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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to all those wonderful people who reviewed, and thanks to my beta Kelly who is abosolutely amazing!
Buffy couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. Her lips opened and shut trying to find words that weren’t there. Spike’s blue gaze held her captive. They stood out the front of the doctors, Trey standing a few feet away from Buffy.


"Pet, can we talk?" Spike asked softly taking a step closer to Buffy.


"Um. I-I…I have to go!" Buffy said nervously looking anywhere and at anyone but Spike. She turned and took a step towards Trey.


"No! Not this time.” Spike grabbed her arm. “We have to talk eventually pet. And, and I want to, need to do it now.” Spike looked down at her. Hair all tussled, face flushed. She looked absolutely gorgeous. “Faith and me had ourselves a nice lil chat.” Buffy’s eyes went wide and she sucked in a huge gasp of air. “Nothing bad pet, just had to explain a few things is all. Listen will you come out with me. So we can talk.” Spike asked her with pleading eyes.


"Right now?” Buffy looks down at herself. “I look like crap!” Spike broke out in a huge smile. “I’m pregnant and moody and so not in the mood for this. Just“ Buffy paused. “Go back to your hoe bag” Buffy whispered looking Spike in the eye. Her own eyes holding her tears at bay. Spike sent Buffy a pleading look with his eyes and she scrunched up her face as her fission went blurry.


"Luv are you okay?" Spike asked seeing the face’s she was making. Buffy sat down on the concrete garden next to the sign that indicated it was the doctors surgery.


"I am not. your love.” She whispers. Trey walked over to the couple and places his hand on Buffy’s. “Just go away!. Please. I…I just want to be left alone." Buffy sighs turning her head to face Spike.


"Buffy. Pet. Please just give me a chance to explain." Spike says running a hand through his hair.


"Fine, you've got five minutes!" Buffy exclaims after a few minutes of silence. Trey had sat down next to Buffy on the concrete stones as Spike paced back and forth between them. A glimmer of hope sparks through his eyes as he starts.


"The girl you saw me with. She’s-she isn't my girlfriend luv.” Buffy meets his gaze and nods for him to continue. “After I got kicked out and we had to move. I tried to contact you” He paused and talked softer. “So many times I tried.” Buffy’s eyes welled with tears. “But. Your parents had other ideas I guess. They always answered.” Trey squeezed Buffy’s hand giving her his support. “When I couldn't get a hold of you. When I thought I’d lost you. I uh, I started drinking a lot.” Buffy gave him a glare and he shrugged. “One night I was at the bronze, totally off my face. Which is no excuse. But she looked so much like you.” Spike said in a dreary voice his own eyes tearing up. “I-I kissed her.” Buffy looked down at the pavement not meeting his gaze. “I realized she wasn’t you! I left. That's all that happened I swear!” Spike sat down on the other side of Buffy and placed a hand on her thigh. “Bloody bint won’t leave me alone.” Buffy let out a laugh and turned to meet his gaze.


“I love you Buffy!" Spike whispered as he cupped Buffy’s cheek and wiped a stray tear that had fallen from her eye onto her cheek. The shrill shrieking of Harmony was heard and Spike let out a groan and slumped a head on Buffy’s shoulder.


“God kill me now” He whispered causing Buffy to laugh.


"Blondie Bear?” Harmony struts over and removes her glasses from her face. “Why aren't you in school?” She folded her arms over her chest and sent Buffy a glare. “I missed you, and what are you doing with that pregnant freak?" She sent Buffy another glare.


"I was just leaving..." Spike’s hand than had come to rest on her thigh tightened. Buffy sent Spike a soft teary smile before she stood. On shaky legs Trey helped guide her to the car. Watching out the window as they drove past, Spike and Harmony arguing. She was so confused, not knowing whether or not to believe Spike. She closed her eyes and sighed.


"Come on let's get you home and into bed. You should be relaxing remember?" Trey smiles casting a quick glance away from the road to Buffy.


"Yes doctor!" Buffy laughs.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Faith we're home!” Trey yelled out as he and Buffy entered the house. “Come help me!" He yelled as Faith rounded the corner and came into the hallways. She laughed seeing the sight before her.


