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As Buffy stood there, a soft breeze caused her hair to blow around her face. A few silky wisps stuck to her tear-stained face. "Bye, Angel."

Buffy moved to sit on the ledge of the roof... watching as the souled vampire walked out of sight and out of her life.

She wasn't sure how long she'd sat there, gazing out at nothing before the sun began to rise. She reluctantly got up and left. Her mom would probably be worried if she didn't at least make a guest appearance at home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow pulled away from Oz's sweet embrace when she saw a haggard looking Buffy walking down the hall. "I better go see how she is." She told him. "I'll see you later?"

"Sure."

She rushed over to Buffy. "Hey, Stranger." She greeted as casually as possible.

Buffy lifted her head to look at her. "Hey Wills." She forced a smile.

"So... how are you? I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want, but, you know... sometimes it's good to talk about your feelings. And stuff. And I've just been so worried about you. Your mom wouldn't even let me go up to see you and..."

"Willow... breathe." Buffy put a hand on Willow's arm. "I'm... okay. I'm a little worried about having to deal with Giles and 'The Talk'. But, I'm good."

"'The Talk'?" Willow frowned. "But Giles isn't your dad. Why would he..."

"Noooo." Buffy's eyes widened. She looked around the hall and motioned Willow to follow her to a less people dense area. "I meant the 'Spike's a vicious, evil, bad man, how could you even think about parading around with him? What will The Council say? And how dare you have broken my pretty glass?' talk." She said it in a weak imitation of Giles' accent, which made Willow giggle. "Oh my god, could you imagine Giles trying to explain the birds and the bees?" Both girls giggled at the thought.

"That'd just be scary."

"Oh yeah."

"Have you talked to Spike?" Willow blurted after a second.

Buffy's face fell. "No, I haven't." She leaned against some lockers. "I did see Angel, though."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He just wanted to say goodbye. I was so happy when he told me he was taking Drusilla, I cried."

"Will you miss him?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. It's not like we were the closest of pals these few months."

"True."

"Willow, can you tell me something?"

"Sure."

"What happened after I left The Bronze?"

The warning bell for class rang just then. "I'll tell you at lunch, okay?" Willow promised, glad she'd been saved for the moment.

Bufy sighed. "Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow had just left her classroom when Buffy pounced. "So..."

Why don't we get food, then I'll tell you, 'kay?" Willow smiled nervously, trying to think of ways to bend the truth or lessen the blow of what she was going t- tell Buffy.

Buffy pouted. "
kay, sure. Food it is."

After they got their lunches, they 1at outside underneath a tree. Willow shoved food into her mouth as soon as Buffy was about to aQk her to speak. Her mouth was so full she was sure she'd choke.

"Willow, please stop stalli g. It's making me nervous." Buffy said right before Willow was about to shove half her hamburge into her mouth.

"Stalling? Who's stalling? I'm certainly n
t stalling." She laughed nervou1ly. "Okay, so, um, you left The Bronze. Spike didn't seem too happy about it. He, he kinda whimpered your name. It was really sad. I mean, you could tell he wa ted to go after you, but Drusilla wouldn't let go of him no matter how hard he tried to pull away."

Willow, swirled a french fry in some ketchup on her lunAh tray. She didn't think she'd e eating any more, though. Just thinking about what she was going to tell Buffy made her stomach knot in the most unpleasant ways. She couldn't lie. Buffy deserved the truth.

Buffy was sitting there, ripping blades of grass into tiny bits and pieces. Her lunch was forgotten, becoming an all you can eat for ants and other insects.

"Your parents left almost right away. But, um, your dad said something along the lines of 'I don't want you freaks around my daughter, especially you' and gave Spike a pointed look.

Then Angel came in..."

**************************************************************************

"What the Hell happened??? I just ran into Buffy and she was crying." He saw Dru clutching Spike and growled. "What did you do to her?"

Spike finally managed to pry himself from Dru's grasp. "Take her." He shoved her into Angel's arms.

"Oh... my Angel." She sobbed.

Angel instinctively cradled her. "Drusilla, what's wrong?"

"They're all screaming at me. They're so angry. Please, Angel, make them stop."

Spike was making his way to the door when Giles' voice stopped him. "Buffy is above you. She represents all that is good and light. She deserves so much more than an evil, dead thing like you in her life."

Spike growled. "Sod off, Watcher."

"Stay away from her. If you love her at all... if she means anything to you, you will leave her be. She deserves a normal life. A chance at real happiness."

Spike glared at Giles for a long moment before going to the back room to get his coat. He was walking to the door once again when something caught his eye. He walked over to a booth and grabbed something off the seat.

