Chapter 3: truths
“Ok… Go ahead I will tell you whatever you want to know about where I was…”
Taking off his glasses, Giles went and sat down next to her at the table. Xander, Willow, Anya and Tara all put down the books they had been using to research and turned to look at Buffy. It wasn’t that they wanted to hear about the terrible things Buffy had gone through—this was their friend after all—they were just slightly interested in where they had saved her from.
“Thank you Buffy, I realise that this must be very hard for you, but anything you could remember would really help. We know that you were taken to wherever you were on the 22nd of May, and Willow brought you back on the 2nd of October,” Giles spoke of Willow’s spells with such disdain, it was clear he thought that something could still be very wrong after the spell.
“So, we are currently cross referencing which dimensions had portals open around those dates, but we are coming up with hundreds, we need to lower that if we have any chance of helping you. You understand don’t you, Buffy?”
Buffy simply nodded.
“Well, as time travels differently in different dimensions, I guess it would help us reduce the number of possible dimensions if we knew how long you were where you were.”
“Umm longer than I was away here. I don’t know the exact time; time had no measurement, if you know what I mean. If felt like about 3 years. I’m sorry I can’t be more help Giles, I don’t know exactly.”
“Don’t be sorry, that helps. Willow I will need you to cross-reference dimensions that move at a 1 to 7 ratio to our time scale. Now Buffy I am sorry but I have to ask, do you remember anything being done to you?”
Once again Buffy just simply shook her head.
It was Anya that now spoke up. “Well that doesn’t mean anything. When I was a vengeance demon I saw a lot of death and destruction, and would see the people blocking it out of their memory, pretending nothing had happened.” She said it with such clarity, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I actually caused a lot of the trauma… this one time I made this man…”
“Ahn!” Xander cut her off before she could go into one of her speeches about the many men she had maimed and tortured.
Giles carried on before anyone else could interrupt, “Buffy do you remember being in any pain while you there?”
“There wasn’t any pain Giles.” Taking a deep breath, Buffy looked her watcher directly in the eye, “I wasn’t in pain. I was happy.”
Silence followed Buffy’s announcement.
“Wow, we really did screw up.” Everyone looked at Anya. “What? I am just saying what everyone’s thinking right? Right Xander?” Anya looked at Xander making him squirm.
“Anya would you please just be quiet for a second.” Once again Giles took off his glasses to clean them. “Buffy what are you actually saying?”
“You mean an experienced watcher like yourself can’t work it out. I was in heaven Giles. At least that’s where I think I was. I don’t know exactly. What I do know is I was happy and at peace and I knew you were all safe. But then I was taken away from all that, Giles. Now I’m not there anymore. Now I know what pain is,” Buffy bowed her head and stared at the table.
Tears formed in Willows eyes as the words Buffy had said sunk in. She had torn her best friend away from paradise, without a second thought for what she might be doing. Without thinking about Buffy.
Xander stared in shock at Buffy, he had helped Willow, and this is what he had done. He had hurt his friend more than he could have possibly ever imagined. He couldn’t bring himself to think about what he had done.
Giles was speechless. His slayer had sacrificed herself and had been rewarded for it, but then, because her friends has been selfish and wouldn’t accept that she was dead, they had ripped away that privilege from her. He knew nothing he would say would stop the pain she would be feeling. He knew what Willow had done was wrong, he just hadn’t realised how wrong it really was.
“Ok guys, someone say something.” Buffy looked into the face of each one of her friends; she had tears running down he cheek, marring her face.
“Oh god Buffy I am so sorry. I didn’t know. We were so stupid, I’m so stupid. I thought I was helping. Oh, Buffy, I am so sorry.” Willow’s tears now matched Buffy’s as they poured down her cheeks. Standing up she went over to Buffy’s side of the table to go and give her a hug, however was shocked when Buffy flinched away from her.
“I’m sorry, I can’t… not yet.” Standing up Buffy walked over to the counter where she started pacing, “Well Giles any clue how to make me better then, I guess you know where I was now.”
