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The driveway was empty when Spike walked up to her front door. Buffy had said that she wanted to see him later that night. Spike didn't think that she was still mad about Harmony. Or maybe she wanted to wail on him in private. He was prepared either way. He stood for a while in the glow from the outside lamp before ringing the doorbell. The chime was faint, followed by footsteps and the creak of the door opening.

"My mom and Dawn are visiting my aunt this evening, so we're alone." Buffy motioned him to enter.

"Okay." He looked around at the simple decor in her living room. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Do you want something to drink?" Buffy abruptly walked towards the kitchen.

"No, thanks." Spike followed Buffy and sat down on a stool at the kitchen table. He drummed his fingers on the table as he waited for Buffy to speak.

Buffy looked up from the refrigerator with a can of diet soda in her hand. She took a sip and sat down next to Spike. "Do you miss Willow and Xander?"

Spike's fingers stopped moving and he looked at her. He wasn't expecting that.

"They've moved on," he said, avoiding the question.

"I saw what you did to Willow last week," Buffy said staring at her soda. "That was the reason I wasn't going to go to Cordelia's party. I was so mad at you."

Spike's heart jumped. He had been able to push the guilt aside, because he hadn't had to confront it. Now, Buffy was forcing him to think about it again.

"I have to go along with Cameron and Gage."

"No, you don't," she interrupted. "I'm the one who made you popular, not them. You don't see me making fun of people."

"It's different for you."

Buffy slowly rotated the soda can. "Cameron and Gage only picked on Willow because she used to be your friend. They had left her alone before you joined the group. They're not nice people."

If Spike didn't know better, he'd think that she didn't like them herself. But she belonged with them. She was popular. They were popluar. It had been that way since Spike moved to Sunnydale three years ago. It didn't make any sense.

"Then why are they your friends?" Spike paused to rest his head in his hands. "You don't know what it's like to be on the outside. I don't want to go back there."

"Why? You had good friends. They truly cared about you. What do I have? Cordelia is the only one who cares, but there are things I could never tell her. You could tell Willow and Xander anything and not worry about what they thought about you."

"But nobody looked up to me." Spike shook off the guilt that started to build up inside him. "A girl like Harmony never would have wanted me." Spike watched as Buffy's expression darkened . Good, now they were getting to an argument that he was prepared for.

"If you really wanted to date her, we could have staged a breakup. You humiliated me."

"Really? How do you think I felt when you were getting cozy with Angel yesterday?"

Buffy gaped at Spike. "We were just talking! I didn't have my tongue down his throat."

"Well, Harmony isn't an ex I never got over." When Buffy shook her head, Spike continued, "I'm not stupid. I know the main reason you wanted to pretend to date me was to keep Cameron away."

Buffy spun her chair away from Spike. "You don't know me at all."

Spike grabbed the arm of Buffy's chair and turned her back to him. "How can I? You're never around!"

"If you were worth being around, I would be around." Buffy crossed her arms over her chest.

Spike felt like she had punched him in the gut. What had happened? She used to like him. But that was when he was doing what she wanted, he told himself. He pushed himself off the stool and stalked over to the front door and flung it open. He didn't want to talk to her.

Spike paused in the doorway and looked out at the quiet street. Why did he sometimes feel like throwing everything away just to make her happy? Why was she so unhappy anyway? This makeover was her doing. Closing the door, he turned around and walked into the kitchen. Buffy wasn't there. Thinking that she must have gone upstairs, he slowly climbed the stairs to check out the second floor. Buffy was at the end of the hall facing away from him. He walked up to her and laid his hand on her shoulder.

Buffy jumped and sharply turned around. "I thought you left."

"We need to chat this out. I think I know what the problem is," Spike said as Buffy raised an eyebrow. "You once said that you didn't like sheep, but you wanted me to be a certain type of person. Since I'm my own man, you can't handle it."

"Hah!" Buffy laughed. "Your own man? You are a sheep. Cameron says jump, you jump."

Spike kept his temper in check. "I do what I want!"

"Those things you did to Willow, were they what you wanted? Are you really like that?"

"I told you that I had no choice!" Spike exclaimed, while Buffy smirked.

"Sheep."

"I'm not a sheep!"

"Baaa!" Buffy replied.

"What?"

"Baaa!"

"Stop that."

"Baaa! Baaa!"

With a growl, Spike grabbed her by her arms and pulled her against him. Buffy lifted her chin in defiance and opened her mouth to say something, but Spike covered her mouth with his own. All the anger, guilt, and unresolved feelings he had for Buffy went into the kiss. She immediately pushed at his shoulders. Her efforts died down, and Buffy grabbed his hair to pull him closer to her. One of them moaned. Spike backed Buffy against the wall. He could feel the softness of her body, and how it seemed to mold against his.

