion. He couldn’t lose her.
“My book fell down” he tried to justify himself.
Cordelia gave him a scornful look. She had in her time given enough blowjobs to recognize one. She left the library furious, crying sad and angry tears. Xander, you damned…why did she hook up with such a loser? If Buffy Summers, one of the nicest and most controversial girls in the school, hadn’t been his girlfriend, she wouldn’t even have noticed him. But something…something had enthralled her. God knew she couldn’t remember what it was. Close to the door, Cordy ran into Miss Calendar, and her bag fell down: a big, opalescent globe slid on to the floor.
“I’m sorry!” Cordelia whimpered, feeling so stupid…Xander followed her, and Willow and the teacher were alone. Neither of them could ignore the elephant between them.


“What do you mean, Mr. Lawyer?” Wilkins scowled, inviting Lindsey to sit down. The lawyer smiled and took Darla’s hand. On his young and sexy face appeared a sweet, ironic smile: she was gorgeous. Darla’s glance became sweeter: she didn’t love anybody, but she was moved by Lindsey’s sincere adoration. She thought about the first time they made love: she had almost killed him, and he would have let her! Then he stayed home for a week and she cured him. Like a perfect nurse.
“As you know, Mr. Wilkins, Wolfram & Hart- whom I represent- have powerful tools at our disposal: technological tools…and occult experts. We have a team of clairvoyants and sensitives, and many among them are from parallel dimensions where the empathic capacities are very well trained…I’m thinking- for example- of Pylea.”
“Yes, I’ve heard a bit about them. They’re useful to help discover if your partners are cleaning you out”
“Among other things” Lindsey told. “And if I tell you that all these people have whirled around like dervishes all week long?”
Wilkins smiled. “I’m listening, Mr. Lawyer”
“Something big is going to happen here in Sunnydale…you won’t believe it, but it’s something bigger than your Ascension Day”
“Go on”
“The world balance is going to break down for ever”
“The Slayer will die?” Wilkins asked, looking anxiously at Faith.
“Something worse. You know that for thousands of years, good and evil forces have been playing important roles in the world’s balance”
“Good…evil…what irrelevant definitions” Wilkins remarked.
“You’re right…but you have to admit that when an evil force is turned into a good one- or vice versa- well, that’s not irrelevant at all. And that’s what’s going to happen”
“Faith, are you going to betray me?” Wilkins asked, scanning her with a deep look.
“Never, boss” she answered with a dark and passionate look. She adored that sort of father.
“This is not the right time to play with vampires like Angelus and William the Bloody”, Lindsey replied. “It’s time to wait and watch events, ready for anything. So, the operation `Scourge of Europe’ is officially adjourned”
Wilkins remained silent for a long instant.
And then he exploded.
“Wait a second…since when am I taking orders from Wolfram & Hart? Who do you think you are to give me orders?”
Lindsey took an old-looking document from his overnight bag.
“It was 1924…and you signed this contract with the New York branch of our legal office. It’s not complicated…it was a simple alliance, one among the many you have signed with the hellish powers during these years. Here at the foot, in red, you can see your signature…your blood”
Wilkins sat down. He had forgotten that alliance. He had signed so many contracts: with Machida, with Lurconis…and with other devilish powerful entities even less decorous and gentle.
“Our archives are very well organized…it was extremely easy to find this” Lindsey stated, closing his overnight bag. “Now, if you don’t mind, Darla and I will stay here for a couple of days and then we’ll leave. Regarding you, Miss…”
“Faith…” the slayer whispered, sulkily.
“Have you ever thought about a free-lance career?”
Faith didn’t answer; she was staring at Wilkins. She didn’t like to see him lose: she wanted to stake Darla and shoot that so-called lawyer with his too-long hair hanging in his eyes.
But she was clever enough to understand when it was time to stay low and shut up.
Darla and Lindsey left and she was alone with the Mayor.
“You…you won’t go, will you?”
“No” she smiled. “I’ll never leave you”.



