Chapter 2
Buffy wrapped her arms around her waist as she walked back toward the woods.
Okay - you know what - no thinking right now - brain switched to off - in fact, complete erase memory - the last day didn’t happen - the last half hour truly didn’t happen - no Spike thoughts - no sex thoughts - no sexy Spike sex thoughts - sexy? - where did that come from? - no sexy Spike! - yucky Spike - yucky Spike with soft lips and amazing tongue - Arghh!!
She clamped her hands to her head.
Evil vampire! - Evil evil - Evil murderous harmless sexy vampire…damn.
When she finally got to the cave, she remembered that she needed Spike to help her move the boulder.
“Xander! Anya! You guys okay?’ she called through a crack.
“Yeah! Still alive!” Xander shouted back. “Haven’t heard anything in a while. Back to normalsville out there?”
“Seems that way. Have you guys out of there in just a second.” Buffy put as much Slayer-strength into it as possible and managed to move the boulder a couple of feet. “That should be enough - come on.”
Anya poked her head out of the crack first and looked around. She squeezed through the opening followed closely by Xander. Buffy let out a little laugh as she started walking behind them back to town.
“What?” Xander asked turning around.
“It must have been pretty dark in there.” Buffy grinned.
“Well, yeah. Why?”
“Both of your shirts are on backwards.”
Xander blushed instantly and started stammering, “Oh, well, yeah, th-th-that’s because, well, it’s cause, we were j-j-just, you know-”
“We had sex,” Anya said for him.
“Yeah,” Buffy laughed. “Good thing your life and death situation doesn’t get in the way of your sex life.” She trotted ahead of them and let them readjust their clothes.
~~~~
By the time she got to her dorm, Buffy’s thoughts had drifted back to Spike. She hadn’t said much while walking Xander and Anya back to his basement, and she was pretty sure that Xander had noticed. Thankfully, he didn’t ask any questions, but she knew that wouldn’t last long, and the next time she saw him he would be harassing her about exactly how far it went with her and Spike. They were, after all, in love and engaged. Xander had dozens of questions behind his eyes.
Now that she was by herself again, though, she mostly kept thinking about how Spike had called out to her as she was walking out. ‘Buffy‘, he had said. She honestly couldn’t remember if he had ever said her real name before. Kinda made her mad. How dare a vampire use her name. In the demon world, she was the Slayer. Being the Slayer, she was able to separate her work from her life. Sex with Spike had blurred that line, and she knew that she had to find a way to make it solid again.
Willow engulfed her in a huge hug when she walked into their room.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m so so sorry!”
“Will, Will, it’s ok,” Buffy pealed Willow off of her and tried to give her a reassuring smile.
“It’s so not okay! It must have been awful, you must have felt so disgusted.”
Buffy started getting ready for bed. “No, not really,” she said quietly.
“What?”
“I mean - not at the time. Think about it, being engaged. It has nice. I was kinda, you know, happy.”
“But, after…?”
“Oh, yeah! After. That was, like, blah!”
“What can I do for you? I have to make it up, if that’s even possible. I’m already detailing Giles’ car and Xander called and demanded I cook sweet things for him for the next month. I’ll do anything, Buffy, really.”
“You know, Will, I really just want to go to bed, right now. Put this whole thing behind me.”
“Oh, okay. Sure. Of course you do. No more talky.”
Buffy got into bed and pulled the blanket tight around her neck. “Good night, Will.”
“Good night, Buff.”
~~~~
The next day, Buffy faked her way through her classes. Her previous night’s sleep had fortunately been dreamless, but the memories of her faux engagement and the… consequences… kept resurfacing during her lectures.
She remembered her body tingling the first time her kissed her. That sweet look he gave her when she told him what music she wanted at the reception. Mostly, though, she thought of the way his hands never stopped touching her. He was always rubbing his fingers or his palm over some part of her body - her waist, her leg, her cheek, her own hand. The majority of these thoughts she could brush away, though. They somehow made her happy, but she could push them down and tell herself that it was all just because of the spell.
