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Willow closed her eyes for a second and breathed deeply. The only sounds she could hear were the quiet whirring of her laptop, the air-conditioner which has been on all summer, and Tara's steady breathing. They had the house to themselves tonight. Dawn had gone to a friend's house for a sleepover and Buffy had taken this opportunity to spend the night at Spike's. Not that he didn't sleepover at least twice a week. Willow smiled and opened her eyes.

Tara lay asleep in the double bed they had managed to squeeze into Buffy's old room. Willow sat cross-legged next to a lifeless April, who was lying in the middle of the floor, face up. She had been dressed in a skirt and simple top to make access to her stomach easier. Said stomach had been pulled back, revealing a mass of complicated wires, computer chips, and electric machinery. Willow poured over her laptop, which sat on her knees and was connected via several bright wires to the mechanisms in April's robotic stomach.

Willow had been sad a lot all summer. She still blamed herself for what had happened to Tara. So Willow had taken to working on reprogramming April for about two hours every night, after Tara had gone to bed. It took her mind off things.

It was mid-July and Willow was nearly done. She had re-written almost all of April's programs but was having difficulty with installing them. Willow sighed and threw her head back, closing her eyes.

Getting an idea, Willow restarted April's main computer. When the android's computer was running again, the codes began uploading successfully. Willow smiled at her handiwork.

Suddenly, Willow's eyes lit up. Setting down her laptop, and leaving it to finish its uploads, she went over to her and Tara's bookcase of spell books and pulled out a few volumes.

She turned, looked at Tara, and smiled.

--= * =-- --= * =-- --= * =--

Spike lay awake on the stone sarcophagus, his mate resting on top of him, and a light sheet covering them both. He marveled at how her body melded with his as she slept. Usually when she slept over, they'd sleep in his bed, but the summer heat had driven them to seek a cooler alternative.

She stretched like a cat and opened her eyes tiredly as she wriggled up his body to get closer to his face. They locked eyes and she smiled and leaned forward into a kiss. When he didn't respond, she re-opened her eyes

"What?" She asked confused.

When he exhaled and didn't meet her eyes, she propped herself up a bit, reached out, and laid a hand on his cheek. He looked at her, his love for her shining out his eyes.

"What?" She asked again, softer this time.

"I just...don't want you to regret this...regret us," he admitted, looking down.

"Why would I regret this?"

He looked at her. He wanted to be honest and to tell her the truth, but he didn't know how to tell her that what she thought was true-love-at-last was actually only a temporary after-effect of being turned. He'd love her until it killed him, whatever she was, wherever she went, whoever she became, and he didn't want to turn down the love he was now finally receiving in return. He knew it was selfish. But he could feel guilty for a century after she snapped back to reality, while he only had a short time to bask in her unconditional love.

So he looked at her, and lied.

"I dunno, pet. Just a bad thought I guess," he said and pulled her close.

--= * =-- --= * =-- --= * =--

"This may end," Giles said. He assumed Spike knew of Buffy's coming epiphany, and had guessed--correctly--that Spike hadn't informed her about it. He didn't want to alert Buffy but he didn't want to see either of them get hurt. Giles thought for a moment of the irony that he now cared about a soulless vampire's feelings.

Spike looked at him, wondering why the ex-Watcher didn't just bluntly say "this will end".

"I know."

There was a pregnant pause in the conversation. It was late, near midnight. The only sounds Spike and Giles could hear were the thumps of Buffy's sparring match with the punching bag emanating from the backroom.

Giles took a deep breath.

"You have to turn her away now," he said at last.

"No."

"But a turned-Slayer's epiphany could be disastrous. Such a contrast could drive her mad."

Neither of them noticed the sudden lack of thumps. Buffy crept across the room and put her ear against the door that separated the main part of the Magic Box from the training room.

"Turning her away now and leaving her to face it alone would her hurt more. Even if you don't like it, the biggest comfort to a vampire childe is their sire. That never changes. Even Angel is at his most content when Darla's around. She'll need her sire, and that's me."

Giles closed his eyes in debate, thinking of the best way to put what he wanted to say.

"I hope you can handle her rejection, if it comes. It'll hurt."

*There it was again.* Spike thought. *The '/if/ she ends up not loving you' attitude.* Where Giles got the idea that Buffy could love him after her epiphany, Spike couldn't fathom, but what he took for support was appreciated.

"She doesn't love you, you know," Giles said slowly.

Spike knew that was true, but he hated hearing it just the same.

"Yes, I do," Buffy said coming out of the training room. She glared daggers at Giles. "Is this a vampires-can't-love thing? Cause if it is--"

"It's not," Giles interrupted.

She puts her hands on her hips.

"Then what is it? Because I do love him."

Spike, who had been quiet through the ex-Slayer's entrance, spoke up.

"No you don't, pet," he said quietly.

She turned her attention to him, frowning.

"What?" She said in a slightly calmer voice.

"You don't," he said quietly, looking away. "Not really."

She lowered her arms and looked slightly hurt. Then she walked up to him slowly.

"Look at me."

He did.

"I love you."

She smiled warmly at him and slipped her hand into his, their fingers lacing.

"Nothing's going to change that."

Spike didn't look convinced, but he gave her a sad smile and pulled her into a hug.

"I really wish, pet, I really wish," he said softly.

Because of Spike, Giles hadn't a doubt in his mind that vampires, sans soul, could love. It was a different shape than human love, but it was no less true. It wasn't that vampires didn't have feelings, he realized, they just didn't have a conscience to rein them in.

He felt a heavy feeling settle over his heart as he watched the two vampires' embrace.

--= * =-- --= * =-- --= * =--

Tara's prone body spasmed on the bed. Willow grew concerned but continued repeating the chant for a spell she had written in her spiral-bound notebook. It was no leather-bound Grimoire but it got the job done.

Willow's concern was lessening. She had gotten chills when Tara had been lying completely still, devoid of breath a few minutes ago. Now her lover looked like she was suffering a seizure and was whimpering, but she was breathing.

A ripple blasted through the room, hit the walls, and rebounded toward Tara. There was a crystallized ring as they entered her body, and then suddenly she arched her back and her eyes flew open with a gasp.

"Tara?" Willow said in a hushed voice and dropped her notebook. She rushed from the circle of sacred sand she had been standing in and to the bed.

Tara lay panting and gasping for air. Willow clambered onto the bed and leaned over her.

"Baby?" Willow said, one of her hands comfortingly on Tara's shoulder and the other in her hair, behind her lover's head.

Tara's breathing calmed and her eyes swiveled to meet Willow's hopeful ones.

"Will?" Tara said breathlessly.

"It's me," Willow said through a tear-accompanied smile. "I'm here."

Tara's gave a distressed look and tears formed in her eyes.

"Oh Will...I got so lost."

"It's okay," Willow said and shifted her weight so that she was holding a still-shaking Tara. "Everything's okay now."





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