His right hand let go of her upper arm and began to trail down the soft skin of her arm. Buffy pushed him away from her, and he groaned in protest. Moving towards him, she reached up and pulled his face down to kiss him again. He vaguely realized that she was moving him somewhere. His legs were stopped by a soft surface, and with a final push, he fell back on a bed. Buffy immediately followed and sat on top of him. When she pulled her shirt off, and he saw her naked breasts, his mind cleared. He realized what she wanted to do.

"Buffy." His voice seemed to stop her movements. She had a surprised look on her face as she glanced at her shirt in her hands, the bed, and finally himself.

After what seemed like an eternity, she spoke, "I don't want to stop." She threw her shirt to the floor.

"I've never.." He was afraid that he wouldn't know what to do.

"It's okay." Buffy reached down and kissed him. This time it was softer and a little hesitant. She stopped and glanced at him. He gently held her face and reached up and kissed her again.

"What are you thinking about right now?" she breathed.

"You and how beautiful you are." Spike brushed his hand across her breast. Buffy took in a quick breath of air and smiled.

He removed the rest of her clothes, and she did the same to him. He thought she was beautiful at the beach the other week, but to see her completely naked took his breath away. The pleasure he felt wasn't only because he had never seen a naked woman in person before. He knew it would have been different with another woman.

Buffy guided his hand to her body and showed him how she wanted to be touched. Spike was in awe at the sight, feel, and sound of her. He wanted to make sure that he made up for his inexperience, so he did everything she asked. He even improvised some, and when her reaction was positive, he was pleased.

Smiling, Buffy pushed him to lie on his back and reached over to her nightstand drawer. She came back opening a condom. Spike gulped. She put it on him and lowered herself on him. He had never felt anything so good before. It was tight, hot, and completely surrounding him. As she began to rise and fall on him at a steady pace, he could do nothing but watch her with his mouth open. It was slowly driving him wild. At one point, he couldn't take it any longer, and flipped them over. He thrust into her at a faster pace. He heard her cry out and felt her tighten around him. His mind was exploding, as he quickly followed.

* * *

Buffy glanced at the clock and lightly shook Spike, who was sleeping. "My mom will be back soon. You need to go."

Spike looked around the room and smiled. "Okay." He touched her hair. Buffy smiled and softly kissed him.

She watched him get dressed and slipped on an old pair of sweats. He was being sweet, and maybe she finally got his mind on her and not being popular. At least, he shouldn't think of Harmony anymore, she thought. There was already a lot of damage done to Willow and Xander, so it would probably take awhile to get them to forgive Spike. That is, if he wanted to be their friend again. She hoped that he would.

It wasn't that she had planned on using sex to get him to be a better person. At first, she was lost to the sensation of kissing and touching him. But, the thought had crossed her mind that if he really enjoyed it, then he would want to please her - and it would please her greatly if he wasn't a jerk. So, she took it further than she probably would have otherwise.

She didn't regret it, though. Spike was very good. Angel hadn't liked it when she tried to get him to do anything differently. In his mind, since she was a virgin when they started dating, he knew more about sex than and "knew" where to touch her. It wasn't that he was bad, he just wasn't as ready to please as Spike was.

She wasn't sure how this would change things between her and Spike. She just hoped that it would be for the better.

* * *

Joyce was tagging and sorting the pieces from a new shipment that had arrived at her small gallery. Buffy was in a very good mood last night when she and Dawn had gotten back. She suspected that William must have done something to please her. They had been fighting. Buffy had never said anything about a fight, but Joyce could tell. Buffy had been moody for the past month. The bell to the shop door interrupted her thoughts, so she went to the front to see to the potential customer.

Mary Pearl, one of her neighbors, was looking at a painting. "Joyce, I've been by this place so many times, but I never got around to seeing what was inside."

"Do you see anything you like?"

Mary picked out a painting and Joyce wrapped it for her. "How's Buffy? Was she hurt badly in the car accident?"

"What accident?" Joyce had just seen Buffy that morning, and hadn't heard from anybody about an accident that day.

"From over a month ago. When another car hit hers and drove off." Mary paused. "I didn't help her because Anne's son, from across the street, went out to help her. Then she drove the car home, so I didn't worry about it.She didn't tell you about it?"

"No, she didn't. I didn't notice any dents in the car." Joyce was a little angry, now. Buffy must have driven the car when she was out of town.

"She must have gotten it fixed, because there was a huge dent in the car."

Now Joyce was curious as to where Buffy got the money for the repairs. She was going to have a little talk with her eldest tonight.

TBC





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