“From what you have said Buffy I think that you were in Eden, it’s a form of paradise. Very few can achieve such state of paradise, you have to have been exceptional in life, but then again I always knew you were. I’m sorry Buffy this isn’t what you need to hear.”
“Just tell me how to make me better, Giles. That’s all I need right now.” Stopping pacing, Buffy looked Giles directly in the eye, ignoring all the other people in the room.
“That’s what I am trying to say, I don’t think there is a way to make you better Buffy. While searching for the mystical we have managed to over looked the physical.” Giles stood up and walked over to the stairs leading up to the mezzanine.
Buffy just stared at Giles, afraid to think of what he was saying. “What are you saying Giles? Just cut to the chase.” Buffy was starting to get angry now, why couldn’t Giles just say what he knew?
“I didn’t believe that you have developed the tumour while you where on this plane of existence Buffy. I had believed that the tumour had come from the hell dimension you were sent to, but you weren’t in hell Buffy. Eden is a place of great happiness; the tumour would not have developed there. The tumour was made and exists in this dimension.”
“No, no, no. No Giles there has to be something, something to stop the tumour. This can’t be the way it ends… its just can’t Giles. The doctor said it was 4 months ago, that’s when it came… Giles 4 months ago I was dead… I can’t have a tumour I can’t… please tell me I don’t…please…” Buffy’s voice rose an octave as she pleaded with Giles, her words trailed off as her voice closed off and tears ran down her face.
“I can’t do that Buffy. I wish to god I could. I believe there is nothing mystical about this, Buffy. The tumour is family related, in all probability you developed before you died. It will have lain dormant while you were dead and now you body is functioning again, so is the development of that tumour. I’m sorry Buffy, I really truly am.”
“No, no” Buffy stared at Giles wide eyed, shaking her head in disbelief tears running down her face. With a final look at the scoobies she ran out the door. The bell above the door rang around the suddenly silent store. Everyone stared at the door as though imagining that Buffy would suddenly come back into the room.
Xander stood up first. “I’ll go find her.”
Giles stopped him. “No, Xander let her go; she’ll have a lot to think about.” The room fell back into deathly silence; no one knew where to look or what to say. Everyone had a lot to think about, not just Buffy.
***
Buffy wandered around Sunnydale, she didn’t have a destination in mind nor did she care. Her head was full of unanswered questions. She had been so set on the idea that the tumour had developed when she had died and that they would find a cure, but now they were telling her that wasn’t the case. Her friends really had condemned her to hell.
Without realising it, her feet had taken her to Spike’s cemetery. Aimlessly she walked towards his crypt.
Pushing open the heavy door, she entered into the darken room. Spike was sat on the green chair drinking from a bottle of Jack Daniels.
“Slayer?” Buffy turned to face him, and Spike saw that she had tears in her eyes. Eyes that where bloodshot and clearly had seen a lot of tears that evening.
“You went away, why?” Buffy was speaking like a little child, reminiscent of when she had first come back and had come to his crypt then as well.
“You mean at the hospital?” Buffy nodded her head. “Didn’t think you wanted me there, pet. You had the scobbies round you. Didn’t need me.”
“Ok,” Tears welled in her eyes again. She didn’t want to think why what Spike had just said had upset her so much. What gave him the right to think she didn’t need him anymore; he was the only one she needed. That’s what was scaring her the most, why she needed her mortal enemy more than her best friend.
“What’s wrong, Buffy?” Buffy looked up into Spikes face when he used her real name.
“There is no mystical cure Spike. There’s no cure at all.” Fresh tears started to run down her cheeks.
“What do you mean, love, what did the doc and watcher boy have to say?” Spike knew the news wasn’t good; his slayer was so upset, he needed answers from her.
“I didn’t understand most of it, he used long words. But I understood just fine what he meant. I have a brain tumour, like what mom had. The only difference is mine can’t be operated on. It could have been caught and probably stopped a few months ago, but I wasn’t here being dead and all. So now there is nothing that can be done. I’m just so tired, Spike.”