But the memories that she couldn’t suppress were the ones about the sex. Okay, the first part, Spike going down on her - spell. Good happy spell (there was just no denying that, no matter how many ways she looked at it), but still - spell. But the next part, after the spell was broken…why? Why hadn’t she wanted it to stop? She could have stopped it at any time. In fact, Spike was the first one to pull away. But she kept him there. And told him more. And told him harder. And he complied. He did everything she told him to. And she bit him! What was that about?
It was just such wonderful control. Beautiful power. Power? Yeah, that’s what it was. Power. She had a completely helpless man (monster) in her grasp and she wanted to control him. To make him obey her. To bend his will.
She had power as the Slayer. But it’s a power that comes from fear and muscle. The power she had last night was about…what? Fear? She wasn’t afraid of anything. Surely Spike wasn’t afraid of her. Muscle? Well, yeah, muscles were involved (in fact, new and exciting muscles she didn’t even know she had). But those were used for pleasure, not pain. So what was the power she was feeling last night, and why did it make her feel so good? And make her want more…?
~~~~
The whole bloody gang was over for another Scooby meeting that night. Spike sat in a corner chair and tried to stay out of the way - mostly nobody really paid attention to him anyway, so it really wasn’t that hard. The main topics of conversation seemed to be finding out more about the soldier boys that kidnapped him and the witch’s guilt about the previous day’s spell. Red was in the kitchen all evening baking cookies (of which she only gave Spike one, and the boy must have had a whole batch).
When the Slayer came in she walked right up to Spike and handed him the ring he had given her yesterday.
“Thanks,” Spike said taking the ring from her and putting it back on his own hand. Buffy nodded and went into the kitchen to help Willow.
The rest of the evening, he watched her when he figured nobody was looking at him. Not once, though, the whole damn night, did she look at him. Not even when she was telling the Scoobies about his ability to fight demons the night before.
Don’t know what I was expecting, really, Spike thought. She stirs something up in me. Always has. That first night at the Bronze. I’d never seen a slayer before that was so…happy. So carefree. Yet she was able to get the job done. Killed my bait vamp with no trouble. There’s a reason why I can’t kill her - besides this soddin chip. What is it, though? What is it about this Slayer that makes her so different. So passionate. So sexy. So damn…powerful?
As time wore on, the group started leaving. Eventually, only Buffy remained behind with her Watcher. They didn’t seem to be talking about anything special and soon the Brit let out a big yawn that caused the Slayer to apologize and gather her things to go. Giles said goodbye to her while her was straightening up the snack dishes and didn’t see her pause in the doorway and turn to look at Spike. She stared at him for a few moments, but Spike couldn’t read anything in her eyes. He just stared back. God, I want her, spilled through his mind and he left it there. Let it sit at the front of his brain. He swam in it. Drown in it. I want her.
Then she turned and walked out.
~~~~
The Watcher had stopped tying him up at night, so Spike lay awake on the couch. He wasn’t tired, of course, but he was bored. He kept playing little slayer-sex scenarios over in his head. He imagined fucking her in her dorm room, in the Watcher’s bed again, in the cave he shared with Harmony, in the factory basement, against a large angel statue in one of the cemeteries (that was his favorite scenario). Suddenly, she was standing right next to him, and he started a new fantasy involving fucking her on the couch. Then he snapped out if it. She was standing right next to him. Didn’t hear her come in…
“Slayer,” Spike leaned up on his elbows.
“Sh,” she said quickly and grabbed his hand, pulling him up off the couch.
The Slayer had a tight grip on his hand as she led him through the dark streets.
“Where’re we going, luv?”
“I know a place,” she responded quietly.
Spike quickened his pace for a few steps until he was walking beside her. Matching her stride, it felt for a little while that they were a couple, walking down the street holding hands. Then Buffy looked down at their intertwined fingers and let go. Spike continued to walk next to her as she entered Restfield Cemetery.
This was his favorite graveyard in all of Sunnydale. It was the biggest and oldest and it had plenty of trees and crypts that made great hiding places. It must be the Slayer’s least favorite. Come to think of it, she probably doesn’t have a favorite cemetery.