“I lied, my love” Lindsey whispered, when they were in the limousine. His lips were kissing Darla’s velvet neck near her breast. “We’ll get away from here soon…probably tomorrow, because what has to happen, will happen at dawn”
“And I don’t care” she laughed, showing her perfect teeth. He kissed her and he lost, as usual, his coldness and his reason.
“You will” he answered, looking at her with…compassion. He couldn’t reveal the truth to her. Not yet, maybe never. She would do anything to prevent it. Everything. And Wolfram & Hart wanted that: chaos was its daily bread.
Like everyone, she needed to learn to live with the consequences of her actions.
“Shh…” he told her. In the comfortable and intimate darkness of the car he took one of her breasts, torturing it with fake bites…bites that she could really and painfully give him. “Stay with me tonight”
“I have to eat” she replied.
“I’ve some blood with me…and if you want you can take mine too”
The shyness he showed as he said that didn’t move her. She was sad, because she knew how temporary human passions were. That one more than any other.
With skilled movements she unzipped his trousers and sat astride him, raising her leather skirt and her slip. Lindsey entered into her cool womb…it was so different from the one of a living woman…and her half-opened blue eyes were so enthralling…
“I love you” he told her while she was riding him; her eyes were fixed on the pulsing vein, in evidence under his golden skin.
“And I love your blood” she smiled, and one minute later she bit him.



“Spike!” Angelus cried, as Dru woke up…and began to cry desperately. “Take her off me! She’s suffocating!”
Raising his eyes to the sky, Spike came downstairs and took Dru in his arms. She raised her voice in a desperate howling.
“I don’t know what she’s done” Angelus said nervously.
“She is shocked. She hasn’t behaved like that for a long time…not even that night when you were sick. What’s up with Buffy? She can finally kill you?”
“You’d like that, uh?” Angelus replied, smiling.
“Don’t be so trivial Scourge” Spike said. “It’s not that simple, and you know it”
“You can’t stand that she has done this for me. That she’s ready to give her life for me…for an immoral monster like me. Well, breaking news: you’re no better”.
“And who made me like this?” Spike asked, bitterly.
“Poor little William. So good and innocent…I told you a long time ago, don’t pretend not to remember it. No one of us deserves anything. You can do what you want, but things don’t change. There’s no mine or yours…but you can take what you want. And we took Buffy Summers…you too, yes. But she’s not ours…maybe it is time to leave her alone. Yes maybe that’s the right solution”
“Are you totally sure? Well Angelus, let me say that you still look very confused”
“Take care of Dru, calm her down. I can’t stand her anymore. I’m going out”
He went towards the huge door: Spike wanted to break his nose. Angelus had Buffy’s love, now he knew that. And he threw it away.
A desperate feeling of helplessness pervaded him. If she had only loved him…neither the sky, or the ground, not even the sea could have stopped him from being next to her. There was no obstacle he wouldn’t pass. There was no enemy he wouldn’t fight.
To become hers.
Angelus was right: William had never learned that lesson.
Dru stood up and stretched her hand out towards Angelus. Both men stopped: in her limpid violet eyes they saw a metaphysical- and deadly- clarity.
“At dawn, what is lost will be found”
Dru started to cry again, softly.
Angelus came back. He might be confused or angry, but he was not stupid. He never underestimated Dru’s visions, because they had saved his life more than once.
“What the hell are you talkin’ about Dru? What’s up?”
Dru looked as if she was in a trance: she knelt down on the floor and stretched her hands out in front of her, tracing a circle.
“You killed the Romany’s favorite daughter. They won’t forgive you. Vengeance is a living thing…it has teeth as sharp as yours. In the Hellmouth, where the Master died, they’re preparing a dawn of pain for you…of endless pain. Run Angelus…run, or you won’t stop them!”
Angelus stiffened. He remembered the girl: a lovely girl, still innocent. Only afterwards had he discovered she was a gypsy.
Angelus didn’t eat gypsies. His Irish nurse- two hundred and fifty years before- had told him that a gypsy would bring his death. Angelus was superstitious, like almost all people of his century. And he had always kept far from the gypsies.
But that time…damn, she was dressed like an upper class schoolgirl…how could he know?!
Only the day after, reading the newspapers for distraction, had he discovered she was the youngest daughter and the pride of her father, the king of the Romanies.
“Maybe it’s time to visit Buffy’s watcher” he said, knowing that the Master fell from the Sunnydale High library roof…and he knew also that the library was not only over the Hellmouth, but was also the Scoobies’ headquarters. “If Buffy is responsible for this, I…” His anger, that had been pushing since the previous night, had now found an escape. The demon in him was roaring.
Spike didn’t answer. When Angelus went out, Dru looked at him.
“For you, it will be even more painful” she told him. “Because fools rush in where angels fear to tread”
Without saying a word, Spike left her alone in the Crawford Street mansion.


