A/N : I really can't explain to ya'll what has happened lately...got out of a bad relationship, school, work, home problems....everything. Well, I am so deeply sorry for not updating when i promised i would. all of you, dont know how sorry i am. whenever i had free time, i would try to type something...anything and nothing was coming out. finally, a couple nights ago some stuff came to me, not easy thought lol so...i really hope you guys enjoy this one. i believe its my longest chapter yet, so im really excited about that. thank you so much to secretguest, Con, lllllllllllllll, Sarah g, brandi, jo, Dana, rosie, Kasmira, Kimber, SarahandJamesFanatic, irene, and Molliefor leaving me reviews..i know you all must hate me for taking so long, but i will try so much harder. i do have the next chapter started, but its taking some time. i want to make them all alot longer... enjoy this chapter yall...this is for everyone that keeps reading my story...thank you.





“I love you Spike…” she whispers.

Spike feels his eyes bulge out of his head at her confession and a feeling of dread runs through his body.

Bollocks.

“I love you Spike…But not the way you love me…” Faith whispers.

Spike raises his head in confusion and looks down at her. “What?” he whispers.

Faith lets out a sigh and brings her hand up to caress his face. She leans in to kiss him on the cheek. She pulls back and lets out a sigh.

“I love you like I would love anyone else…you’ve been there for me a lot lately and I can not express enough how much that has meant to me…but I don’t love you like you love me. I have tried, it’s just…”she stops and slowly lets go of him, scooting back slowly.

“ I’ve met someone…that night, when mom died…I went out and met a lot of people. Both you and Buffy know that. But that night, when I least expected it, I met someone…more than just a one-night stand. At first, I didn’t think anything of it and he just kept calling me and asking to see me…every time he asked, I went. I needed…anything really. I was so hurt and…so I saw him, every day, and I fell for him Spike…I really did. I’ve tried to act like I loved you and that all I wanted was you. That’s why I said yes to you when you asked me out again. I wanted to want you and love you. I wanted to love you the way you loved me…but I couldn’t…no matter what I tried…I am so sorry for leading you on the way I have. I hope you can forgive me. I may not want to date you anymore…but I still want you in my life and in Bufy’s. She seems to have really take a liking to you Spike so, I don’t want to take you from her…enough people have left her.” Faith lets out a huge sigh and eagerly waits for his reaction.

Spike sits there…STUNNED.

Bloody hell…she thought I loved her! You have got to be kidding me! I never said I loved her…there was that one time, but that was a different story! I was in the heat of the moment…there is no way she is still thinking of that…is there? Oh for Christ’s sake Spike, say something to the chit!

He lets out a sigh and lays his hand on her cheek

“I understand Faith…and I am not hurt in anyway. But…I need to know if I can still see you both…Buffy and you. I won’t be able to sleep at night if I don’t know if you both are alright.”

Faith lets out a little grin and grabs his hand off her cheek to hold it on her lap.

He really does love me…poor guy. Oh well…

“Of course Spike…I wouldn’t stop seeing you just because we aren’t dating anymore. And you can still see Buffy. I won’t stop you from seeing her. I’m just…I’m so glad you understand why I did it…if you want,” she murmurs, while looking down at her hands. “You can still even live here. I don’t mind at all. I mean, you can go back to your place every now and then to get away from us girls, but if you still want to stay to see how we are every now and then as well…I wouldn’t mind…I’m sorry about all of this.”

Spike lets out an internal grin and thanks the lord for doing this for him.

Just relax Spike…act upset and let her go.

He lets out a sigh and lays his head down in his hands.

“It’s fine,” he mumbles, slowly rubbing his head, as if he had a headache. “ It’s fine Faith…really. And I will be here…I promise you and Buffy…I’m here till both of you have had enough of me.”

She lets out a little chuckle and rubs her hand down Spike’s back for comfort. “Ok…You are more than welcome to stay here with us…I know that it would be fine with me and probably for Buffy..”

Spike raises his head up to look at her, with his “sad” puppy dog eyes.

I can have Buffy now…We can be together…finally. I just have to win her back.

Spike lets out a grin and moves to hug Faith on the side. He gives her a kiss on her cheek and moves to stand up.

“Thank you for telling me Faith…I wish you would have told me sooner though.” he whispers, trying his hardest to act upset.

“I know,” Faith starts, letting out a tiny sigh. “It’s just that I felt so bad for not telling you in the first place and for still seeing him when we got back together…I’m sorry Spike…”

“Don’t worry about it Faith. As long as you’re ‘appy, then I am as well. But I am going to let you get some sleep, and see if Buffy is still awake.” He moves towards the door. “I wanna finish what we were watching…you sure there is nothing else ya wanna tell me?” He looks back at her.

“Nope…” she shakes her head. “That was it…I will talk to you tomorrow morning then?”

Spike nods. “Right then…night Faith.” He opens the door and quickly walks out.

Faith lets out a huge sigh and lies back on the bed.

“I hope I didn’t hurt him too much…” she mumbles, and quickly falls asleep.


DOWNSTAIRS

Spike walks slowly back down the stairs, running everything that just happened through his head. He gets so distracted by his thoughts, that he doesn’t even notice when he enters the living room, or when Buffy calls his name.

“Spike…Spike!” Buffy yells. She walks over to him and claps her hands in front of his face.

Spike looks up and lets out a shy grin.

“Sorry about that luv, was just thinking is all.” He heads towards the couch and plops down, padding a spot right next to him.

“Come sit, we have much to talk about…you are not gonna believe what I just talked to you sis about…” he lets out a soft laugh and lays his head back on the couch.

Buffy walks slowly to the couch and sits down, instead of right next to him, on the arm of the couch. She lets out a little cough.

“So. What happened then?” she mumbles while looking down at her feet.