Spike followed the Slayer as she wound her way around the statues and tombstones until she came to a large crypt near the northwest corner wall. It looked like most of the others except it was much more worn and had no markings or names. She stopped in front of the door and stood for a moment before bringing her leg up high and kicking it hard with the flat of her foot. A low echoing boom emanated from inside the crypt, but the door didn’t budge. She hit it several more times before stopping to catch her breath.
Spike took a step forward and put a hand on her lower back. “Let me try, pet.”
“No,” she said brushing his hand away.
He stepped back again and watched her take in a few deep breaths. She brought her leg up again and made a loud deep scream/grunt as she put all her force against the kick. It was one of the sexiest things he’d seen her do and he was hard instantly. The door banged open with a tremendous clang, and they felt a heavy sigh of air emerge from the dark space in front on them.
Buffy stood for several more moments as the dust settled. Then she turned quickly toward Spike, grabbed him by his shoulders, and tossed him into the darkness like a rag doll.
He slid across the floor and came to a stop against one of the two large pillars at the back of the room. He lay still as he watched her come into the crypt and close the door. Before his eyes adjusted to the black, she was right in front of him, pulling him up by his t-shirt and pinning him against the pillar.
Her mouth was instantly on his ear, sucking and licking. He wrapped his fingers up in her hair and pulled her lips toward his. Buffy held still before their lips could touch.
“No kissing,” she said firmly.
“What? Yes, kissing,” Spike said back just as firmly. “I like the way you taste.”
Buffy looked at him squarely in the eye and held his gaze. “I’m only going to say this once. If we do this, we do it my way. Only my way. Understand?”
“And your way doesn’t involve kissing?” Spike grinned. “Bollocks.” He pulled her in to kiss again.
Buffy pushed herself away from him and punched him hard in the jaw.
“Argh! Bloody hell! What’d you do that for?”
“I said I wasn’t going to say it twice.”
Spike took his hand off his jaw and the two stared each other down for a minute. Finally, Spike broke the silence.
“Your way.”
Buffy let a little smirk escape her lips then resumed working on his ear. She grind her body into his and he sensed her arousal. It gave him a small sense of satisfaction knowing that he could make her feel that way. After all, it was him doing it this time, not some spell. But, then again…was he really doing anything? He was standing there with a hard-on, touching her neck and back, but she was the one tonguing his ear and neck, pressing into him, and - hello! What’s this?
The Slayer had moved her hands down to his jeans and was managing to unbuckle his belt and pull his zipper down. She then dropped to her knees and pulled his pants down to his ankles. Spike was so stunned by the move, that his brain emptied of thought and he stared down at her in disbelief. Without so much as a glance back up at him, she opened her mouth and took him into her as far as she could. Spike tangled his fingers into her hair again and threw his head back in a loud moan. As her lips and tongue started to play with him, his brain remained drained, and he was able to let William come to the surface again. He felt like a boy. A boy who had finally started courting the girl of his dreams. Everything was going to be fine. He had a life ahead of him that was happy and successful and full of joy. It was all going to turn out alright as long as he kept this girl close to him. Never let her go. William felt his climax coming on as his girl worked faster.
Suddenly she stopped and Spike came screaming back to the surface, burying William somewhere so deep that he forgot for a while that he existed. The Slayer was then climbing onto him, having disposed of her jeans and panties at some point. Without so much as a tease, she dropped herself onto him so hard and fast that it caused them both to scream out in pleasurable pain.
Spike let her pump onto him a couple times, then flipped her around and pinned her against the pillar. While thrusting into her, he put his lips on her neck and felt the warmth of the blood pulsating through her veins. The beautiful pounding of her life-force caused him to vamp out and he licked her neck through his fangs.
From what seemed like far away, Spike heard the Slayer say, “Do you want to bite me, vampire?”
At that moment, they both reached their peak and Spike opened his mouth wider to plunge his teeth into her vein. Before he broke skin, though, she grabbed his head hard and pulled it back from her. She instantly tore into his neck with her own dull teeth and bit hard and violently enough to draw blood. His body started shaking all over, and she licked the blood away from the wound she had inflicted.
