“Don’t you dare ‘hi’ me, young lady. I want answers and I want them right now.” Joyce thundered her way into the room and stared unblinking at the couple on the couch as she blatantly ignored the other people in the room. Her jaw ticked in anger as she stared down the young slayer, who had conveniently cowered behind the vampire.

Spike cleared his throat, “’s not the slayer’s fault mum…Joyce…Mrs. Summers.” He cringed at the thought that a human woman could make him want to crawl into a cavern and never emerge again. ’Least she doesn’t ‘ave an axe with ‘er this time. He quickly glanced around the room for a quick weapons check. Finding that she wasn’t considering any, he sunk deeper into the couch.

“Mom…” Buffy braced herself as the glare switched over to her, “There was a spell involved and…Willow, tell her.”

The redhead blanched, “Uh, she’s uh, Buffy’s right. I-I did a spell but I didn’t tell them to get married! Well, not exactly… They did that all on their own so really it isn’t my fault.” She shrugged at the young blonde who was currently shooting daggers in her direction.

“Willow!” Buffy sputtered as she wrung her hands together, avoiding her mother’s disproving stare.

Joyce paced in front of them, her anger clearly visible as she stalked along the carpet. “I don’t care whose fault it is. The fact of the matter is that my little girl got married to that thing, sorry William, got married to that man and didn’t even think about considering the fact that her mother wanted to be there!” She stopped short. “Where are you two going to live? Surely, Buffy cannot keep living in the dorms and Spike…wherever you’re currently residing.”

Spike pointed at the bemused watcher, “’is bathtub.”

“What?”

“’m currently residin’ in ‘is bathtub. ‘e chains me in ‘very night, won’t even let me watch Passions” The vampire pouted as his mother-in-law turned on the unsuspecting British Watcher.

“You made him sleep in the bathtub?! Could you be anymore heartless?” Joyce fumed, “He’s a poor, helpless man and you made him live in a bathtub. Until you two find a more suitable arrangement, William, you can move into the basement until you can find more suitable living quarters.”

A moment of silence took over the room as its occupants glanced around at one another, surprised at the lack of yelling and screaming they had been expecting.

Giles broke the silence, “Yes, now that we are all clear on the rules of ethical Vampire treatment, may we please get back to the fact that the Gem of Amara would be impossible to procure in the short time we have allotted. I’m rather sure that Angel would not be pleased to hand the ring back to be used on another vampire, especially one he has proclaimed to dislike…”

“Uh…Angel doesn’t exactly have the gem thingy.” Buffy nearly whispered as she ducked her head to the side to avoid her watcher’s astonished gaze.

Willow yelped, “B-but you sent him the gem after you…you didn’t send it, did you?” Her face fell as the slayer’s ducked lower in admission.

“Uh, hello! Angelus with an access pass to humans, day and night, I’m not that stupid. I sent a ring, not the ring.”

Giles wiped furiously at his glasses, “You sent him a ring? What if he had tried to go out into the sunlight with it?”

“It’s Angel. He wouldn’t have used it anyway, it’s too much power and he doesn’t have that much control over Angelus…”

Spike snorted, “One in the same, luv.”

She tilted her head to the side, “Huh?”

“Angel and Angelus, they’re the same bloody thing, luv. The soul just suppresses his desires for violence, makes it harder for ‘im to kill ‘n not feel compassion for ‘imself after.”

Giles paused, “Where exactly is the ring, Buffy?”

Buffy sighed and leaned back against the couch, “It’s safe. That’s all you need to know. I’ll give it to Spike tomorrow before we meet Riley and inform him that unless he wants to date me and my husband…that didn’t sound right.”

Spike smirked, “We’ll tell the poof to bugger off ‘n come back ‘ere.”

Joyce frowned from across the room, “Who is Riley? Do I know him?”

“He’s my date!” Buffy chirped.

“He’s your what?” Joyce asked, astonished and dismayed.

Buffy groaned, “I sort of have a date set up with him for tomorrow night.”

“Buffy!”

The slayer groaned before replying, “I wasn’t married then!”

Spike chuckled, “’s not ‘er fault. Married ‘er after she had set up the date with the overgrown cub scout but we’re rectifyin’ that tomorrow.”

Joyce thought it over for a moment and although she was nowhere near pleased her only daughter was married, and married to a vampire-man thing, she was pacified by the fact that her daughter wouldn’t be dating another man on top of it. “You do realize that you are going to have to tell your father, right?”

The room gave a collective groan.

“Do I gotta?” Buffy dropped her head onto Spike’s shoulder as she avoided her mother’s burgeoning grin. “Can’t you just tell him?”

“Absolutely not. I’m not the one who decided to run off to Vegas to get married.” Joyce grinned as Buffy groaned even louder.

“Can’t I just leave him a message?”

Joyce chuckled, “Do what you wish but just remember that he’ll probably drive out here to meet his new son-in-law.”

Giles handed Buffy the telephone as the others gathered around to listen to the message she was mentally preparing.

Quickly dialing the seven numbers, she waited as the phone rang and rang until, finally, the answering machine picked up. “Uh, hey dad, um, I just wanted to let you know that something big sort of happened…Igotmarried. Bye.” She slammed the phone down with a clang and turned back to her mother. “Happy?”

Joyce replied sardonically, “Ecstatic. Are you going back to the dorms tonight or coming home?”

The blonde couple glanced at each other briefly before answering together, “Home.”





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