“Well,” Spike starts, but stops when he notices her nowhere near him. He leans towards her and tugs her down near him, practically on him. Buffy lets out a little “eep” and falls against him.

“Well” he starts again, once she is sitting comfortably next to him, “I went up there to say goodnight yea? Well, I walk in and she tells me that it is over between her and me. That she met someone else that night when you mum...passed. She met him, and fell for him. She’s been seeing him ever since.” Spike decides to leave out the little part where Faith told him that he loved her…that would just be awkward.

“Aha…hahaha…are you kidding me?” Buffy lets out a huge bark of laughter and rolls her head onto his shoulder, laughing hard.

Spike looks down quizzically at her and raises his eyebrows at her.

“Something funny luv?” he asks, while softly nudging her in the arm.

Buffy sniffs, and wipes the tears from her eyes.

“It’s just…ha…umm. It’s just that” she lets out a chuckle. “Who in their right mind would cheat on you?!” She lets out another laugh and more tears fall down her eyes.

She looks up at Spike, expecting to see him laughing as well, but just looks up to see his curious eyes looking down at her.

“I’m not quite sure where you’re getting at luv.”

“It’s just…I mean look at you. You’re gorg…nice looking. And she’s well…” she moves her mouth closer to his ear. “She’s damaged goods. She has practically been with tons of guys, and you were willing enough to touch her. And then she has the nerve to cheat on you! It’s hilarious really. Well to me at least.”

She pulls back to look at him, to see if he got it, and still sees him looking confused.

“Spike.” She scoots closer to him. “It’s funny that she cheated on you because…she didn’t know what she had…I’m not trying to console you or anything, cause obviously you are not hurt, it’s just that…well it takes someone completely retarded to let a guy like you go…none the less cheat on them… did that make any sense to you.” she asks.

Spike lets out a small grin, which happens to get bigger and bigger, till it is a full on smile.

“What?” she asks quietly.

Spike lets out a soft laugh, “Not to rain on your parade luv…but you are one of those girls yea? You turned me down not but a few nights ago. Remember? With the whole “we cant be together”… yea luv, that was YOU, not Faith that time.” He chuckles while softly rubbing her thigh.

“Oh yea” her face turns bright red as she looks down. “Our reason is different Spike and you know that…I had to do it.”

Looking up at her, Spike raises his hand to tilt her chin up towards him. He slowly leans forward and places a soft kiss on her cheek.

“I know luv” he whispers. “I completely agree with you…with is exactly why I’m staying in this house even though Faith ended it…I want to be…oh bollocks.” Spike lets out a groan and suddenly gets up from the couch and starts pacing in front of her.

“Buffy, Luv…I want to be with you…”he starts.

Buffy looks up at that and starts potesting. “Spike you know we…”

Spike holds up his hand to quiet her, and she stops immediately.
He walks towards her and bends down. He reaches out a hand and places it in hers.

“I know luv. I know what you’re thinking and feeling. But, damn it Buffy, I can’t be like you. I can’t just sit back and watch you and not have that feeling. That feeling that makes me want to touch you, kiss you till you can’t bloody breath…I want to be near you all the time sweetheart.” He looks up towards the stairs, making sure Faith was not there listening.

“That’s why I went back with Faith,” he starts again softer. “I needed to be near you. To
see you and know that you were ok. I needed to see you Buffy. I couldn’t go through a day without even hearing your voice. I need you to know that…that I didn’t sleep with her Buffy. I haven’t slept with anyone since…” he trails off silently and looks down.

Buffy’s eyes widen in surprise as her mouth open and close like a fish out of water.

“wha…how is that possible?”

“Ha…it’s easy Goldilocks. You got me hooked on you. Even the thought of another women makes me…uneasy to say the least. When I was with Faith…well pretending to be, it was hard. But I wanted to do it…for you. I knew that dating Faith again, meant that I could be here…most of the time. I would be able to watch over you and take of you when you needed someone. Even if it meant we never dated, I just wanted to know that you were ok. That’s all I care about right now. Is making sure that you are well off…you and Faith.”

Letting out a soft smile Buffy reaches out with her hand to caress his face then leans forward to kiss him softly on the forehead.

“Spike” she starts softly, while looking at him in the eye. “That… is the most load of crap I have ever heard.” She lets out a laugh and falls back on the couch.

Spike stands up immediately, surprised. He looks down at a laughing Buffy.

“Wha? You don’t believe me?”

Buffy sits up, once again wiping the tears away from her eyes.

“Oh come on Spike. I may be extremely young, but I’m not dumb. Do you honestly expect me to believe that you didn’t have sex with Faith…Faith! She’s…well she’s her. She sleeps with everyone, and you…well you’re you.”

Spike walks a few inches forward and grabs her head in both of his hands. He moves his head forward and places a harsh kiss on her lips. He doesn’t use tongue or moves his head, he just keeps his lips on hers. When he pulls back, he sees the shocked and angry expression on her face.

“I will make you believe me Buffy…I can promise you that. I did not sleep with her. I did go back out with her, for you. I will prove it you Buffy.”

She lets out another laugh and pushes him back off of her. She looks down at him and scoffs at him.

“Yea…and hell will freeze over and Faith might even keep her legs closed for more than three days…riiiiight.” She shakes her head as she starts upstairs.

Spike looks at her as she walks away and makes a promise to himself.

“I will make you love me Buffy… and you will believe me.”

Just as Spike says this, a very distraught Buffy falls on her bed, very confused.

“Oh Spike…what are you doing to me.”



A/N thank you all for reading and please leave a review. i need ideas, thoughts, comments. i really want to know if anyone is still reading this one lol you guys are more than welcome to leave me an email and help me out in any way possible :D:D thank you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!





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