Soon, Buffy squirmed her way down from him and started gathering her discarded clothes. Spike pulled back his demon. He slowly turned around, pulled his jeans back up, and leaned his back against the pillar watching her. William resurfaced and brought that bloody feeling of fear back with him. Spike tried to suppress it, but instead only managed to replace the fear with sadness.
“So this is your way?” Spike growled at the Slayer. “You’ll seek me out whenever you’re feeling a bit randy, and I’m supposed to just take whatever you want to give me. Does it matter what I want?”
Buffy finished getting dressed and faced him. “I don’t know, Spike. I don’t know if I’ll even be back. What do you want from me anyway?”
Spike tried desperately to find an answer to that question. He knew he had an answer somewhere, but perhaps only William could find the words to express it. William was better at words than Spike. It suddenly occurred to him that Buffy had never met William. Then the words came.
“I want you to know me. Yes, evil vampire, sure. I am that. I’ve killed thousands of people, and if it weren’t for this chip in my brain, that’s what I would be doing today. But I do have this chip and one other new thing in my life. You. You’ve touched something in me that had been hidden for a long time. And it didn’t just start last night. I think that from the first night I saw you, you slipped under my skin. You affected everything I did, every decision I made. Why do think I started fucking Harmony? Because she knew you in high school. I know you two weren’t friends, but you had touched her life in some way, and at the time, that was the closest I could get to you. Even Dru knew that you had a piece of me. It’s why she left.” Spike walked over to Buffy and gently grasped her shoulders.
“There is a man in me somewhere, Buffy. A man who is capable of loving you in every way that you should be loved. I just need you to help me find him. And when we do, I know that you can love him back. Help me, Buffy. Please.”
Buffy let out a loud sigh and took a step back from him, causing his arms to fall back down to his sides.
“That’s very sweet, Spike. And I’m guessing that a lot of it is true. It’s a wonderful little journey we could take together. Come out skipping and smelling like roses at the end. But that’s not the way the world works. I have a woman in me, Spike. But you know what that woman sees when she looks at you? A vampire. You know what the Slayer in me sees when she looks at you? A vampire. This thing we did - it’s wrong. Every part of me says it’s wrong. But this wrongness that I feel - maybe that‘s okay. When I’m with you, the badness turns into goodness, somehow. But it’s just temporary. So I don’t know if I’ll be back. And whether or not you’re here if I do come back, well…that’s your call.”
Spike watched as she turned her back on him and walked out the door. Again. He wondered how many times he could live this scene before it breaks him. He wondered if he even wanted to find out.
~~~~
The next night during the Scooby meeting, Spike moved out of the Watcher’s apartment. Giles told the Scoobies that he was confident they had gotten all they could out of him about the mystery soldiers, and Spike was feeling a little safer on the streets now that he knew he could fight demons. Nobody asked him where he was going. Buffy didn’t even look at him. As he was walking out the door, he heard the little witch call out behind him.
“Bye, Spike.”
He turned around and gave her a little smile. “Watch those spells, Red.”
“You bet!”
Spike strolled through the streets weighing his options. He was carrying a small bag with a couple of t-shirts and a few packets of pig’s blood. He had wandered the world for the last 120 years and was amazed that he had managed to accumulate absolutely nothing. So what’s the next step?
He walked down the middle of Main Street, keeping on eye on the shadows for any soldiers that may be lurking to take him back underground. Okay, he could get the hell out of Sunnydale. Very good plan. Safe. But go where? He realized that he was completely alone. He couldn’t go find Drusilla. She would never want him back anyway. And Harmony? Even if she took him back into her bed, he would be comparing her to Buffy the whole time. And that was really no comparison….
Buffy. He thought of how she felt against his body. He soft skin and her thick hair wrapped in his fingers.
Spike stopped and looked up. He noticed he had walked himself to the entrance of Restfield Cemetery. He started toward the northwest corner.
To be continued...
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