“I‘m not made of china!” Buffy smacked Trey’s chest. “Put me down!” Trey only chuckled and continued to carry Buffy into the lounge room.


"Pray tell. Why is my sister crying?" Faith asked looking down at Buffy who had curled her legs up on the couch.


"That Spike kid came to the doctors. Met him out the front" Trey said folding his arms across his chest.


Faith sat down next to Buffy on the couch. "I’m sorry I didn't tell you sweetie. It's just someone had to hear him out." Faith wiped the tears from Buffy’s cheeks.


"I don’t know what to believe anymore. It hurts to breathe.” Buffy cried holding her chest. “It hurts to talk.” Faith gave Buffy a sympathetic look. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” Buffy’s shoulders started to shake with the force of her tears. “Please don't make me leave. I just want to stay here. Not leave until my next doctor's appointment." Buffy said leaning on Trey’s shoulder. He had sat down on her other side.


"Okay.” Faith paused. “If that’s what you really want. I don't know why you don't want to try to finish school?" Faith said as Buffy turned to look at her. The tears had stopped flowing so freely.


"It's just too hard. Can we just leave it at that for now?" Buffy said tucking a stray piece of hair from her face behind her ears. “I‘m tired. Think I‘m gonna go lie down for a while.” Buffy stood and slowly walked to her bedroom and shut the door. Trey and Faith made their way to the kitchen to make supper.


*DREAM*


"Buffy” Spike stroked Buffy’s shoulder and down her arm sending shivers up and down her body. “I love you so much" Spike kissed her collar bone, making his way up her neck.


"I know you do” Buffy whispered tilting her head to the side as Spikes assault on her neck continued. “I just don't understand why you left!"


"Everyone leaves at one point luv. You needed to live your own life!" Spike’s hand wound its way around her waist.


"I was, until..." Buffy looks down at her stomach capturing Spike’s hand, bringing it around the front to rest on her baby bump.


"Yeah.” He smiled bright looking up to Buffy. “I’m excited." He smiled again, his hand running circles on her stomach.


"But?" Buffy looked down again at her stomach.


"You know we’re too young for mac and cheese!"


"What. What are you talking about?" Spike’s voice faded in and out as reality came crashing down.


"Mac and cheese. Buffy haven’t you been listening?” Faith asked shaking her twin’s shoulders. “Wake up. Supper’s ready!" Faith smiled.


"Spike?" Buffy slowly sat up pushing the hair from her eyes.


"No.” Faith laughed shaking her head. “Get your ass up or I will push you on the floor!" She poked Buffy in the shoulder.


*END DREAM*


Buffy mumbled something as Faith poked her tongue out and made her way out of the room. It was all a dream; Faith had infiltrated her dream again. She wanted to cry. Every night for as long as she can remember since he had left she’d had dreams.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Faith had made up her mind. Yes. She Faith Summers was going to look for a job after school. Trey had to go back to school that day which left Buffy alone at home by herself. That wasn’t happening of course which lead to where they were now, walking down the halls of Sunnydale High.


"Come on B. I‘m dropping you off with Giles." Faith said as the rounded the corned seeing the doors to the library looming ahead.


"Fine, but if I see Spike I am running." Buffy folded her arms and followed her sister. Trey had dropped them off that morning at the entrance of the school saying he would pick them up at the end of the day.


"Hey Giles!” Faith yelled swinging the doors open. Giles came running out of his office and slowed to a walk seeing the two girls. “Can I leave Buffy here with you today?" Faith asked handing Buffy a bag.


"Yes you can but….” Giles coughed and took of his glasses. “Shouldn't she be going to class?" He had pulled out a hanky and was wiping his glasses.


"Can't” Faith shrugged. “Gets too stressed out. Doc said it’s bad for her. And being near that many new people will stress her out!" Faith said watching as Buffy sat down at a table.


"Ok. I don’t mind." Giles nodded and placed his glasses back on.


"B. I’ll come back during lunch to hang with you but until then be good. Don't run off please." Faith said backwards walking towards the double doors.


"I won't Faith” Buffy said sending Faith a look “I love you!"


"You too B." Faith said smiling and turning just before opening the door and heading out.