He stalked over to Willow and put it in her hand. "Make sure the Slayer gets that." It wasn't a question or a request. It was a demand... and the tone it was given in made Willow shake as she nodded.

Then he was gone.

**************************************************************************

"He just... left?"

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I dunno, maybe he took what Giles said really seriously."

Buffy's heart wrenched painfully in her chest. That was it. Spike left because of Giles. No more Spike and Buffy... Buffy and Spike.

Just Buffy.

How was she supposed to go on without him? He was her world and she loved him more than anything. She'd be alone and miserable. She was already missing him from her life so much she couldn't even think. He didn't even try and fight for her. Didn't he know she would do anything for him? That she'd happily go against what her parents or Giles' wished, just so she could be with him?

"Buffy? Buffy, you're scaring me." Willow shook Buffy roughly. Buffy looked at Willow, her mini-catatonia breaking.

"Sorry Wills, I just..." She tried to bite back the sob, but failed.

"Oh... Buffy." Willow wrapped her arms around Buffy's small, shaking frame. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm so sorry."

The ringing of the bell, signaling the next class was about to start made the two girls part. Buffy wiped her face with the back of her hand. "It's... okay, Willow. I'll be okay."

"Going to class?"

Buffy made a face. "I wish I didn't have to. Think Xander'll say anything to me?"

"I dunno. He was really mad about the whole thing, but I haven't talked to him since Saturday... so maybe he's calmed down?"

"One can always hope."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy squirmed uncomfortably in her seat as she glanced up at the clock. There was still a half an hour to go of class and her back was beginning to burn from the intense heat of Xander's glare.

When she walked into the classroom, she'd given him a small wave, hoping maybe they'd be okay. But, he'd sneered and looked away. Cordelia had surprisingly smacked her boyfriend upside the head, whispering something angrily to him before shooting Buffy a sympathetic smile.

As Buffy was taking notes, she noticed Giles walk into the classroom. He cleared his throat to get the teacher's attention.

"Can I help you with something, Mr. Giles?"

"Er, yes, I need to speak to Buffy Summers."

The teacher nodded at Buffy to let her know it was okay to leave.

She quickly gathered her things, slightly relieved that she'd be away from Xander's glaring. Of course, the fact that she was probably going to get the lecture of a lifetime from Giles made any relief fade.

Neither of them said a word as they walked down the hallway leading to the library. He walked ahead of her and held the swinging doors open.

"I'm sorry to have taken you out of class, but I felt it was of the utmost importance that we talk now." He started as he slipped the "Closed" sign in front of the doors. "I called you several times, but your mother would not let me speak to you."

"I told her I didn't wanna talk to you." She sat down on the edge of a table, hands folded neatly in her lap as though she were some prim, proper and innocent little schoolgirl. "Giles, before you say anything else, there are some things I need to say. I'm sorry that I went behind your back for so long about my relationship with Spike. But I'm not sorry I was with him. Knowing what's happened, I'd do it all over again. You have no idea... none... how much I love him or how much he means to me.

Willow told me what you said to him at The Bronze. I haven't seen him since, so he's probably gone. Gone and left me and my heart is broken. I hope... I hope you're happy with that and I hope you can live with what you did to me.

I'm angry and hurt that you would do that. You didn't even bother to open your eyes to see that he changed so much for me... to be with me. I already told you he'd stopped feeding off people. And not only that but he had his minions patrol. That's why there's been such a lack of badness. Not 'cause of some pending Big Bad... but 'cause my boyfriend didn't want to see me hurt or dead."

"I had no idea." Giles sounded impressed.

"Of course you didn't. You only wanted Spike to be the villain he *used* to be. You didn't want him to be anything more than a monster. The world isn't black and white. I just learned that. There are so many different shades and colors, Giles. Spike was one of them."

"Buffy, regardless of whatever changes he may have undertaken, that doesn't change the fact that he is William the Bloody, killer of two slayers and countless innocents. And he is dead. What kind of life do you imagine leading with him? You would never be able to have children. You could never take a daylight stroll with him. If he had a soul, like Angel, perhaps the situation would be different. You chose against that. I am sorry you are hurt in any way, but I am relieved that he is gone."

Buffy stood up, clutching her books to her chest. "I better get back to class." She walked to the doors, pausing there, but not looking back at him. "Uh... I won't be training for a while... or patrolling. My mom's still wigged about the whole "Slayer thing". A couple of days of mother-daughter bonding are in order."

"You told her everything then?"

"Yeah, I did." Buffy bit her lip, pausing at the door. "If he were to come back, you know nothing you say would keep me from being with him, right?"

She heard him sigh heavily before he answered. "I know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy went back to class, but after a few minutes, the threat of tears caused her to rush out of the room. She could hear the teacher calling out after her, but she just kept going.