Buffy killed the newly born vampire without any problem. She didn’t have to concentrate…and it was good, because all her thoughts were about Angelus and their last night. She needed him…and she couldn’t accept his dismissal. All that hurting and patrolling wasn’t making her feel any better.
“Good, you’re here” Spike gasped, running towards her. “Buffy, your friends are in danger”
Buffy stared at him. “Who the hell are you talking about?”
“Dru foresaw for Angelus that someone- in the high school library- is preparing something terrible for him. Is it your red-haired friend’s fault?”
Buffy regretted what she had told him: how could he enter into her mind? It was weird, but when they were lovers…they had warm feelings, an intimacy that Buffy had never felt with anyone, especially not with Angelus. She had told him about her friends…and about the gang’s adventures. Now she saw him so far…in her soul she had space only for a dark passion. A passion that covered everything: heart and mind.
But a part of her was missing the mutual understanding that she always had felt with Spike.
“So?” she replied, boldly.
“Don’t you understand? Angelus is looking for them. He will stop them”
Buffy stood, stiffened by anger.
“You’re jealous and you want to put us against one another. But I won’t let you”
Spike knocked her down. Shocked, Buffy rubbed her painful jaw: his blow wasn’t too strong, but sufficient to surprise and mortify her.
“You are a silly girl. Forget your enormous ego and think with what’s left of your brain, even if you destroyed it all fucking the Scourge. Angelus is angry with you, only God knows why, and he wants to kill everyone in his way. And now he’s going to the library. And if you don’t want something horrible to happen to your friends, you’d better run, and be ready to dust him if you have to. Do you think you can?”
The mortal seriousness of his words penetrated into Buffy’s blind mind. Spike could have his reasons, his feelings…but he wasn’t lying. Angelus was on a deadly path…and on the other side of the road there were her friends. She had never felt so defeated: she had brought him into their lives.
Buffy ran towards the library.


Willow took the globe. It was warm against her fingers…and it emanated power.
“Nice artefact” she stated, apparently uninterested, under Jenny’s restless look. “You know Miss Calendar, I’ve heard that such objects are used for certain spells…to give a vampire his soul back. Are you thinking of…anybody?”
Jenny held out her hand to take the globe…and Willow held on to it. She liked holding it in her hand.
“Uh-uh” Willow whispered. “Only if you let me watch”
“Little girl, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Give it to me!”
Willow concentrated…and made it levitate.
Both she and Jenny were amazed: it was the first time she had tried such a big spell, and she’d never thought she could do it. Willow felt deliciously invincible.
Night was falling outside. The two women were standing still, one in front of the other, with the globe between them, when something fell down from the glass roof, the same roof from which the Master had fallen, staking himself.
The big dark image stood up, staring at them.
He was a gorgeous man, he wore black leather trousers and a dark silk shirt. As the broken glass tinkled around him, Willow and Jenny stepped back. That dark and mysterious angel was looking at the opalescent globe…and in his dark beautiful eyes they both saw death.
“You shouldn’t play with these objects” he whispered in a low voice. “Were you planning a spell against me?”
“Angelus” Jenny said, becoming self assured again. “Finally we meet”
“Angelus…” Willow whispered, understanding everything. Beautiful, so beautiful…the opposite. Evil. The dark charm…
Angelus took the globe. It was shining in his pale, elegant hand.
“It will be so easy to break it…like breaking all your bones…”
Jenny gasped, but she didn’t surrender.
Willow made another spell: her eyes turned black and the globe disappeared.
“Ohhh…” Angelus said, smiling. “The naughty girl loves dangerous games”
Willow raised a hand. “Fiat lux!”
A shining light invaded the library, like sunlight…but it wasn’t the sun. Angelus covered his eyes as he followed them. Willow ran away, hoping that Jenny was doing the same. The young gypsy had almost escaped from the library when something powerful caught her: she was in the monster’s arms.
The fake light Willow created had gone.
Angelus opened his eyes, fixing them in Jenny’s dark and expressive ones, on her beautiful pale face, on her gasping breast. It looked like the embrace of a lover.
But it wasn’t.
“You…still…don’t have…a soul” she whispered.
“No, sweetie, I don’t” Angelus smiled.
And then, with a rapid gesture, he broke her neck.