"Hey Giles. Have a look at this” Buffy pulled the picture from her bag out and held it up to Giles. “It’s a picture of your grand child. You wanna see it?" Buffy asked shyly.


"Of course." Giles smiled coming to stand in front of Buffy. Buffy handed the black and white photo over to Giles who turned it at different angles.


"Oh.” Giles whispered eyes starting to tear up. “It's like seeing William when he was in Jenny." Giles smiled softly handing the picture back to Buffy after looking at it for a while longer. He couldn’t believe his William was going to be a father.


"Oooo the sunshine’s come back. Got her own bundle of sun to share with us all” Drusilla’s hypnotic voice could be heard as the doors to the library opened. “It’s so good to see you Buffy“ Drusilla smiled walking elegantly into the room to embrace Buffy in a hug.


“Dru!” Buffy welcomed the hug with opened arms and started to cry at seeing the familiar face. “I missed you so much” She cried as Dru made soothing noises.


"Our sunshine is growing up. Going to be a mummy. My Spike will be so happy.“ Dru smiled swaying in front of Buffy. “I’m going to be an aunty" Her eyes were wide and sparkling with excitement.


“Yes you are!” Buffy laughed. Giles shook his head and made his way over to the counter.


"It was rumbling, and tumbling.“ Dru paused looking down at Buffy’s stomach; she tilted her head to the side. “Wriggling all around” She started running her hands around her own stomach in circles.


“It has been, yeah.” Dru took a bit of getting used to but Buffy seemed to have a connection with her and was able to understand her most lucid moments. “And how have you been.” Buffy smiled.


"Good good.” she paused looking towards the library doors then back at Buffy.


“Does daddy know?” She asked in indication towards Spike.


"Yes” Buffy paused looking down and then up again meeting her gaze. “He knows. I-I just can’t put up with him right now." Her eyes welled again with tears.


"The stars will come into alignment and sunshine will play with daddy again. You'll see!" Dru smiled starting to spin in a circle her arms spread wide. Their was a certain twinkle in her eye. “I shall come back later. The little mouse wants to talk to me” Dru laughed picturing the principle.


"I can’t wait.” Buffy stood and walked to where Dru was standing. “It was nice seeing you again Dru." Buffy wrapped her arms around her small frame and held on tight.


~~~~~~~~~


*LUNCH*


The double doors made their usual creek as they were opened. Buffy’s head shot up and her ‘Deer in headlights’ face turned into a smile at seeing Faith walking towards her. She was followed by a small group of people.


"Hey B, hope you don’t mind. I brought a few people.” Faith sat down on the table top in front of Buffy. “Anya here was telling me about a job I can get. Her dad is trying to hire people.” Buffy smiled and then looked at the others standing before her. “And these” Faith gestured to the group. “Are her friends... I wanted to introduce you to them. This here is Willow as you know from our first day, and her boyfriend Oz. This is Anya, and her boyfriend Xander." Faith pointed to each person with a smile on her face. In return they each gave a smile or a short wave. After a few minutes of introductions the doors swung open and Dru walked in her lunch in her hands. Buffy’s eyes sparked up and she broke out into another bright smile.


"Hey Dru. Long time no see. What are you doing here?" Faith asked giving Dru a brief hug and sitting back down on the table top.


"Sunshine want’s to eat with me." Drusilla explained looking at the group of people a puzzled look on her face. Their was an uncomfortable silence until Anya’s over happy voice broke through its haze.


"So you’re pregnant?” She smiled leaning forward to look closely at Buffy’s stomach. “That must be uncomfortable!" She exclaimed bluntly smiling.


"Anya!” Xander said shooting Anya a look. She gave him a puzzled look in return. “Don't scare her. She didn‘t mean anything" Xander laughed nervously eyes glancing to Buffy’s stomach.


"I uh… I’m just gonna go and sit in Giles office..." Buffy said standing on shaky legs. Giles who was still at the counter just nodded and watched as she started towards his office door. She was up to the counter when her breathing started to come in short gasps. Her breaths were coming in shorter as her fission started to blur, starting to get light headed. She grabbed onto the counter top before she fell to the floor with a thud darkness consuming her.





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