It was all so much. Willow's story of what happened after she left and the Xander glare-fest... and Giles delight at her broken heart; Buffy couldn't really take it anymore.

Once she was outside, she started running, afraid Snyder would catch her ditching. She froze when she noticed the DeSoto parked across the street. She stared at it like a dying man would his last hope for living.

She didn't take her eyes off it she slowly walked down the sidewalk and to the curb. She watched as it made a u-turn in the middle of the street to pull up in front of her. Her insides were doing all sorts of flips and flops as she opened the door and slid in, mindful to keep as much sunlight as possible from getting in.

Spike looked tired and smelled like he'd taken up some serious chain smoking. The DeSoto's floor was littered with cigarette butts and whiskey bottles. She'd never seen it in such bad shape. Spike usually kept his precious child as clean as possible.

As soon as her seat belt was secure, he peeled off. As the car sped down the streets, the screeching of other cars braking to get out of its way could be heard.

After driving this way for about twenty minutes, Spike pulled the car to a stop.

"I... I thought maybe you'd left."

"Is that what you want?" He crawled across the seat to her, trapping her body between the seat and a hard place.

"No. Of course not. I love you."

"Of course not. I love you." He all but sneered, vamping. "Is this the man you love? This demon inhabited corpse?"

"Spike, why are you acting like this?"

"I'm not acting, Luv. It's all me. Now answer my question."

"I do. I love all of you." She whispered. "The man and the demon. You know that."

"Yeah?" He rubbed his body against hers as he lowered his face to her neck.

"Spike..."

"You smell delicious..." His teeth grazed her neck. "So horribly afraid. You shouldn't fear the man you love." He placed several open mouthed kisses right over her jugular before slipping his fangs into the skin.

It wasn't new by any means. He'd left more than a dozen of his marks on her. But, she'd never felt the gut wrenching fear she was feeling. The only time she'd ever really been afraid of him was when they had been enemies.

Spike was actually feeding from her... ripping at her throat as he pulled greedily from her life source.

"S-s-s-stop. You're hurting me." She gasped, blood bubbling up in her mouth.

He laughed against her neck, retracting his teeth. He pulled away to look down at her. His face was a blur of red as she fought off a wave of dizziness. Her blood was smeared all around his mouth, dripping down his chin and onto her.

He grinned maliciously before moving back to her neck. "Is this the man that you love, Buffy?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy gasped, her hand flying to her neck. Her pulse was racing underneath her fingers.

"How kind of you to join us in the land of the living, Miss Summers." Her teacher said.

Taking a shaky breath, she looked around. She was still in her classroom. Xander looked almost concerned. The other students were snickering.

"Sorry."

"Try not to let it happen again, okay?"

"Yeah." Buffy glanced out the window, not sure whether she was hoping to see the DeSoto out there or not. Of course, it wasn't there. Rubbing her neck one last time, she tried to focus her attention on her class work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy wearily walked home after school had ended. She'd avoided Willow, who she was certain would try to get her to join her and Oz at the Bronze later on.

That dream had been the final straw.

Like being a Slayer... having died once added on top of being a teenager wasn't enough. No. She had to have the mother of all angsty romances. She should have just stayed with Angel... then she'd be drama free. But noooo... she had to go and fall in love with Spike.

"Hi Honey." Joyce said when she got home.

"Hi. I'll be in my room. Got oodles of homework to do." Her voice was emotionless. She knew that her mother would worry. But she hoped she wouldn't try to talk to her or anything. She needed some more time to wallow.

"Buffy."

She stopped on the first step of the stairs. "Yes, Mommy?"

"What happened today?"

"Nothing much. I did talk to Giles today. It wasn't pleasant, but I knew it wouldn't be."

"I'm sorry, Sweetie."

"It's okay." Buffy shrugged, forcing a smile. "Everything'll be back to normal now that Spike's gone."

"Gone?"

"I'm only guessing." Buffy looked down. "I should get started on my homework. If anyone calls, could you tell 'em I'm busy?" Buffy didn't wait for an answer, just went to her room and shut the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours bled into each other. The phone had rung dozens of times. Giles, Willow, Xander... maybe Angel. Buffy didn't really care who it was. She seemed to have a lot of trouble caring about anything.

The homework she'd said needed to be done was untouched. Her windows were open, letting the chilly night air in. She was shivering, but she just didn't have the energy or desire to get up and close it.

Her cell phone rang. She crawled across the floor to take it out of her backpack and turn it off. A couple of minutes later, the doorbell rang, followed by several loud knocks.

"There's someone here to see you." Joyce peaked into Buffy's room.

"I'm not really in the mood to see anyone, Mom." Buffy said, hugging her knees tighter to her.

