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Title: Meant To Be
Part: 17/?

"I'm a Slayer. The Slayer. All formal title having and everything."

"The what?" Hank looked up from the newspaper he'd been reading when Buffy walked into the kitchen.

"I'm the Slayer. Vampire Slayer, actually. But there's demons and stuff too, not just vampires, I mean." She stood next to Hank, but looked at Joyce as she spoke. "It's why I burned down Hemery's gym. It was all vampire infested."

"Was that older man I saw you with a vampire?" Joyce asked, taking deep, shaky breaths.

"I..." Buffy looked down sadly. "That was my Watcher, Merrick. He died. Giles is my Watcher now. All slayers have one. They guide and train them and... well... watch them."

Hank stood up. "I have to get back to my home." He went and kissed Buffy's cheek. "I'll see you in a couple of weekends, Princess."

"But..."

"Hank, don't you think you should stay for this conversation?"

"I really have to go." With that said he was gone in less than a minute.

"I didn't really expect that." Buffy gave a half laugh. "Denial-land must be a nice place... you think I could visit for a couple of, oh say, decades?"

"Your father has different ways of dealing with shocking news."

"Shocking?" Buffy frowned. "I'm sorry, Mom. I wanted to tell you before. I was just afraid..."

"Of what?"

"I'm not normal. I didn't want you to be ashamed of me. I didn't want you to hate me."

"Buffy," Joyce pulled her into a tight hug. "You're my baby. I love you no matter what. Just because you're this... Slayer, that doesn't change anything. Well... maybe a few things, like curfew, I guess. But you're still my daughter. There is one thing I don't understand. William, his face... and that woman..."

Buffy squirmed out of her mothers embrace and leaned against the counter. "Spike and Drusilla are vampires. Actually so is Angel... remember him? I said he was my tutor?"

"Vampires." Joyce sighed. "How... er... long has William been a vampire for? Did he just... become a vampire?"

"You don't really wanna know, do you?"

"Buffy..."

"One-hundred and twenty-four years. S'not including how long he was alive for. He never told me how old he was when he was turned."

"He's older than me." Joyce cringed. "He's... goodness, he's dead. He's the living dead?"

"Yep. Well... I kinda think the P.C. term is 'undead'. Not that it makes much sense, does it? I mean, wouldn't being undead make you alive? But, uh, that's not important at the moment, is it?" Buffy giggled nervously.

"If you're this... Slayer... why haven't you..."

"Why haven't I killed him?" Joyce nodded. "We... I dunno, I guess we figured it was more fun making out and, er, stuff... than fighting. It's actually kinda funny, 'cause, yanno, he's tried to kill me quite a few times before."

Joyce's nodded her head. "I remember him now, from Parent-Teacher Night."

"Heh... yeah. I think he was always a little afraid you'd pull out an ax on him whenever his back was turned." Buffy cracked a small smile.

"Mr. Giles was right then, about him trying to hurt you?" Joyce's horror widened eyes would have been laughable at any other time.

"You don't have to worry about him hurting me, Mom. I know he wouldn't. Not anymore." Buffy said, putting all her hopes behind those words. Physically, she knew she was safe from him. But... her heart, her happiness and her very future lay in his hands. She didn't want him to crush them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was going stir crazy. It was barley eleven in the morning and she was bored to the point of tears. Well, that wasn't the only reason she was near tears. Her room was one big pit 'o Spike memories.

She couldn't even hold Mr. Gordo for comfort because she remembered Spike playing with the little piggy.

Her bed... the night before she'd ended up sleeping on her floor because she could smell Spike... and the scent of previous love-making on her sheets and pillows.

She knew she was thinking very cheaply of his love for her, but she couldn't help it. A large part of her knew he'd gone to Drusilla out of some final act of duty to his maker and once most beloved. That part also knew he wouldn't hurt her... he'd chose her in a minute over Drusilla, no matter how much the crazy vampiress would need him now.

Unfortunately, the smaller, nay-saying part of her seemed to have a much louder voice than the larger part. How could she not help but listen?

Buffy pondered getting drunk to drown the pain. It's what they did on TV and in the movies, right? Of course, there was a problem with that plan. The actual obtaining of booze. She knew she couldn't pass for twenty-one if her life depended on it.

Plus, she couldn't really forget the fiasco of the first time she decided drinking would be super cool and loads of fun. Who could say that she wouldn't end up the sacrifice to some demon?

Still needing some sort of comfort, she left her room and snuck downstairs. She wasn't in a talking mood. "Get the goods and get out", was the mantra she mouthed. Her mom was sitting in the living room, talking on the phone in hushed tones. Buffy thought about staying to try and listen to the conversation, but she really needed the ice cream to ease her sadness.

She opened the freezer and dug around before pulling out a carton of New York Super Fudge Chunk. She took the lid off and inhaled deeply. "Mmmmm."

Not wanting to make any noise that would get her mom's attention, she opted to lick the ice cream out of the carton instead of getting a spoon. She shut her eyes, relishing the cool ice cream for a second. It helped beat back some the emotional turmoil she was feeling.

"I thought you'd grown out of that? But, I guess it was just my wishful thinking." Joyce chuckled.

Buffy pulled her face from the carton and faced her. "Hehe... er... sorry?"

Joyce shook her head amused. She took a paper towel and handed it to Buffy. "Please don't drip."

She took the paper towel. "I'm not five, Mom." Buffy huffed in the perfect, annoyed teenager tone.

"Yes, because every seventeen year old wears ice cream on their face. Is it the latest trend?"

Buffy brought the paper towel to her face and wiped vigorously. "I didn't... uh... you were on the phone. I didn't wanna make any noise digging around for a spoon. Who were you talking to? Was it Daddy?"