Spike had to admit Buffy did look like she was about to collapse from sheer exhaustion.
What were the bloody doctors doing – why couldn’t they bloody well help her. He held his anger at bay while he spoke, he didn’t want to scare her.
“Here, pet, you go and lie down. There is a bed down stairs. You should sleep you look knackered, love.”
Nodding Buffy walked over to the hall in the floor “Spike?”
Looking up he stared into her emerald eyes, that where glassy from the tears that had been cried.
“Would you stay with me please?”
Silently Spike nodded. Together they walked down to the lower level, where Buffy slept soundly on his bed; it had been a long and tiring day. Spike watched over her while she slept. It was the most she had slept in a long time, feeling safe in his presence.
Spike laid thinking of the ways he could help her. Just watching as she slept.
***
Willow walked back from the bathroom. Placing her hairbrush she had been carrying on the dressing table she went and climbed into bed next to Tara.
Tara who had been slowly dosing off stirred slightly as the bed shifted as Willow got in “Hey Baby.” Tara voice was groggy from the sleep. “How are you doing now?”
“I’m doing ok.” Willow led next to her lover, feeling warm in her embrace. “Tara? Why didn’t she tell us? Don’t you think that that is something we should have known? Do you think she doesn’t trust us?”
“Oh Honey, I think maybe she was scared. She didn’t want to scare us too. I think we need to stop obsessing about this. Buffy is going to need our help dealing with everything. This must be very hard for her, especial after everything she has been through.”
Suddenly Willow sat bolt upright in bed causing Tara to jump.
“I can help. I know a spell. I can make her better, I just need…”
“No!” feeling Tara’s hand on her hand on her arm stopping her from getting out of bed, Willow looked at her, “You can’t do that Willow. That isn’t why we have the gift we have, we are suppose to respect life and death. Willow you know that.” Tara tried to stress the importance of this.
“But I can’t just lie here knowing what I have done and not do anything about it. I can’t Tara.”
Tara looked at Willow sadly, looking into her wide eyes. “I know this is hard baby – but you have to try you can’t do anything, we have to just help Buffy deal with everything now.”
Willow could understand what Tara was saying, they couldn’t use their power to play God and decide who lived and who died. Yet at the same time she could, and probably should, help. “Ok Baby – we’ll sleep now and deal with this is the morning.”
Lying back down she allowed Tara to snuggle up close to her. “I promise we can get through this. Buffy’s strong, Willow, and so are you.”
Willow led still as Tara drifted off to sleep. When she was sure that Tara was fully asleep, she wriggled out of her grasp, being carefully not to wake her sleeping girlfriend. Slipping out of the bed, she went to the chest at the end of the bed where she kept her more potent spell book. Looking through the books until she came to the specific book she was looking for, Willow pulled it out. Sitting cross-legged she read the list of dangerous ingredients she would require.
***
Buffy awoke in the early hours of the morning gasping for breath. Clutching her chest she realised with a sinking feeling, her ‘dream’ had been her reality. Each night she had the same dream of waking up in a coffin and having to claw her way out.
Feeling a soothing hand on her back, she glanced to her right to see Spike sat next to her rubbing her back.
“You’ll stop waking up like this eventually I promise. I know what it can be like.” Spike said in a soothing voice.
“Will it stop before I die again?”
“Hey!” Spike stopped rubbing her back placing his hands under her chin, turning her head to look at him. “Look just because the doc and Rupert said nothing can be done, doesn’t mean we stop looking. We may just have to look at more unorthodox methods, pet. I am not about to lose you again, Buffy.”
Buffy smiled “Thank you, Spike.” Deciding she needed to change the subject, Buffy quickly turned her eyes away from Spike. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed she slipped her feet back into her shoes. “I should get back to Dawn, she’s been on her own all night.”
Spike nodded, “Ok, love, I’ll take you home.”
Silently they walked back to Revello Drive.
***
As they approached the house, Spike’s vampire hearing picked up the sound of Willow inside muttering and cursing, something was definitely wrong inside the house.