Buffy ran faster than she knew how. Her thoughts were confused…could she kill him? Could she really dust him? Her duty was clear…it had never been so clear. She couldn’t let Angelus became a threat to her friends. But…was she worthy of that task? And if Spike was wrong? If he had lied to her? Please God, I hope he did, she repeated in her mind desperately, like a mantra…
She came into the school through the back entrance…the library was nearby. There was perfect silence.
When she was at the glass door, left ajar, she hesitated.
What was inside could break her heart. Could she face this?
She gathered her strength and went in.
There was nobody inside.
In the middle of the room, right where the Hellmouth opened, there was a dark bundle. Someone had left a…
Buffy gasped. Jenny. Oh my God, it was Jenny.
Her eyes were open, her mouth was a slit. And her head was in a totally unnatural position with respect to her neck.
Buffy cried out, and she almost didn’t notice Giles and Willow running towards her.
Her world was shattered.




“Jenny…Jenny!” Rupert Giles cried, holding her. Her beautiful pale face, her ancient grace, her love…the only true love in his lonely life…she should have been his future.
Now, she was only his past.
Giles looked at Willow, who was crying, then at Buffy, immovable.
“Who did this?”
Buffy turned her head, she couldn’t look her watcher in the eyes. Because she felt responsible for that absurd death. She was devastated. Night had fallen on Sunnydale and they heard the police sirens. Something had probably triggered the school alarm. “Leave before Snyder arrives!” Giles whispered. “I don’t want you to get involved”
Buffy didn’t move, until Willow took her arm and they went out. She wanted to tell everything to her watcher. Tell him that it was her fault. Only her fault…but Willow didn’t agree.
“It’s all my fault” Buffy cried, desperate. “I should have killed him. Both of them. And…I was their toy. Oh God, how can I ever forgive myself…”
“Shhh” Willow comforted her, while they walked down the school path.
On the other side of the road they saw Oz.
“Oz, you don’t know what’s happened…”
“I know everything Will” the boy replied, coldly. “Cordelia told me everything”
Willow stared at him without understanding. Then, she got it.
“No, Oz, I wasn’t talking about that…I…”
“Why didn’t you tell me everything?” Oz replied, apparently calm; but in his eyes she saw a wounded expression.
“You and Xander. You should have been honest. I’ve always been honest with you. And now…I think I don’t really know you at all”
“Oz, listen” Buffy said, still crying. “Jenny Calendar is dead. A vampire killed her and I…”
“What?” Oz looked at Willow. “Are you both ok? Were you with her?”
“I was with her” Willow admitted. “He attacked us…he was a dangerous vampire. But I ran away. Unfortunately Miss Calendar didn’t…”
“Does Mr. Giles know that?”
Willow nodded. “He was out with one of his colleagues. I called him on the phone…I gave him an alibi, thank God!”
“Oh my God” Oz said, horrified.
Buffy started to cry again.
“I must take her home” Willow said, practically. “We’ll talk about our problems tomorrow if you don’t mind”
Oz shook his head. “This doesn’t change anything, I’m sorry. Do you deny you were with…Xander?”
Willow shook her head, her eyes full of tears. Finally she realized how much she cared about him…now that she was losing him. God, how superficial she had been!
“You have to give me time Willow. And I don’t think it will be enough” he sincerely told him. “But now you both have to rest. I’ll go inside…to help Giles if I can”
Willow nodded, her heart was broken.
With no more words, the two girls went to Willow’s house.