"It was Mr. Giles, actually. He wanted to speak to you."

"He did?" A wave of dread passed through Buffy.

"I told him whatever it is was he needed to say to you could wait until tomorrow."

"Do I hafta go to school?" Buffy pouted.

"Yup." Joyce handed Buffy a spoon and pat her hair as she walked past her into the living room. "Oh! Willow stopped by earlier. She left a box for you."

"Really?" Buffy left the ice cream on the counter and followed Joyce. There was a box on the coffee table. It was sealed with tape. There was a large "Buffy's Stuff" written on one side of the box. "I wonder why she taped it." She mused as she ripped the tape off and opened it.

Her coat lay neatly folded on top, covering the other items... her gifts from Spike. Buffy's almost forgotten pain came rushing back and tears started to well in her eyes.

"Honey? What is it?"

"Uh... presents that Spike had given me. I'm just gonna..." She stood, clutching the box tightly to her. "I'll be in my room."

Joyce simply sighed and nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy'd been on her bedrooms floor for sometime, kneeling in front of the box. She had put the coat on, arms wrapped around her stomach as she worked herself up to taking the precious items out.

She took the journal out, holding it to her. It was full of pretty, rhyming words. Her heart ached at the thought of them being just that... words and nothing more.

Shaking her head of the negative thought, she put the journal on the floor and took out a delicate silk corset, thong and garter set that made her blush. She was suddenly very glad Willow had sealed the box. If her mother had seen them, she probably would have had a heart attack.

Underneath that lay a small box filled with various... toys. Spike had smirked at the shocked and confused look on Buffy's face. "I'll teach you how to use those the next time your mum goes out of town." He had promised with a wicked wink.

He'd given her a book of love poems. When she skimmed through it in the Bronze, she saw that he had written things next to certain poems. Some sweet like, "if I were a better poet, I'd of written something like this about you", some just funny like, "Yeah, like this ponce ever got any to know what it's like". Some places he's just written, "I love you Buffy Anne Summers".

Then there was the bracelet with her birthstone. She fingered a couple of the stones before fiddling with the clasp. She managed to get it on after a bit of hassle. If only she'd stayed put trying to get it on when they were at the Bronze instead of going off and looking for the missing present...

Speaking of the mystery gift... there was a small, velvet jewelry at the bottom of the box. Willow must have found it when she was rounding up the rest of her stuff.

She opened it with shaking hands. Inside was an exceedingly thin white gold chain resting against the soft lining. Hanging from it was a white gold heart encrusted with onyxes. On first glance it looked like an arrow was running through the heart. Buffy took it out of the box and held it up to see it better.

She started giggling. The little bit of white gold had been made to look like a stake. On the back was an inscription, "my heart, my life, my everything, it's all yours."

It was a matter of seconds before her giggling turned into sobs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy had spent a good deal of the afternoon crying in her room. The sun had set when she'd decided to change her clothes and head out to patrol. She felt that killing something... or at least getting to beat something up a whole bunch would make her feel just a teeny bit better.

But, Buffy soon began to wonder if patrolling was such a good idea. It wasn't that there was much demon action going on... it was that her feet had led her to the park. She looked at the Recreation Center for a long while before making her way to it.

As Buffy trekked up the ladder, she felt a slight twinge. Right back to the beginning. Every angsty, wonderfully perfect, heart-breaking moment she'd had since the day she and Spike had seen Angel and Drusilla betraying them... all of that and the love she'd gained for and from Spike began on the roof she stood on.

She was happy for what had happened that night. She had grown. It made her wiser. It made her love. Of course, she didn't think Jesus himself would have approved of her special brand of "love thy enemy", but it was true love.

Buffy shut her eyes tightly when she reached the center of the roof. She remembered the crushed look on Spike's face when he saw his two makers together. She remembered how worship-filled his voice had been when he'd whispered "Drusilla".

But, she mostly remembered how quickly he was at Drusilla's side when she'd gotten her soul and called out to him like a weak, little kitten.

She'd been a coward, running out when that happened. Her heart had shattered, much like the Orb had... into a zillion little pieces. What a great birthday present that had been.

It didn't help matters any that she hadn't seen or heard from him since then. Sure, a full twenty-four hours hadn't even passed since then, but her fears would not rest. Was he with Drusilla? Had he even spared her a thought?

"This is Hell." She said into the emptiness of the night. The wondering and worrying and waiting was killing her.

"That's not very optimistic, now is it?"

Buffy jumped and spun around. "What..."

"Kinda a coincidence, meeting you here." Buffy was surprised her slayer senses hadn't kicked in at his approach. "Actually, it wasn't. I've been looking for you for about an hour."

"Oh." Buffy didn't like the look on his gorgeous face as he came to stand next to her, staring out at the park grounds.

"I wanted to say goodbye before I left town."

"Y-You're leaving?"

"I'm taking Dru and heading... somewhere. I don't really know where yet."

Tears pooled in Buffy's eyes. "You're leaving with Drusilla."

"I... she needs someone to take care of her now more than ever. I understand her. I can help her... I hope."

There was a silence that was more than a little awkward. "I won't go if you ask me to stay. I love Drusilla, but I love you too, Buffy. A part of me always will."

She looked away, tears threatening to spill. "I don't need you. She does."

"I guess it just wasn't meant to be." He moved away from her. "If you ever need me..."

"You'll be gone?" She laughed.

"Well... yeah... but I'll get in touch with you once I get settled. Give you a number where you can reach me. Don't hesitate to call... for anything."

"Good luck with Drusilla. I hope she'll be okay."

He ducked his head sadly. "Goodbye, Buffy."





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