“Pet, you just stay here. I’ll come and get you in a second. Ok?” Buffy looked at him dubiously “Buffy, promise me.” Pouting she slumped onto the bench on the porch. “Good.”
Giving the pouting girl one last glance, Spike entered the house.
“Red?” Spike said in a warning tone, making Willow suddenly look up and stop what she was doing. “What the hell are you up to?”
“Oh Spike, you scared me. I was just looking for a spell ingredient I knew I had down here.” Willow once again started looking through the cupboard she had been searching through when Spike had caught her.
“At 3 o’clock in the morning, while Glenda and Niblet are tucked up safe on their beds? Why don’t I believe you?” Spiked stared at Willow with a look of disbelief.
“It really is for a spell, Spike. It’s to help Buffy. I can make the tumour go away. Spike I can make things better. I have to make things better. I can’t carry on feeling this way. I can make it all go away.”
Spike took a step towards her, invading her personal space. He had to make her understand what she was messing with. He felt his temper raise again “Red you don’t know what you’re bloody messing with. You are stood here willing to risk your best friend’s life again! Just to make yourself sodding feel better. Buffy trusted you once Red, and now…”
“Spike” Hearing the small voice behind him, Spike turned to see Buffy stood by the open door way. His anger immediately vanished.
“Buffy?”
“I heard what Willow said, Spike. Will it work? Will it make it go away?” Buffy looked at her quiet friend.
Before Willow could say anything Spike strode over to Buffy. He spoke in a hushed whisper. “It’s not safe, pet. Magic always has consequences, always. Red knows that – she’s just not telling you that bit.”
Buffy looked into Spike’s eyes, “Spike, you are the one who said we’d find a cure – and here it is. Please Spike this is the only way.” Buffy then looked past Spike, who just bowed his head in submission, and looked directly at Willow. “Will, will it work?”
“There are some ingredients I need – but yeah, I can’t see why it won’t work. Buffy I promise I can make things better. I can make you better.” Willow looked at Buffy, trying to smile for her friend’s sake, Buffy however just kept a stony face.
“Fine. What ingredients do you need?”
“I need the blood of an x-nar demon. I don’t know where to get that – I could substitute for a different…”
“No!” Spike heaved a sigh through clenched teeth, Willow and Buffy looked at him. He spoke directly to Buffy “you sure you want to do it this way?” Buffy just nodded. “That’s what I thought.” Turning round he looked directly at Willow. “If we are going to do this we are going to do it bloody well right, less chance of things going wrong. I can get you the blood. Anything else you can’t get hold of? If you buggar this up, Red, I’ll have your guts for garters.”
“I have everything else, trust me Spike I’m not going to mess this up I know what I am doing I promise.”
“Fine I’ll do this, but I am not trusting you Red, magic isn’t to be trusted.” Turning away from Willow, Spike looked back at Buffy. Taking her hand he led her over to the settee. Sitting her down he sat on the coffee table opposite her. “Look, love, I will be back in an hour max… you sure you definitely want to do it this way, you know things could go wrong.”
“Spike, I know you are looking out for me, but we have to do this. Please.”
“I’ll do it. You stay here. Don’t go anywhere. Red will do the spell and we will have you good as new.” Spike forced a little smile. Standing up he strode over to the door and walked out the door without a second glance at the two girls.
Buffy and Willow looked at each other before sitting in complete silence. Nether looked or spoke to each other as they wait for Spike to return. The only sound heard in the whole house was the clock ticking in the hallway; it ticked away the minutes as the tumour carried on growing. Ticking away until Spike would return.
TBC…
I hope you all liked.. its all so sad i know.. please review, the more reviews the faster i write!!! Blackmail is evil i know!
[Reviews - 91]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 4133 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
This one is complete this time.. sorry it is late i have only just got back off my holidays didn't get chance to give it Ciley before i went away!
Next chapter will be up soon.. please review.. the more reviews the quicker it gets up!
Next chapter will be up soon.. please review.. the more reviews the quicker it gets up!