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“Luv?” Spike kneeled beside the slayer and shook her, attempting to wake her up. All he got was a little murmur that he couldn’t really understand so he tried again. “Luv? Time to patrol…” Buffy opened her eyes slowly and rubbed them before sitting up.

“What time is it?” She yawned and drew her blankets up to her chest to keep warm.

“Its already 9, it’s your turn to patrol tonight…I can come along if you want. You look a little tired.” Spike offered. Once the word she heard the word patrol, her dream barged back into her mind as she remembered what happened…

(The old lady fell onto the ground as Caleb stepped out from behind her. Their battle was quick and painful as Caleb threw Buffy around like a rag doll. She was no match for him. One of his blows sent Buffy crashing into the wall. He stood in front of her and was about to kill her when a force sent him flying. It was Angel. Angel said something before Caleb suddenly appeared again. The preacher knocked the vampire unconscious before taunting Buffy. Buffy fought ferociously, and eventually got the upper hand against the weakened Caleb. With one swing, the evil preacher was split in 2. Angel was ok by now, he stood up and said something. Angel said something before moving in to kiss her. Buffy wanted to pull away but something made her copy his movements. Every time Angel came back to town, it was like they had to do something together. Even if they didn’t feel anything, it was like a ritual. Buffy knew they had to stop but when she thought of that, it was too late. Angel got a file from between the pillar and started walking towards her again. He brought out an amulet and started explaining that he was gonna wear it. Buffy saw herself refuse to let him to that and take it herlself….)

“Buffy? Luv? Don’t go crazy on me again luv..” Spike asked worriedly as he waved his hand in front of her eyes.

“No.” Buffy said as she remembered the First whispering things into Spike’s ear as he watched her kiss with Angel.

“No what?” Spike asked, forehead scrunching up a bit.

“Don’t come patrol with me, I’ll be ok…” Buffy said, giving Spike a chaste kiss before hopping out of bed.

“You sure luv? I don’t want you freezing like you did a few minutes ago…” Spike questioned as he followed Buffy to the washroom.
“I’ll be ok.” Buffy smiled a little, “I’m gonna take a shower now, its nice to feel clean before I kick some demon butt.”

“Alone?” Spike asked out of habit, raising his eyebrow.

“Well, I was planning for somebody to join me…” Buffy grinned a little before pulling him into the small room with her. Once Spike entered the room, his smile faded.

“Buffy, I-I cant be in here…” Spike asked, looking around frantically, “Not after wh-what I did.” Memories filled his mind of the horrible crime he committed in the small room.

“Spike, calm down its only a room…” Buffy said softly as she tried to take his hand. Spike pulled back and started pacing.

“I cant,” Spike said as he crouched in a corner, “I’m so sorry, I don’t deserve to be alive, I’m so sorry…” Tears sprung from his eyes and he crouched there, hands on his head.

“Spike, we have to get over this,” Buffy said as she kneeled beside the vampire. She wrapped her hands around him, “We have get over this if we want to this to work. I’ve already forgiven you for it…”

“I don’t deserve it, Buffy. I was such a jerk...” Spike whispered, tears flowing slower then they were a few minutes ago.

“Spike, I was a jerk at times too…I shouldn’t have been such a bitch to you when you were there for me. Spike, we both had our faults…” Buffy reasoned and hugged him tighter. Spike sniffed a little and looked at the washroom.

“I don’t know if I can get through this Buffy, I love you so much…I don’t want to hurt you again.” Spike said.

“You won’t Spike, I know you won’t.” Buffy said, she got up and offered Spike her hand, “Now lets take a shower.” Spike got up slowly as Buffy pulled him towards the shower.

“Buffy, aren-arent we going a just a little too fast?” Spike asked as Buffy began to strip.

“It’s now or never Spike, its now or never….” Buffy trailed off, remembering the last moments of the nightmare.

(********************an hour later****************)

“BuffY!!!” Willow shouted as she pounded on the bathroom door. “Buffy!!! a few of the girls need to use the bathroom.” She heard a British voice swear as she heard the shower being turned off. The Wicca turned around to the group of potentials waiting.

“Ok, who needs to use the shower?” Willow asked. The potentials all stuck up their hands.

“Why? Something wrong with the shower?” One of them asked.

“Oh, no, nothing wrong,” Willow smiled nervously, “Just rinse it out before you do anything ok?”

“I’m going first!” Rona shouted. Right after Rona said that, Buffy walked out of the washroom with Spike following closely behind.

“On second thought, I don’t wanna go first…” Rona said after the pair returned to their room.

(*********************END CHAPTER*********************)
TBC
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