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Buffy didn't stop running until her feet hit her front porch.

She dropped onto the top step and put her head between her knees, trying to fill her burning lungs with air. Her whole body was tingling and she knew it wasn't from exertion.

It was him and the kiss.

Why? Why, why, why?

She felt like kicking herself for breaking her own rules.

But she couldn't help it. That's why she couldn't be around him anymore.

Her world stood still when he was around, feelings that were buried deep below pain and heartache started clawing their way to the surface.

She needed help.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike threw the door open and stomped into the house.

He passed Giles, who took one look at his face and turned back to the television.

Flinging the door to his room open, he slammed it closed and fell face first on the bed. He grabbed his pillow and screamed into it until he was sure his throat was bleeding.

Was she really worth it? Was she honestly worth the hell he was currently going through?

Yes.

He sighed and closed his eyes, racking his brain for anything that might get him closer to her.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy knelt down in front of the gravestone and ran her fingers through the soft grass surrounding it.

"Hey, mommy."

She brought her legs out and crossed them, resting her elbows on them to prop her head up.

"I miss you. But everything is going good. Dawn's getting ready for college, the gallery is awesome, and --"

She sighed and ran her hand across her eyes.

"He's back."

She looked at the ground, pulling bits of grass and letting them blow away with the wind.

"It's like-- A part of me always knew he'd be back, but another part of me wouldn't let myself think it. Because if I did, then I would just sit around and what for him to come home."

And it hit her. It hit her like tidal wave.

Tears clouded her eyes and she looked at her mother's grave.

"But that's exactly what I've been doing, isn't it."

It wasn't a question, it was an answer.

She thought about her life since he left. And she realized, she hadn't been living.

She had been waiting.

For him.

But her heart was still shattered, the pain was still there.

Could she take the risk?

Or would she live the rest of her life alone.

She could take the risk and spend the rest of her life loving him, or she could push him away and live alone, resenting the love she felt for him.

She turned her head toward the stars, but they didn't have an answer for her.

Because she already held the answer in her heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She trudged into her bedroom and began tugging at her clothes. She threw her boots off and pulled her pants down her legs, stepping out of them and heading toward her dresser. She pulled her gown out and slipped it over her head, sighing in bliss at the feeling of the cool silk sliding down her body. The gown had just settled around her ankles when she heard it.

Her eyes opened, looking around the dark room. She opened the door and stepped into the hallway, she figured the sound was coming from Dawn's room, but she couldn't hear it as well as she could in her room. She stepped back through the doorway and walked to the window, tears filling her eyes as the soft chords of the guitar drifted to her ears. Her hands trembled as she slid the window open and she leaned out, tears blurring her vision of him standing on her lawn, softly plucking the strings of his guitar. She gripped the window sill and used it to keep herself on her feet, when she heard his strong voice begin to softly serenade her.

"I wonder should I tell you
`bout all the crazy things I've ever done
I've been searching all my life
And when I should have stayed
I tried to run"


Dogs were barking and lights were coming on in the surrounding houses, but he didn't care. Not when she stood in her window, looking down on him like an angel. He gave her a smile as he sang, and nearly cried when she sent him her own smile as bright as the sun.


"I was searching for an answer
In a world full of strangers
But what I found was never real enough
Now that I've found you
I'm looking in the eyes of love"


She couldn't move and she couldn't breath, she had fallen in love with him all over again. The past didn't matter anymore, not when he was standing before her, his soul singing straight into hers.



"Darlin' you've been good to me
You are so much more than I deserve
I never thought that I would find
Someone who's so sweet and kind like you
Please believe me when I say
This time I won't run away
I swear by all of heaven's stars above
Now that I've found you
I'm looking in the eyes of love"


He watched as she stepped away from the window, disappearing into the darkness. His heart crumbled and he was blinded by tears, but his voice never faltered. He closed his eyes and continued singing to her, even if she didn't want to hear it. But when she touched his face, his eyes snapped open and he dropped to his knees in front of her, his love ringing clear through the words of the song. His hands were trembling as he plucked the strings and tears of relief and joy poured down his face as he finished the song.


"Looking in the eyes of love I can see forever
I can see you and me walking in this old world together
Lord my heart's found a home
I've been dreaming of a home
Now that I've found you
I'm looking in the eyes of love"


The last chord of the song rang into the night and he looked up at her, grabbing her hands and pulling them to his face, nuzzling it against them. His tears soaked her hands and she softly wiped them away.

"Buffy."

His voice was thick with tears and his lips were tembling.

"Please. Please, give me another chance. I'll- I'll do anything. Please..." His plead trailed into a whisper as his voice was overcome by tears.

"Anything?"

He looked up at her a spark of hope igniting in his eyes.

"Anything, Buffy. Anything."

She looked at his face and gave him a small smile, tugging on his hands.

"Come up here and kiss me."

He jumped to his feet and pulled her to him, neither caring of the guitar digging into their stomach.

The kiss was perfect. It was passion and love. It was a beginning and it was an ending.

It was coming home.







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A/N: Song is "Looking through the eyes of love" by Alison Krauss





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