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Spike didn't cry until he got to his bedroom. He didn't really want to move on without Buffy, but he needed to because she didn't love him. For the past few months, she was all he could think about. He loved the way her hair bounced as she was walked, the sound of her voice when she laughed, and how she was so strong.

He needed to be strong, too. Too much time had been wasted on moping about her. But, it hurt so much. It felt like someone was squeezing his heart.

"Buffy," he softly sobbed and gripped his pillow. It was a while before he fell asleep.

* * *

Spike had bleached his hair again, Buffy thought as he made his way through the cafeteria. Buffy knew that he liked his hair that way, and wondered if it was because she had originally changed it that way. He must have done it sometime over the weekend. He really was going to get on with his life.

He walked with a purpose, ignoring the stares from the other tables. Even when he was popular, he didn't have the confidence he was now exuding. She found herself being proud of him, even if this new Spike was not going to be a part of her life.

She raised her eyebrows when he sat down at the table of a group of kids they hardly knew. What was he doing?

"Why is Spike sitting with them? Does he even know them?" Xander repeated Buffy's thoughts.

"I don't know. Maybe he wants to make new friends." Buffy stirred her fork around her spaghetti.

"Doesn't he want to sit with us? I thought we were being all friendly." Willow furrowed her brow.

"I'm sure he does, but he doesn't want to sit with me." Buffy's lip quivered a little, until she stopped it by biting it.

"Why?" Willow placed her hand on Buffy's.

Willow looked confused, but Xander had a look of understanding. "He has feelings for Buffy, but she doesn't return them," Xander answered for Buffy.

"You don't?" Willow looked at Buffy in surprise.

Xander tilted his head to the side. "Of course not. She never showed any signs." Both of them turned to look at Buffy.

Buffy paused, looking at her tray. "Actually, I do. Or at least I did, before everything blew up. I don't know what I feel now." Buffy pushed her tray away from her, suddenly not hungry. "It doesn't matter. Look at him, he's smiling and getting on with his life."

"He's hurting. You just don't see it." Willow observed. Spike was in the middle of telling the group at his table something funny. "Maybe you should figure out what your feelings are, and let him know."

Buffy already knew what her feelings were. She was just afraid that if she opened herself to him he would hurt her again. There was also the fear that somehow he would become a jerk again. She still blamed herself for his behavior months ago.

"I'll try to figure it out." Buffy grabbed her tray and left the cafeteria.

She didn't want to admit it, but she loved him.

* * *

By the time the bell for the end of school rang, Spike felt a little better. His plan to talk to other people worked. It was easier than he thought. The group at lunch seemed like an okay group of people, and they seemed to like him, too. He was also striking up conversation with people in his classes and in the halls. Most of them were happy to talk back to him.

He wasn't sure why they were so friendly. He hoped that it was because he was such a charismatic person, whom people wanted to know. Deep down, he thought that maybe they thought he was popular again, since word had spread that he sat at the Bronze with Cordelia on Saturday. Whatever it was, he was taking advantage of it. He would show them the better side of Spike.

Cameron seemed to get his friends back at lunch. Everyone had been avoiding him, until Cordelia asked him to sit at their table. Spike wasn't sure why she did that, but he thought that it might have been to keep him in his place. Cameron mellowed out when he realized that Cordelia held his popularity in her hands.

Spike was still weary that Cameron could do something to Buffy. He realised, thought, that it was more likely to happen if Cameron remained unpopular. He would take out his frustrations on her. Right now, Cameron didn't want to risk upsetting Cordelia, and she would know if anything happened to Buffy. Even though Spike wanted to get back at him for attacking Buffy, he knew that this was better in the long run. Somehow, Spike didn't think he needed to worry about him anymore.

Everything in his life seemed to get back on track, except for Buffy. He had hoped that she would call him up after he left the Bronze and tell him that she loved him, too. But, she didn't, and so he felt that he must have been right.

"Spike." Harmony walked up to him and put her hand on his forearm. Her blue dress clung to her body, and he had trouble looking away from the front. "I missed you."

Spike raised an eyebrow. What did she want? "Really. You didn't seem interested a week ago."

"Oh Spikey, I was so wrong about you. I had to go and listen to what others were saying, but I always knew you were special," she pouted. "You know, you could be popular again. I mean, Cordelia already likes you. But, if you were to be my boyfriend, you could have it all again."

Spike blinked and realized that he wasn't even tempted. Popularity just brought pain for others, and without Buffy it wasn't worth it. And as much as he thought Harmony was attractive, she wasn't Buffy. She wasn't even something that could take his mind off Buffy.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not interested." Spike took her hand and squeezed it. Harmony wasn't bad, she was just a sheep that couldn't do her own thing.

Her smile melted, but she nodded in acceptance. "Well, your loss." She bent over and kissed him on the cheek. Straightening up, she gave him a sad smile and walked down the hall.

He turned around to see Buffy standing on the other end of the hall watching him. His heart started pounding. She wasn't smiling. Did she misinterpret Harmony's kiss?

Walking over to Buffy, Spike decided that he was going to set things straight. When he reached her, she suddenly smiled.

"You turned her down."

Spike was set back. She knew. "I didn't want anything she had to offer."

"But, you could have been popular again."

"Popularity and me don't go well together." Spike smirked.

Buffy hugged him. "I'm glad you figured that out." Spike's breath caught, and he tentatively put his arms around her.

All the stress from the past months drained away as he held her. It felt so good to hold her again. Her head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck. He could do this forever.

Buffy moved to hold his face, her eyes moved between his eyes and mouth. "I love you. I was afraid that things would go bad if I admitted it, but you've changed." Her face glowed as she beamed at him.

Spike held his breath. He removed one of his hands from her back and pinched himself.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked with an amused look on her face.

"Checking to see if I'm dreaming, because I really hope that I'm not." He moved his hands to cover hers and squeezed them. He bent down and captured her lips in his. The kiss was different. It was less needy and more affectionate, as if they had all the time in the world. Spike put his arms around her again. "I love you so much." He kissed her neck.

"Let's go home." Buffy pulled Spike down the hallway. Spike smiled. He was feeling much better, now.


The End.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, what did you think? I felt this was the best way to end this story, but I would like to hear other people's opinions. Was there anything that didn't make any sense? Were there parts that just seemed to drag on and on? Did the characters seem like the ones on television (being in an AU)?





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