He felt strong. He felt fine.
He was tasting again the pure evil. What the insipid love of that blonde doll had nearly erased.
No, I’m not like that, he told himself, smoking another cigarette. A blonde prostitute was at his feet. Despite the fact that he had drained her completely, he didn’t felt a tenth of the satisfaction he felt when he broke the neck of that charming gypsy…but the night was young and the hunting open. And soon he would also have killed that naughty girl who played Sabrina.
What had the beautiful Jenny told him before dying? That he had no soul? So?
He remembered the putrid taste those things had. The rotten and cloying flavour of remorse and regrets…no, fortunately he had got rid of it two hundred and fifty years before. Just in time.
He had forgotten. That and Buffy Summers’ kisses.
Better not to think about that. Absolutely not.
Better to hunt.



“Take it. It’s hot at least”
Buffy took the cup in her hands, sitting on Willow’s bed, a blanket round her. She was trembling and she had no more tears to cry. Almost. Giles wasn’t alone fortunately: Oz and Xander were with him. Even if it was really embarrassing being together after Oz had discovered his affair with Willow, both of them decided to cooperate. Rupert needed them.
Buffy told her mom the nth lie: she couldn’t count the nights she stayed out until dawn anymore. But soon, all this would stop. It had to stop. Even if she had to stake both Angelus and William the Bloody.
“How are you?” she asked Willow, who was extremely pale.
“Bad” she admitted. “Your boyfriend wanted to kill us…and Oz has left me. Forever”
Buffy bit her lips. “It’s ok if I tell you I’m sorry?”
Willow nodded.
“It’s my fault too” she admitted, honest as usual. “I shouldn’t have helped you to find a cure for Angelus. If it wasn’t for me, now he would be dead. And Jenny would still be alive”
Buffy covered her face with her hands. She didn’t want to think about that. She couldn’t think about that. If she had done it, she would have been glad that he was still alive…and how could she have lived with the awareness of her vileness?
“Listen to me” Willow told her. “You must stay in control. I know you want to tell everything to Mr. Giles…to feel better. But can you imagine how much he would suffer knowing you were intimate with that…that monster? Buffy, you must be strong, get through this moment and decide what to do. Calmly”
“I can’t let him live anymore” Buffy stated in a low voice. “Who will be next? You? He saw you using magic against him…don’t you think he will try to kill you?”
“There are various possibilities”
Buffy laughed, bitterly.
“Let’s be serious now Willow. There is only one. I have to take a stake…and dust him”
Buffy closed her eyes. “I know I have to do that. I have known that for a long time. But I have to find the strength to do it. Lord, please, give me the strength, because I don’t have it now”
Willow became more serious. “Men are so hypocritical. They use us like Kleenex…and then they judge us. Xander was fond of me…and then he went back to Cordelia. Oz has suddenly forgotten how many worries his lycanthropy has caused me. And your Angelus…”
“Better not talk about that” Buffy admitted.
“If they only knew…if they only understood what real love is…then they wouldn’t behave like that”
“If only Angelus had a soul” Buffy sighed. “He would be aware of his feelings for me…and he couldn’t avoid loving me…I’m sure”
Willow stared at her.
“Repeat what you just said”
“I’ve told you…what’s up Will? What are you thinking about?”
“Jenny wanted that. She wanted to give him a soul” Willow said, in a trance.
“What?!” Buffy cried, more and more doubtful. “Kill him? I told you I can’t…but I will. Sooner or later I will…I swear to you”
Willow stared at Buffy. “Maybe it’s not necessary”


In a hour, dawn would come. A dawn after a long bloody night. Angelus came back to Crawford Street and went to his room. Dru and Spike were asleep on the bed: they held each other but they still had their clothes on after their hunt. Angelus thought about sleeping in another room, but he changed his mind. He felt restless. But it was weird: he had no hesitation to kill that night. Again and again...
What the hell was going on?
He took off his golden chain and the shirt. With just his trousers on he lay down close to Dru. His movements woke Spike up, who looked at him.
“Was it a good hunt?” he asked him and Angelus understood immediately what he meant.
“Buffy’s fine, don’t worry. And the same goes for her wicca friend” he replied.
Spike relaxed a bit.
They both had problems falling asleep; they both had something to think about, and their limbs were heavy due to the coming dawn.
They were both sure it would be a dawn of change.


