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Chapter 7

They got home late that night. Xander and Anya headed back to their apartments and Willow headed up to bed. The girls were about to head up also, when Spike stopped Alyssa saying he needed to talk to her. Buffy and Dawn wondered about that, but they just nodded and headed up to their rooms. Spike led Alyssa down to the basement, where they were sure no one could hear them. “What’s up?” Alyssa wondered when they were down there.

“Are they always like that?” He asked and Alyssa knew who he was talking about.

“Pretty much, but thanks to you they might leave me alone now. I can hope anyway.” Spike nodded and thought about what else he wanted to say to her.

“I noticed something before we left for the Bronze and I just wanted to talk to you about it. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I saw the way you were looking at Dawn. Are you interested in her?” Alyssa blushed a little and looked away before she looked back at him.

“I don’t know, she’s really cool and she was the first real person to ever be nice to me. I mean I’ve had crushes before, but it’s different with Dawn. I really like her and it has me feeling kinda nervous sometimes. I know it’s stupid and the last thing I need is for people to find another reason to think I’m a freak.” Spike shook his head.

“You’re not a freak. Dawn is a very pretty girl and she is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet. Liking her would be understandable. Have you always felt that way? I mean, have you always been attracted to other girls?” Alyssa shrugged.

“I’ve noticed attractive guys before, but I always felt that I liked girls better. I’ve always been scared to talk to anyone about that, afraid of how they would look at me. I get that enough as it is. Why are you being so cool about this?” She wondered.

“Well, I know what it’s like to be different for one. I’ve also had experiences with other males. It’s not something I like to talk about a lot, but I’ve been there. Right now it’s all about the women, well one in particular.” He said with a smile and then continued. “You should feel okay about it, Alyssa. There’s nothing wrong with it. Infact, Willow happens to be a lesbian.” Alyssa seemed surprised by that.

“Really? I never would have guessed.” Spike nodded.

“She realized it a few years ago and was afraid of how everyone would react, but it worked out for the best. I think she has become a better person because of it. What I’m trying to say is that it’s who you are. It’s what makes you special, among other things. You shouldn’t try to hide what you feel. I’m not sure how Dawn would react, but you should talk to her. You should never hide who you are.” Alyssa thought about what he said and nodded. She was scared to tell anyone because she didn’t want them to act weird around her, but she realized she had a lot more in common with these people than she thought. It was who she was and she had to accept it. If she didn’t, then there was no way anyone else could. She was just glad that her father never found out, he probably would have been more horrible toward her if he knew. Alyssa then walked over to Spike and gave him a hug, which he returned. She pulled away and looked at him.

“Thanks, it seems that you’re always trying to save me.” Spike smiled at her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He was really becoming quite fond of the girl.

“It’s what I do. Now get to bed.” He told her with a wink and she smiled and headed out of the basement and up the stairs to the bedroom that she shared with Dawn. She opened the door to find Dawn already asleep. She tried to be quiet, so she wouldn’t wake her and then lay down also. She looked at Dawn sleeping next to her and again thought about how very beautiful she was. Alyssa then closed her eyes and it didn't take her long to fall asleep.


* * * * *


“Okay, what’s wrong?” Dawn asked Alyssa the next day when they were sitting in her room.

“What do you mean?” Alyssa wondered and Dawn rolled her eyes.

“You have been really quiet today. I wanna know what’s up?” Alyssa shrugged and looked away from her.

“It’s nothing.” Dawn wasn’t buying it.

“Does it have anything to do with Spike? You seemed weird after you guys had your talk last night. I also watched you pretty close when you were dancing with him. You have the hots for him, don’t you?” Alyssa looked back at her a little surprised at her suggestion.

“What? I don’t have the hots for Spike. I’m...I’m interested in someone else.” She said finally admitting it. She didn’t want Dawn to think that she was into Spike. Dawn raised her eyebrows at that.

“That’s cool, how come you didn’t tell me?” Alyssa shrugged.

“It was complicated.” She explained.

“What’s so complicated? Do I know him?” Alyssa shook her head and figured it was about time she told the truth.

“It’s not a him.” She said and Dawn had a confused expression on her face.

“I don’t get...oh.” She said finally realizing it. “Oh, well that’s also cool. You know Willow’s a lesbian, right?” Alyssa nodded. “Right, so it’s not a big deal. It’s not Karen, is it?” Alyssa was disgusted at that suggestion.

“Gross, like I could ever be interested in Karen. She’s always made my life a living hell.” Dawn sighed in relief.

“Good, well not the living hell part. The part where you’re not interested in Karen. I was a bit worried for a second there. I just haven’t seen you around any one else lately that wasn’t in this house.” Dawn thought about it. “Is it someone in this house?” Alyssa blushed a little and Dawn caught it. “Oh my god, it is? I so knew it. Wait, that doesn’t leave a lot of choices.” Alyssa kept quiet while she watched Dawn. A thought seemed to form in Dawn’s head as her eyes grew big again and Alyssa wondered if she finally figured it out. “It’s Buffy, isn’t it? Everyone seems to be interested in Buffy.” Alyssa let the breath out that she was holding and shook her head.

“I’ll admit that Buffy is very attractive, but she’s a little too old. Not that she’s old or anything, just that she’s a little too old for me. Let’s not forget that she’s having a baby with Spike. I’m not a home wrecker or anything.” She stopped when she saw the look on Dawn’s face. “I’ll just be shutting up now.” Dawn smiled at her.

“You’re weird, you know that? You remind me so much of myself sometimes. I always make a habit of saying the wrong things. Well, not as much as Anya.” Alyssa smiled also and decided to take a risk. Dawn was still talking, when Alyssa then moved closer to her and without even thinking about it, she kissed Dawn on the lips. Dawn was taken by surprise when Alyssa then pulled away, feeling nervous again. Dawn was just staring at her for a few seconds before she finally spoke. “Okay, I think that narrows it down.” She said and Alyssa looked away from her.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” She said as she stood up and stepped away from Dawn. “I wasn’t thinking and the last thing I want is to freak you out. You’re the first real friend I’ve ever had and I don’t want to do anything to ruin that.” Dawn stood up also and walked closer to her.

“Hey, it’s fine. Things happen, I’m not gonna stop being your friend because of it. I’m not freaked, just a little surprised I guess. I didn’t really know you were talking about me. I’m glad you finally told me though. I mean if I went that way, I would totally be into you. I just don’t though, I’m sorry. I hope you won’t start to hate me.” Alyssa shook her head and was just grateful that she wanted to still be friends with her.

“I don’t hate you. That’s pretty much what I thought would happen anyway. I’m okay with it. We’re still friends?” Dawn smiled and hugged her.

“You better believe it.” Alyssa smiled also as she hugged her back. Buffy and Spike were standing by the door, which was open a crack as they watched the two girls.

“Wow, I didn’t see this coming.” Buffy said and Spike smiled at her.

“You were always a little slow, pet.” Buffy slapped him playfully on the arm as they both moved away from the door and headed to their room.





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