disclaimer: nothing's mine......but i'll willingly settle for James!!!!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

WHAM!

Buffy cracked the vampire hard across the jaw. She threw punches at him, but the vamp blocked every single one.

While exchanging hits, Buffy managed to say, "Not bad. How hard you gonna hit when you're blowin' in the wind?"

Buffy whipped out a stake and thrust it towards the vamp's chest. He knocked it out of her hands, and she said, "OK, that's not good."

The vamp planted a kick to her chest that sent her flying into a gravestone. Pain like she never experienced shot through Buffy's back, and when she saw the vamp heading towards her, she tried to get up, but fell back down with a cry of pain.

The vamp lifted her up the her shirt, and lowered his head to her neck.

Buffy closed her eyes, waiting to feel the sharp penetration of fangs.....

....when dust rained on her.

She opened her eyes, to see a worried Spike standing over her, stake in hand. "You OK?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"I'm fine." she said through clenched teeth. The last thing she wanted was help from him. "Go away. Now."

But Spike, being the stubborn vampire he is, stood there, waiting for her to stand. When she showed no signs of moving, he sighed and sat down on a nearby headstone.

"We....we have to talk, Buffy," he said softly. He closed his eyes, keeping his emotions together. She wouldn't forgive him if he broke down and cried like a baby.

"I have NOTHING to say to you," she grunted as she pushed herself into a sitting position. "Now, Go. Away."

"I......I'm sorry," he said. "About....."

Buffy raised her eyes to his and forced hers to harden when she saw the raw pain reflected in the cereulean deapths. "Nothing to be sorry about. I don't care or have a choice in who you sleep with."

"I was drunk! And lonely, and....." he trailed off, and allowed his face to soften. "Tell me it didn't hurt, seeing me with Anya. Tell me.....tell me it didn't touch something sour inside you when you saw me with another woman, and I'll leave. I'll leave Sunnydale, I'll leave California....just.......tell me it didn't mean anything, and I'm gone."

She didn't answer.

"Right," he sighed. "Why are you fighting me? Why can't you admit to yourself that you love me?"

"I can't," she choked. "I can't...."

"Says who? The Scoobies? What does it matter what they say? Who are they to judge who you're with? I mean, ex-vengeance demon? Werewolf? Witch?"

"They all have souls," Buffy gritted out.

"All but one."

Buffy raised her head. "Wha-What do you mean?"

"Well....Anya. She doesn't have a soul anymore."

"What?"

"She's a demon again. No soul. She still your friend?"

"Well, yeah...."

"Why?"

"Because she felt guilty!"

"No. She didn't. She told me that night at the party where the house was possessed that she missed being able to castrate people with the wave of her hand."

"N-No....she had a soul!"

"Why are you so hung up on this soul, Slayer? There are people with souls that have done worse things! Hitler killed millions of people, Harris left his girl at the alter......William Shatner poisoned us with his music....they all have souls. If souls make everything better, things would have worked out between you and peaches."

"ANGEL felt guilty about everything he did as Angelus."

"And I felt guilty for hurting you!" he snapped. Tears sprung to his eyes, clinging to his lashes. "I hurt you. And now I hate myself. Is that guilt, Buffy? Hating yourself for hurting someone?"

She didn't answer.

He sighed and stood up, wiping his eyes. "Right then, Slayer. When you finally figure out it's not up to your mates to decide what's good for you, I'll be...in my crypt."

He turned and began to walk away, only to be stopped by a softly spoken, "Wait...."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

AN---------do you like it so far?

please review! i don't know if i should continue!





You must login (register) to review.