“Are you sure?” Buffy asked, looking at Willow, who was laying out around them little white bones and burning some perfumed grasses, whose fumes were hurting their eyes.
“And you?”
Buffy nodded and Willow stared at her. “We’re trying a very powerful spell…it’s also very dangerous. You told me you couldn’t kill Angelus and I told you that maybe you didn’t have to. Because we only have to use Jenny’s spell…the one she wanted to use”
“But it would have been a vengeance for her”
“And…for you?”
Buffy shook her head desperately. “I don’t want vengeance. If I wanted that I would follow Angelus with a stake…and one of us would die. I want him to love me again. I want him to feel like I feel…I want to give him a soul…and I want his soul to force him to change his feelings, to love me as I love him. That’s nothing to do with vengeance”
“You want him for yourself” Willow stated. “Even if he has killed…even if he has been killing for three centuries”
“Yes, I want him for myself. At any cost” Buffy looked at Willow. “I’m ready for anything. Even to give him a soul”
“He won’t be thankful for that”
“But he would be forced to love me. To stay with me. And I wouldn’t be alone anymore…”
Willow nodded. She understood Buffy.
And, to be honest, she wanted to prove to herself how good she was, to explore new magic kingdoms…each of them, opening, was telling her that she was worthy and that it would erase her pain of living, her feeling of inadequacy, her loneliness. A promise of victory.
“Well, let’s start. Dawn’s coming: the time vampires are weakest. If we’re lucky, Angelus is sleeping. He won’t even realize it. And when he wakes up…”
“…he’ll be mine” Buffy finished, really pale. “Go on”
“Buffy, another thing. I’ve changed the original spell, in which the curse would disappear if he lived a moment of happiness. Angelus won’t lose his soul…ever”
“Good” Buffy nodded, relaxed. She couldn’t have lived with such a Sword of Damocles over her head. “He will be mine forever. Now, let’s start”
Inexorable, the two teenagers began to change the balance between good and evil forever.
Throwing the universe into chaos.




Dawn had come. In the east the livid pale sunlight was gilding the roofs of the houses downtown.
Rupert Giles was crying at home, drinking whisky and listening to “Tales of Brave Ulysses”. Jenny’s body was lying at the morgue. Tomorrow he would look for the killer. Now, he could only cry.
Xander was in his basement, listening to country music, the music of pain. Oz was in his bed, awake, thinking of his Willow and her unacceptable betrayal.
Dru, Spike and Angelus slept in their bed, under black satin sheets. In that immutable sepulchre they were together for the last time.
Buffy and Willow were seated facing each other in the livid dawn, their hands united on the bones, grasses and crosses.
With a gesture, Willow called the globe, and it became visible.
“Where…?” Buffy whispered, amazed.
“Shh…” Willow replied. “I had to make it disappear…or Angelus would have broken it. It’s fundamental for the spell”
Willow put the globe down in front of her.
Buffy held the spell that Willow had taken from Jenny’s floppy. Her soft voice spread in the early morning light. Willow’s lower voice echoed.
“Quod perditum est, invenietur”
“Not dead, not a man”
“We call you, powerful spirits”
“Let him know human pain, oh Gods”
“Reach out to us with your magic hands”
“Give us the sword”
“We invoke…”
The globe disappeared. A white and shining light came over Willow. Like one possessed, she jerked her neck back and cried out in a deep and unknown language.
Buffy stepped back, terrified.
A mysterious power had invaded her friend, priestess of that ancient and filthy ritual.
There was no return.


A mysterious power woke Angelus. He stood up suddenly, and on his naked chest a purifying and painful light appeared…a violent light spread into his eyes. Angelus cried out, like a wild creature.
And the missing piece came back.
Bringing with it only pain.





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