Joyce knelt next to Buffy, who'd been sitting against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. "Buffy, this isn't good for you. I know your hurting, but you can't keep shutting out me and your friends."

"I know. I just... I just need time. I miss him so much, Mommy."

"I know." Joyce sighed, kissing her daughters hair. "I'm going to the gallery tonight... I have an important shipment coming in. I'll... be late. In fact... I might just stay there overnight. I'll leave money for pizza on the table, okay?"

"'Kay. Thank you."

Joyce left Buffy's room. Minutes later, Buffy heard her mother's car speed off.

Buffy had to admit it was strange that her mom had left like she did. The woman had been on worry overdrive since her birthday. She figured she wouldn't be pulling any all-nighters at the gallery for at least or a few days.

Buffy frowned when she heard her door creak open. "I didn't hear you drive up. Did you forget some... thing?"

She lifted her head a bit and saw all black. She wiped at her tears to get a better look. Black boots... black pants... on upwards to the sinfully tight black tee-shirt... then the pale skin of his neck.

Buffy wasn't sure whether to cry, laugh or jump up and down for joy when she saw Spike's gorgeous face. She knew in an instant that it was him. Really him. Not a dream or hallucination. She could feel it in her bones... in her gut.

"Spike."

He walked into the room, looking at everything but her. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yeah, it does. I didn't... Christ, Buffy, I never meant to cause you any harm. I know she'd hurt you... bit you... but I had to go to her. Not 'cause of anything but that I owed her." He sat down on her bed, finally looking at her. "She made me, Buffy. If not for her, I'd of never had you in my life."

"I understand. I know none of that was your fault. I mean, I can't really blame her for wanting you back. You are wicked hot. And I get the whole duty thing, too." A few tears slipped down her cheeks. "I kinda don't understand why you kept staying away though."

"Oh, Sweetheart, please, don't cry." He had scooped her up in a matter of seconds and was cradling her in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. So, so sorry." He peppered her face with kisses that soothed her soul. "I wasn't sure how welcome I'd be. Though you might be mad."

She slid her arms underneath his duster and wrapped them around his waist, clinging to him for dear life. "Willow told me what Giles said... I was afraid you'd leave. I thought I'd never see you again."

"What he said did get to me... and it's all true. You do deserve better than me. But, I'm a selfish prat. An' I love you too bloody much to let you go."

"Good." She sniffled, smiling a little. "Because I was getting tried of crying all the time."

"Oh, Luv, I don't think I can say sorry enough, can I?" He pressed his forehead to hers.

"Probably not, but I'd rather you just stop saying it all together. You're here... that's all that matters to me."

He nuzzled his face with hers before kissing her. "So much time wasted."

"It's only been two days." She said softly, returning his kiss.

"A bloody eternity." He began kissing his way down her jaw line and to her neck. Buffy tensed.

"Luv, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He arched an eyebrow. "I had this stupid nightmare... er... day-mare? Whatever it was... it was just stupid."

"I bit you?"

"You questioned my love for you. You were so mean. And you bit me and you were gonna kill me, I woke up before..."

Spike frowned. "You know I would never do that, don't you?"

"Yes. That's why I said it was stupid." She tightened her arms around him, grabbing the fabric of his shirt.

“C’mere.” He tilted her head up. “Give us a kiss.”

Buffy rearranged herself so she was straddling him. “Why should I?” She smiled coyly.

“Because I bloody well told you to, Woman.”

“Bossy, bossy.” She chided. “Maybe I don’t wanna kiss you.”

“Buffy…” He growled.

She giggled. “Sorry.” She placed her hands on either side of his face before pressing her lips against his.

She whimpered as he wrapped his arms around her, their bodies pressed tight against each others.

“Missed you.” She sighed when he pulled away to let her breathe.

“It’s only been two days.” He teased.

“You’re not going anywhere, right?”

“Prolly gonna find a new place… something smaller. Since Dru had all my minions killed.”

“All of them?”

“Yeah.”

“You gonna keep the same bed? I love that thing.”

Spike chuckled. “Anything for you, Luv.”

“Really? Because my mom said she’d be gone all night. I can think of a couple… or… say… a couple dozen things you could do for me.”

He laid her on her bed and helped her pull off her clothes. “We’d best not waste any of this precious time then, huh?”

“Nope. But, even after tonight, we’ll have…”

“We’ll have forever, Pet.” He quickly shed his clothes, watching her intently as she laid spread out before him on her bed.

“Promise?” She opened her arms to him.

He joined her on the small bed, holding her close and kissing her gently. “Promise, Luv.”

**Okay, this isn’t really the end. I have an epilogue half done. I’mma try and get it done before Spring Break is over.





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